by Sienna Mynx
“I told you…”
“You just as confused as him. At first I couldn’t mention him and now you too kept asking questions about him. It’s exhausting.”
“Sorry to exhaust you. I care about him. Cared about him…”
“Love him? Are you in love with him?”
The bartender is observing and listening to our conversation. He continued to fill a beer mug with suds and stares at me. Georgie stares at me. They wait for my answer.
“Yea, I am. I’m still in love with him. I can’t help it.”
“Stick to the plan Coco. Come to the islands with us. We’re going a week before the family arrives for the wedding. If you want him back you can have him. He still loves you. He needs you. There’s something wrong with Brick since he lost you. He’s angry, irrational, he’s dangerous. He’s Pops.”
“Why is he pushing me away when he haven’t even tried to talk yet?”
“He’s a man. He’s afraid. Or just stupid. I dunno.”
“I know why. Because love between a man and woman is a temporary madness,” I mumble.
“What?”
“A saying I used to love, used to say, never knew why. Now, I do.” I look over at her. “I did what my family wanted me to. I did it and I lost my family, lost Brick. Destroyed something special between us. I want him back, Georgie. So bad, I’m willing to try. He needs to see me try. Doesn’t he?”
Georgie pulls me over to her and I hug her. She rubs my back.
“You’re my hero, Coco. Do you know that? You taught everything I shouldn’t do.”
“What?” I laugh and push her off me.
“I’m kidding. I love your strength. I admire it. The way you protected everyone you loved. It might not have turned out the way you wanted but it showed me the right way to do things. That’s why I didn’t run off and elope with Marcel. Why I waited and forced my daddy and nona to accept him. Now they love him. You helped me grow up. Let me help you. Brick is nuts, girl. But one thing fo-sho he still crazy in the head about you. Okay?”
I smile. I can’t explain it but I’m so happy. I haven’t felt this kind of hope in a long time. I look over to my phone and see a message from Brick. The moment I read his response to my text I laugh out loud.
“It’s Brick?” Georgie asks.
“Yeah.”
“What does it say?”
“He told me to go to hell.”
“See! I told you! He’s crazy about you!”
We laugh so hard the bartender joins in. I’ve missed my friend so much. I hug her neck and kiss her cheek.
“You’re going to be okay,” Georgie tells me.
Chapter Twenty-Three
I hate early morning flights. I hate airports. More than anything I discovered since my move to New York, that I actually hate airplanes. Sitting in the terminal waiting for the flight I watch Georgie giggle and kiss on Marcel. It’s embarrassing. Georgie couldn’t convince me to stay with them instead of my pricey hotel. I wanted to give the love-bugs their space. Besides all that kissy face, Georgie gets really amped when she has an audience. The compromise was the ride to the airport. I wished Brick had offered but no one had seen or heard from him since our fight in the restaurant.
Now we have ten minutes before boarding and I’m worried he’s made good on the threat not to come. I’m not sure what time alone with him on a beautiful island would change. But I’m willing to find out. I just wish he was too.
“Hey? You okay over there?”
I glance over. “I’m okay.”
“Don’t worry, Coco, Brick will be here.” Marcel says.
“I’m not worried. It’s his loss if he doesn’t come.”
The flight attendant announces they are boarding the gate. First went the handicap and people with kids. I gather my carryon and purse. Georgie and Marcel booked us all first class. I can’t help but feel disappointed. I look left to right down the terminal and I don’t see Brick. I understand why I might not be his favorite person, but Marcel is his best friend. What does it say about their friendship if he decided not to be Marcel’s best friend?
Last night I couldn’t sleep. I kept replaying the conversation I had with Brick in the restaurant. One minute he was trying to kiss me on the mouth, and the next minute he was cursing at me. Brick never did or said a single disrespectful thing to me the entire time we were together. He was pretty much a happy person.
Did I really cause this?
