by Emma Davies
‘I’ll just go and put on some lipstick…’
Ten minutes later we’re ushered into a small waiting area in the school by a receptionist who looks even more stressed than I feel. We sit on two small plastic chairs and it’s alarming how insecure I can feel in such a short space of time. I’ve sat in this space before, many, many years ago, waiting for Mrs Williams, and I have to remind myself that, today, I’ve done nothing wrong. Drew squeezes my hand and I’m so grateful he’s here. We’re the epitome of responsible parenthood surely, as if that counts for anything.
A door opens from further down the corridor and I can hear the noise of a crying child getting steadily closer. I look up at Drew in horror. It’s Lauren; I’d recognise her cry anywhere. But she isn’t just upset, she’s hiccupping and sobbing like her heart’s about to break. I feel it like pain.
Moments later she spots me and hurls herself headlong at my skirt, as I stand to catch her. She buries her head, clutching at me. This isn’t a child who is afraid of being told off, or who is contrite at having done something wrong, but one who is utterly distraught, and anger rises inside me like a swelling tide.
Drew also gets to his feet, just as the teacher following Lauren reaches us and, by her bearing, I realise this must be the head. She smiles briefly.
‘Mrs Gordon and Mr Gordon. Thank you for coming.’ She glances at Lauren. ‘Do come through.’
I’m not sure what to do. I can hardly walk into her office dragging Lauren with me, but she’s still clinging to me like a limpet. I’m also furious that Mrs Faulkner doesn’t seem to have acknowledged the state Lauren’s in and I’m now more determined than ever to have my say. I know Drew is more than capable of dealing with this himself, but for Lauren’s sake I want to fight her corner too. There’s no way I’m sitting outside with her.
Drew bends down, his hand caressing Lauren’s head as he murmurs against her hair. Then in one smooth motion he lifts her from me, holding her close as her arms slide around his neck and her cheek seeks out his bare skin, drawing comfort from it. He nods at me and I’m suddenly ready.
‘Mrs Faulkner?’ I begin, as we walk into the room. ‘Could I just ask when this fight happened?’
She glances at her watch, clearly surprised by the question. ‘At morning break, so a little over an hour ago. Have a seat.’
‘I see,’ I say quietly, holding her look for a moment longer than strictly necessary. I bend to Lauren as I reluctantly take my seat. ‘It’s all right, sweetheart, we’re here now.’ There’s a shuddering intake of breath but I doubt if Lauren could even string a sentence together just yet.
Mrs Faulkner clasps her hands together loosely on her desk. ‘I’m sorry to have to ask you to come in, particularly this early on in the term, but I wanted to discuss Lauren’s behaviour with you today. We don’t tolerate violence of any kind here at Wood View and this kind of behaviour is simply unacceptable. Now, obviously Lauren is new to us here and, up until this point, I would have said that she’d settled in very well. However, it would be helpful for us to get a picture of how things are… going forward, so that we can manage them better.’
I exchange a glance with Drew and he looks just as astonished as I am. I can’t believe she could make such an assumption. ‘Sorry, but that sounds as if you’re expecting this kind of thing to continue and I can assure you that Lauren—’
‘Perhaps I had better explain what happened, Mrs Gordon.’
I sit back in my chair, knowing that I need to try to keep calm.
‘As far as I’m aware there have been no problems up until this point, but at break, Lauren’s class were let out into the playground. About halfway through, one of our very experienced teaching assistants clearly saw Lauren punch another child. He was very upset and—’
‘He?’ I query.
‘Yes… a boy, also from Lauren’s class, very deliberately punched.’
Lauren hasn’t mentioned any boys in her class, only… My eyes narrow. ‘Was anyone else involved, other than Lauren and this boy?’ I ask.
There’s a very slight pause. ‘Another child was there, yes. Who also became very upset. But she did confirm what Lauren had done.’
I’m beginning to get an inkling of where this might be going because, if Lauren was outside playing, there was only one person she’d be playing with. ‘And was that other child Tilly, by any chance?’
Mrs Faulkner looks slightly irritated to have to admit it, but she nods. ‘Yes, it was as it happens.’
