by Emma Darcy
“Appealing. That’s what the salesgirl said. I wonder if appealing means sexy? What do you think, Spike? Does this smell sexy?”
Spike’s howl sounded like a mating call.
It put Jack in a great mood for getting dressed and on his way. New clothes, too. Casual smart. The open-necked olive green shirt had a nice feel to it, soft and silky. The snugly fitting fawn trousers didn’t need a belt. The less obstacles to undressing, the better, Jack figured. Fumbling did not feature in his plans for tonight.
It would also be good if Charlie girl cooperated by sleeping through as many hours as she could. Give Nina a real break so she could relax and not worry about interruptions and hurrying things. All going well on the medical side, he’d have to speak to Charlie girl about considering her mother’s needs. Her father’s needs, as well. He rehearsed a few lines as he slid on a pair of leather moccasins that didn’t require socks.
“Listen up, kid. You and I need to come to an accommodation. Give your mum a good rest tonight, and tomorrow I’ll introduce you to my dog. How’s that, Spike?”
A bark of approval.
“We’ll be having a few changes around here soon, Spike. I’ve got myself a family. Well, almost. Nina’s holding out on marrying me, but I’m sticking in there, and sooner or later she’ll say yes.”
He bent to give his faithful companion a good ruffle behind the ears. “Happy days are coming, Spike. We might even get a little dog for you to boss around and lick into shape for Charlie girl. You are a bit big for her.”
The growl could have been pleasure from the scratching, but Jack saw a doubtful gleam in the beady brown eyes.
“You’re right. I’m big, too. The trick is to be gentle with her. No rough stuff. Okay?”
Spike nodded.
“Good dog. Come on. It’s early dinner again for you, but I got a great bone from the butcher to make up for it. Lots of meat left on it.”
Bone was the magical word. Spike perked up and pranced towards the staircase, his great bushy tail swishing with eagerness. Jack was just as eager as his dog. They raced down the stairs together, barking and laughing.
Once in the kitchen, Jack wasted no time in handing over the special treat. Spike growled his delight and approval and retreated to his corner to gloat over it. Hours of gourmet pleasure in this bone. He watched his water dish being filled and was content. This man was definitely the best of all possible friends. He even smelled good.
“Well, Spike,” he said, “I’m off now. Wish me luck.”
Having been given his heart’s delight, Spike howled encouragement.
“Right on, Spike. Tonight could be the night.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
NINA settled Charlotte for the night, fussing with the bunny rug, delaying the moment when she’d have to face Jack alone with no more responsibilities to claim her attention. At least, not for hours. It was only ten-thirty. Sometimes Charlotte slept through until almost three o’clock.
It wasn’t as though she didn’t want to make love with him, and the doctor had assured her there was no reason to hold back, yet a host of inhibitions were crowding her mind and playing havoc with her nerves, making her tense and apprehensive. She simply couldn’t put aside the fact that it wasn’t the same as it had been before she fell pregnant with Charlotte.
She wasn’t carefree. She didn’t have only herself to consider. Most of all, she was afraid that having sex wouldn’t feel as satisfying as it should, either to her or to Jack. Giving birth to a baby had to have caused some physical difference, and if making love was a disaster, it would be awful.
As she straightened up from Charlotte’s capsule she flashed a smile at Jack, who had accompanied her into the bedroom, ostensibly to say good night to his daughter. “I have to go to the bathroom. Won’t be long.”
She fled before he could say anything, shutting herself in the bathroom like a panic-stricken virgin. It was ridiculous. Jack had been so patient, understanding, kind and thoughtful. She loved him. And tonight he was so excitingly attractive she’d barely been able to eat any dinner. Her stomach kept curling. Even the smell of his aftershave lotion had a tantalising appeal.
Aware that she was slightly sticky from breastfeeding, Nina whipped off her dressing gown and panties and stepped under the shower. Perhaps a warm spray all over would help her relax. Feeling freshly clean was an appealing idea, too, although she had showered before Jack’s arrival this evening.
