by Kira Barker
Darren went utterly still, and for a moment I was actually afraid he would get up and come after me. But that was an absurd notion. He’d never even shown the slightest indication of getting violent. That only proved that we really needed to have that talk.
“I don’t want you to continue to keep company like that. She’s a bad influence on you.”
Blinking, I wondered if I’d heard that right.
“Are you serious? You can’t just tell me who I can or cannot see or talk to anymore.”
“Looks like I can, in fact, because I just did,” he replied, then relented. “Don’t you see that she’s just using your insecurity against you? She wants her top earner back, that’s all. She never really cared about you, but keeping you in moderately good health ensured that you wouldn’t fall short of your earnings. Or do you really think that otherwise her first suggestion would be to try to talk you back into a job you hated when you gave it up?”
Something else I hated right then was how he always managed to turn things around. Only that this time I wasn’t going to let him.
“We need to talk, and I’m not going to let you sidetrack me. You don’t have time now? Fine, we’ll talk tonight. When can I expect you home? Just so I know when to get back, because I’m not spending one minute I don’t have to alone with that creep of a butler.”
Darren shook his head and looked away, dismissing me, then mumbled something about eight, possibly nine. I waited for more to come, maybe a “Sorry that I’m such an ass,” or “I love you,” but he was lost to the world again. So I did the only thing I could do, and left.
After storming out of Darren’s office, I was too upset for any mindless tasks like shopping, and I hated the idea of just driving around aimlessly where I was alone with my thoughts. With Brigitte definitely off my list of options, there was only one place in the city I wanted to go—Adam’s.
I pulled up in front of the house, and immediately my roiling stomach quieted a little. Right where I had expected it to be sat the unobtrusive SUV with the surveillance team. Feeling a little cheeky, I ambled the Jaguar across the street and into the spot directly in front of the car. Through the windshield I flashed the two agents on duty a bright grin, then got out and walked into the building. For years I had been annoyed by their presence, but for the first time I was glad that the team was around. That meant Adam was here, too, and unlike everyone else in my life of late, I knew that he couldn’t avoid me.
Upstairs in the hallway I lingered for a second, but there was no reason to look into my empty apartment except to remind myself of how drastically things had changed. Taking heart, I walked up to Adam’s door and rang the bell, then knocked to let him know that his visitor was already upstairs.
For an ungodly amount of time I heard nothing, but then a light scraping sound let me know that someone was still alive in the apartment. Focusing on the peephole, I saw a glimmer of light there before it went dark again, then nothing.
“I know you can see me,” I called out. “You should have kept the light in the hallway off if you want me to think you’re not there. Besides, I already saw the suits lurking downstairs. I know you’re in there, Adam!”
Silence answered me, followed by some shuffling noises.
“Go away.”
I couldn’t keep the frown off my face at his rejection.
“Seriously? Open the damn door!” When that didn’t accomplish anything, I added, “Please?”
Still nothing.
Sighing heavily, I leaned against the wood, wondering if Adam was doing the same.
“Look, I’m just here to talk, okay? Things aren’t going so well, and I could really use a friend. Adam?”
At least ten painful seconds ticked by, then I heard the telltale sounds of his security locks disengaging one after the other. He was kind of a nutjob about that, but then I could see where he’d glean some satisfaction out of making Agent Smith wait every time she came over.
The door opened but barely more than a crack, giving me just a glimpse of dark hoodie and faded jeans.
“Are you still mad at me?” I asked, my heart sinking. “Come on, let me in.”
“I’m really not in the mood to talk,” came his reply, slightly slurred. Frowning, I tried to get a better look at him, but Adam was still mostly hidden behind the door.
“What’s wrong with your voice?”
“Nothing is wrong with my voice!” he bit out, then flung open the door, making me stagger forward a step or two. “It’s my whole fucking face!”
That was an understatement as I discovered, looking up at him. There was a huge, mottled bruise spanning the entire right side of his jaw, still purple in the middle but fading into a yellowish green on the outside. A cut in his lip and another on his brow were scabbed over, the latter looking as if it had required stitches. The skin around his left eye was still swollen and red, likely having been swollen shut before today or yesterday. In short, he looked a complete mess, and I couldn’t hold back a gasp.
“What happened to you?”
Instinctively reaching out toward him, I shied back when he pushed my hand away.
“What happened to me? Rather, who happened to me! And don’t pretend like you don’t know!” he pressed out, seething with anger.
“Of course I don’t know!” I cried, a wave of helplessness and dread sweeping through me. “What do you mean? How should I know? I haven’t been here in two weeks!”
Adam kept staring at me, his chest heaving with every agitated breath. He narrowed his eyes, then winced and forced his face to ease up again, but that didn’t diminish the potency of his glare.
“How about your husband did this?”
That was about the last thing I’d expected.
“My—what?”
Adam snorted, which went over marginally better than the frowning.
“You know exactly who I mean, your cherished Darren darling? Or rather, his doberman of a street thug, but he took pains telling me explicitly in whose name he was acting.”
“Who, James?”
