by Joanna Wylde
Shade must’ve been reading the messages upside down, because he laughed.
Me: so i hear. coming home soon
I looked at Shade, stiffening my spine.
“Okay, so you’ve heard the story, we’ve finished our one-night stand, we’ve finished the bonus barbecue, and now it’s time for me to go to work,” I said. “It’s been fun.”
“Great. I’ll wait while you get ready and run you over to the Pit,” Shade told me, patting the back of his bike. “Hop on. I can’t stick around tonight because I gotta go back to the clubhouse, but I’ll be in touch. Bone will change your work schedule if I need him to.”
“Um, weren’t you listening?” I asked. “I have to stay single. Otherwise, you’ll destroy my life. It’s my destiny.”
Shade reached out, hooking his fingers into my waistband, then pulled me close.
“I didn’t ask you to marry me,” he said seriously, catching and holding my gaze. “And I promise, I have no plans to. But we aren’t done fuckin’.”
Oh, God, I wished that could be true. But there’d been my dad, Trevor, Rebel, Randy and so many others. “I’m sorry, but I just can’t afford to take the chance on a guy right now.”
Shade studied me, then nodded. “Okay, so we’ll just have another one-night stand.”
“But they’re only one night—that’s the definition.”
“Yeah, and they don’t include afternoon barbecues, but we managed to survive one, didn’t we? So we’ll just fuck again. No relationships. I promise.”
It really would be nice. And I was already setting Future Me up for a win by finishing out my probation.
Yes, you are, said Wonder Woman approvingly. Future You is a very lucky girl.
“All right. We can have sex again, but there won’t be any relationship bullshit. You need a getaway driver, call someone else. Dopey. You should call Dopey. He’s a decent guy, even if he is nosy.”
“I’ll be sure to tell him that,” Shade said, cracking a smile.
Chapter Fifteen
I slept in the next morning, or at least as much as I could with three little girls sitting on me while they watched cartoons. It was Sunday and Hannah was making pancakes.
That meant she wanted to ask me a favor. I had a massive weakness for pancakes and we both knew it.
Just to spite her, I pretended not to notice until she literally waved them under my nose. Then it was all over because she’d put in chocolate chips. Whatever she wanted me to do, she felt strongly about it—those were the big guns. Half an hour later I sat at the counter, watching as she dried the dishes. Usually, whoever cooked didn’t have to clean, which raised the stakes even more.
“Okay, spit it out,” I said, waiting until she was done. That way if I told her no she couldn’t stick me with kitchen duty, because that’s what sisters do to each other.
“What?” Hannah asked, all innocence.
“Just tell me what the favor is. You wouldn’t have pulled out the chocolate chips if wasn’t a big deal to you… But it’s also something that you think I might say no to, which means it’s technically optional. Otherwise you wouldn’t bother sucking up so hard. It’s about Heath, isn’t it?”
Hannah dropped the innocent act and put both hands on the counter, leaning across the faded laminate toward me.
“He asked me out on a date,” she said in a hushed tone. “Like, a real date. Oh, don’t look at me like that. It wasn’t the police department’s fault you got arrested and thrown into jail. They were just there to finish what Trevor started. And Heath is cute—really cute. Not only that, he’s stable and nice and doesn’t do drugs. He’s a volunteer baseball coach, for God’s sake. What more do you want?”
“I hate it when you’re all reasonable and expect me to be reasonable, too. It’s not fair.”
“Whatever. Will you watch the girls or not?” she asked, crossing her arms and glaring at me.
“Ha! I knew you couldn’t keep up the nice act,” I replied, sticking out my tongue. She stuck hers out back at me. “But yeah, I’ll watch the kids. When?”
“Tonight,” she said. “It’s the only day this week that neither of us have to work. More like this afternoon, really. He wants to go on a picnic, maybe watch the sunset from the butte.”
“Bullshit. He wants to go park somewhere and make out with you.”
Hannah blushed fiercely as I waved my finger in disapproval.
