by Kira Barker
That left one last resort, and by six in the evening I was ready to play that trump card, even if it might cost me more than I was ready to lose.
I called Brigitte.
I wasn’t surprised that I needed three tries to get her on the phone, not after evading her yesterday. I expected her to make me suffer, but instead she picked up with a sarcastic but not exactly harrowing, “Ah, so the prodigal daughter returns.”
Biting my lip, I waited a few moments for my ire to dissipate before I replied. With Adam, this had been so much easier than with her.
“I have a favor to ask.”
“Favors don’t come cheap,” she practically chirped, and I pictured her crossing her legs and sitting back more comfortably.
“This one might as it could work out in your favor,” I offered.
“What do you need, darling? A few more clients? Because your list of appointments has become really thin after your recent antics.”
Which likely meant that she’d gone ahead and had started pairing my regulars with other girls. Not her usual style, but she’d done so before when I’d gone through a quick spell of rebellion when I’d gone full-time and thought she owed me something for raking in double the cash than before. Spiteful she could be when she knew that she’d just annoy me but overall not hurt business.
There was no sense in trying to be circumspect, so I cut right to the chase.
“I need to know the names of the girls Darren has been engaging before he called you. You said he came with recommendations, right? I’m sure you can ask around at your weekly madams’ coffee klatch.”
Her pause made me instantly suspicious, but the laughter that followed in turn erased the flicker of doubt again.
“Trouble in paradise already? Why, what did he do? Or is it something else? Did you catch another girl’s cooties? And there I always tell you not to fuck without a rubber.”
I paused again, this time a little longer, but my teeth still hurt from gnashing them.
“Nothing of that sort. I’m just curious.”
Brigitte laughed, and it was a truly ugly sound.
“‘Just curious’ is the first nail in the coffin of every relationship. Come to your senses, girl, and drop that hot rocket before he tears you up completely. Now’s the perfect time to transition, you know. Just a couple of clients left for you. I even made sure that they’re your favorites, all just enough maintenance required to keep you happy while I show you the ropes.”
I wondered if I should try again, but it was obvious that from her I’d only get this kind of advice and nothing else.
“Or it’s the perfect time to just call it a day and quit.”
It wasn’t the first time I’d uttered those words—in fact, last night Darren had pretty much ignored them, although I didn’t delude myself into thinking that he hadn’t heard—but now consideration tipped over into conviction. I could do this, and it wouldn’t even be hard. I had Brigitte on the phone, she’d already started clearing my schedule, and really, was there anything that was holding me back?
I just had to consider my conversation from last night with Darren again, how his eyes had narrowed as I’d talked about my “work day,” his constant silent but evident disapproval. He valued me too highly to ask me outright to quit, but I was well aware that of course he’d appreciate being the only one I had sex with. It would also help keep things in balance with Alison, and while she hadn’t unsheathed her claws with me yet, I didn’t doubt that one more incident with Ray, even if it was just hearsay, and I’d get to meet a different side of her. No more moping around from Adam, and no more feeling Brigitte’s thinly veiled threats breathing down my neck.
In short, quitting had never sounded so good, and decidedly an improvement compared to possible consequences, if I wanted to tackle the issue rationally. Judging from the long time it took Brigitte to reply, I realized that she knew what was going through my head just then.
“So you’re really going to throw your independence away for a nicely shaped cock and some irrationally whispered words in the dark.” She finally broke the silence that hung heavy between us.
“Maybe I’m just tired of looking at myself in the mirror and seeing a despicable whore glaring back at me?” I suggested.
“Then take my offer. Just because you can keep clients on the side doesn’t mean that you have to.”
“And become an accessory to helping others do what I despise for myself?” I asked.
She snorted derisively. “You’re using a lot of fancy words there. Still trying to convince yourself that you’re doing the right thing when deep down you know better?”
“Do I? Know better, I mean. Just look at my track record,” I pointed out. “I’ve only had to go to the hospital a few times in my career. You only sent me into appointments you knew I wouldn’t leave completely unharmed a few times more, the last time this very month. I require more blood tests than most chronically ill people. Is that really such a wonderful life?”
Silence fell again because she knew that I was right, and she wasn’t conceited enough to believe that sweet-talking would change my mind.
“What are you going to do next? Exchange a few unpleasantries for a gilded cage? Become his kept woman, always ready to do his bidding and be shown around to the world as he sees fit? Of course being a prostitute comes with things that make other people hurl if they just think about this, but it’s also a life of freedom and independence. When was the last time you couldn’t freely do whatever you wanted once you got your appointments out of the way? Be yourself, a strong woman, ready to tackle the world? You want to give all that up just because some guy thinks you’re the next best reincarnation of his perfect woman? Do you think you are the first, even for him?”
Unbidden, the sound of him uttering that name—Juliette—followed by what had clearly been genuine grief rose in my mind, but I quickly stomped down on the doubt hitching a ride.