‘And so what did Tilly say?’ I ask. ‘Did she shed any light on why Lauren thumped this boy?’
She nods. ‘She said… actually, that he had asked Lauren to hit him, which sounds a little far-fetched to me, but Mrs Gordon, this really doesn’t change anything. We don’t allow physical violence for any reason.’ She breaks off to give a small smile. ‘And I’m afraid that in the absence of any other information, I’m at a loss to explain what would have made her do such a thing. The teaching assistant did do her best to find out what had happened, but Lauren admitted it, so…’
Lauren’s head is still buried in Drew’s shoulder, although her sobs have quietened. She’s listening, I realise.
‘And have you asked Lauren what happened?’ It’s pretty obvious that Lauren is guilty as charged, but that’s rather missing the point. Lauren shouldn’t have resorted to violence, but what concerns me is that she should do something so completely out of character. That, and the fact that the head teacher doesn’t know Lauren well enough yet to be aware of this – and worse, seems quite happy to label her as a troublemaker.
Mrs Faulkner looks a little uncomfortable. ‘I have tried to, yes, but she’s been…’ She unclasps her hands and makes a small gesture towards Lauren. ‘Not altogether easy to talk to.’
‘She’s been like this, you mean? For over an hour…’
‘I do understand your distress, Mrs Gordon. It’s hard when a child misbehaves, but I have spoken to both the other children concerned, and I’m afraid there’s no doubting the fact that Lauren punched another pupil.’
I lay a gentle hand on Lauren’s back. ‘Is that true?’ I ask her. ‘Remember how we always tell the truth.’
She turns a tear-stained face towards me and nods sadly. My heart goes out to her, she looks so forlorn. ‘But Mummy, Leo was hurting Tilly! And he wouldn’t stop even when I asked him to. He’s been doing it all day!’
‘I know that you were only sticking up for your friend, Lauren. But hitting people is wrong, you know that… You do know that, don’t you?’
There’s a barely perceptible nod as her lip starts to tremble again.
‘Then why did you do it?’
‘Because he wouldn’t stop!’ she blurts out. ‘Yelling at me all the time. Wotcha gonna do about it?’ she mimics. ‘Wotcha gonna do about it, little girl. You gonna make me stop? Go on, hit me, I dare you.’
I have an almost uncontrollable urge to laugh at the expression on my dear, darling, fierce and courageous daughter’s face. Except I know it’s not funny. Because however much I want to applaud Lauren for what she did, that’s hardly the thing to do when you’re a responsible parent, especially not when you’re sitting in the head teacher’s office. But I have no idea what to say either.
Lauren looks angry now, as if she’s just worked out the injustice of it all. Why she’s the one getting the blame when all she was doing was what Leo had goaded her into.
I look across at the head, who’s frowning slightly. ‘I’m sorry,’ I say. ‘It’s very obvious what’s happened here, but I can assure you that it won’t be repeated. Lauren and Tilly have become very close over the summer… and it’s in her nature to be protective and stand up for her friends. I happen to think that’s a commendable trait, and Lauren wouldn’t normally hit anyone. She does know right from wrong.’
‘Yes, but I only have your word for that…’
‘Shouldn’t that be enough?’ I counter.
She falters slightly. ‘I don’t mean that i
t isn’t,’ she says, calmly. ‘It’s simply that, in my experience, parents aren’t always that keen to admit when their children are in the wrong.’
‘Not in this case.’ I’m finding her placatory manner more than a little condescending. ‘We fully accept what Lauren did, and we’ll certainly be having a chat at home to reinforce that violence isn’t the answer.’ It’s killing me to say these things when the situation seems so unfair. ‘But I’m sure you’ll agree that Lauren isn’t the type of child to go around thumping people. She’s obviously been very upset by this.’
Mrs Faulkner nods. ‘I do appreciate that but, unfortunately, this is a very serious matter and there are clear guidelines for situations such as this. The normal procedure would be to exclude Lauren from school for a day—’ She holds up her hand as my mouth drops open. ‘However, given what you say and the fact that we don’t as yet have Lauren’s records from her previous school, on this occasion only, I’m going to err on the side of caution. However, should there be another occurrence of this type of behaviour, I will have no hesitation in issuing an exclusion.’ She raises her eyebrows. She doesn’t say I trust that won’t be necessary, but she may as well have.