The flight attendant calls for us to board. I glance back once more and look for Brick. If he misses the flight he could catch another one. We’ll be in St. Kitts for a week celebrating before the wedding festivities and guests even arrive. I suck down a deep breath and sigh. The attendant scans my boarding pass and I follow Georgie and Marcel into the long carpeted hall toward the plane. Marcel has his hand on Georgie’s butt. I roll my eyes. I decide right then and there I will make this a working trip. I’ll deal with my issues with Brick later. If he isn’t coming I’ll soak up the sun and do some writing by the beach. It’s been ages since I’ve had a vacation.
First class seating is pretty empty when we arrive. I prefer a window seat. Across from me and my empty seat is Georgie and Marcel. She’s tonguing him on the plane in front of everyone. I can’t take anymore.
I close my eyes and try to relax. The attendant asks me if I want something to drink while everyone is boarding the plane. I shake my head no. What I want is a magic wand to wave over my life and start all over again. There are so many things I want to change. I open my eyes and tears spring up as the last passengers board. Brick really does hate me. Georgie was wrong. He isn’t coming.
“Here’s your seat, sir,” the attendant says.
I look up to see Brick. He has a duffle bag that he is shoving in the overhead compartment. I can see Georgie from behind him giving me the thumbs up. Brick closes the compartment and looks at me. He’s wearing dark sunglasses so I can’t see his eyes. He takes the seat next to me and I smile. He doesn’t say a thing. He doesn’t even acknowledge me. But he parts his knees and his left knee bumps mine. I don’t move my knee, he moves his. He’s such a big baby. Trying to swallow my smile I close my eyes and relax. I’m ready for our do-over to begin.
Five minutes after take-off she’s asleep. At first I thought she was closing her eyes to avoid having to talk to me. But when I look over her head is against the window. She has her sweater covering her like a small blanket. I reach up and turn off the vent that’s blowing air on her. I know that it must add to her feeling cold.
“Something to drink sir?”
I can see Georgie look over at me when I’m asked the question. In two years I hadn’t taken a drink or smoked any weed. Last night was the first time. And now I got an itch to do both.
“Vodka,” I tell her.
She smiles for me. A pretty thing with bright red hair. I haven’t had a red head in a while. I glance over to Georgie and she’s frowning. I see her telling Marcel on me. He frowns and looks over. Fuck them both. I’m on the plane. I can deal with it my way.
The attendant brings me the cup of ice and two small Smirnoff bottles. It’s not that I’m interested in the red-head. I’m just used to finding women, many women, to make me feel numb. I glance over to Coco who is sleeping. I want to wake her up. She missed my flirting. She’s missing my drinking. Both are for her to see. I know Georgie has told her my problems. I know it. She had that smug look on her face when I arrived.
I’m tripping hard.
My head is so fucked up.
“Aye yo Brick. Chill man. Please.” Marcel says. I cut my eyes over to him. He and Georgie are watching me. I open the Smirnoff and pour it into the cup. And then I feel Coco’s hand on my thigh.
I glance over to find she’s awake. Maybe she woke when Marcel spoke. I’m not sure. But she’s staring at the vodka. Well, fuck them all. I drink it in front of them. Coco’s hand leaves my thigh. I can hear Georgie and Marcel voicing their concern. I start to open the second bottle.
<
br /> “Brick,” Coco says.
“What?”
“I’m glad you decided to come.”
I look over at her and she looks at me. I pour the next bottle into the cup and take another drink. Now, I’m cool. At least cool enough to deal with this long ass flight next to her. The attendant comes over with a basket of everything from granola bars to cookies. Coco pulls up her sweater and stares at me. I take peanuts and some M&M’s. I’m munching and staring straight ahead saying nothing.
“I was thinking we could talk,” she says.
“I got nothing to say.”
“You want me to ride next to you for the rest of flight in silence?” she asks.
I don’t answer.
“I’m sorry, Brick.”
I glance over at her.
“The musical. I should have reached out to you and told you about it. Gave you that courtesy. I’m sorry, okay?”
“Fuck your musical.”
