by Amy Ruttan
“No, he probably didn’t.” Derek rolled his eyes.
“Well, I’m going to speak to the medical board, because that’s two patients here that were not dealt with properly. What else has been missed?”
“He was here for three months, but Jennifer is getting close to term now, so how many other people didn’t see it. Now you understand why I’m mad that I’m the only one who stays. This constant rotation of doctors is not good for the people here. Sometimes it does more harm than good. And we need a hospital. Even if it’s small. We need a hospital with regular staff so that when situations like what happened to Christina or Mo arise then they can be taken care of right away. I’ve been fighting for years to make it happen, but money is tight.”
She nodded. “A hospital would be great, but it wouldn’t have saved my father’s life.”
“What happened to your father?” he asked. “I know that he passed, but no one has told me how.”
“He was walking through town to...” She trailed off. “To visit someone and it was foggy. A logging truck that was speeding came through the fog and my father was hit. He was killed instantly. There was nothing to be done. Even if there had been a hospital the damage was too great. No doctor could’ve saved him.”
Derek could see the hint of tears in her eyes, but there was something else there. Something she was not telling him. Just as he wasn’t telling her the whole truth. How he’d redone the kitchen because that was where Vivian had died and he didn’t want to see the wooden floors that were stained after her death. He wanted no part of that room to remind him that she’d collapsed there. That she’d died there.
“I’m sorry, Evelyn. I’m sorry that happened to you.”
She smiled. “I’m sorry about your wife. And I’m sorry that I’m only here for a short time, just like everyone else.”
Their gazes locked and in her eyes he could see pain just like his pain, reflected back at him. They had so much in common when it came to that, but he also felt something else and his pulse kicked up a notch.
His gaze turned to her pink full lips, the flood of color that was in her smooth tan cheeks and her long slender neck. He had the urge to reach out and touch her. To kiss those lips and feel the silkiness of her long red hair.
It shocked him, but also thrilled him that he was feeling this way.
Get a hold of yourself.
“I’m glad you were there today.” He looked away. “For both Christina and Mo.”
“Thank you. I’m glad I was there too.” She looked down at her empty wineglass.
Tension hung in the air, electric and crackling. How long had it been since he’d felt this way? It had been too long. He’d forgotten what it was like. He’d forgotten what it was like to feel so alive.
He looked back at her. “I’m sorry I get so possessive over my patients and my home. Even though I wasn’t born here, Wolf’s Harbor is my home.”
“I understand,” she whispered. “That this is your home.”
“Isn’t this your home?” he asked.
“No,” she whispered. “It hasn’t been my home for some time.”
He wanted to tell her it could be. Because they needed her medical skill.
He didn’t want her to stay for any other reason.
Liar.
He had to put some physical distance between them before he did something he would regret.
Would you regret it?
“Would you like another...?” He leaned forward, but he was gripping the glass too tight and it shattered and cut his hand. “Dammit!”
He got up and ran to the kitchen to inspect the damage.
Evelyn followed him. “Let me see.”
“It’s fine. It’s small and superficial.”
“Let me see,” she repeated, taking his hand.
Her touch sent a shiver through him. Her skin was soft, but her grip firm. A surgeon’s hand. Delicate, long fingers. They were hands that had been taken care of.
“See,” he murmured. “Superficial.”
“Not even a shard of glass in there.”
She looked up at him. They were close and he could see how long her lashes really were.
Evelyn cleared her throat. “Do you have a first aid kit?”
“Yeah, in the powder room over there—under the sink.”
She disappeared and Derek took a deep breath. He had to get control. He was made of stronger stuff than this.
She returned with the kit and opened it, pulling out gauze and ointment. She bent over his hand and went to work. He could smell the scent of her shampoo. It was coconut. It reminded him of summer. Hot summers with his friends on the beaches of Lake Michigan, swimming and trying not to get too burnt.
“There,” she said, wrapping his hand because the cut was on his palm. “You had some Steri-strips, so I put a couple on just to make it easier on you.”
“Thank you,” he said, his voice hitching.
Their eyes locked and they didn’t say anything. Against every rational thought in his head he reached out and touched her cheek. She sighed when he touched her, closing her eyes, and he bent down, his lips barely grazing hers. His pulse thundered between his ears...
“Daddy?”
Evelyn jumped back, as did Derek when he heard Mo call from the other room.
She came into the kitchen. “Evie! You came!”
Evelyn smiled and cleared her throat nervously. “You bet I did. A promise is a promise.”
Mo looked at his hand. “What happened, Daddy?”
“I cut it. Just an accident. Dr. Saunders fixed it for me.”
Mo beamed. “Good job, Evie.”
Evelyn picked up the box of cupcakes. “I brought you these from Sally’s. How’s your head?”
“Ooh, yum! My head hurts a little. Do you want to come see my room?”
Evelyn looked at him, as if asking for permission. He appreciated that. He nodded. “Go ahead.”
“Sure,” Evelyn said.
