by Sasha White
There was a distinct, thudding silence. I waited it out.
“Ah, Vicki,” Maurice said finally. “Are you sure?”
“Is he dusted?” I made sure I had my cop-voice on. Just the facts, no emotional attachment, no guilt.
“No,” Amanda said quickly. “Magdalena was able to catch him. But….”
“But?” I had a horrible feeling what the “but” was going to be, but I didn’t want to guess aloud, just on the off-chance I was wrong.
“But he’s unconscious and in critical condition,” Ken supplied. Damn. I’d guessed right. “He’s about as close to dusted as you can get without actually being dust.”
“Wonderful.” I tried not to focus on the fact that I’d essentially put Ralph into harm’s way and kept him there. But it must have showed on my face.
“No.” Ken shook his head. “You didn’t do this to Ralph. Our enemies did, but you didn’t.”
“Really? I didn’t fall for their perfect man trick? I didn’t turn Jack into a werewolf, without asking anyone to verify if he could make the transition well? I didn’t help the Adversary set things up to take out Ralph and everyone else?”
Maurice coughed. “Okay, yeah, you did. But not on purpose.”
“I’ll bet that’ll heal Ralph right up.”
We hit the ground, and I breathed a heavy sigh of relief. I had to figure it was going to be the only one I so sighed for a while.
Amanda put her arm around my shoulders. “He’ll forgive you,” she said quietly.
I pulled away. “Maybe he shouldn’t.”
Ken sighed. “Lord, what fools these undeads be.”
Amanda gave me a look I was familiar with – her “you’re an ass but I love you” look. “Come on, idiot-girl.” She grabbed me again. “Let’s go to the hospital and see just how rotten things are in our personal Denmark.”
“Everyone’s quoting Shakespeare,” I muttered. “What, did H.P. do some weekend course I missed? Just in case, I have one, too. Hey, nonnie, nonnie.”
Amanda laughed. “Glad to see your sense of humor’s back.”
“Such as it is,” Maurice said with a snort.
“Yeah? Let’s hear your Bard quote, then.”
Maurice gave me a long, slow smile. “Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps. Let’s go see which it’ll be for you, shall we?”
“Um, I fell for the trap, remember?”
Maurice still had that wide, sly smile on his face. “We shall see, Vicki darling. We shall see.”
Chapter 60
We reached the hospital, but getting to Ralph’s room proved to be a challenge. Due to all the activities we’d been indulging in, admittance rate was still at an all-time high, and we had a lot of beings, both sick and well, to get through.
Monty was just being released as we arrived. He hugged me. “So sorry to hear about what happened.”
“Yeah, I suck at the romance.”
Rover curled up around me and gave me white worm lovies. I scratched his head and felt a tiny bit better. White worms were great because it was exceedingly rare when they made you feel guilty. Usually they just made you feel needed and appreciated.
“So, Jack had us pretty well infiltrated,” Monty said, back to all business. “But it brings up a good point – how do we know we don’t have more double-agents among us?”
I groaned. “I can’t handle it. Maybe we do. I think I don’t care. I can’t spend all my time trying to discover which unlifelong friend of mine is really working for the Prince. Unlife’s too short, okay?”
Monty shook his head. “Maybe, but we want to extend it as long as possible.” He sighed. “I’ll work on it. You just take care of the here and now.”
“You were suspect number one, if that helps with your search.”
He looked startled, to the point where I thought an arm might fall off, but then he laughed. “You know, that makes sense.”
“You saying we should dust you?” Maurice asked.
“No. But it’s the right kind of thinking. Position of authority, person you’d least suspect, and all that.”
“Ah, that was Jack, and I least suspected us right into almost losing the War.” Something Jack had asked occurred to me. “You know, for sure the Prince’s side suspect we have double-agents.”
“How so?” Monty shrugged. “I mean, it makes sense, especially since they had an active double-agent within our midst. So, really, why wouldn’t they suspect?”