“Brick? Seriously? This mean guy stuff is getting exhausting. You mad at me. I get it. I deserve it. But if you keep cursing at me I’m going to shut a door you may want to open in the future. Do you understand?”
I glance at her. She doesn’t blink. I cut my eyes away. She closes her eyes and leans against the window. That’s it. There’s nothing left between us. And I’m thirsty for another drink.
He had four vodkas. What could I say? Don’t drink. Let’s be friends? He’s mean, he’s distant, and he’s bitter. In other words he is killing my fantasy. My only defense is to close my eyes and try to get some sleep I’ve been missing. Two hours into the flight I wake up to find his head resting on my shoulder. He’s snoring lightly. Brick never snored when we were together. But he is now. Its not loud enough to disturb the other passengers, thankfully.
His hand is close to my thigh. I reach over gently and touch it. He doesn’t wake. I run my fingers over the top of his knuckles. I’ve missed his hands. I remember when we first started rehearsing for the role of the character Bullet in my musical. He was my reincarnation of Brick. I fired three actors before I found the man who looked and sounded enough like Brick to make my vision come through. I was divorced then. Trying to pick up my life in New York and avoid the tabloid press that kept stalking me whenever I left my condo. The actor was the first man I invited into my place since my marriage and Brick. The first man I allowed to kiss me. And when things got really steamy between us he was the first I considered sleeping with. But I couldn’t do it. He touched me and it didn’t feel like Brick. He didn’t have Brick’s hands. He didn’t have his vibrations. He was just as much of a fraud as Xavier. So I threw him out and cried the rest of the night.
All over Brick’s hands.
I put my hand under his. I press the pads of my fingers against his and then rub my palm against his. It soothes me. I’m so busy staring at our hands touching him I don’t see that Brick is awake. He’s staring at me. I look up and into his eyes.
Before he says something nasty and ends my fantasy I do the one thing I know I shouldn’t. I kiss him. Brick’s mouth isn’t slack against mine. He doesn’t push me off and scream assault. On the contrary, when our lips meet its as if time hasn’t passed between us. He kisses me back, deeply. And I can’t let go of my joy. It ends though. Abruptly he sits up and removes his hand from mine. It’s like the part of his brain that wants to remain the angry victim in our love affair is alert and calling the shots. Brick wipes down his face with his hand.
“I’m sorry, Brick… I…”
He unlocks his seatbelt and gets up from his seat. He walks down the hall to the bathroom. I really pushed it too far. There is too much raw emotion between us for me to do something so impulsively. I glance over and see Georgie is sleeping with her head on Marcel’s shoulder. Marcel who, sits by the window is awake though. And he must have seen the kiss. He winks at me. I nod.
The attendant comes back by.
“Excuse me?” I say.
“Yes?”
“No more drinks for my… friend. Okay? Some water would be nice.”
She blinks at me, and then looks up to Brick approaching us. She nods and moves away. Brick sits down. His face is wet. He must have splashed it with water.
“I was thinking that maybe tonight we can have dinner. Talk. You can talk. I’ll listen,” I begin. “Or I can talk. Explain Xavier, and what happened. We never had a chance to really talk.”
Brick plugs his ears with earbuds and turns on his phone to thumb thru his music. He settles back into his seat and close his eyes. He’s not fooling me. I felt it in the kiss. He’s going to have to deal with me. Eventually.
The attendant returns with water. Brick frowns. I accept both bottles. I then hand one to him. He looks at it as if it’s battery acid.
“Drink it, Brick. I’m serious.”
He takes the water bottle and does what I say. It was a small victory, but it was a positive sign. Maybe my kiss worked? We land in Miami and switch planes to St. Kitts. Georgie and I laugh and talk while the men walk ahead of us. I can tell Marcel is lecturing Brick. And I wish he wouldn’t. I don’t think it’s the way to reach him and get past his destructive behavior.
“I saw him take that drink,” Georgie says.
“Let’s not talk about it,” I mumble.
“If he’s going to drink the entire time we are here he can stay home,” Georgie huffs.
