I swallowed the golf ball sized lump in my throat. “So it is.” I stared at the frog, my heart swelling.
“You’re my frog prince, Joe.”
“This is the best Christmas present I’ve ever gotten. I’ve never been called a prince before.” I chuckled. “Or a frog.”
“There’s a first time for everything,” Maggie said. “At least this is happening now, and not in high school. I can see it now…Joe Carlisle the Frog Prince.” She grinned. “Might not have won you many dates, but if we’d gone to school together, I would have totally dubbed you the frog prince. You would have hated me.”
“If you’d gone to high school with me I would have only cared if it won me a date with one girl.”
Silence filled the room at that moment, and I shifted awkwardly to retrieve the guitar leaning against the sofa. “I know you said you’d like to hear happy songs, but how ‘bout an honest one?”
Maggie nodded, although, her eyes drifted down.
I patted the cushion beside me. “Come sit down.”
She sat next to me, placed her hands in her lap, and rubbed them together. I sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. My fingers strummed the guitar and I began to sing…
“What day is it? And in what month? This clock never seemed so alive.”
Lifehouse’s ‘You and Me’ was the only thing that seemed appropriate for the moment.
I sang for her, to her. Through most of the song she kept her head down. On the chorus she looked up, her eyes glistening like stars, her lips mouthing the words I sang…
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you…
She was beautiful, and perfect. God, how I wanted her to be mine.
“I’ll never get used to this,” Maggie whispered, chopped and breathy, tearing her eyes away from mine.
“Used to what?”
“You.” She stood, took a step back, and extended her arms between us, creating distance I didn’t want. “I’ll never get used to someone treating me the way you do.” She shook her head like she was trying to dislodge a memory or something.
I closed my eyes and tried to pull myself together. “Maggie,” I said, “it kills me to think that anyone would ever get a piece of you without appreciating what they were getting first.” I opened my eyes and pinned her with my stare, daring her to look away from me. “Don’t do it again. Don’t give away pieces of yourself to anyone who hasn’t earned them.”
Setting the guitar down, I stood and took a step forward to close the gap she’d created. “You need to get used to it. I don’t want to be just someone to you. I want to be the only one. And I promise you, Maggie Malone, if you let me, I’ll earn all of the pieces of you before I take a single one.”
“You’re too late.”
My heart felt like it had been dropped kicked across the fucking room. “Don’t say that. Don’t say I’m too late.” I inched closer and cupped her face in my palms.
“I meant that you’ve already earned pieces of me.”
“What pieces?”
She looked up at me with teary eyes. “All of them.”
“All of them,” I repeated so low and so soft I couldn’t be sure she even heard me. “Well, that’s definitely a good start.”
“You can kiss me now,” she murmured.
“Now, there you go again being bossy.”
“Or I could kiss you.”
“Well, now you’re just trying to be dominating.”
“You can be quite exasperating sometimes.”
“You can be quite perfect, all the time.” I leaned in, pressed my lips to hers, and whispered over them. “I am your soft place to land, sweetheart.”
Maggie gasped, and time stood still. That precious commodity that was slipping through my fingers seemed to pause just for us. I let the rest of the world fall away. “I have something for you too,” I breathed in her ear. Inside my pocket was a flat shiny piece of silver. I pulled it out, opened her hand, and set it in her palm. “I didn’t know what to get you for Christmas. Everything I saw in the stores didn’t seem right or good enough. I’ve had this since I was a little boy. It was my grandmother’s. She gave it to me right before she passed away; told me that one day I’d want to give it to someone special. It’s sort of been my good luck charm. Now I want you to have it.”
Maggie looked at the silver piece in her hand with questioning eyes. “It’s a –”
“Heart,” I finished for her, while folding her fingers around it.
A tear fell from Maggie’s eye, and then another. She clutched her closed palm to her chest. “Thank you, Joe.”
I kissed each tear, scooped her up into my arms, and carried her to my room, staring into her eyes the whole way. I laid her down and hovered over her.
“You’re so beautiful, Maggie.” I placed my hand over her heart. “And this is the most beautiful part of you.” My lips touched hers, slow and tentative. Maggie hummed and moaned, wrapping her hands around my head. Behind the kiss was love, passion, desire, and ultimately, fear. I didn’t want Maggie to be afraid of me, of losing herself in us. The pace of the kiss quickened. I was determined to make this moment last as long as possible, to help her trust me and what we were feeling. Time was a bitch and not on my side, but this…this was something I would not allow time to dictate.
Maggie
Joe softly nibbled and kissed his way along my neck, tracing my jaw with his tongue. When he reached my ear he whispered, “I’m going to go slow, baby.” His breath against my skin caused goose bumps to break out across my arm and chest on that side.
His tongue continued to make little swirls along my skin, drawing a trail from my ear to my clavicle, and back up to my mouth. He licked my lips and then exhaled over them, causing a warm and oddly cooling sensation. He continued his sensual torture, moving down my body, nipping and kissing, sometimes licking in long languid sweeps. I became a blazing inferno and the longer Joe took his time to explore every single inch of me, the more I thought I would spontaneously combust.
“Joe,” I breathed.