“Why haven’t we suspected? Maybe because the agents, whomever they are, are so good. I mean, Jack was excellent. If he hadn’t lost it tonight, werewolf-wise, I might never have guessed until it was too late.” That it was almost too late for Ralph I did my best to ignore for right now.
Monty looked off into space. “Why do you think they’re searching for an agent? If that’s what you mean.”
“It is. And it’s from the questions Jack asked me. He was trying to figure out if our spies were placed like we were. You know, were the spies equal to your rank, the Count’s rank, and so on.”
Monty and Ken exchanged worried looks. Maurice and Amanda looked blank. “Why would rank matter?” Amanda asked.
“They’re trying to determine how deep our mole might be,” Monty said.
“Or moles. Jack sure seemed to think we had plenty.”
“Which could mean they do, too, or could simply mean they aren’t sure about us,” Ken said. “But, Vic, you said something just now – Jack lost it? How do you mean?”
“He acted unlike any werewolf I’ve ever known after transition.”
“The walking thing?”
“Yeah, but more than that. He was acting…you know, like someone who didn’t know how werewolves really were might act.”
“Like he’d seen a lot of bad movies?” Amanda asked.
“Yeah, exactly.” I considered this. “Which makes no sense, because they have turned werewolves on the Prince’s side. All he’d need to do was ask them what their transitions had been like and how to act.”
“So either he did that, and ignored it, or he didn’t.” Now it was Ken’s turn to stare off into space. “Speaking as a cop, and not a jilted lover, how smart is Jack?”
“Speaking as myself, who, all things being equal, just did the jilting, smart. He’s a good cop. One of the best, many times the best. Oh, damn. I have to call the Chief. He has no idea, and that means Jack could be doing Gods and Monsters knows what to the Prosaic City P.D.”
Maurice cleared his throat. “The Count may have been down, but he was hardly out. Your human police chief’s been warned. He was quite angry – with Mister Yummy, not you, by the way.”
“Well, that’s something.” Another thought occurred. I was so proud. “Susan.”
“What?” Monty was apparently asking for everyone.
“Susan, the day dispatcher. Jack was sleeping with her. And if my family’s history is any indication –”
“He’s gone off to grab Bride Number Two,” Amanda finished for me. “I don’t want you to go,” she added quickly. “You need to regroup. Maurice and I will take a full squad and see if we can track her down before Jack does.”
“Call him the Adversary,” Ken said.
“No.” I put my hand on his arm. “You really are the best guy anyone could be exes with. But, no. Call him Jack. I need to fight Jack, not the Adversary.”
“You sure?” Ken asked. “Because that seems so…harsh.”
“But it’s reality. My reality’s always been harsh.” I had to remind myself, Ken was the Undead Ideal, but he was from an era so far removed from mine that sometimes it was like we weren’t even talking the same language. “Don’t worry. I’ll be stronger this way.”
“Hell hath no fury like a weregirl scorned,” Maurice suggested.
“Canines don’t lie much and we don’t like those who do. We really hate it when someone close to us has lied, particularly when it’s us they’ve lied to.”
“As I said.” Maurice rolled his
eyes. “So, Amanda and I are off to the races. What are the rest of you going to be doing?”
“Hunting moles,” Monty said. “Ken, I’d like your help.”
“He was suspect number two.”
They both gave me a dirty look. “Anyone else called out as the potential betrayer of the ages?” Monty asked rather more snidely than I felt necessary.
“Ralph, the Count, and Clyde, for starters. By the time we were done, pretty much any being could have been the main suspect. It’s easy to get paranoid, especially when there’s proof that paranoia is the right way to go. Jack even insinuated that the Gods and Monsters could be in on it.”
“The Prince’s side would like us to think so, yes.” Monty gently removed Rover from my waist and draped him over his shoulders. “We’ll be in touch. Give Ralph our best…you know, when he wakes up.”
The four of them gave me the hugs and the standard atta girls, and then I was alone. Well, as alone as it was possible to be in a hospital teeming with personnel I knew. But, I wasn’t with any of them. I was a lone wolf. I wondered how Ralph had stood it all these years.