Not that I didn’t think the recalcitrant bodyguard-slash-butler wouldn’t be capable of roughing someone up, but the whole situation was simply so… completely insane.
“He didn’t give his name, but how many thugs does he keep around? No, wait, don’t answer that question because I really don’t need to know. His message was received loud and clear. We’re done.”
With that, he tried to close the door, but I managed to wedge my knee and shoulder into the gap, and as he didn’t seem to want to physically kick me out, he relented after he felt me push back at him.
“That just doesn’t make any sense!” I whispered, then said louder, “Are you sure that it was him? It could have been anyone claiming to—“
“Yes, I am sure,” he grunted, then winced again as he shifted his weight to the other side. “He made sure to repeat the exact same words to me that your fucking lunatic already growled to me in the hallway that day you walked in on us. Trust me, I’m not going to forget that any time soon!”
The breath slowly leaking out of me felt as if it was taking part of my life force with it. For several seconds I could just stare at Adam, my head and heart hurting for him. And ever so slowly, an iron band of dread started to close around my chest, squeezing harder and harder until it was almost impossible to breathe.
“I’m so, so sorry,” I murmured, not even sure why I was apologizing, and what for. But that this was my fault, at least in part, was out of the question.
Adam kept glaring back at me, but then he sighed again and shook his head before he stepped back to let me in. I followed him into his apartment, making sure to close the door behind me. Looking around, I instinctively found myself searching for signs of a fight, but his usual chaos was reigning, making it unlikely to determine the reason why everything looked randomly strewn about. Then again, I doubted he’d done that damage to himself just to prove a point to me.
Sagging down on one end of t
he sofa, he waited until I’d taken my place just as gingerly. His eyes never strayed from my face, but I couldn’t hold his gaze for more than a moment or two.
“I just don’t understand,” I started, but then cut off. The bad thing was, while I couldn’t justify these actions, I also couldn’t deny that they were entirely in the realm of what Darren was capable of. Shit.
“What’s not to understand?” Adam jeered, then coughed, making him double over with a hand pressed into his side. I came up, trying to reach for him, but he sent me scrambling back with a hard look. “Isn’t it obvious? He doesn’t want anyone poking around his secrets. I thought I had my ass covered, but apparently, I was wrong.”
My mind took a moment to make sense of that.
“You mean about Juliette?”
Adam gave a curt nod.
“Of course I looked into it. Even if I didn’t find anything that would make you rethink, I was curious. You don’t just make people disappear without a trace, not nowadays. At least I wanted to find out how he had pulled it off. For, you know…” He didn’t need to explain that it was certainly a skill that might come in handy for him when he finally decided that he was done working for the US government.
Screwing my eyes shut, I rubbed my temple, trying to stave off the dawning tension headache forming there.
“I found out last week. She was just one of his other whores.”
When I peered up at Adam, I expected scorn, or maybe exasperation, but he was just looking back at me with sadness clouding his features.
“I told you that guy was dangerous,” he said. “Penelope, you need to get away from him. Right fucking now.”
I knew that he was right, but just the thought of abandoning Darren like that was enough to close down my airways.
“I can’t. Not without clearing things up first.”
“What is there to clear up?” Adam asked, anger leaking back into his voice. “That guy paid someone to rough me up just because I dared to snoop around his ex-hookers. He sent his thug to beat me up so badly that I had to spend a night in the hospital! I guess I should be grateful that he didn’t outright kill me or something? Is that the kind of man you want to spend the rest of your life with?”
Exhaling slowly, I forced myself to hold his gaze.
“I know that Darren’s not perfect, but—“
“No but! There is no fucking excuse for this!” He gestured at his face. “And do you really think he will stop with me? What do you think will happen when you have a fight? Or someone else pisses him off that he can’t send someone after and he needs a punching bag to unwind?”
“I know,” I whispered, my voice so low that I wasn’t sure he even heard. And still, that didn’t change a thing. “I know you don’t understand, but I have to talk to him about this.”
Adam shook his head, then looked away as he came to his feet.
“You still don’t believe me, do you? You say you do, but deep down, you don’t. How can you be so fucking delusional?”
“Because I love him!” I cried out, straightening. “I know that he could, hypothetically, order someone to do something like this, but that’s not who he is! I know him better than that, he wouldn’t do something like that! Not to someone I care about!”
I was aware of the faults in my logic, but just couldn’t help myself.
Not even looking in my direction, Adam started shuffling toward the door.
“Then go back to him, by all means. Ask him why he had me beat up to within an inch of my life. Oh, and while you’re at it, ask him why he had tracking software on your tablet installed, likely also on your phone. Wonder what he’ll say about that? Just to make sure you don’t get lost on the way to the spa, huh?”
I’d been following him slowly down the hallway, but that made me stop in my tracks.
“What are you talking about?”
He slowly turned to face me, a sardonic smile on his face.
