Shouldn't Be

by Silvey, Melissa

  “I think they’ll love you.” She honestly couldn’t think of a reason her parents would not like him. He came from a good family. He had a good, stable career. He could take care of her. And, from all the evidence she had, he really liked her.

  “I think it’s time to get dressed,” he said. The sun hung low in the sky, creating a striking sunset over the river.

  “Or undressed?” she purred. “How fast can you…”

  “Kaity, you are insatiable,” he giggled as he kissed her. “And I love that about you.” He picked her up and carried her inside. He quickly undressed her, as if it was a challenge, and kissed her breasts and her nipples. He always made sure she was as ready for him as he was for her.

  When he pulled the condom out of his pocket she gazed up at him, a little stunned at the thoughts running through her head. He wanted to meet her parents. He was ready for a commitment. He really wanted her. She almost asked him to put the condom away… almost.

  Chapter Ten

  He only had eyes for the beautiful, sexy, stunning red head in the short black dress. She sat close enough that he could watch every time she crossed her legs, which drove him crazy. They’d had a quickie before they left for the bar, and he still wanted her. She smiled brightly and clapped loudly when he finished a song; which he sang for her. She filled his thoughts. If they weren’t together, he was thinking about being with her. If they were at work, he was wishing she was in his bed. And when she was in his bed, he wished she would stay there forever.

  Was it too soon to say he loved her? He might not speak the words just yet, but he definitely sang them to her. He wanted her to know that he meant it. He wanted her to understand how he felt. He would tell her that night, he decided. He’d tell her he loved her, while they were in his bed. And then the next day she’d be smiling and happy when he met her parents. She’d ask her mother to go to the restroom, so they could be alone, and Kaitlyn would share the news with her.

  He grinned at her from the stage. He could barely believe she’d be going home with him. It had taken long enough to finally get her there. A waitress brought him a jack and coke, and he tipped it to Kaitlyn before he took a sip. She was incredible, everything he could ever want.

  * * *

  Kaitlyn noticed how he gazed at her while he sang about love. She had to admit, she was close to saying the words herself. She knew she was supposed to wait for him to say it, but it was getting harder and harder. She had never felt that way before, and she certainly didn’t feel that same urgency with Alex. But with Ruben, she was ready.

  He finished the set to applause, and put away his guitar. Kaity smiled as he walked toward her. She felt her heart burst as he came closer. He had made her feel so much, just him coming near her made her muscles clench.

  She hopped down off the stool and moved toward him. She watched as he extended his hand to her, his guitar case over his shoulder. “Let’s get out of here,” he said.

  “Ruben.” They both turned toward the female voice. Kaity looked a little surprised, but Ruben looked upset. Kaity glanced toward him briefly before turning back toward the woman.

  She was gorgeous. Her hair was a soft caramel brown, with expertly placed blonde highlights. Her eyes were an exotic almond shape. Her skin was an olive tone, lighter than Ruben’s, and her make-up looked artistically applied. Kaity could do nothing more than stare.

  “Mara, this isn’t the time,” Ruben said, but he moved imperceptibly away from Kaitlyn.

  But Kaitlyn noticed, and gave him her full attention. “What’s going on Ben?” she implored.

  “Hi, I’m Mara,” the beautiful woman said, as she offered her hand to Kaitlyn. “I’m Ruben’s fiancée.”

  “You’re what?” Kaitlyn’s voice was about three octaves higher than normal as she glared at Ben. “What the hell?”

  “I’ll explain later,” he said calmly, but his knees were shaking.

  “Please, explain now,” Mara said coolly. She flicked her hair away from her perfect face with her left hand, and Kaity got a good view of her ring. It was a huge, round diamond. It was big, but it wasn’t fancy or stylish.

  “Kaity, it’s,” he started, but he couldn’t say anything.

  “Surely you can do better than that, counselor,” Mara taunted.

  “I was going to tell you,” he stuttered.

  “Ben,” she gasped. Mara seemed extremely pleased with herself. Kaity turned quickly and ran out the door.