It was easier to maneuver through the hospital this way, though. No one really paid me much notice, and I was able to find Ralph’s room in a few minutes. I hated hospitals, but I shoved that aside. I wasn’t here for me, I was here for him.
He looked pretty pathetic. His fur was matted with blood and he had an inordinate amount of tubes and wires going into his body. Beeping and blinking machines filled up half the room. He was twitching, which I hoped meant he was dreaming and that there was brain activity. I didn’t bother to look at the machines – I had no clue what any of them did or were trying to tell me, and now wasn’t the time to learn.
I grabbed his chart as I pulled the one chair in the room over and sat down. My last hospital visit I’d been in a similar position, only sitting on Jack’s lap. How long ago that felt.
Ralph was as bad as everyone had said. The doctor’s weren’t giving him a rosy recovery outlook. My throat felt tight as the words “all my fault” went across my mind like a repeating electronic banner. I took his paw in my hand.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you. You were right, all along – about Jack, about what we werewolves should be doing, maybe about everything. I’m sorry I never paid any attention until it was almost too late.”
He didn’t respond. I’d known he wouldn’t, but the disappointment rolled over me anyway. I thought about what Sexy Cindy had said, that she’d love it if a guy like Ralph wanted her. He should want her – she’d seen him for what he was, a hero.
But, hero or not, Ralph was a werewolf fanatic, and fanatics didn’t mate outside their species. Meaning he’d spent all this time hoping I’d wake up and smell the kibble.
Whether he’d wake up, or wake up still even remotely interested in me, was a mystery. I had to ask myself if I could be interested in him. It was hard to say yes or no. I’d called him when I was frightened and he’d come to save me – had saved me. Just like Black Wolf and his pack had come and saved me.
I gave up and let the tears come. I’d closed the door tightly behind me, so hopefully no one was going to hear me bawling my head off. I just hoped I could keep the howling to a minimum.
Not to enough of a minimum, apparently, if the arrival of a nurse I’d seen around but really didn’t know was any indication. She was older, plump, and sort of motherly, complete with her hair in a bun and her nurse’s cap on just so. Just looking at her was calming, which is why I figured she looked and dressed this way.
“Ah,” she said as she came in and shut the door behind her. “You must be our poor brave boy’s next of kin.”
“Sort of.” I already knew Ralph had no kin, and with no official pack, he was alone. But I was his superior officer, and that had to count for something. “Is he going to make it?”
She took the chart from me and glanced through it. “Well, it’s hard to say, but he’s a fighter, so I think he has a good chance.” I took a look at her nametag – Nurse Nancy, P.W., which meant Practicing Witch or Warlock, depending. Good, they made the best medical personnel, and I wanted Ralph to have the best.
“What about his mind and his physical prowess? Will he be back to normal, do you think?”
Apparently this was some sort of hospital code, because Nurse Nancy gave me a conspiratorial wink and patted my shoulder. “Oh, I’m sure he’ll be chasing you around the park in no time. Werewolves come out of anesthesia quite frisky, dear, don’t you worry. You’ll have your mate back good as new, if we have anything to say about it.”
I felt my cheeks get hot. “Uh, not quite what I meant.”
She giggled. “Oh, don’t be embarrassed. It’s one of the most natural things, for any species, alive or undead. And most spouses are worried about it, even though they don’t want to say so out loud. You’re not asking anything wrong or anything every other being whose loved one was injured doesn’t ask. Will I get my honey back and will he or she be the same honey? It’s an understandable concern.”
“You know, I have to ask – why do you think Ralph and I are…mated?”
She shrugged. “Well, I know I don’t really know you two well at all, but you’re a werewolf, too.”
“Yes.”
“And, as I understand it, werewolves are attracted to strength and virility.”
“True.” I had no idea where Nurse Nancy was going with this.
“Well.” She gave me another conspiratorial wink. “Not to insinuate that we’ve had our way with your boy here, but, ah, well, trust me when I say that he’s an impressive specimen. Quite a big boy, best in show, sort of thing.”