Her breasts weren’t so tight since Charlotte had taken her fill. They weren’t a worry. Fortunately, her skin was not disfigured by stretch marks, although she hadn’t regained good muscle tone yet. The flesh on her abdomen felt slightly loose to her. Would Jack notice? It shouldn’t matter, she sternly told herself. All in all, she was in good shape.
Except for the stretching inside. There was surely some. Her internal muscles had to be fairly elastic to have coped with a baby’s passage, but Nina doubted they were as good as new again. What if she was, well, spongy? She wished Sally had had children. She could have asked her about it. Her doctor had said there was nothing to worry about, but he was a man. It was times like these when a woman needed a mother who cared enough to have an intimate discussion with her daughter.
Nina sighed and turned off the taps. She vowed to be on hand when Charlotte grew up and had a baby. Her daughter was not going to lack a sympathetic female ear, nor the loving reassurance a mother could give. There were many problems in being a woman. Many pleasures, too.
As she towelled herself dry, Nina concentrated on the pleasures. She didn’t want to spend the rest of her life in a sexual vacuum. Jack was a great lover. Impossible to imagine anyone better. He really cared about making her feel good, and he knew how to do it.
Whether he turned into a loving father to Charlotte or not, Nina reasoned she owed it to herself to extend the loving experience with Jack, as long as he wasn’t stirring up tensions and problems with their child. Tonight was the night. If she didn’t jump this self-conscious barrier about her body, it was only going to get bigger and bigger in her mind. Maybe she should suggest dancing. Jack had a very seductive way of making her forget things when he danced with her.
Nina slid on the Christian Dior dressing gown again. She looked at her panties and decided no. She was going to do it. Make love with Jack, no matter what. Barriers were out. She moved over to the vanity bench and slid open the mirror cabinet above it. She took out the tiny bottle of perfume Sally had given her the morning after Charlotte was born, saying it was to remind her she was still a woman, as well as a mother.
Spellbound, by Estee Lauder. She dabbed some on her pulse points. It had a sexy scent. Definitely sexy. Jack would certainly get the message. No backing off tonight.
Nina returned the bottle to the shelf, slid the mirror door shut, took a deep breath and left the bathroom on a wave of unshakable determination and a waft of telling perfume. She heard Jack’s voice in the bedroom. Without hesitation she went to join him.
“That’s it, Charlie girl,” he was saying as she walked in, his voice low and intense.
“What’s it?” Nina asked curiously. Jack had a weird way of talking to Charlotte, as though she understood everything he said. Nina sometimes wondered if it was a subconscious defence against his dislike of babies. If he spoke to Charlotte as though she were an adult, she wasn’t one of them.
He straightened up and swung to face her, a satisfied little smile hovering on his lips. “Oh, I was just telling her about my dog.”
A light switched on in Nina’s mind. Jack spoke to his dog as though it understood everything, too. She’d found it rather endearing, although it only minimally reduced her unease with the huge, intimidating animal. Jack had said Charlotte was like a puppy. Since he loved his dog, maybe it was best he kept likening Charlotte to a puppy.
“That’s nice,” she said. Or was she going stark, raving mad in her need to have everything turn out right?
“She’s going to sleep now,” Jack assured
her as he left Charlotte’s side. “Are you okay?” His eyes raked hers, checking for any sign of reluctance, assuring himself there was no last-minute change in the current of aroused sexuality that had been flowing so strongly between them all evening.
“Yes.” Unmitigated consent, throbbing through her, reaching out to him, pulling him to her in wanton dismissal of the cares that had trip-wired the churning desire to know and feel every dimension of intimacy with this man.
The cautious query in his eyes winked out. A few strides and she was in his arms, no hesitation, an urgent claiming that couldn’t wait any longer to savour the freedom to sate their senses in each other. For several seconds he simply held her crushed to him, as though soaking in the imprint of her body.
“You feel so good.” His cheek rubbed over her hair as he swayed, rocking with an exultation of spirit that swirled through her, setting her heart pounding with anticipation. He inhaled deeply, the air suddenly sweeter to him than ever before. “Smell so good,” he added with a raw sigh.