“Oh, that finally gets your attention? That software problem with your tablet? It was some nifty coded malware deeply imbedded in the operating system. Before I did the complete wipe, I cloned your system and kept that backup copy for myself to later puzzle out what made everything run amok. Turns out, it was a tracker, remotely activating the GPS of your tablet even when you thought you’d shut it down. It was really quite the nut to crack, took me half a night. I was sure that I’d cleaned it up completely, but when I traced it earlier this week, I could easily hack into it from here. You were reading in what I presume was the den downstairs, and your phone was upstairs in the bedroom. Takes some military grade stuff to pinpoint location that precisely. The crap your devices come with initially is barely good enough to narrow down a block, let alone a single house.”
I just couldn’t believe what he was saying.
“Why didn’t you call me?”
He shrugged.
“That was the day after I got home from this.” He pointed at his bruised face. “I wasn’t feeling too generous about you just then.”
Maybe it was a sign that I was a truly egotistical bitch, but somehow this tidbit disturbed me even more than what had happened to Adam. It felt more personal, more intrusive.
The following silence stretched and became uncomfortable, but I really didn’t know what else to say.
“What are you going to do now?” he asked, surprisingly gentle. “I’d offer you to stay here, but that would likely be the second place he’d come looking for you.”
I asked myself the same thing, but came up blank.
“A hotel, maybe.” But even as I said that, I knew that I had to confront him. Suddenly, our little spat from earlier seemed so very insignificant.
“That would be the wise thing to do,” Adam pointed out. “The sane thing, you know?”
I nodded, then couldn’t help but get out my phone and look at it.
“What shall I do about this?”
He shrugged.
“He likely knows already that you were here, or if he wasn’t tracking you in real time, he’ll know as soon as he checks the logs. There’s a good chance that he has also installed a software to track your calls, maybe even to access the microphone when you weren’t even speaking. He could be listening in right now. How cozy and loved does that make you feel?”
The worst part about this was that I was starting to see how it all fit together. Misplaced trust and twisted possessiveness, all bundled up with too many resources at hand that made it all happen. Why couldn’t I have fallen in love with a coffee shop or fast-food chain worker who could barely cobble together the change for a cab fare?
“I don’t know,” I replied truthfully, then put my phone back into my bag, even though it seemed to burn like a furnace there. “It still comes down to the same thing. He and I need to have a talk.”
Adam shook his head but didn’t try to stop me.
“You gotta do what you gotta do,” he called after me, then added a short bark of laughter. “But I’m going to invite the guys downstairs up for a poker night. You should maybe do the same. I’m sure that somewhere in their division there must be someone who’d cut you a phenomenal deal in exchange for bringing down Darren Hunter.”
There wasn’t anything else I could add, so I wished him goodbye and made my way to the elevator. Adam remained standing there, looking after me, until the elevator doors closed between us.
I got back into the car with a certain feeling of finality settling over me. Before, I’d thought I would have to steel myself for one hell of a fight. Now I knew I was riding head-on into battle.
Chapter 28
The drive home wasn’t the most comfortable affair.
For one thing, all the tools and comforts that I had so enjoyed about my life had suddenly turned against me. Not having owned a car before, I didn’t know the city well enough not to rely on the car’s navigational system, but just touching the “home” button now gave me the creeps. My phone I didn’t even want to think about. The urge to blast music at top volume to
scramble any ambient noise—not that I was talking to myself or something—was getting stronger with every mile the Jaguar ate.
For another, my mind was in complete shambles. My chest was hurting, and it was hard to draw deep, even breaths. My hands were shaking when I wasn’t gripping the steering wheel hard enough to make my knuckles stand out white. I had known from a few past encounters that emotional turmoil could seep over into physical discomfort, but what I was feeling now was going well beyond that.
Anger. Betrayal. Fear. But also love. Compassion. Yearning.
It was clear to me now that things had been going on for a while that I had been completely oblivious of. Maybe if I hadn’t been so lost in my own emotional chaos I might have picked up on some of them, but I had to admit that I wasn’t always the most observant, perceptive person in the world. My focus had always remained on people’s reactions and how to anticipate their needs, not interpret any quirks I couldn’t change.
The foremost questions I asked myself were why Darren was doing this, and exactly how far his obsession with me went. That this was some kind of obsessive behavior was a given. You didn’t just up and bug your fiancée’s phone because you were bored. Now all the times he’d called me his wife already made my skin crawl just thinking of them. I’d explained that away as a strange but forgivable mistake, and kind of cute. I’d never expected to find a man who was so forgiving about my past and happy to embrace me into his life, so it had actually played on my vanity, too. See, I wasn’t that much of a lost cause that he couldn’t love me as if I were just any other woman.
Now I was wondering just how deep that obsession went, and how unpredictable it made him. After all, he’d been quick to sequester me from the outside world, and his repeated insistence that I distance myself from Brigitte and Adam was cast into a very different light now. Then again, at the party he hadn’t blinked an eye when I’d disappeared several times to look after things, and I was sure that he was aware that Ray and I had been talking. He’d encouraged me to seek other people’s company rather than stay with him. Just the right kind of people, the people he approved of, rather than my friends. This just didn’t make any sense.