“I guess. I mean, he’s bigger than me in wolf form, but that’s to be expected.”
Nurse Nancy coughed. “I didn’t mean just in body structure, dear. You have quite a virile young wolf here, if I’m any judge.”
It took a while, but what she was euphemistically insinuating finally became clear. My cheeks got hotter. I’d never exactly lifted Ralph’s tail to take a look, but it made sense that the medical staff had. Nice to know Nurse Nancy was impressed.
She was also still prattling on about Ralph’s attributes. “Quite strong, too. Even unconscious he was still fighting – it took six of us to have a prayer of holding him down until the drugs took effect.”
“He’s dedicated, yeah.”
“Well, understandable. At least if what he was saying was any indication of what happened.”
“He’d been talking? That’s good, right?”
“Hopefully, yes. He was saying ‘get away from her’ over and over again.” She cocked her head at me. “You look a little worse for wear. You’re the ‘her’, I imagine?”
“Yeah.” I was the her. And even unconscious Ralph was trying to protect me. I couldn’t help it, the howling started in earnest.
“There, there.” Nurse Nancy was patting my head. Normally someone being this wolfy-cutesy would make me want to bite them, but it was definitely her thing, because it had the desired effect. I buried my face in her stomach and sobbed. “It’ll be alright, dear, it’ll be fine. He’s got you to come back for, and he will, I promise.”
“Are we on sanctified ground?”
Nurse Nancy pulled away from me and raised my chin with her hand. She looked confused. “Not that I know of, dear. Not desecrated, but only certain areas are sanctified. Do you want an angel or a saint? I don’t know that a blessing will help your young wolf, here, but it certainly couldn’t hurt.”
“No. He’ll get better from your and the others’ work, I’m sure. I just wanted to check that it was a normal promise.”
Nurse Nancy shook her head. “As normal as we can be, which is not at all and completely, at the same time.” She patted my shoulder again. “Now, you relax. Visiting hours are almost up, but under the circumstances, I’ll let you stay. However, I can’t bring another bed in here, so if you need to have a lie-down, there’s a waiting area just around the corner, with
couches, throw pillows, and blankets.”
With that she trotted out of the room and left me and my guilt alone with Ralph. I held his paw again and leaned my head on the bed. And thought – about everything but mostly about Jack.
But it was weird – my heart hurt, but not like I thought it should. Like Amanda had said, I’d been crazy about Jack, for well over a year. And yet, there was no part of me that wanted him back. The revulsion was too strong – Jack was part of the Adversary and there would never be a way I’d willingly let him touch me again.
But even so, I thought I should be feeling more bereft. But I wasn’t. Some of this had to do with Susan the day dispatcher. It had been clear she and Jack were an active item. Even if he hadn’t been a part of the Adversary, I’d want to rip his parts off for the infidelity.
The sex had been great, but the memory of what he’d tried to do right before Ralph had arrived was a total turn off. Playing was one thing – but Jack hadn’t been playing. He’d been, as I thought about it, just like I’d read my real fathers had been.
My whole body shuddered. I’d fallen in love with Jack’s exterior and now that I’d been exposed to the interior I was done, turned off like a light switch. It had never happened before, but if there was ever a time to recover fast from a bad relationship, now was it.
I considered whether part of my speedy emotional recovery was because Ralph was here and I was finally willing to look at him as an option, should he pull through. Possibly. But why was I open to Ralph now? Just because he’d been incredibly heroic and brave and had saved me from the most horrifying experience of my unlife? Well, those were pretty good reasons to be impressed, as I thought about it.
Ralph was a dork, yes, but he was a brave, loyal dork. And regardless of what he’d look like as a human – should I ever find out – that had to beat handsome, manly, evil hot guy. At least if a weregirl wanted a mate she could count on. Should said potential dorky mate pull through, of course.
My heart was hurting again, but I realized it was because I was afraid Ralph might dust and then I’d never get the chance to see how short I’d sold him for all these years. I tried not to think about all the times I’d let the exasperation with his loving, loyal interest show in my expression or voice.