“Men are the enemy, remember?”
“Says the girl who came home at five in the afternoon, delivered by a strange biker. Don’t be such a hypocrite. Anyway, I never said anything about staying away from men. That was you. Just because things didn’t work out with Randy doesn’t mean they can’t with someone else.”
“This kind of attitude might be why Mom was married five times,” I pointed out.
“Well, if she’d stuck with my dad, she’d never have met yours, and then I wouldn’t have a sister,” Hannah replied. “It’s just one date. Will you let me have this? Please?”
I sighed melodramatically and then nodded at her. “Okay, you can go out with Heath… But I’ll expect you back by dark or I’ll have to ground you.”
Hannah gave the children a quick glance to make sure they were still watching TV, then flipped me off. My phone buzzed before I could retaliate.
Shade: Hey—you busy today? Another one-night stand might be nice… Technically we never finished the first one. You didn’t get breakfast
I looked at Hannah, holding the phone up so she could read it.
“Please don’t bail on me!” she said, eyes wide. “I’ll do your laundry.”
“I’m listening,” I told her, although we both knew I’d keep my promise no matter what. We only had each other to rely on, so we had to be damned reliable.
“Um…and I’ll sleep on the couch. You can have the whole bedroom to yourself tonight.”
“You’re just saying that so you can sneak in super late and I won’t know.”
“Well, yeah.”
I snorted, turning back to my phone.
Me: Sorry. My stupid sister wants to go on a stupid date and get laid by the stupid cop. I need to babysit
This was where—in the John Hughes movie version of my life—Shade would’ve offered to come over and help watch the kids. He’d bring a pizza. Then they’d take their naps and we’d kiss across a coffee table or something.
Of course, that’s the kind of thing that boyfriends did.
Shade: Ok. You work tomorrow night?
Me: Dont know. Bone does the schedule on sunday afternoons.
Shade: I’ll talk to him. Make sure he leaves some time for us
Me: I need those shifts to pay the bills. Keep your nose out of it. Your just a guy I had sex with
Shade: Keep telling yourself that. I’ll talk to bone
“Looks like lover boy wants more of that sweet McBride action,” Hannah said, sticking her finger in her mouth and poking the side of her cheek out with her tongue in the universal symbol for blow job.
“You’re disgusting.”
She leaned closer. “You’re horny—I can smell it on you. Just don’t forget to make him work for it.”
“I’m not making him work for anything. It really was just a one-night stand. I’m sworn off men, remember?”
“Yeah, right,” Hannah said. “Sell your shit to someone else. I saw the way you two looked at each other when he brought you home. You’re not done yet.”
Ignoring her, I stared down at Shade’s message, trying to decide how to answer… Should I take a stand or just wait and see what happened? I waited for Wonder Woman to speak up and tell me, but she wasn’t talking.
Fuck it.
I’d let it go and see what happened. Future Me was a smart girl. She’d figure it out.
Sure enough, Hannah and Heath hadn’t come home by the time it started getting dark. I’d taken the kids down to the park after dinner and run them hard, then threw all three of them into the tub together and read them the Berenstain
Bears while they splashed around.
A second bear story got us through bedtime. I tucked them in, then grabbed a beer and the TV remote, hoping Hannah was having a good time. She was right about one thing—Heath really did seem like one of the good ones.
He’d brought flowers when he picked her up.
For me.
Said he wanted to thank me for watching the kids so he could take her out. I’m not saying I melted into a little puddle of warm goo or anything, but a girl’s just not natural if she doesn’t love fresh flowers.
I’d made it through both my second beer and a second episode of the Kardashians when my phone buzzed.
Shade: Hows it going?
Me: I’m drinkng alone in the dark and watching the kardashians.
Shade: ouch
Me: No kidding. They don’t even work for a living. Why do they get to wear shiny stuff and travel all over while I have to wait tables?
