by Lee Hall
Max I think I once gave a lecture at the University of Missouri.
Diana I was in the audience. I had a terrible schoolgirl crush on you for a couple of months.
Max If we can get back for a moment to the bit of the conversation where you hadn’t ruled out emotional involvements with middle-aged men … What are you doing for dinner tonight?
Diana calls somebody.
Diana I can’t make it tonight, love. Call me tomorrow.
Max Do you have any favourite restaurants?
Diana I eat anything.
Max Son of a bitch, I get the feeling I’m being made.
Diana You are.
Max I better warn you, I don’t do anything on the first date.
Diana We’ll see about that.
SCENE SEVENTEEN
HOWARD HAS A VISION
Suddenly Howard appears out of the darkness like a ghost. His face is lit up – he is clearly terrified.
Howard Hello. Hello?
He listens intently.
I can’t hear you. Speak a little louder.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
He appears to hear something we cannot.
Why me? I said, why me?
He listens again, then answers.
OK!
OK!
SCENE EIGHTEEN
THE HIP RESTAURANT
Diana and Max have supper.
Diana I was married for four years and pretended to be happy and had six years of analysis and pretended to be sane. My husband ran off with his boyfriend and I had an affair with my analyst. He told me I was the worst lay he had ever had. I can’t tell you how many men have told me what a lousy lay I am. I apparently have a masculine temperament. I arouse quickly, consummate prematurely and can’t wait to get my clothes back on and get out of the bedroom. I seem to be inept at everything except my work. I’m good at my work and so I confine myself to that. All I want out of life is a 30 share and a 20 rating. You’re married surely?
Max Twenty-five years. I have a married daughter in Seattle who’s six months pregnant and a younger girl who starts Northwestern in January.
Diana Well, Max, here we are. Middle-aged man reaffirming his middle-aged manhood and a terrified young woman with a father complex. What sort of script do you think we can make out of this?
Max Terrified?
Diana Out of my skull. I’m the hip generation, man, right on, cool, groovy, the greening of America, remember all that? God, what humbugs we were. In my first year at college I lived in a commune, dropped acid daily, fucked myself silly on a bare wooden floor with someone who chanted Sufi suras. I lost six weeks of my sophomore year because they put me away for trying to jump off the top floor of the Administration Building. Am I scaring you?
Max The corporate gossip says you’re Frank Hatchett’s backstage floozie.
Diana Frank’s a corporation man, body and soul. He has no loves, lusts or allegiances that are not consummately directed towards becoming a CCA board member. So why should he bother with me? I’m not even a stockholder.
Max How about your loves, lusts and allegiances?
Diana Is your wife in town?
Max Yes.
Diana We better go to my place.
SCENE NINETEEN
HOWARD ON TV
Howard sits at his desk and addresses the audience, his image large and repeated on the bank of screens. No cameramen and paraphernalia – it’s just Howard on set.
Howard Last night I was awakened from a fitful sleep by a shrill, faceless voice from a figure sitting in my rocking chair. I couldn’t make it out at first in the dark bedroom. I said, ‘I’m sorry, you’ll have to talk a little louder.’ And the Voice said to me, ‘I want you to tell the people the truth, not an easy thing to do, because the people don’t want to know the truth.’ I said, ‘You’re kidding. How the hell would I know what the truth is?’ But the Voice said to me, ‘Don’t worry about the truth. I’ll put the words in your mouth.’ And I said, ‘What is this, the burning bush? For God’s sake, I’m not Moses.’ And the Voice said to me, ‘And I’m not God, what’s that got to do with it?’ And the Voice said ‘We’re not talking about eternal truth or absolute truth or ultimate truth! We’re talking about impermanent, transient, human truth! I don’t expect you people to be capable of truth! But goddammit, you’re at least capable of self-preservation! That’s good enough!’
The lights go out on Howard but his speech continues on the monitors around the auditorium and we find ourselves in Max’s office, where Max and Hunter are watching the performance on a TV monitor.
(On TV.) ‘I want you to go out and tell people to preserve themselves.’
Hunter What do you want me to do?
Max Nothing. Right now I’m just trying to remember the psychiatrist that took care of him when his wife died.
Diana comes in, watches Max.
Howard (on TV) And I said to the Voice. ‘Why me?’ And the Voice said: ‘Because you’re on television, dummy.’
Diana Beautiful.
Howard (on monitor) ‘You have forty million Americans listening to you. After tonight’s show you could have fifty million.’
Howard himself walks into the room. He watches himself without saying anything.
(On TV.) ‘For Pete’s sake, I don’t expect you to walk the land in sackcloth and ashes preaching the Armageddon. You’re on teevee, man!’ So I thought for a moment. And then I said ‘OK.’
Max turns the TV off.
Max I’m taking you off the air, Howard. I’m calling your psychiatrist.
