She’d seen very little of her neighbor. He’d kept busy down the road from her, and she’d stopped jogging past his house. It was surprising how easy it was to avoid each other.
But Sheri had accepted Lilly’s plea to help out, and that meant she’d decided to stop avoiding Pace. Since he and Cort had come up with this idea, seeing him was inevitable.
She’d thought she could handle it. Now, she was fighting her nerves, and it wasn’t all because of Pace. She hadn’t realized that the place would literally be swarming with kids. She had barely come in the front door when Lilly had waved her into the kitchen and set her to chopping onions. That was a good thing. At least she wasn’t having to deal with the kids one-on-one.
She wasn’t good with kids, had never pretended to be and wasn’t real certain kids were her calling. That didn’t mean she didn’t like kids. She did. It was just, well, they might ask her a question she didn’t have an answer to. Worse, what if she gave them the wrong answer? With her big mouth she could do irreparable damage. She wasn’t proud of that. After what she’d done to Pace she’d thought more than once that Lilly had lost her mind inviting her to be a helper on this shindig. There were plenty of others who would have been far better choices than her.
“Earth to Sheri. Are you in there?”
“Oh, sorry, I got lost thinking.” Sheri gave Lilly a sheepish grin while she rinsed her hands off.
“Sheri, please relax. I can’t believe how nervous you seem. I’ve been watching you, and every time that door opens you jump.”
Sheri started placing hot dogs on a large platter in preparation for the roast they were going to have as soon as the sun went down. She glanced around to make certain there was no one around to hear her. “To tell you the truth, kids make me nervous.”
Lilly’s eyes grew wide. “No way.”
“It’s true. See, I have a secret. I’m full of a lot of hot air. I rarely actually know what I’m talking about.”
“So you’re telling me that the snappy Sheri, with an answer for everything, has an Achilles’ heel?”
“If that’s what you call it. Yeah.”
Lilly paused in the middle of opening a package of buns and chuckled, her dark ringlets dancing. “So that’s why Lacy was grinning so big when she suggested I ask you to help me.”
“So that’s how you chose me. I’ve been had. The way I see it, a kid’s brain is a terrible thing to waste, and I’d hate to be wasteful when any and all advice I give is basically a salad toss.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?”
“It means I don’t have the instinct that mothers have. It means that I have a goofed-up head myself, and I’d hate to pass that on to some poor unsuspecting kid.”
“Sheri, you are talking to the woman who was raised by a herd of man-hating grannies. If you want to hear some oddball advice then you’ve come to the right place. But you know what I’ve found out?”
“What?”
“That no one has all the right answers. You’ll be fine. Anyway, the two chaperones are here to watch out for them and answer any life-altering questions they may choose to spring on us. Our job is to provide meals and clean up.”
“Oh, that’s a relief.”
Lilly smiled. “I think that one of these days when you get married and have kids of your own you’ll be wonderful. You learn with them, you know.”
“I won’t have to worry about that. I’m not getting married. No kids of my own in my future.”
Lilly paused, holding the plastic bag of buns to her chest. “You can’t be serious?”
“Sure I can.”
Lilly looked at her as if she’d lost her mind. “But Sheri, you’d be great with kids. And Pace would be a great dad. I was watching him earlier, when he was introducing his horse to the group. They were mesmerized by him. Did you know his horse does the most amazing tricks?”
Sheri was speechless. She was relieved when the young girl burst out of the bathroom and raced past them, giving her a moment to collect her thoughts. The screen door slamming spurred Sheri out of her shock. “Lilly, I’m sure Pace will be a good father, if he chooses to marry and have kids one day. But me…we… There’s nothing there.” Where had Lilly been for the last three weeks?
“You are telling me that you don’t have an interest in that to-die-for cowboy out there in our round pen?”
Sheri laid the last dog on the platter very carefully. She couldn’t lie. She was done with all that so she spoke straightforwardly. “I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it. But it can’t ever happen. Please, please tell me this isn’t a setup—that the posse isn’t still scheming to get us together.”
Lilly turned pink. “Mmmm, well—they told me they’d hoped the two of you would work out whatever has come between you. They hoped this weekend might help you. But don’t get mad,” she added hurriedly. “They just want to fix things.”
Sheri started laughing. Truly, had she really expected any less?
“It doesn’t matter,” she said, her laughter dying away. “There is nothing between me and Pace,” she said as wistfulness rolled through her. “At least nothing of value, and the sooner the posse understands that the better.” She dropped the empty hot dog wrapper into the trash and let the lid drop with a thud.
There was nothing anyone could do. Pace Gentry was no fool. It was Sheri who had been the fool, and who knew that better than she did?
Chapter Twenty
Pace watched as the kids clamored around the picnic table with their straightened-out clothes hangers, hurrying to get their hot dog on the stick and join in the fun around the campfire. More like bonfire! Cort had built the thing so that it lit up the entire night sky as it burned. Standing in the shadows just out of reach of the glow, Pace searched for Sheri among the crowd. Coming up empty, he was surprised at the wave of disappointment that settled over him.
