The Christmas Challenge

by Sinclair Jayne

  “What?” she asked curiously, a little undone by all the emotion on his face.

  “I thought ‘this is it. I’m home.’” He shook his head. “It was so strange because it didn’t make sense. I mean I’d never been to Marietta. I was so angry and hurt and lost, but when I looked at you I felt I was home.”

  She had too, but she was so afraid of ruining this. Of hurting him. That Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball song could have been her theme song. She’d actually considered having the rodeos play it for her when she was announced.

  “Tucker.” He turned her to face him. “You never talk to me about this, but I can’t keep ignoring it. I know our lives are both in flux, but can you see yourself staying in Marietta at least beyond the wedding and Christmas? I’m committed to a year, but I want more. I know now that I want more. I like it here. I think I could make a life here, but if I’m honest, every time I think about that, I see you with me.”

  “Laird,” Tucker didn’t even try to stop the tears. He’d seen her cry before. “I want to be that woman you love. I want to be the woman who deserves your love. I came to the lake that night to wish for a miracle. And then I saw you.”

  She swallowed hard. “I still have such a long, long way to go to meet you.”

  “You’re right here, Tucker. Right here.” He took her in his arms. “You don’t have to go anywhere. You don’t have to change anything.”

  She stood so still, staring at him, her hair blowing gently around her face when everything else about her was so still.

  “Ask me in a year,” she said.

  “I want to ask you now,” he said. “You can give me the answer in a year. Tucker McTavish, I love everything about you. You make me happy even when I am miserable and lost. You are so precious and wherever I go I want you to be by my side.”

  He took off the necklace with the ring. “This can be my promise to you and your ‘I’ll think about it’ ring,” he said softly, pulling it off the chain and kissing it. Then he kissed her.

  “But Laird, it’s your clue, your history, all you have of your mother.” Her voice was awed as she looked into his face, and her fingers played over the ring.

  “No,” he slid it on her finger and placed the chain back over his neck. “It’s my hope for us.”

  Tucker wore the ring as they skated. And in the car on the way home.

  Then she took it off. “I’m not saying no,” she told him. “But Tanner’s getting married tomorrow, and I want for once in my life to be total background so I’ll wear it on the chain.”

  He handed her the chain, and she looped the ring through then he helped her put it around her neck and tuck it under her sweater. “It’s warm,” she breathed.

  “Like you.”

  She hesitated. “I love you Laird. I’ve never said that to any man but my father. I never thought I’d say it.” She touched his cheek. “I got you a present too,” she said. “For your birthday. I remembered it was Christmas Eve and with the weddings and Christmas I don’t want you to think I forgot. You can open it tonight.”

  He laughed. “Impatient, much? I’ll open it tomorrow night with you on my real birthday.”

  “Okay,” she said, sounding a little shy.

  Then she slipped out of the Jeep and into the apartment alone. She and Tanner were sharing the studio apartment tonight to keep tradition of the groom not seeing the bride until the ceremony. Laird would stay in the main house.

  Tucker sat cross legged on her bed touching her chest where the ring lay between her breasts under one of Laird’s T-shirts. She smiled when the door opened thinking it was Laird saying goodnight one last time, but it was Tanner and she looked frantic.

  “What’s up?” Tucker popped off the bed ready to solve any problem. She knew the cake and the brunch food was ready because she and Parker had spent most of the day helping Laird to prepare the food for the wedding brunch.

  “It’s Luke. He’s so excited.”

  “He should be. You’re way more awesome than he deserves.”

  “I’m serious. He has a suit. Not the suit from the ball, but a suit from Italy. Kane brought them. Apparently when they went to get measured for their suits they bought in Bozeman, Kane took all the measurements and bought both Colt and Luke custom made Armani suits. I was just going to wear…”

  “I know what you were going to wear,” Tucker said. “I’ve seen it a hundred times.”

  “Not a hundred, and I was trying to lay low, save money.”

  “It’s your wedding. You’re supposed to be a bit frivolous!”