  * * *

  “Bitch,” Ben growled, before he chased after Kaity. He was right outside the door when he saw her climb into a cab. He threw his hands up in the air, and swore at the sky.

  “What were you thinking, Ruben? Did you think I wouldn’t find out?” Mara said from behind him. “Did you think that you could just date someone else, and there would be no repercussions?”

  “You know I don’t love you, Mara,” he stated. “You know the only reason I asked you to marry me, was because my parents and your mother wanted us together.”

  “I don’t really care why you proposed. All I know is I’m wearing your ring, and we’re getting married.” The expression on her gorgeous face was smug and cocky. “Your new girlfriend won’t have you now anyway.”

  “I’m not going to marry you. I’ve already informed my father,” he countered. “I don’t care if she never speaks to me again. I know what love is now, Mara, and it’s not what we have.”

  “You’ll be back, Ruben. You aren’t going to marry anyone but me,” she stated with self-assurance.

  “Go to hell,” he said as he climbed into his car.

  He drove toward Kaity’s apartment, but realized that he didn’t know the code for the day. He called her from his car, but she didn’t answer. He pulled right up to the gate and continued to call, but she still didn’t answer.

  He decided to leave a message, and beg her to see him so that he could explain. But what could he say? Sorry I was engaged to someone else, but I did break it off with her and I’ll never see her again? He said that exactly, but he felt it wasn’t good enough for Kaitlyn. He needed to say more. “Just please see me and I’ll explain.”

  * * *

  Kaity couldn’t cry herself to sleep. She knew she would have to see her parents the next morning, and she thought her mom would probably know something was wrong as soon as she saw her daughter. But that didn’t stop her tears. She listened to Ben’s message, but after she heard it, she turned off her phone.

  She should have known he was too perfect. What guy is that good-looking, talented, and rich, and was still single? She should have known that he was just too good to be true.

  She would be stuck with Alex forever. She would spend her life with someone who bored her, who she couldn’t have a conversation with, who she never wanted to have sex with again.

  She climbed out of her bed and paced around her bedroom. She fought the urge to call him. She wouldn’t. She refused. She decided to clean her apartment at eleven-thirty p.m. It sounded like a good idea.

  * * *

  “You told Mara I was seeing someone, didn’t you?” he asked, interrupting his dad’s golf game, and he didn’t care.

  “Ruben, I’m playing with the mayor,” his father said hastily. “We’ll talk about this later.”

  “We’ll talk about this right now,” Ruben demanded. His hazel eyes flared green as he spoke.

  Levi waved to his group, and they all gathered in the cart and drove toward the next tee. Levi and Ruben followed after them in another cart.

  “Yes, I told Mara. She needed to know. She’s still willing to marry you, by the way,” Levi stated. “Everything will be fine.”

  “That’s not fine!” Ruben yelled. “Why would she still want to marry me, knowing I’m in love with someone else? It doesn’t make sense!”

  “I want this marriage to take place, and damn it Ruben, if it doesn’t I’ll be very unhappy.”

  “You know what? I don’t give a fuck if you’re unhappy. You have no right to tell
me how to live my life, after you nearly died while fucking your mistress.” Ruben stopped the cart and got out. “Fuck you, your hypocrisy, and your money! I refuse to live my life like you did.” He watched as his father climbed into the driver’s seat, then continued toward the next tee.

  Levi didn’t stop. He didn’t even acknowledge his son’s outburst. Ruben returned to his car, and tried to call Kaitlyn again.

  * * *

  Kaitlyn ignored her phone, even though she could hear it vibrating in her purse. Her mother rambled on about the food, a new casserole recipe she’d found online, and how her hot flashes had increased at night. Kaity tried to smile at the appropriate times, but the hurt she felt seeped in. She felt it deep in her heart. She couldn’t get the images from the evening before out of her head. Ben stepped away from her when the other girl arrived, as if to distance himself from her. Then the other girl proudly displayed the obscenely big ring on her finger. Kaity just wished she wasn’t so damn pretty.