He’d kept busy in the weeks since he and Sheri had words. She’d stopped jogging past his place. Despite everything that had happened, he’d noticed her absence, and despite everything he’d missed her.
Glancing around at the kids he was amazed that he was here. When Cort had approached him to help with some weekend youth retreats that he’d set up, Pace had thought he’d lost his mind. Cort had pressed him, convinced that Pace would be great giving riding pointers to the kids. Pace had been hesitant at first. Then the Lord reminded him of why he’d left Idaho, and he’d accepted. This was his opportunity to use his love of horses as a bridge to interact with a group of kids. It was an opportunity to be a witness for Christ.
He’d already committed to helping when he learned that Sheri had come on board. Since he’d already given Cort his word there was no backing out. No avoiding her. And despite the gulf that was between them, there was a deep part of him that wanted to see her. Over the weeks he’d only seen her at church at a distance. They’d both been careful to steer clear of each other. Even though there had been a few times when it was plain that the ladies were trying hard to connect them, Sheri obviously was determined not to come near him. As soon as Norma Sue would call him over to their group Sheri would head to her Jeep.
The Lord had been after him for the last week to try and set things right between them. After all, she’d apologized, and he’d sent her away. She’d basically asked for forgiveness and he’d shunned her. Every time he’d picked up his Bible since then he somehow managed to read passages on forgiving your neighbor. God was sending him a message, but as of yet he’d been too stubborn to submit.
She’d lied to him. She’d tried to use him. The odd thing was that the posse didn’t seem to care one way or the other that they’d been deceived. They knew what had happened. Roy Don told him that Sheri had called a meeting at Roy and Norma Sue’s house and explained everything and asked them to forgive her for being so conniving. Obviously they’d done the right thing. They’d forgiven her.
So he had a dilemma. He needed to accept her apology and move on, and a part of him wa
nted that more than he could begin to understand. It was that part that had him running scared.
Sheri stepped into view carrying a tray of hot dogs. The moment he glimpsed her his heart kicked up a notch. Everything around him charged up the way it did just before he stepped into the stirrup of a bronc. In many ways Sheri reminded him of a wild bronc…so full of turns and contradictions that it was a struggle to keep up with her.
She had on faded jeans, her red boots and a tank top. He smiled automatically when she raised her eyes and their gazes melded together.
She had a hold on him. But she disappointed him.
In the flicker of the fire, shadows danced along her silhouette and time seemed to stand still. In that moment he made a decision. He was duty bound to accept her apology. He’d do it then be able to move on, to stop thinking about her. He took a step, then wove through the kids to get to her. She watched him all the way. When he stood a foot in front of her he had the urge to touch her. He shoved the urge away and got to the point.
“We need to talk.”
Sheri had been startled when she’d found Pace staring at her. When he’d stormed through the group of kids toward her she’d felt as she had the day she’d caused him to get tossed off the mustang. The man had a glint in his eye and a purpose in his step that was formidable. In the flickering firelight he looked as if he was bearing down on an outlaw.
It was intimidating, but she refused to be intimidated by him anymore. True, she’d been in the wrong using him as she’d done. But she’d apologized, and if he couldn’t accept it then so be it. He for certain wasn’t going to throw demands at her.
“Talk,” she said, stepping away from the group of girls whose mouths were hanging open looking up at Pace. She wasn’t sure if they were scared of him or enthralled by him. It was probably a little of both. “I’ve got things to do, cowboy.” Lifting her chin she stalked toward the house to get more food. In a flash, Sheri’s irritation had flared out of control. The man wanted to talk, and she’d been wanting to talk, so why was she suddenly so angry with him?
“I’ll help you,” he said, falling into step beside her.
“No thanks,” she huffed and walked faster. “I’m fine on my own.”
They reached the back door. She went to open the screen but he threw his hand over her shoulder and held the door closed. She yanked hard then twisted around to glare up at him. Suddenly finding herself practically in his embrace, she stepped back and pressed her back against the door. “Why’d you do that?” she snapped, frustrated by his nearness. His scent enveloped her, the smell of leather and soap. It was a very distracting and appealing scent and one she’d missed.
“I need to talk to you,” he said slowly. His eyes were dark, and his brows dipped below the rim of his hat.
“That’s a little awkward. Don’t you think?”
“What does that mean? And what is wrong with you?”
“Me? What’s wrong with me? I come and apologize to you, and you turn me away like I’ve committed the unpardonable sin, when I was doing the right thing. Then, you make no attempt to talk to me for three weeks and all of a sudden you practically demand to talk to me.” She knew she was overreacting, but telling herself to calm down was like talking to…well it was like talking to Pace Gentry—a hardheaded goat! As a matter of fact, if he wanted to talk then he would get a piece of her mind. “And another thing! If you think I’m going to grovel to get your forgiveness, well, you have another think coming, cowboy.”
He stepped back and yanked his hat off his head. His dark hair was plastered across his forehead as he rammed a hand through it and stared at her. “I don’t expect that,” he said.
The softness in his voice set her back. She felt a little, just a little embarrassed as she shifted her weight from one boot to the other. “Well. What do you expect?”