‘Thank you,’ I say. ‘We appreciate that. We’ve always seen the relationship between home and school as a partnership and certainly wouldn’t want to undermine the authority of the school if there were any issue. In fact, we’d expect to work together to find a solution. However, in the case of both of our children there has never been an occasion when this has been necessary, not in the past and I wouldn’t anticipate one in the future either. I’m sure this is just a one-off.’ I clear my throat. ‘Incidentally, is Tilly okay?’
The Head looks as if she’s chewing on something rather unpleasant. ‘I don’t think Tilly’s made any complaint,’ she replies.
I try to look as if I’m sympathising. ‘Yes, that makes it difficult, doesn’t it? She obviously has a lot to contend with, but she doesn’t strike me as the sort to make a fuss. Such a lovely girl.’ I glance at Drew and see my own expression mirrored there. Neither of us is about to make an issue of this but whether we’re about to make an enemy of the head or not, there’s a point to be made here.
‘Right, well, thank you, Mrs Faulkner,’ says Drew. ‘We’ll be sure to have a chat to Lauren this evening and make sure we’re reinforcing the right messages.’ He gives Lauren a squeeze and runs a hand affectionately over her hair. ‘Well done you, for sticking up for Tilly, but if Leo or anyone else does anything to hurt her again, you need to tell the teacher, okay? Or a teaching assistant, and then they can help.’ He checks his watch and smiles. ‘It’s nearly lunchtime, so I guess we’d better let Lauren get back to class,’ he says.
‘Actually I did wonder if you wanted to take Lauren home. Given that she’s been… rather upset.’
Which is exclusion by any other name. Not bloody likely. I refuse to let Lauren think she’s being punished. She loves school and I’m not about to let anyone change that for her.
‘What do you think, sweetheart?’ I say. ‘You can come home if you want, or stay with Tilly and the other children?’
It doesn’t take her long to make up her mind. She gives a big sniff and nods. ‘Can I stay with Tilly?’ she asks. ‘I’m sorry, I promise I won’t hit Leo again.’ I lean forward and take a tissue from the box on the head’s desk and pass it to her. ‘Good girl,’ I add. ‘Now, have a good blow.’
Drew is getting ready to leave. ‘Is there someone who can take her back?’ he asks, turning on a full-wattage smile.
‘I’ll ask my secretary.’ There’s a perfunctory nod as the head gets up to cross to the office next door.
I take the opportunity to look at Drew, eyebrows raised. He’s got very good at holding his tongue over the years, a skill he developed from working in a large organisation with too many aspiring managers. I’d give it ten seconds once we get outside before he starts venting his feelings.
Within a minute, Mrs Faulkner is followed into the room by a woman who looks old enough to have been at the school when Drew and I were pupils. She stands in the doorway, a set expression on her face which looks like it could curdle milk. I really don’t want to release our daughter to someone who looks so harsh and unwelcoming, but I guess we have no choice. I beckon to Lauren who, after a kiss goodbye from us both, walks slowly to the woman’s side. It’s as she does so that the secretary meets my eye for the first time. I had expected to see some compassion, or perhaps empathy on her face, but instead there is open disdain and a supercilious look that almost takes my breath away.
It’s only Lauren’s small wave that jerks me back to the present. ‘See you later, sweetheart,’ I say as she leaves, waiting only a second or two more before getting to my feet. Drew does likewise.
I hold out my hand. ‘Thank you so much for asking us to come in,’ I say. ‘I’m glad we were able to sort everything out.’ Pretending to be so reasonable is killing me.
But Mrs Faulkner has somehow ended up on the back foot and she doesn’t want to lose face either, so she’s prepared to play the game and be gracious.
‘No, thank you for coming,’ she says. ‘I do appreciate your understanding.’
Oh, I understand all right. Leo’s a bully. She knows it and we know it, just like we know she’s not going to do anything about it.
She shows us to the door. ‘Moving is such a tricky time, isn’t it?’ she says. ‘How are you settling into the village?’
‘It’s just so lovely to be back,’ I say. ‘Everything we hoped for.’