  “I’m not hungry,” she said, and pushed her plate away.

  “What’s wrong, baby?” her father asked. Kaitlyn just shrugged and wrapped her arms around herself.

  “Is it that boy?” Kaity instantly regretted telling her mother about Ben. She rolled her eyes and refused to answer.

  “What boy? Alex?” Everett Morgan seemed to realize he’d missed out on something.

  “No, Ben Aronson,” Sarah stated.

  “Is she dating her boss?” Everett seemed completely perplexed.

  “The boss’s son,” Sarah corrected him.

  “Can we please stop talking about Ben?” Kaitlyn snapped.

  “Then tell us what’s wrong,” Everett pleaded.

  “He’s engaged,” Kaitlyn sobbed. She didn’t mean to start crying, again. It just happened. “I met his fiancée last night.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry, dear,” Sarah soothed, as she wiped her daughter’s cheek with her cloth napkin.

  “You’re young, baby. You’ll find the right man eventually,” Everett said with resolve. “There’s plenty of fish in the sea.”

  “I don’t want fish,” Kaitlyn groaned. “I want Ben!” She squeaked the legs of the chair against the floor as she stood up and ran toward the exit.

  Sarah went after her. “Are you okay to drive?”

  “Of course,” Kaity said as she arrived at her car. “I’m fine. I’ll be fine.”

  She said it, but all she could think about during her drive back to her apartment, was the moment she had to face him at the office the next morning.

  Chapter Eleven

  Ben’s phone rang, and when the caller ID said the caller was his mother, he said aloud, “Answer.” His car’s blue tooth answered the call, and he said, “Hello, mother.”

  “Ruben, dear, why did you upset your father? You know it’s not good for his heart.” His mother sounded as if she was admonishing him, for getting angry at his father for having an affair. “Why don’t you just marry Mara like we’ve planned?”

  “Because I don’t love her, mother. I never have, and I never will.”

  “Can’t you learn to love her?” Surely his mother wasn’t that naive.

  “I know you love father, I know you do. You’ve been with him a very long time. But you know he’s seeing someone else. You know he has a mistress.” He’d tried to sound patient, but he’d reached his limit. “What I really want to know is, why are you still with him?”

  “Because I’ve always been with him,” his mother answered.

  “That’s not a good enough reason,” Ruben counted. “I love you mother. I really do. I need to go. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  He sighed heavily after he hung up the phone.

  * * *

  Kaitlyn almost expected to find Ben waiting in her parking spot, which was a perk of her new job. He wasn’t waiting on her, and she didn’t see his flashy sports car in his parking spot. For all the time she spent dreading seeing him, the thought of not seeing him was almost worse. She moped as she made her way toward her office. She glanced toward his office, but it was empty and dark.

  She sat at her desk and listened for him to enter for several minutes, but was disappointed. She grabbed a file and carried it to the couch. After each paragraph she read she looked up, expecting to find him in her doorway. But he didn’t appear. She noticed her coffee cup was empty, and she needed to stretch, so she walked to the break room. She wasn’t gone five minutes, but when she returned, he stood in the middle of her office. She almost dropped her full mug.

  He held a huge bouquet of roses, at least three dozen. He wore his faded jeans and a soft cotton shirt. She bit her bottom lip, not at all sure what she should say. She wanted to tell him to leave, and she wanted to beg him to stay.

  “I resigned,” he said, and took a step closer.

  “You did what? Why?”

  “My dad threatened to disown me if I didn’t marry Mara.” She couldn’t hide the confusion she felt. Her eyes grew wide with it. “And the last thing he wants is for me to marry a shiksa.”

  “What does that mean?” she finally demanded.

  “A non-Jewish woman,” he told her after several moments. She could see he didn’t want to say it. He had teasingly called her that before.

  “What’s wrong with Christians?”

  “Nothing,” he said immediately, and took another step closer. “It’s complicated.”