Howard This is not a psychotic episode. It is a cleansing moment of clarity. I am imbued, Max. I am imbued with a special spirit. A shocking eruption of great electrical energy as if suddenly I had been plugged into some great cosmic electromagnetic field. I feel connected to some great unseen force – what, I think, the Hindus call Prana.
Max Howard, I think you are having a breakdown.
Howard I have never felt so orderly in my life. It is a shattering and beautiful sensation. I feel on the verge of some great ultimate truth. You will not take me off air, Max, not now nor any other goddam time.
Max You are losing your mind, Howard. You’re becoming a dupe for this stupid organisation. You don’t have to do this.
Howard Max, I am impelled to do this. This is my calling. And neither you nor anyone else is going to stand in my goddam way.
Max OK, Howard, but at least come home with me and get a good night’s sleep.
SCENE TWENTY
HOWARD AT MAX’S PLACE
We move to Max’s house. Thunder. Rain outside. Night. Max’s wife Louise is helping Max make up a bed on a sofa.
Louise Last night you don’t come back at all. Tonight you show up with the raving Jeremiah.
Max I’m sorry, I couldn’t leave him. He’s mad as a snake.
Howard comes in in his pyjamas, completely calm.
Howard Thank you, Lou, I really don’t mean to put you out.
Louise It’s OK. You can stay as long as you want, Howard. Nightcap?
Howard I think I need one.
Louise Honey?
Max Sure.
She goes to prepare some drinks.
Listen, Howard, I’m pulling the plug on this whole screwball angry prophet thing. Tomorrow night we’re going back to straight news.
Howard You can’t do that, Max.
Max You’re making a jackass out of me, Howard. You’re making a jackass out of yourself. Everyone’s just gotten a little overexcited. Let’s just go back to what we do.
Howard What we do is lie, Max.
Max I’ll find you this drink.
He leaves Howard on his own and joins his wife.
Louise Where were you last night, Max?
Max I told you, I stayed with Howard.
As Max and his wife have their scene, Howard is on his own again. He seems attentive to some unseen force.
Louise Howard called here at three in the morning looking for you.
Max is busted but we concentrate on Howard.
Howard (addressing the unseen force) Yes, I am coming. I am coming.
Howard gets up and leaves.
Louise What is going on?
Max Nothing is going on. It’s been a very difficult week.
He kisses her, takes the two glasses of whisky out of her hands and goes back to where Howard was sitting.
Howard? Howard?
SCENE TWENTY-ONE
HACKETT’S OFFICE
Hackett What do you mean, you don’t know where he is? The son of a bitch is a hit, goddammit, Over two thousand phone calls. Go down to the mailroom. As of this minute, over fourteen thousand telegrams. The response is sensational. Harry, tell him. Harry’s phone hasn’t stopped ringing. Every goddam affiliate from Albuquerque to Sandusky. The response is sensational. We’ve got a goddam hit, a goddam hit. Diana, show him the Times. We’ve got an editorial in the holy goddam New York Times. That crazy son of a bitch Beale has caught on. So don’t tell me you don’t know where he is.
Max I don’t know where he is. He may be jumping off a roof for all I know. He needs care and treatment. He’s manifestly losing his mind and all you graverobbers are concerned about is he’s a hit.
Diana But Max, what if he is in fact imbued with some special spirit?
Max My God, I’m supposed to be the romantic. You’re supposed to be the hard-bitten realist.
Diana All right. Howard Beale obviously fills a void. The audience out there obviously wants a prophet, even a manufactured one, even if he’s as mad as Moses. By tomorrow he’ll have a 50 share, maybe even a 60. Howard Beale is processed instant God, and right now it looks like he may just go over bigger than Mary Tyler Moore.
Max I’m not putting Howard back on air. We’re going back to straight news.
Hackett You don’t get to say jack shit, Schumacher, you don’t even know where he is.
Diana Anyway, it’s not your show any more, Max. It’s mine.
Hackett I gave her the show, Schumacher. I’m putting the network news under Programming.
Max Does Ruddy know about this?
Hackett Mr Ruddy has had a mild heart attack and is not taking calls.
Max A heart attack!
Hackett He’ll live, most likely. But in his lamented absence, I’m making all network decisions, including one I’ve been wanting to make a very long time. You’re fired. I want you out of this building by the time this show starts. I’ll leave word with the security guards to throw you out if you’re still here.
Max Well, let’s just say fuck you, Hackett. You want me out, you’re gonna have to drag me out kicking and screaming. And the whole News Division kicking and screaming with me.
Hackett You think they’re going to quit their jobs for you? Not in a recession, buddy.
Max When Ruddy gets back he’ll have your ass.