She looks at me for a second, eyes slightly narrowed. ‘Yes, my secretary mentioned you had lived here before…’ It’s all coming back to her now. ‘Years ago… In the same house, in fact.’
‘Thanks again,’ says Drew, holding out his hand. The other is resting lightly on my back and I feel the slight increase in pressure. Clearly Drew has no wish to entertain her small talk.
Moments later we’re back outside. I don’t say anything immediately, putting some distance between us and the school as we walk back down the lane. But I also want to give Drew the opportunity to have his say first. When he doesn’t, I glance across at him. He’s angry – I can see the hard line of his jaw – but he’s staring straight ahead and doesn’t look like he’s about to engage. Perhaps he just doesn’t feel like this is the most appropriate place to do so. Yet the lane’s empty.
‘Sanctimonious, bloody…’ I trail off when I can’t think what to call the head that isn’t very rude. ‘And what was all that with the secretary as well? Jesus, did you see the look she gave me, like I was an axe murderer or something?’
Drew frowns. ‘She wasn’t the friendliest of souls, but I don’t think—’
‘And as for that jumped-up… Who the hell does she think she is?’
‘The head teacher,’ replies Drew.
‘We don’t tolerate violence of any kind,’ I say, repeating her words. ‘As if we do… And to make a sweeping assumption that Lauren is some sort of troublemaker when she knows nothing about our family. Hardly professional. Worse, she’s using that as an excuse to cover up her complete lack of interest in actually getting to the truth. Either doesn’t want to know, or doesn’t care, I’m not sure which I hate more. For goodness’ sake, it’s not as if we’re disputing the fact that Lauren hit Leo, but talk about asking the wrong questions. I know it’s a new school for Lauren and all that, but I’ll be damned if I let her be tarnished with a reputation as a troublemaker just because Mrs Faulkner isn’t doing her job properly.’
‘I think you got your point across,’ replies Drew mildly. ‘And she’s in a very difficult position, Thea. As head, she has to be seen to be taking action, or otherwise what does that look like? You know how hot the issue of bullying is among parents and it wouldn’t take much for them to lose confidence in her.’
I give him a sideways look. ‘Well, sorry, but she’s not using our daughter to make a point. Because that is my point. She has got a case of bul
lying on her hands and is very obviously looking the other way.’
‘Thea, we don’t actually know what happened. Lauren was beside herself and we only got about two sentences out of her the whole time we were there. Certainly not enough to know what actually took place. I’m not saying she got it wrong, but we need to talk to her tonight before we go jumping to conclusions. Otherwise we’re simply doing what the head wanted to accuse us of – backing our daughter regardless.’
‘So you don’t think Leo was bullying Tilly?’
‘I didn’t say that…’
‘Okay… But you weren’t there on the first day of school when Leo came racing out of school, barged past Tilly and nearly sent her flying. Now, I don’t know whether it was deliberate or not, and Anna tried to make light of it at the time, but Leo’s mum really laid into him. If he didn’t have an issue with Tilly then, I’m pretty certain he’s got one now; no child likes being told off like that in public and Tilly was the reason for it.’
Drew stops walking for a moment. ‘Are we saying that Tilly is obviously being bullied because… well, because she’s an easy target?’
‘No!’ I glare at him. ‘That’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m making no more assumptions about this than you are, but Lauren’s behaviour today was completely out of character. She must have had a good reason for what she did. And yes, on the face of it, Lauren seems like she’s the only one who’s done anything wrong, but bullies are often experts at hiding what they do. So, if you were the parent of a disabled child, who had been singled out for abuse, verbal or physical, would you rather everyone just ignored it so you couldn’t be accused of making a fuss? Or, would you rather the child’s friend stood up for them? Because if I were Anna, I think I’d be rather pleased that Lauren is loving and loyal and brave enough to take a stand.’
‘Of course I’d rather someone stood up for them, but that isn’t the point here, Thea. We don’t know that Tilly is being bullied. All I’m saying is that it’s probably not a good idea to assume she is, or the whole thing could get blown out of proportion. Besides, if Tilly is being bullied, then isn’t that Anna’s issue to deal with?’