Shade: Well the fact that the $500 I gave you as a tip is still sitting in Bones office might be part of the problem. If your goal is money then you’re doing it wrong
He made a good point. I looked around the room, thinking of all the things we could do with five hundred bucks. I’d start with a new couch, I decided. I could probably find one on Craigslist for less than two hundred. Preferably one that didn’t still smell faintly of the disgusting AXE body spray Randy loved so much.
We could really use a new table, too. Or a new TV—ours had a blue band on the left side, running right through the picture. I took another drink. If I had to be honest, everything in the whole damned house needed replacing. The girls had a decent bed, of course. And we kept it as clean as we could. But the trailer was old and faded and there was a strange smell in the bathroom that never quite went away…
To hell with new furniture—we needed a new house. Five hundred bucks wouldn’t make a dent. Depressing.
Me: I’m bored. What are you doing?
Shade: I’m at the bar. Bone has been glaring at me all night because I told him you can’t work tomorrow
Me: We already covered this. I’m going in to work. New topic
Shade: What are you wearing?
Me: Clothes. You?
Shade: I’m in a bar. What do you think?
Me: A fancy dress with lots and lots of ribbons
Shade: Sure, it’s red with black lace. And underneath it is super sexy lingerie. Now tell me what’s under your clothes…
I snickered. Had to give him credit—the guy never gave up. Pushing myself off the couch, I went over to the girls’ door and peeked in. All three of them were sound asleep, the pink glow of the night-light bathing their little faces. Then I walked into the kitchen and grabbed another beer before going into Hannah’s room. She’d said I could have the bed that night and I planned to take her up on it.
Setting the beer down, I unbuttoned my jeans and pushed them down, grabbing a pair of sleep shorts out of the laundry basket. Then I slid my arms into my shirt and reached around behind to unhook the bra. Feeling lazy, I let it fall to the floor before climbing into the bed and propping myself up against the pillows.
The phone buzzed again.
Shade: Waiting
Me: I just took off my bra and got into bed
Shade: Tell me more
Me: About what?
Shade: Tell me what else you took off or I’ll come and see for myself. I could be there in five minutes
Oh, shit. Would he really come here? Of course he would. Shade didn’t do the whole boundaries thing. He didn’t do shame, either. He wasn’t the kind of guy to show up with pizza while you’re babysitting, but he’d make a booty call after the kids went to sleep. I’d bet money on it.
Me: Bad idea
Shade: Talk to me then
Me: I’m wearing sleep shorts and a T-shirt. Not sexy at all
Shade: Nope, definitely not sexy. You should take them off. Much sexier
I laughed despite myself, then took a deep drink of the beer. Warmth settled into my stomach, and I scooted lower into the bed.
Me: I’m leaving them on, but I’m sliding my hand down into my shorts.
Shade: Touch yourself. You wet?
A tingle of awareness rushed through me. I shivered.
Me: where does phone sex fall in terms of one night stands?
Shade: Phone sex doesn’t count. But think how much fun it’d be if you didn’t have to type everything. Call me.
Calling was probably a bad idea, I thought.
He’s right, though, Wonder Woman said. Phone sex doesn’t count. Everyone knows that.
Hmmm…she probably knew what she was talking about, right? I mean, she was a demi-goddess. I killed the rest of my beer, found his name in my contact list and hit the dial button.
“Mandy,” he said, that low, gritty voice of his sending shivers through me just like it had the first time I’d heard it. “Wasn’t sure you’d call.”
I heard the noise of the bar in the background, but it was getting softer. Like he was walking away.
“Where are you?” I asked.
“Just stepped outside,” he said. “Heading around the back of the building. I like the picnic table there. Fond memories.”
My cheeks grew warm. It was a nice table—hadn’t left a single splinter in my ass, even though we’d been going at it hardcore. God, I was such a slut.
“So, you never answered the question,” he said.
“What question?”
“Are you wet for me?”
I slid my hand down, under the covers and into my pants.
“Yeah, I am.”