Mo took her hand and led her out of the kitchen while Derek tried to regain some of his composure.
It had just been a light kiss, barely a kiss, but it had seared his soul. Then Mo had almost walked in on them, and that was a scary thought indeed.
He couldn’t let that happen again.
Even if he wanted it to happen again.
Badly.
CHAPTER SEVEN
EVELYN DID NOT sleep a wink that night.
The rest of the evening had been completely awkward, but little Mo hadn’t seemed to notice at all. She’d been happy as a lark as they’d had a dinner of macaroni and cheese with a side of chicken fingers.
Derek had barely looked at her, and when he had talked to her he’d referred to her as “Dr. Saunders.” Still, there had been some stolen, heated glances which had made her pulse quicken, her blood burn and her guilt to go into overdrive.
Mo had almost caught them kissing.
She didn’t even want to think of what it would have done to Mo if she’d seen them. She remembered when she’d walked in on her father kissing Jocelyn and how it had made her feel to see her father with someone who was not her mother.
Evelyn didn’t want Mo to go through that confusion. Or feel guilty later for destroying her father’s happiness. She would never forgive herself for ruining her father’s happily-ever-after.
As much as she had wanted that kiss to continue, it was good that it had been interrupted. It was good that it hadn’t continued for Mo’s sake.
And she did really like Mo.
Mo was the sweetest, most darling girl Evelyn had ever met. When she pictured having a daughter, someone like Mo was what she pictured.
But being with Mo just reminded her of what she would never have. Of course she didn’t deserve to have it.
Finally her alarm went of
f and she rolled over and shut it off, groaning because she’d spent the night tossing and turning.
She just hoped Derek and their almost kiss didn’t make things awkward.
Evelyn dragged herself out of bed. She got ready as quickly as she could and saw that it was still early. She could probably beat Derek into the office and then lock herself away in an exam room until Jennifer came.
Even though it meant that she would have to drink the horrible instant coffee that had been left in the apartment because she hadn’t had a chance to go shopping yet.
It would be worth it.
She didn’t want to run into Derek at Sally’s and have some weird, tension-filled meet-up that Sally would be privy to and that would soon become the talk of the town. She might have been away for a long time, but she still knew how these towns worked.
As she rounded the corner she ran smack-dab into something hard and warm.
Arms came around her to steady her. “Hey, watch out... Evelyn.”
Evelyn winced and looked up to see that Derek was the warm, hard wall she’d managed to run into.
“Derek,” she said uneasily. “I was about to start my day. How’s your hand?”
She knew she was babbling, but it couldn’t be helped. This was exactly what she’d wanted to avoid. It didn’t have to be awkward. They were professionals.
“Me too—and good,” he responded, slightly stunned.
“You were trying to avoid me, weren’t you?” she teased. “Just like I was trying to avoid you. Unsuccessfully, I might add, as we’re in such a small town.”
“Yeah...” He chuckled and rubbed a hand over his head. “I suppose I was.”
“Look, what almost happened was a mistake. It doesn’t have to happen again. It won’t happen again.”
He nodded. “It’s not that I... I have Mo to think about. But I want you to know that I don’t regret what almost happened. Just that with Mo I have to be careful.”
“I know. I agree. I wouldn’t want her to get hurt. I just want us to work together without it being weird.”
Derek sighed. “Me too.”
“Good. I’ll see you in there, then?”
“Yeah.” He started to walk back to Sally’s and then stopped. “Look, don’t drink that horrible stuff from the apartment. I’ll get you a coffee.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she said. Even though she was secretly pleased that he was offering to buy her a coffee. It was a sweet thing to do. What colleagues did.
“Hey, it’s what coworkers do. You can get the next round.” He turned back around and then headed down the alley toward Sally’s.
Evelyn breathed a sigh of relief. She was glad they were going to try and work together, but there was a part of her that was kind of sad that that was all it could ever be.
Why do you want more? You never want more.
Which was true.
She never wanted more out of a relationship. Her relationships never lasted because she wasn’t sure that she ever wanted to settle down or have kids. She loved kids, but she knew what it was like to lose both parents. To be taken away from everyone and everything you’d ever known and be sent to the other side of the country.
She knew that pain and she was sure that she never wanted to put a child through that—because there were no guarantees in life and that wasn’t a risk she was willing to take.
It was better this way, and she was glad that Derek was on board with it. That they could be professional about their almost-kiss.
The non-kiss.
Just thinking about the almost-kiss caused her heart to kick up a notch, her blood to heat and her body to react as she thought about his arms around her. His lips brushing over hers. All she could think about was him, and she couldn’t remember the last time a man had made her feel this way.
Certainly not Nathan.
There had been an attraction with Nathan, but nothing like this mooning, consuming desire that she seemed to be having for Derek.
Get a grip, Evelyn. Seriously.
This was going to be a long, long day if she didn’t get her mind off Derek and focused on something else. Anything else.
She unlocked the clinic and flicked on the lights, setting her travel coffee mug on the counter in order to pick up the first file in the small stack that was waiting for her.