“No, I’m neither stupid nor naive. But maybe I’m the last.”
I said that with conviction, momentarily bolstered by the sound of it, but then a different kind of unease slithered down my back. That had sounded awfully final, and not in the way I’d meant it.
“Well, I guess this is goodbye then?” Brigitte replied eventually.
“I can bring over your cut right now,” I proposed, feeling strangely hollow all of a sudden.
“Don’t bother with that. Look at it as a severance package. Or a wedding gift, depending on how lost you are.”
“I’m not—“ I started, but Brigitte interrupted me one last time.
“I don’t give a shit. Goodbye, Penelope.”
The line went dead after she’d said the proper phrase, likely for the very first time between us. All I was left with was a dead phone and a dumbstruck look on my face, and triumph slowly turning to ash in my mouth.
Chapter 20
For the first time in my life, I woke up without anything to do. No appointments, no goals, no obligations. I didn’t even have to get up, strictly speaking, so the first thing I did was while away the day in bed.
At least until I got bored right out of my mind at around eleven and decided that I had to celebrate my newfound freedom differently.
I enjoyed an early lunch out and about in the city, then dropped by my personal banker and portfolio manager to get an update on my finances. Thanks to my own and Brigitte’s investments for me, I was considerably well-off, with not too many expenses to my daily life. Even should things go wrong, I could easily hold myself above the water for years, likely even longer if I switched to a more frugal lifestyle. I didn’t need a cent of Darren’s money to keep on doing whatever I pleased, but I couldn’t fathom that he’d suddenly turn into a veritable Scrooge.
Life was good, and with the sun shining on my face, it was impossible that anything could even intrude into, let alone destroy, my good mood.
I spent another hour idling around the city, then got out the new day planner I’d bought and star
ted looking through the blissfully empty pages. I only had two spa appointments to transfer that I decided to keep—there was no sense in not getting pampered, and I doubted Darren would appreciate it if I suddenly started sprouting hair in all the wrong places—but besides that, my week, month, and year was free.
It was afternoon by the time I realized that not having anything to do might be a lot harder to bear than getting buried in appointments. Come to think of it, I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d not had my weeks plastered with dates to keep and people to meet. In high school I’d been intent on bolstering my grades with as many extracurriculars as I could manage. College had started off with three part-time jobs that had killed me, soon to be exchanged for working for Brigitte and her much more time-efficient mode of employment. I’d never even taken a week off, only days here and there around the holidays to visit family but seldom friends. I didn’t feel like my life had turned me jaded over the years, but simply living in the city, dealing with a very different kind of schedule while being unable to talk about it to most people had slowly made socializing with anyone I’d known from before difficult, if not a bother. Now I could catch up on all of that, but I really didn’t want to. My life was here, with Darren, and while that thought still made me a little uneasy because of the strange newness of the very idea, it also had me grinning at megawatt strength.
I still jumped when my phone—the one phone I kept—went off, Darren’s name on caller ID making me even more eager to pick up than I’d already been. It had been a long three hours of rearranging my bedroom.
“Hey there,” I greeted him, feeling my face split in two with a grin of anticipation. Last night, after Brigitte had hung up on me, I hadn’t felt like calling him anymore, particularly with the Juliette business still on my mind, but, as they say, a good night’s sleep had done wonders to righten my perspective. Since then I’d just waited for the right time to break the news.
“Hey, you,” he replied, his voice soft and suave as usual. “I hope I’m not interrupting?”
“No, no, just sitting around, doing nothing.”
He snorted, likely not believing my claim.
“It’s probably a little too last minute, but are you free tonight? I have to take some of my dullest clients out to dinner, and everything would be so much more bearable with you at my side.”
My moment to shine had arrived, I just knew it. This was exactly the kind of opportunity I’d been waiting for, and not just to update him on my life.
“No problem at all. Just tell me where and when you want me?”
“Right here, right now, all the damn time?” He laughed, then gave me the address, making me pause for a moment.
“I hope you’ve made reservations? Their waiting list is serious business. I’ve been trying to get a reservation several times, and they’ve always busted my schedule.”
“Don’t worry, I have everything covered,” he drawled, then paused. “Not that I’m complaining, but aren’t you usually booked Wednesday night? I hope you’re not blowing off some poor schmuck for me.”
“No, not an issue. My schedule’s free.” I probably should have waited until later, but my entire body was vibrating with excitement, and I just couldn’t hold back any longer. “Actually, my entire schedule is free from here on out. I quit!”
It was so hard not to succumb to the temptation to squeal, but my excitement was still ringing clearly from my voice.
“You quit? As in quit, quit?” Darren asked, laughter evident in his voice now, too.
“Yup. As of last night, I’m officially not a working girl anymore. I’m all yours.”