“Christ, I’d love to be there eating you out right now. You got a real cute little clit—did you know that? If I was there, I’d start by flicking it with my tongue. Use your fingers and tell me what it feels like.”
I closed my eyes, relaxing back as I touched the little nub.
“It’s slippery,” I said, sliding from my clit down to my opening, then swiping back up again. My lower body tightened, and while it wasn’t as good as him being there, just the sound of his voice made me hot.
“You’re tight,” he told me. “I knew it’d be good, but when I first got inside, I thought I might die. You were so damned tight. Squeezing me.”
“I love the feel of it…”
“Of what?” he said. “I want all the details.”
“Your cock,” I said hesitantly, fingers moving faster as the tension started to build. “When you first—”
“Auntie Mandy?” Callie stuck her head through door. I jerked my hand out of my pants, heart racing.
“What is it, baby?” I asked, fumbling with the phone.
“I found something in the bathroom,” she replied, turning on the light. My eyes flooded from the sudden glare. I blinked as the little girl walked across the small room, holding something out to me. A baggie. “It’s one of Daddy’s secrets.”
My eyes widened and I sat up, forgetting all about Shade. Callie handed it to me, looking scared. The bag held a handful of white crystal rocks. Holy shit… Was that what I thought it was? Meth. That was meth. Had to be. I was holding a bag of Goddamn meth—a bag delivered by a five-year-old child.
“Motherfucker…” I whispered, and Callie frowned.
“That’s a Daddy word,” she told me. “Mommy says we should never say it.”
I raised my eyes from the bag to look at her, feeling sick. “You said this was Daddy’s secret. Does that mean Mommy doesn’t know about it?”
Callie squirmed and looked away. “I’m not supposed to tell, but Daddy said that if I ever found more of it, I needed to give it to him right away. Not Mommy. You know, so the twins don’t try to eat it again. But he’s not here and I’m worried. He said it could kill them.”
Taking a deep breath, I set the bag carefully on the side table. That was when I realized the phone was still on. I reached for it and hung up on Shade. Hopefully he hadn’t heard anything, but if he had, I’d deal with it later. Right now I needed to
focus on Callie.
“It’s good that you told someone,” I said slowly. “You said that you’re supposed to tell him if you find more so the twins don’t try to eat it again. Does that mean they’ve tried to eat it before, baby?”
Callie’s eyes started to water and she looked away.
Fuck. This was real. This was really happening. Fucking fuck fuck!
“It’s okay to talk to me,” I said, catching her little hand. It was cold, with just a hint of a tremor. The poor kid was terrified. “This is important, Callie. Talking about it is the right thing to do. You know how there are good secrets and bad secrets?”
“Yes, like people touching my privates,” she whispered. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her up and onto my lap.
“This is one of those bad secrets, baby girl. Even if Daddy said not to talk about it, he was wrong. You need to tell me everything, so we can be sure you and your sisters are safe. When have you seen something like this before?”
“Sometimes Daddy and his friends…” she whispered. “When Mommy’s at work, sometimes they had stuff like this. And one time I found the twins playing with some. They thought it was candy but I yelled at them and they stopped. Daddy ran in and took it away from them. He said not to tell Mommy, that it was important because we’d all get in really big trouble.”
That motherfucking asshole.
I couldn’t believe this was happening. I knew Randy was scum, but leaving meth where his babies could eat it? What the fuck? And how the hell had Hannah let things get this far?
“And did you ever share the secret with Mommy?” I asked her, wondering what I’d do if she said yes. If my sister had knowingly allowed this to continue… No. She wouldn’t. Not Hannah. She’d slit his throat before she let him put the girls in this kind of danger. I had to believe that.
“No,” Callie said, sniffing. Holding her tight, I started rocking her softly, rubbing her hair. “I didn’t want Daddy to yell at me. It was really scary and his friends were mean, too. One of them made me sit on his lap. Then he took away my Lambie. He said I’d only get it back if I kept the secret. I’m scared he’ll come back, Auntie Mandy.”