Jennifer Yazzie was coming in for the first appointment today, after having to miss yesterday’s due to the excitement Christina had caused.
The bell over the door jingled and Janet came in.
“Good morning, Dr. Saunders.”
“Good morning, Janet. When did your flight get in from Sitka?”
“Late last night.”
“Shouldn’t you be home, resting?” Evelyn asked. “I can’t begrudge you that after your amazing work with Christina yesterday and flying to Sitka.”
Janet beamed. “Thank you, Dr. Saunders, but I’m fine really. It’s only an hour flight, gate to gate, and I’m a bit of a night hawk anyways.”
Evelyn grinned. “How is Christina?”
“Stable when I left her last night. They named the baby Evie, by the way. Not Evelyn, but Evie. Close to your name.”
She blushed and felt very honored. “That’s very sweet of them, but Christina did all the work.”
Janet handed her an envelope. “Her post-op notes and information from the surgeon in Sitka for Christina’s file. Do you need anything particular prepped for this morning, Dr. Saunders?”
“The ultrasound would be great. I’m having Jennifer Yazzie in and I want to check her measurements.”
Janet nodded. “Of course, Dr. Saunders. I’ll prime the machine now.”
Evelyn turned back to Jennifer’s chart, reading over all the notes and information about her pregnancy. She wanted to formulate a plan now, since Jennifer was so far along. She didn’t want this baby or Jennifer to die because of lack of healthcare.
Besides, Jennifer was sort of family, even though Evelyn didn’t know her particularly well. She would hate for something to happen to the next generation of Yazzies. She wasn’t going to lose anyone on her watch during her stay in Wolf’s Harbor. She was here to save lives, just like her father had.
She smiled to herself, and when the bell jingled at the front door she didn’t look up. It was probably Derek with the coffee.
“I hope you didn’t let Sally overload it with sugar. Yesterday she added so much to my coffee my back teeth got a sugar rush.”
“I don’t have coffee,” a frail voice responded, barely a whisper.
The hair on the back of Evelyn’s neck stood on end and her hand shook as she turned around slowly.
The woman before her was someone she’d thought she’d never see again. She had osteoporosis, and the once-ebony hair was white, with a few strands of black woven through. Her face was wrinkled, and she still wore the traditional abalone earrings that had always fascinated her as a child when she was in her arms.
And although she tried to hold back the rush of emotion she just couldn’t.
“Léelk’w...” Evelyn whispered, tears stinging her eyes.
Léelk’w smiled at her brightly. “You do remember me, then?”
Evelyn laughed and ran into her arms.
Léelk’w whispered words in her mother’s language but Evelyn couldn’t find the words to speak back. It was too hard.
“You must speak English first here, Evelyn. No one knows Tlingit.”
Evelyn sighed and stared up at her grandmother, annoyed that another note had been sent home from the principal about her using what he assumed were curse words in another language directed to other kids.
“I’ll try, Grandma. I’m just so used to speaking—”
Her grandmother cut her off. “You’re doing it again. English, please.”
Evelyn bega
n to cry. Tears rolled down her cheek.
“Ladies don’t cry, Evelyn. You are a Saunders woman and we are strong. Resilient. Never show your tears.”
“Yes. I’ll try to fit in better, Grandma.”
Her grandmother smiled. “I know you will.”
She swallowed down the tears, hearing her grandmother’s words in her head.
Evelyn broke the connection and took a step back. “Joe Jr. told me that you were still in town.”
Léelk’w cocked an eyebrow. “You mean he told you that I was still alive. You’re just putting it nicely.”
Evelyn chuckled. “I suppose so.”
She wanted to ask why Léelk’w had never written to her, never called, but she was too afraid. Too afraid of being hurt. Because she really hadn’t fitted into Boston well and maybe she’d never really fitted in to Wolf’s Harbor either.
You need to know.
“Why didn’t you write or call?” Evelyn asked.
Léelk’w was stunned. “Your grandmother had a private number that was blocked. I wrote, but all my letters were returned to sender.”
It should have shocked Evelyn, but it didn’t. It sounded exactly like her grandmother.
Which made her angry.
“Are you okay, Evie?” Léelk’w asked.
“I’m fine. I’m glad to see that you’re still here.”
Léelk’w grinned. “I’m in my nineties. My life expectancy is not the best.”
Evelyn frowned. “Are you ill? Is that why you’re here?”
“No, I came to talk to you about Jennifer.”
“I can’t do that. It’s doctor-patient confidentiality.”
Léelk’w snorted. “We’re family.”
“Well, yes...sort of.” She instantly regretted the words as she said them.
Great way of mending fences, Evelyn.
Léelk’w didn’t look fazed. “I knew that your father’s mother would try to erase all you’d learned up here. I knew that she would turn you into the kind of person your father was when he first arrived in Wolf’s Harbor.”
Evelyn sighed and walked back to her pile of charts. “It has nothing to do with my late grandmother.”