Hackett I got a hit, Schumacher, and Ruddy doesn’t count any more. He was hoping I’d fall on my face with this Beale show, but I didn’t. It’s a big, fat, big-titted hit, and I don’t have to waffle around with Ruddy any more. If he wants to take me up before the CCA board let him. And do you think Ruddy’s stupid enough to go to the CCA board and say, ‘I’m taking our one hit show off the air’? And come October fourteen, I’m going to be standing up there at the annual CCA management review meeting, and I’m going to announce projected earnings for this network for the first time in five years. And believe me, Mr Jensen will be sitting there rocking back and forth in his little chair, and he’s gonna say, ‘That’s very good, Frank, keep it up. So don’t have any illusions about who’s running this network from now on. You’re fired.
Harry Hunter What are we going to do? It’s three minutes to.
Hackett Put Snowden on while we track down Beale. (To Max.) I want you out of your office before noon. Or I’ll have you thrown out.
Max And you’re going to go along with this?
Diana Well, Max, I told you I didn’t want any network hassle. I told you I’d much rather work the Beale show out just between the two of us.
Max Well, let’s just say fuck you too, honey. Howard Beale may be my best friend. I’ll go to court, I’ll put him in a hospital before I let you exploit him like a carnival freak.
Hackett You get your psychiatrists, and I’ll get mine.
Max I’m going to spread this whole reeking business in every paper and on every network, independent, group and affiliated station in this country. I’m going to make a lot of noise about this.
Hackett Great. We need all the press we can get.
Max stalks out.
(To Diana.) Something going on between you and Schumacher?
Diana Not any more.
Hackett Where the fuck is Howard Beale?
SCENE TWENTY-TWO
HOWARD RETURNS TO THE NIGHTLY NEWS
The studio team rush to get Snowden ready to go on camera. Diana is watching anxiously as Snowden is miked up in Howard’s chair. Hackett is stalking behind Diana.
Hackett This is a fucking disaster. How could you have lost the most famous man on television?
Diana Is Snowden ready?
Director (through the intercom) Is Snowden ready?
Floor Manager We are just sorting out the sound.
Harry Hunter Hell of a way to start your first show.
Diana Bang goes my career.
Floor Manager Twenty-five seconds.
Hackett I thought you said you’d find him. / I’ve put my ass on the line for this stupid schmuck.
Director Quiet in the studio. Give me Camera-A.
Floor Manager Check.
Director Sound?
Floor Manager Not yet.
Director Camera-B.
Floor Manager Check.
Director Sound?
Sound Guy Ready.
Floor Manager Jack is ready. We have sound.
Studio ready. Clear positions.
We have clearance.
In the control room the countdown starts:
Production Assistant Ten … nine … eight … seven … six … five …
Director Continuity.
The Continuity Announcer appears on the monitors telling us:
Continuity Announcer It’s time for Tonight, with Jack Snowden.
Director Cue music.
Production Assistant Three … two … one.
The theme music blasts out, the Floor Manager is shouting over the top of this:
Director Titles, credits, camera and action!
Snowden Good evening. It is Thursday, October the second. This is Jack Snowden and this is the news.
Howard arrives in the studio in a raincoat over his pyjamas, soaked to the skin.
Howard Stop!
Snowden is stunned by the intrusion.
I have come to make my witness.
Diana Put him on.
The cameras follow Howard as he takes his seat.
Howard I don’t have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. Everybody’s out of work or scared of losing their job, the dollar buys a nickel’s worth, banks are going bust, shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter, punks are running wild in the streets, and there’s nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do and there’s no end to it.
We know the air’s unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat and we sit and watch our teevees while some local newscaster tells us today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that’s the way it’s supposed to be. We all know things are bad. Worse than bad. They’re crazy. It’s like everything’s going crazy. So we don’t go out any more. We sit in the house and slowly the world we live in gets smaller and all we ask is, please, at least leave us alone in our own living rooms. Let me have my toaster and teevee and my hairdryer and my steel-belted radials and I won’t say anything, just leave us alone. Well, I’m not going to leave you alone. I want you to get mad.
He gets up from his desk and walks to the front of the set.
&n
bsp; Diana Oh my God, he’s good.
Howard I don’t want you to protest. I don’t want you to riot. I don’t want you to write to your congressmen. Because I wouldn’t know what to tell you to write. I don’t know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the defence budget and the Russians and crime in the street. All I know is, first you’ve got to get mad. You’ve got to say: ‘I’m a human being, goddammit. My life has value.’ So I want you to get up right now. I want you to get out of your chairs and go to the window. Right now. I want you to go to the window, open it and stick your head out and yell. I want you to yell, ‘I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take this any more.’
Diana How many stations does this go out to?
Hunter Sixty-seven. I know it goes to Louisville and Atlanta. I think –
Howard Get up from your chairs. Go to the window. Open it. Stick out your head and yell. And keep yelling. First you’ve got to get mad. When you’re mad enough we’ll figure out what to do. Stick your head out and yell, ‘I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more.’ ‘I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more.’ ‘I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more.’
A Technician in the studio shouts out:
Technician I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more.
Howard That’s right. I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more.
Diana Do we have an outside broadcast?
Director Joe’s in Atlanta.
Harry Hunter Show me Atlanta.