“I guess, what I was thinking is maybe we could start over. After you accept my apology for holding you to a higher standard than I was willing to meet myself.”
Well, at least that was a start. “I don’t think so,” she said. “I haven’t gotten the posse to completely give up on the idea of you and me being meant for each other. If they were to see us start speaking to each other it’d just rile them up again. I mean, knowing we agree that things between us are okay would be nice to know. But that’d be all.”
He slapped his hat on his thigh, his expression grim. “So would it be all that bad if they thought there might be something to this notion of theirs that we might be right for each other?”
Sheri’s heart stopped beating. Just stopped for an insane moment as something she didn’t recognize flared inside of her. “It wouldn’t be fair to anyone. Especially you,” she said, shaking off the odd feeling.
“I don’t understand.”
“Look, Pace.” She figured it was time to just lay it all out there for him and be done with it once and for all. “Nothing has changed for me. I’m still not planning on marrying. I’ve got too much baggage from my past to risk it. With the way my parents were, and the way I am, there’s still a chance that I couldn’t one hundred percent commit to one man for the rest of my life. Not that I’m saying that’s even something you might consider wanting with me. But I’m just thinking that you should know this.”
He scowled. “I’m not asking you to marry me. I’m just asking you out.”
She hadn’t really thought he might be thinking marriage, so why did his statement hurt so much? She lifted her chin. “I don’t think so. I’m trying to figure out some things right now,” she said with force, as much to convince herself as Pace.
“Like what?”
She studied him. “Like why am I here. I’ve been so busy running from who I am that I don’t really know myself anymore. And I want to know. God has a purpose for me. As mixed up as I am, He made me, so there’s got to be a reason.”
Pace reached out suddenly and ran his finger down her jaw, rattling her. “You’re a wonderful woman, Sheri. I know God has great plans for you, but I still don’t get why you’re so dead set against ever getting married.”
She stepped away from his touch; it distracted her more than she could take. “I realized something was really wrong with the sense of accomplishment I get from watching everyone else’s dreams come true. I figured out that is exactly the problem—they’re everyone else’s dreams. It’s time for me to find my own.”
He slammed his hat on, and she could see the frustration in the set of his jaw. Why was he so frustrated?
“That’s all well and good. But why can’t your dreams include marriage?”
Now she was frustrated again. “I don’t get why it matters to you so much, but if you must know—I’d never take a chance on getting married and having kids and dragging them through anything like what I went through growing up.”
“Why would you think you’d do something like that to your kids? You wouldn’t. Looks to me like you need to start believing in yourself a little more.”
Sheri’s head was starting to spin. Couldn’t the man hear? “Well, that’s what I’ve been saying.”
“No, if that’s what you’d been saying then you’d have enough sense to know that you’d be a great mother.” His expression was so intense that for an instant he had her believing him. Or at least wanting to believe him, but she didn’t.
“That just shows how little you know about me. Look, I need to get the stuff for s’mores before there’s a stampede.”
He studied her for a moment, then reached over her shoulder and opened the door. She slipped around the edge of it, her nerves jangling when he followed. She wanted him to go away.
Really needed him to go.
The last thing she needed was for him to make her wish for something she knew she’d never allow herself to have.
And that was exactly what was happening.
Chapter Twenty-One
Sheri gave up on sleep at 5:00 a.m. and crept into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.
It had been
a wild night in a house full of young girls. All the guys including Pace, Cort, Ron and the youth pastor who had brought the kids, were bunking down the lane at the house that had been Lilly’s when she and Cort had married.
Sheri hadn’t realized how lively ten-to-twelve-year-olds could be. Though she’d been told that she didn’t have to stay up with them she’d known being alone after her disturbing encounter with Pace wasn’t what she’d needed. So she’d stayed up and had a great time.
They’d sung and partied well past two in the morning. Once the girls realized she was a nail tech they’d whipped more polish than she had in her salon from their overnight bags and begged her to do manicures and pedicures. She’d been more than happy to oblige them, and for a few hours was able to derail thoughts of Pace.
But, no sooner than when everyone had finally sacked out sometime near three in the morning, did the thoughts of Pace roll in like the heavy fog.
Realizing the futility in trying to sleep, the lure of coffee and some sort of sweet comfort food drew her to Lilly’s kitchen and Lilly’s stash of banana taffy. Thankfully, Sheri knew where it was kept. Moving quietly around the kitchen she prepared the coffeemaker then lifted the lid off the large tin container that sat beside the back door. Inside was the chewy treat that Lilly and Samantha, Lilly’s donkey, had a huge weakness for. Normally a chocolate girl herself, Sheri wasn’t going to be choosy right now. She grabbed a handful of taffy and was ripping into a piece when a bumping noise drew her attention to the window beside the door.
“Ohhh!”
She almost dropped everything before realizing that the eyeball peering in at her belonged to Samantha. While Sheri recouped her calm and thanked the Lord that she hadn’t screamed so loud she’d awakened the entire house, Samantha drew her blinking eye away from the windowpane, squished her nose and bulbous lips against the glass and pressed. The end result was what looked like velvet lips ringing gigantic teeth in a very odd smile.
Meeting Her Match Page 16