  “I know but now what? He’s gone through all this trouble and expense with Kane and I’ve got a floral dress from the farm store.”

  “No you do not,” Tucker said. “That might have ended up on one of Samara’s little burn projects,” Tucker teased. “But I do have this.”

  Heart soaring that she was finally going to be of use to her sister and save the day and behave and not make a scene or cause problems, she pulled out the white sheath dress studded with sequins.

  Tanner gasped. “How did you… When… Where did you find such a beautiful dress?”

  “LA. Designer. I saw it right after I saw on someone else’s Facebook that you and Luke were engaged, and I thought it was perfect, but I wanted to go dress shopping with you. I thought we could fly to LA for some girl time, but your panties were in a bunch so we didn’t, but when I saw that floral thing I was all ‘no way, girl,’ so I called the designer and voila!” Tucker swung the dress around in a circle and then held it up to her sister’s body. “And I got you shoes and cowgirl boots to match so you can choose.”

  Tanner touched the dress reverently.

  “And I’m doing your hair and makeup so shut up now about it, and while we’re on the subject, Luke let me know that he was taking you to somewhere special for a honeymoon so I shopped for you and while you might not appreciate all the effort and time I spent, trust me, Luke will although he’ll probably still prefer the naked you but at least wear one of the outfits. They are all packed in a new suitcase at Colt’s and now… Ta da!” With a flourish she dragged out her large makeup case. “Spa night for the bride.”

  *

  Pastor Sam Zabrinski looked at the two grooms and two brides and smiled. She did that a lot, Tucker noticed. Kane stood up for Luke and Colt, beside them, supporting them. All three of the Wilder men looked devastatingly handsome and deadly serious. Even Kane, who usually was killing everyone with his gorgeous straight white teeth and smile that belonged in a toothpaste commercial, was serious. He held two rings.

  Parker stood behind Talon and Tucker holding the two wedding bands. Tucker tried not to think about that as she sat next to Laird on one side and Samara Wilder on the other.

  Pastor Sam read a poem by Mary Oliver, and Tucker bit back a sob. It had been her and Tanner’s favorite poem in junior high. They had memorized it for an assignment and had read it to their class, but the meaning had gone way beyond homework for them both. She saw Tanner’s shoulders shake a little, and then Tanner looked back at her and her hand came back too—reaching out.

  Please, Tanner mouthed.

  “Yes!”

  Tucker jumped up clasping Tanner’s hand so tightly before pulling her into a full body hug.

  “Oops,” she said after it seemed a full minute had passed. She was disrupting the wedding. She was pretty sure this counted as a disruption and quite possibly a scene, only Tanner was holding her back just as tightly.

  “Sorry, I’ve been so horrible,” Tanner whispered.

  “I’m sorry I have been a lousy sister.”

  “You’re not.” Tanner’s eyes welled.

  “Don’t cry; that’s not waterproof mascara.”

  The handful of guests laughed and Sam Zabrinksi joined in and said she didn’t think that barn weddings were meant to be formal and did anyone else need some aerobic exercise? Even Tanner laughed then and Tucker took her place behind her twin and winked at Parker. He held out one of the wedding
bands.

  “You wanna hold Luke’s?” he asked, and Tucker felt like her heart would break at his sweetness.

  “You are the best little man ever,” she whispered, taking Tanner’s ring for Luke and holding it safe in her hand.

  “I’m not little,” Parker said. “I’m gonna be big like my daddy,” he said looking at Colt.

  “Yeah.” She fist bumped him. “You have a big heart.”

  The rest of the short ceremony seemed to flow over Tucker in a state of bliss. She couldn’t remember ever feeling so happy. Tanner and Talon both looked so beautiful and radiated a joy that Tucker hadn’t even been able to imagine before today. She felt Laird’s ring nestled between her breasts, and wondered a little. Did she have the guts to try to grab what Tanner and Talon had?

  She hoped so.

  After the brunch, after the toasts and after the champagne and cake and well wishes and departures, Laird and Tucker stood in the kitchen surveying the dishes.

  “We need elves,” she said.