“Hmm?”
“I need you. I need you now.”
Joe gradually made his way back up. We were face to face, breath to breath. He settled his hips between mine and rocked against me.
I moaned, my eyes fluttering closed.
Joe took both my hands in his and held them over my head while he moved over me. “You’re it for me, Maggie. No one else.” He kissed me deeply, slowly, madly. We were connected in every way two people could be connected – physically, emotionally, and mentally. I had never felt as close to another human being as I did to Joe in that moment. I could feel his heart pounding against mine, and with one more kiss something shattered inside me. That barrier, that protective layer with its tiny cracks and fissures shattered. My heart was completely open, completely exposed, and completely vulnerable. Did I say completely? Because I was, and I was also completely helpless to do anything about it. Joe claimed me as he made love to me, and now he owned me, mind, body, and soul. I was his.
Completely.
Joe
It turns out time really doesn’t stand still, because all I could hear in the kitchen while I made coffee was the damn clock on the wall, in a race against no one other than itself.
Tick…tick…tick.
I felt like I had gone from the highest high to the lowest low, without making any stops in between. The last thing I wanted to do today was send Maggie off on a fucking plane hundreds of miles away from me.
I rubbed the back of my neck while my brain tried to come up with ideas to keep her here. The doorbell rang though before I could come up with anything good. I walked to the door at a snail’s pace thinking that if I slowed down, maybe time would too.
“Coop, Lily, come on in. Maggie’s finishing up with her packing,” I said. “She’ll be out in a
minute.”
“Mind if I go back so we can have one last minute of girl time?” Lily asked.
“Of course not, Lily, go on back,” I said.
Lily started to walk past me, then paused, placing her hand on my shoulder. “You doing okay?”
“Yeah.” My voice came out hoarse and raspy. I cleared my throat and tried again. “I’m fine. I’m good.”
Lily looked at me with sad eyes, patted my shoulder, and then walked down the hallway.
“Want some coffee?” I asked Cooper.
“Sure.” Cooper followed me into the kitchen and took a seat on one of the bar stools. “You, uh, sure you’re okay? ‘Cause if Lily were getting on a plane to go back to Colorado I would be finding ways to keep her here.”
“What makes you think I haven’t?”
“Come up with anything?”
I shook my head. “Not yet. I’m still holding out hope there’ll be an ice storm or something that will shut down every airport between here and there.” I laughed humorlessly and handed Cooper his cup, then sipped from my own.
“Did you tell her?” Cooper asked.
“I didn’t actually say the words, but…” I looked away, and found something to concentrate on outside my kitchen window. A bird was hopping on the frozen ground, and that seemed as good a place to focus my attention as any. Neither one of us said anything for the next few minutes. What was there to say? I wasn’t in the mood to entertain, and Cooper understood where my mind was.
Tick…tick…tick… was the only sound between us for those few minutes.
I moved through the rest of the morning like I was about to walk the green mile. I was in no hurry to send Maggie away. Hayden, Beth, and Ms. Sophie had made sure to get their goodbyes in yesterday, so I at least didn’t have to share her with them today. I was going to look for a silver lining in anything I could, or else I would lose my damn mind.
The clock on the wall was telling me it was time to go, and for a moment it seemed perfectly logical to reach out and punch that fucking clock in the face. See? Losing my damned mind. It was happening already.
I set down my coffee mug without saying anything to Cooper and walked down the hall. I tapped lightly on the door. “Maggie, it’s time to go now.”
“Okay,” she sniffled. “We’ll be right out.”
Instead of walking back to the kitchen I ducked into my room and closed the door. I sat down on the edge of the bed, picked up the pillow Maggie had slept on, buried my face in it and inhaled her scent. I could feel myself coming apart at the seams and never in my life had I ever been so torn up over someone. I allowed a minute to pull myself together and then I got up, put my wallet in my back pocket, grabbed my keys, and headed out.
Maggie opened her door the same time I did, and both of us stopped where we stood. Lily walked out behind Maggie with her bag. “I’ll…uh…I’ll just wait with Cooper.”
I glanced quickly at Lily, gave her a slight nod, and refocused my eyes back on Maggie.
She gave me a little smile and wiped away a tear. “I wish I didn’t have to leave.”
We both took one step in the other’s direction and latched onto each other. I smoothed out her hair and she laid her face on my chest. “I wish you didn’t have to leave either. It’s fucking killing me.”
“It’s killing me too.”
“Don’t go.” The words were out before I could even think about it. “Stay here. With me.”
She sniffed and leaned back so she could look at me. “I can’t not go back home, Joe. I have a life there, although it doesn’t seem like much of one now. But, my job… I’ve got a photo shoot in two days…” She swiped at her face to catch the falling tears.
“Okay, we don’t have to figure this out right now. But you leaving…it doesn’t change anything for me, I want you to know that. I need you to know that. Last night, Maggie…” I held her face and made her look at me “…was everything to me. You are everything to me.”
She swallowed, and then nodded. She probably couldn’t talk right now if she wanted to. I was having a pretty hard time of it myself.
“Yeah,” I whispered, a non-spoken understanding of what was happening between us. I held her close to me and let her breath wisp across my skin. After another minute of holding on to each other I said quietly, “We have to go.”