“You, too,” she whispered.
“I’m dying to taste all of you, Nina.”
“Yes.” A hiss of elation, wild recklessness seizing her.
Her arms locked around his neck, and she arched against him, revelling in the tension of his hard, hot muscles as she tilted her head back, her eyes a dark, sultry invitation, her lips already parted for him. She needed to be swept into a fast and furious maelstrom of passion, needed to have sensation bombarding her mind, needed to feel, not think, and for the feeling to be so intense, so pervasive, so exciting, there wasn’t room for anything else, only Jack and her, man and woman, fusing in a feast of feeling.
She met his mouth eagerly in a kiss of urgent hunger, their tongues dancing with wildly erotic intent, dipping deeply, sweeping, darting, thrusting, coiling around each other in a tantalising tango, driving towards the ultimate coupling, a feverish forerunner fuelling their desire for fulfilment. She moved her hips provocatively against his, and his hands swept down to her buttocks to incite a more raunchy rolling contact, aggressive and fiercely possessive.
It was intensely exciting.
Jack tore his mouth from hers, groaning with pre-climax tension. “This is too fast.”
“Not for me,” Nina said, wanting to lose herself in the throes of passion.
He swung her over to the bed and wrenched her gown open. In hot haste he swept the silk from her arms, his hands quickly scooping up to cup her breasts tenderly, weighing them as though they were newly precious to him.
“The magic of a woman,” he said huskily, and bent to curl his tongue around her distended aureoles, sending piercing shafts of pleasure through Nina, totally immobilising her for several enthralling moments before the need to touch him snapped her into movement.
She dragged his shirt out of his trousers. It was all the prompt he needed to break off his absorption in her to discard his clothes. Their eyes shone with rapturous delight in each other, and their hands revelled in the blissful sensuality of skin against skin, fingers grazing, luxuriating in touch, warm flesh seething with sensation.
“I never stopped remembering you,” Nina whispered, “but feeling makes it real.”
“Let me make it lastingly real, Nina.”
He clamped her naked body to his as he carried her with him onto the bed, then beguiled her with a shower of kisses that sucked and caressed, teased and ravished. She writhed voluptuously under the smouldering heat of his lips and tongue, uninhibitedly offering him the freedom to do all he wanted. Her breasts tingled. Her stomach rippled with spasms of excitement. Her thighs quivered. Then the sweet ecstasy of the most intimate of all kisses drove her mindless with need for the exquisite feeling of him filling her.
She raked his shoulders in frantic urging. “Come into me now, Jack. Now,” she cried.
He surged over her, into her, and she wound her legs around him, lifting herself to the fast, beautiful, slide of his flesh, the glorious strength and power of it pulsing forward, crowding the waiting emptiness, taking it by storm, injecting an explosion of sensation that held her on a pinnacle of pure bliss.
“Again,” she begged.
The sheer poignant splendour of it held her impaled as the thrust was repeated and repeated in the vibrant rhythm of intense possession, transporting them both into the inner world of oneness, where neither had any existence without the other and desire was answered and satisfied in the wild, orgasmic heat of giving and taking.
Wave after wave of exquisite delight convulsed Nina’s body, overriding the memories, turning dreams into the vibrant substance of a reality that was beyond imagination. Love had so many forms, but this was the heart and soul and body of it, this union that communed with instinct, rejoicing in its sublime rightness. On one final crest of ecstasy she felt the added spill of Jack’s climax, like hot foam rushing to mingle with the swirl of her sweet release, and her arms curled around him, bringing him down to her to kiss once more in a seal of completion.
Her man, the only one who had ever made her feel this incredible sense of fragility and strength, both vulnerable and invincible, stirring her trust in him to let herself go and exult in a togetherness that went beyond anything earthly. There was awe and wonder in their kiss, a celebration of love fulfilled, their lips tingling deliciously as they drew apart.
“Jack…” She breathed his name with a sigh of blissful happiness, hugging him tightly to her.