  “Tag, you’re it.”

  “Thought so. I’ll make some coffee, and then I think I’ll change.”

  “No, you look so beautiful,” he said, taking her in his arms. “Let me look at you a little longer. You are the most stunning bridesmaid in the history of bridesmaids.”

  “I was. Although I think you exaggerate a little on my behalf.”

  “Not possible.” He kissed along her neck, and let his tongue stroke her kicked up pulse.

  “Christmas challenge, Tucker,” he pulled her into his body and began to move her around the room like they were dancing. “You nailed it.”

  She laid her head on his shoulder. “Surprise, surprise.”

  “Not for me. I think you can do anything you set your mind to,” he said.

  “Again you are biased.”

  “Yes, but I’m also right.”

  “You haven’t found all your answers,” she said softly, pulling the chain with the ring out of the bodice of her dress. She worried it around her fingers.

  “I’m not asking those questions anymore,” he said. “I wish you’d wear it,” he whispered, his breath sending shivers down her spine.

  “I said ask me in a year,” she said quietly.

  “I know,” he rested his forehead against hers. “I know.”

  A year seemed like a decade, like it would never happen, but she didn’t trust herself or her good fortune. Even with a miracle, from Miracle Lake, she wasn’t sure the new calmer, more focused, less impulsive, more emotional Tucker was for real. What if she went back to the circuit? Would she go back to hooking up as the mood struck her, Laird forgotten? She couldn’t do that to him.

  She’d already hurt a good man, and even though it had worked out for the best for everyone involved, Tucker didn’t like knowing she’d deliberately hurt Luke because she’d been scared. And now she was afraid she’d hurt Laird. He deserved to be loved, and she hurt people she loved—her sister, Luke, her father, her mother. Her mother must have left for a reason.

  She’d hurt Laird and he’d leave.

  “I want to be good,” Tucker said. “Not some judgey moral good because the past is the past, and I had a lot of fun and lived my life like I wanted, but it’s time to make some changes. I want to feel settled in myself. Not rushing into everything. All my life I was heedless of consequences. Selfish. I want to feel worthy.” She pressed her lips together, looked away from him to the snow falling lightly outside. “Of you.”

  “Baby,” Laird took a step toward her, but she held out her hand, palm out.

  “Please, Laird you need to really listen to me. You think you know me, but you don’t.”

  “I disagree, Tucker. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.”

  “Rosy glasses?”

  “Clear. This whole month you’ve done nothing but put others first. You helped Tanner. Your father. Colt and Talon. Me.”

  She kissed his jaw and then pulled away. “I’ll make the coffee.”

  Tucker brewed the coffee and then made some hot chocolate for Parker. She carried the tray into the living room where Parker was putting the last few ornaments on the tree. Laird followed her out with a tray of Parker’s cookies.

  “Ta da!” Parker sang. “It’s all done, Mom. When do we get to give Dad his present?”

  “I thought you are my present,” Colt said.

  “This year and every year.” Parker hurtled across the room, took a flying leap and landed on Colt’s lap just as Tucker was about to hand him a cup of coffee.

  “Whoa, you are like a misguided missile, my man,” Tucker said, holding the cup above her head.

  “Sorry,” Parker bounded across the room, grabbed two cookies from the tray Laird held, and then headed back to Colt. He sandwiched himself between Colt and the arm of the couch and handed his dad a cookie. They each took a bite looking at each other, Parker’s eyes sparkling.

  “But still Mom and I got you a birthday present.”

  “Your mom’s my birthday present too. You and she are the only presents I will ever need.”

  “When’s your birthday?” Tucker demanded, still holding the coffee above her head.

  “Today. Christmas Eve,” his mouth twisted. “Some present I was,” he winked at Parker. “I like both mine better. You gonna give me that coffee or just pose as the Statue of Liberty?”

  Tucker lowered the coffee slowly, and Colt took it, then she turned to face Laird. Her face was a myriad of expressions. She mouthed his name, clearly asking a question, but damn, he had no answers. He thought back to the rambling gossip of the Daughters of Montana. Colt hadn’t been a twin though.