We were at the airport. Five days ago I was happier than any man should be allowed. Now…not so much. I hated that I couldn’t walk her to the departure gate. I hated that I had to say goodbye to her before she went through security. I hated every damn thing about it.
We held hands. I carried her bag as we walked slowly to the point of no return. I was desperately trying not to cry in front of her. I could feel it bubbling up inside of me…and on the precipice of doing just that, I swallowed thickly. “Call me the minute you land. And then, I want you to call me the minute you get home. No strike that…call me the minute you get a cab, and then call me the minute you get home.”
Maggie gave me a salute. “Aye aye capt’n.”
“Thank you. Hey, what’s red and smells like blue paint?”
“I don’t know.”
“Red paint. What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?”
“I don’t know,” Maggie said, laughing.
“Dam!” and we both chuckled.
“One more before you go, Maggie.”
“Okay, Joe. Lay it on me.”
“Hey! Are you a parking ticket? Cause you’ve got FINE written all over you!”
That did it and she burst into laughter. God I loved hearing her laugh, watching her face light up like that, it was like medicine to a sick soul.
She glanced toward the security area. This was it. The end of the line. The moment I’d been dreading had finally arrived.
I pulled her into me one last time and held her as tightly as I could without hurting her. “God, I’m missing you already,” I breathed out.
“Me too,” she whispered.
I let go of the hold I had around her and handed the bag to her. “Remember, the minute you land,” I reminded her.
“The minute I land,” she repeated. The sparkle in her eyes was gone. I wondered if my eyes looked as sad as hers. She turned and got in line to go through security.
I stood in the same spot, refusing to move for anyone. People were rushing by this way and that way, and I couldn’t make my feet move a single step in the opposite direction, not while I could still see her from where I was.
All at once it was like someone punched me in the gut. I realized I never told her I loved her. My heart sped up and I moved a couple of steps forward. I couldn’t go any further than that. I could still see her though, on the other side of the security gates.
I cupped my hands around my mouth and yelled, “Maggie!” I waited for her to turn around unsure whether she had heard me so I called again, a little louder this time. “Maggie!”
She looked up, and I could see her standing on her tiptoes to peer over people’s heads. “Yes?” she yelled back.
People were starting to stare. I didn’t give a shit. I smiled the biggest smile I had all day. “I love you!” I put my hands inside my front pockets, and shrugged. “I love you, Maggie!”
Maggie
I had just walked through the metal detector and was retrieving my belongings from the bin at the end of the conveyor belt when I heard Joe’s voice. I tried to make eye contact, but the people behind me were surging forward like some great wave, forcing me to turn and stumble forward. Everyone seemed to be in such a big hurry all of a sudden.
Wait. What did he say?!?
I, however, needed everything and everyone around me to stop so I could actually verify that I heard what I thought I heard and the only way to do that would be to actually look back and make eye contact with Joe. Instead, the fast-forward button had been pushed and crowds of people zigged and zagged around me at a rapid pace. It didn’t help that the floor angled downward in ramp form as you headed to the gates
. I tiptoed and staggered backward awkwardly with my carry-on attempting to see his face over the crowd.
I saw him! He had moved a couple of feet to the left where the crowd was thinnest and held his hand up in an awkward goodbye wave. I noticed that he also wore a goofy half-smile and looked amused at my futile attempt to seek him out, but his eyes…there was something being communicated from those cobalt blue eyes that buried every sliver of doubt. I heard him right, I love you, Maggie! Although I had only briefly met his eyes across the great sea of humanity swirling between us, I could definitely see it in his eyes. He loved me. My heart rate immediately doubled and then tripled. I felt something deep inside of me yearning for him. Yearning…yes that was the perfect word for what I felt. Is this what people meant when they said they had found their soul mate? I was unfamiliar with the place this feeling was coming from, so I could only assume it was my soul. It felt like something inside me was reaching toward Joe with invisible arms, and I was compelled to run back to him. But I had a plane to catch.
I couldn’t speak. I wanted to say it back, to yell across the distance that I loved him too. My vocal chords were paralyzed by the lump of emotion that embedded itself at the base of my throat, not that he could have heard me, even if I hadn’t been crippled by the sudden surge of whatever this was. We were too far apart now, so I threw my arm up and waved, smiling back at him, hoping my eyes conveyed to him that I felt the same way. I was jolted by a woman rushing by who bumped into my right arm and so I turned and made myself move forward. Glancing down at my ticket, I tried to focus on the immediate task at hand – finding Gate 3B, however, my mind and my heart teamed up and the only thing I could focus on was Joe’s departing words. I kept looking back over my shoulder and he hadn’t moved. He stood there, on his tiptoes now, hands shoved in his front pockets, watching me walk away. I refused to allow myself to look back toward the security area anymore. I would never get on this plane if I looked back again. Once I had found a seat among the other passengers in the waiting area, I convinced myself I was thirsty and walked to the water fountain on the other side. I snuck a glance back up the ramp toward security and Joe was gone. I felt sadness in the pit of my stomach, yet my heart was overflowing with joy.
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