Still smiling brightly, I counted the seconds until his reply—two—feeling like my heart was soaring even more than a minute ago.
“That’s simply—“ he started, then trailed off, clearing his throat. “Definitely something to celebrate.”
“We’ll have all the time in the world for that,” I promised. “After you let me wow your boring clients and turn what might have been a dreadful event into the perfect evening.”
“You’ve already accomplished that,” he replied, ending with a small laugh. “I’m so proud of you. And happy, for you. You deserve so much more.”
Any girl would likely have gone crazy over statements like that, but I couldn’t quell the love and happiness suffusing every single fiber of my being, and didn’t even try to do so.
“I love you.” The first time that I could say it without feeling even a thread of guilt, and that was a wonderful thing.
“I love you, too,” he replied, then hung up, leaving me walking on clouds for the remainder of the afternoon.
I had never slummed it with any of my clients—except for those who requested a less polished girl—but tonight I paid special attention to make sure that everything about me was impeccable. Perfect makeup, perfect hairdo, perfect dress—in short, I was perfect. And not just the perfect woman for Darren, or his clients, but the very best version of me. I felt strong and confident and free, and I could tell that people around me were picking up on it. The cab driver wished me a nice evening even before I tipped him, no one held me up as I walked into the restaurant and up to the hostess, and she didn’t even bat an eyelash when I told her under whose name the reservation was and yes, I was happy to wait at the bar for the rest of my party to arrive.
I ordered a cocktail, not too conscious about how much alcohol I was allowing myself to consume tonight. Not that I had any intentions of getting wasted—far from it. Even if it had been just Darren and me I wouldn’t, but even less so as this was a business dinner—but it was an incredible feeling to know that my security and maybe life didn’t depend on retaining the full use of my faculties tonight. Also no need to check in with anyone, or make sure that I had the means to get myself out of any potentially nasty situation.
Just a night out on the town with the man I loved, and not a care in the world besides that.
As I sipped my cocktail—something strong but not too sweet, coming with an insane name that I forgot immediately and didn’t have to feel bad about said negligence—I looked around me, observing the people coming and going. Of course I’d been to similar establishments before, but I’d never felt completely at home here. On my own I wouldn’t have gotten a reservation, let alone had the liquidity to afford it without caring about the price tags attached to everything. I had always been the girl who didn’t quite belong, looking in from outside. Not that much had changed now, but that feeling of estrangement had lessened somehow. Darren and I might not have succumbed to the inane customs of “defining” our relationship, but there was no doubt about the fact that I was the woman in his life. His woman. And right now that was the most wonderful thing in the world.
I didn’t have to wait long for a tall man in an impeccable suit to step up to me, his scent preceding him as he leaned close, quickly followed by his hand touching down gently on my elbow. Turning, I beamed up at Darren, and he didn’t hesitate to lean in, capturing my lips with the softest of kisses. Always conscious about PDA in public, I knew that would be as far as he’d go out here in the open, but I certainly didn’t mind.
“Hi,” I whispered against his lips, our gazes locking.
“Hi,” he murmured back, his voice reverent, the look in his eyes adoring.
“I was a little early. I hope you don’t mind?”
“Not at all,” he assured me, then waited for me to vacate my place and grab my drink before he extended his arm for me.
Presently, the hostess appeared at his side and led us deeper into the premises, then upstairs to what I presumed were the more exclusive spots. I was surprised that the table she showed us to only had two places set, and when I cocked my head at Darren, he smiled brightly.
“The advantage of being a junior partner is that you can always laud clients up to the senior partners if you want to get rid of them fast. I probably owe Alison a kidney or part of my liver now, but it was worth it.”
I couldn’t
help but laugh at the way he briefly grimaced, then flipped back to smiling at me. Reaching across the table, I grabbed his hand and squeezed, his warm, strong fingers closing around mine.
“I still don’t quite believe that I did it. Just quit, I mean. I’m not delusional. I knew that this day was coming, but I never expected it to be here so soon.” I cut off there before I could succumb to rambling, but Darren took it with an easy smile as his thumb kept stroking the back of my hand.
“Some things you simply can’t plan for. They just happen,” he replied.
“That they do,” I agreed, then looked away for a moment when a sudden bout of emotion drove tears into my eyes. Oh, great, and now, on top of everything else, I was about to evolve into a girly girl!
“Something wrong?” he asked, immediately at attention. “Something I said?”
“No, no, of course not.” I was quick to alleviate his fears. “I’m just happy. And as sad as that sounds, I’m simply not used to feeling quite so…”
“Overwhelmed?” he suggested.
“Yeah.”
This time I was glad when Darren ordered for me because the menu kept blurring in front of my eyes, and he had excellent taste. We spent the entire six-course meal talking about nonsense, really, but my mind wasn’t up to much more. I had the time of my life, but eventually wished it would just be over so it could be just him and me, alone, where we could celebrate in a different way.