“I said let’s not talk about it. He’s fine. He’ll be fine.”
Georgie mumbles some other words of disgust. The next flight in is different. Instead of me sitting next to Brick, he’s asked to sit next to Marcel. Georgie readily agrees but I’m disappointed. We continue our trip with me listening to all of Georgie’s plans for the ceremony and constantly looking over to Brick who seems to be relaxed and laughing and talking with Marcel. The good thing is that he doesn’t drink again. The bad news is for the next three hours he doesn’t look my way.
“I got a surprise for you both when we land,” Georgie says.
“What kind of surprise?” I ask.
“You’ll see.”
Chapter Twenty-four
I’m not a complete coward. I will admit that being with Coco again is messing with my head and I’m handling it badly. It’s the feeling of restless anxiety that comes over me that causes my control to slip. I couldn’t take sitting next to her. I just couldn’t. And that kiss? That did it. I had to go to the bathroom and splash water on my face to continue to the flight. So it was best on the connecting flight I sit next to Marcel and chill. She’s fucking with me. Getting in my head, doing that black magic of hers to make me simple and weak.
We arrive in St. Kitts in the middle of the rainstorm. When we go through customs I find myself falling into that comfortable routine. Making sure she is in front of me, and her luggage is within her reach. When I see the custom officers giving her appreciative looks my jealousy peeks and I’m feeling that tightness in my chest all over again.
I’m the one that suggests we split up with two taxi’s. Mainly because the girls have so much luggage we couldn’t share one cab. And also because I want her, alone, with me. Coco is wearing a white strapless sundress. It’s one of those maxi dresses that slimming and clinging to her buttocks, the fabric slips between her butt cheeks when she walks. I keep falling behind her looking at her figure, her beauty, and remembering what should be left in the past.
Her magic is working.
In the cab she’s seated close to me. When I turn on my phone it immediately starts to beep with mix text messages. I got three from Darlene, two from Carol, and one from Lisa. Coco peeks over and sees the women messages and then turns her head away. Is she jealous? Well to hell with her. She’s the one that ran off and married another man.
I like her discomfort. I know it’s petty, but I do. I call Darlene back and laugh with her about nothing. Darlene is whining in my ear about wanting to be with me. I’m more interested in playing the role of lover as I see Coco squirm next to me. By the time we arrive at the r
esort she’s out of the back of the cab before the driver can open the door. She runs in the rain to the door.
“Shit!”
I hang up the phone and go after her. Coco keeps going through the double doors.
“Sir, your things!” the driver calls out.
I sigh and turn and go back to the cab to get our bags.
He’s such a bastard. What the hell makes him think I want to sit next to him and listen to him sweet talk another woman. I know he did it to get a rise out of me, but it hurt my feelings. I’ve tried being nice. I’m guilty and in love with the stupid jerk. But his ass is on thin ice. I’m not going to be tortured and disrespected anymore.
“Coco!”
I turn and see Georgie waving at me by the receptionist desk. She hurries over to me. “Cover up!” she says.
I look down and the rain has plastered my white dress to my body. My nipples are seen through the front. I pull out my sweater from my straw bag and put it on. “Thanks girl.”
“You okay?” Georgie touches my face.
“No. Yes. Forget it. I’m fine.”
“Brick’s still being an ass?”
I shrug. Georgie smiles and I can’t help but smile. “He told Marcel you were in his head so he took a drink. He told him he won’t drink again. That he’ll behave.”
“Okay,” I say.
“Relax. It’ll get better. And I got an idea how to make it better. C’mon.” Georgie sashays back to Marcel who hands us both our room keys. He’s going to catch up with Brick and see to our luggage. We take the elevator up.
“I want to show you, you’re room first. Me and Marcel have a honeymoon bungalow, so we aren’t staying inside but out by the beach.”
“Lucky you,” I smile.
“Girl, I told him no sex until my wedding night. He’s all kinds of pissed about it. I know I’m going to have to give him a hand job tonight to keep him off me.”