“You and me, Nina,” he murmured, wrapping her in his arms and carrying her with him as he eased his weight off her and rolled onto his back. “Nothing could ever be as great as this,” he concluded, his contentment settling around her like a warm cloak of lovely security.
“It was all right for you, then?” she asked, not really needing the assurance but wanting to hear it.
He laughed, a deep rumble of pleasure. “Nothing in the world could be more right, my love.”
She smiled. “It was great for me, too.”
For a while they simply luxuriated in lying together. Nina loved rubbing her legs against Jack’s powerfully muscled thighs and calves. He had such a magnificent physique. His broad chest rose and fell under her cheek in a quiet hum of happiness. She played her finger pads teasingly over the erotic places she knew, just under his hipbone, down the side of his rib cage, near his groin, enjoying the spasmic shiver of pleasure she aroused.
Jack ran his fingernails over her back, lightly raking her skin. It made her feel like purring. She adored it. He could do it for hours, and she’d love every minute of it. Being naked with Jack was a hedonistic delight, packed with a multitude of sensory pleasures.
“I like your aftershave lotion,” she said.
“It’s called Obsession.” She heard his grin. “I very much want you obsessed with me.”
She laughed. “I am. My perfume is called Spellbound.”
“Ah! You have me entranced.”
“Mmm…” She snuggled languorously, indulging herself in stretching and curling over him, so delectably different to being coldly alone. “I could stay like this forever,” she murmured.
“Well, it would be a step in the right direction if you married me.” Jack rolled the words out confidently.
She wanted to. But…“It’s not that easy, Jack,” she said regretfully.
“We can make it easy, Nina. We just get Sally to arrange everything. I’ll happily pay her fee, so it’s no trouble to you.”
“I didn’t mean the business of making arrangements.”
“What then?” He turned her onto her back and heaved himself onto his side so he could look into her eyes and watch the play of expression on her face. “Tell me the problem, Nina,” he gently insisted.
There was no avoiding the truth, and she didn’t want to. Honesty was the only way to go in this open intimacy between them. She had to hope Jack would understand, and she trusted he would appreciate where she was coming from.
“It goes back a long way, Jack,” she said ruefully.
&
nbsp; “I’m listening.”
She held nothing back, telling him about her childhood, her parents’ constant bickering, their resentments at being trapped by the responsibility of looking after the child neither of them had wanted, her hatred of asking them for anything, the misery of slinking away from arguments, making herself as unobtrusive as possible, the lonely sense of not really belonging anywhere, her grandmother’s attitude of paying for her keep when she went to live with her after the divorce.
The memory of her mother’s and grandmother’s attitudes did not concern Nina so much. She knew she would do her utmost never to load her daughter with negative feelings. It was the memory of all the hurtful rejections from her father that weighed on her heart.
“My dad always found me a nuisance, Jack. Everything he ever did for me was a chore. He looked at me as though I were a constant irritation. It made me shrink inside.”
“Did he hit you, Nina?” Jack asked softly.
“No more than the occasional smack. It wasn’t physical abuse, Jack. It was his attitude towards me that hurt. He simply didn’t want me in his life.”
“He shouldn’t have married your mother. Bad decision. You would have been better off adopted by a couple who wanted a baby, Nina.”
She took a deep breath. He wasn’t applying what she was saying to himself. She had to bring it home to him. “Jack, you didn’t want a baby, either.”
He frowned, not liking the parallel she was drawing. “You think I’d act like that with our daughter?”
“I don’t want Charlotte to ever feel what I felt, Jack,” she said earnestly. “I know you mean well, and you’ve been very good with her, but I’m afraid you won’t be able to keep it up.”
He pondered that for a while, his eyes sad and sympathetic as they scanned hers, taking in the doubts they harboured. “I really dug my grave with my mouth, didn’t I?” he remarked wryly.
Nina was relieved to see he wasn’t offended. She reached up and stroked his cheek. “I love you, Jack. You’re a wonderful person. I don’t want to drag you into parenthood if it doesn’t suit you. It would end up hurting all of us.”