  “If my birthday was on Christmas Eve I would still want a lot of presents and then Santa to bring lots more,” Parker said. “Besides, Mom says it’s the big three oh so we’re gonna celebrate. My adoption,” he ticked off his fingers, “the wedding, your birthday and Christmas.”

  Christmas Eve.

  The tray trembled in Laird’s hand.

  Thirty. Colt turned thirty today.

  No. This was crazy talking.

  Colt had been born in Marietta and then adopted out.

  Twin. Colt. Not a twin. Not a twin, he said. Not a twin, Samara Wilder had said.

  He could not shut his mind down.

  “Hey, Cookie Master,” Kane called out to Laird. “Are you just going to stand there or are you going to put the cookies down so we can actually indulge in Parker’s culinary creations?”

  Laird felt frozen.

  This was just a coincidence.

  But then he remembered the pictures with Santa. How the elf assistant had assumed they were brothers. How the bartender at Grey’s had thought he was Colt and Tucker had joked he was more like Luke in build.

  In September Colt had discovered he was adopted. That he was Luke’s brother. But not a twin.

  Still.

  He had to shut his mind down. Had to shut it off. Laird put down the tray. Said something unintelligible and walked out of the room. Out of the house. No coat. Snagged his boots by the door.

  *

  Tucker handed Tanner a coffee.

  “Married girl,” she teased. Tanner was curled up on the couch next to Luke, her dog Ryder curled at her feet next to Colt’s dog Dude.

  Tucker handed out the rest of the coffees. She looked towards where Laird had left. He must have realized the significance of the birthday, but it didn’t make sense. Samara would have said that she’d had twins and hadn’t ever met them because her father had adopted them out while she’d been in the hospital clinging to life.

  “Samara?” Tucker asked as Luke and Colt’s mom walked in the room. “Do you want coffee?”

  “Please,” she said, sitting down in a straight-backed chair. She smiled at Colt. He looked down at his coffee.

  Tucker poured out another cup and asked about cream and sugar, only Samara wanted black. Tucker brought her the cup, but tripped over Ryder, who had moved to lay at Samara’s feet. Tucker clutc
hed the cup with both hands to keep it from spilling.

  “Let me,” Samara reached for it at the same time as Tucker tried to hand it to her, and her necklace swung out and hit Samara in the mouth.

  “Whoops. Sorry,” Tucker said. “Are you okay? I didn’t chip a tooth or anything did I?”

  Samara held the ring in her palm. She looked at it. Twirled it around again and again, her lips moving as she read the inscription. Tucker’s heart leapt. Maybe Luke’s mom knew what language it was because it wasn’t Spanish. Tucker could read and speak that.

  “Where did you get this?” Samara asked.

  “Can you read it? Do you know the language?” She tried to take the ring back so she could at least stand up straight.

  Samara held on to it. “How do you have it?”

  “Oh. Ummm,” she looked at Laird for help, only he wasn’t there.

  Damn, she’d been so close. Today was Tanner and Talon’s big day, and now everyone was staring at her. Trust her to screw things up at the last minute.

  “It was an early Christmas present,” she hedged. “What do you know about it?”

  Samara pulled and the fragile clasp on the silver necklace broke. The ring fell in her palm.

  “It’s mine.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  “Parker,” Talon said and then she whispered in his ear.

  “Yes!” he jumped up, called to Dude and Ryder and ran out of the room. Talon leaned over and kissed Colt’s cheek, looked into his eyes, and then traced a heart shape over his mouth.

  He caught her hand. Shook his head. Talon hesitated.

  “I’ll go,” Tucker said, even though she was burning up with curiosity. One last family-oriented good deed. What the hell? It wasn’t even officially Christmas Eve as it was late afternoon. Besides she was starting to get a bit edgy as Laird had left the room and she couldn’t hear any noise from the house except Parker talking to the dogs and fumbling with his boots.

  “No,” Samara said, standing up and blocking Tucker’s way. “You need to tell me where you got that ring, right now.”