  “I’m smart. Explain it.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest. She felt more determined than anything else. It didn’t even hurt now, now that she was finally getting to the bottom of it.

  “Jews pass on their religion maternally. It doesn’t matter what religion or race the father is, if the mother is a Jew, then her babies are also Jewish.” He sounded uncomfortable saying it.

  No less uncomfortable than she felt hearing it. “So if a Jewish man marries a non-Jewish woman.”

  She stopped and he nodded. “Shiksa.”

  “A shiksa,” she spoke the word, and felt it on her tongue. “It sounds like an insult.”

  “Only half,” he said with a smirk.

  “Then their babies aren’t Jewish.” She frowned. “That just doesn’t make any sense.”

  “There are several explanations for it, which all make sense if you think about it,” he said with a shrug.

  “Why can’t you just let the kid decide?”

  “There’s a lot of education that goes into it, before the bar mitzvah. It’s-“

  She held her hand up and stopped him. “What does this have to do with me?”

  “I told my dad I wanted to break up with Mara, because I am in love with you.”

  “Oh.” It was all she could say.

  “And I brought you this,” he said, as he handed the bouquet to her.

  “Thanks,” she said, but she didn’t take them. “This doesn’t make up for you not telling me about your fiancée.”

  “Look closer,” he said.

  Inside one of the open blooms she found a beautiful, elegant ring. The stone was red and shaped like a heart, on a thin platinum band.

  “I’m really sorry about Mara. I should have told you. I guess I was afraid.” He bent down on one knee as he said it. “I can’t stay here. I have a non-compete clause in my contract, and so do you.”

  She drew her lips together tightly. She knew if she said the wrong thing just then it would be disastrous.

  “I want you to come with me. Marry me, and come to New York.”

  Her eyebrows came together at the bridge of her nose to emphasize her frown. She’d never wanted to go to New York. She didn’t want to live in a big city. Richmond was plenty big enough for her.

  “Boston?” he wondered. She didn’t respond. “Paris? Berlin?”

  “Why do we have to leave here? It’s my home.” She tried not to sound disparaging, but her voice sounded much too high even to her own ears. Her hand went up to cover her mouth.

  “How about we talk about it over dinner tonight,” he suggested. Then
he took the ring out of the rose, and offered it to her.

  Her first instinct was to flinch away from it, but she knew if she did, he would be very hurt. She looked down into his hopeful hazel eyes, and beautiful face surrounded by dark curls, and knew she couldn’t break his heart.

  But she also couldn’t say yes to a man she’d just met. She didn’t even know his middle name, or his favorite color, or how he liked his eggs. She thought she’d have all the time in the world to get to know him. And now…

  “Think about it?” he asked, as he slipped the ring on her finger.

  She didn’t say no. And she didn’t say yes. But she did nod silently.

  “Meet me at my apartment after work, and I’ll take you to dinner.”

  “Okay,” she agreed. He looked so damn optimistic and confident as he handed her the roses, and stood up to kiss her lips gently. “Okay,” she said again after he kissed her. As she watched him walk out, he turned in the doorway and waved to her.

  * * *

  Ruben was surprised by the text he received from his sister. He’d made a few stops on his way home from the office, and was nearly there when his car’s Bluetooth service read the text. “I’m waiting at your condo.”

  He knew why. He just didn’t want to be the one to tell her. But he was already on his street, not forty yards from his house, and he could see his sister and her gaggle of kids in his front yard.

  “What is going on with Levi and Ruth?” Debora demanded, as she strode toward the garage. “Gila, don’t put dirt in your mouth!”

  Ruben sighed gratefully as he thought his sister hadn’t noticed what was in his car. But as he hit the button to close the garage door, he saw her staring into the back window. He rolled his eyes dejectedly, and quickly made his way to open the front door for his sister.

  “Are you already buying flowers for the wedding, and you haven’t sent out invitations?” she asked shrewdly. He had to have ten bouquets in the tiny space behind the seats. He shook his head and watched as three little dark heads swarmed into his house. Debora had decided to carry Gila, the youngest.