Between You and Me

by Lynn Turner

  “So I’m an idiot because I didn’t see it?”

  “You know that’s not what I meant!”

  “Finn, I can’t do this right now. I just broke someone’s heart and I feel pretty shitty about it, okay? I don’t have feelings for Philip but I consider him my friend. I hated doing that and you’re making me feel like I didn’t break it badly enough for your liking.”

  “Emanuela—”

  “What?” Her voice cracked.

  “I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry.” He cursed again. “I’m going crazy here. I miss you, and hearing him ask you to dinner just made me feel even farther away than I already am.”

  “I know how hard this is, Finn.”

  “Do you?”

  “Of course I do! I’m in it, too! The situation isn’t any easier for me.”

  “Did you let him say it?”

  Emanuela sighed.

  “Did you?”

  “He didn’t try! If he’d tried, I would have stopped him.”

  “Jesus, Emmi. Why?”

  “Because,” she said, exasperated. “People say it all the time, even when it isn’t true. I don’t want you to say it right after we make love or right after we fight. Emotions are all over the place. I want you to be sure.”

  “I am sure.”

  “How can you be sure right now? We’re fighting.”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re angry.”

  “Not anymore. And even when I was, I lo—”

  “Don’t!”

  “Dammit, Emanuela!”

  She burst into tears.

  “I do, Emmi,” he said, softly. “I love you. Right now, I don’t know whether I should throw my phone or climb through it somehow and hold you until you believe me.”

  “I—thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me,” he said, tenderly. “I just wanted you to know. I needed you to know.”

  She sniffed. “I’m sorry.”

  “I won’t rush you. I don’t want you to feel pressured to say something you don’t feel or do something you aren’t ready to do. But I can’t keep things bottled up. I’m not wired that way. I need an outlet, so unless you want me to proclaim my undying affection to Simon—”

  Emanuela laughed. It sounded hearty, almost hysterical, even to her own ears.

  “Emmi?”

  “I’m not prone to emotional outbursts, but I was so stressed out. I thought I was going to lose a friend and have to quit my job.”

  “And now? Are you okay? Will you and Philip be okay?”

  He was trying. For her. She smiled. “I’m okay, and I think my friendship with Philip will be okay too. He was hurt but he seemed to take it well, considering the mixed signals.”

  “Because you think he’s hot.”

  She laughed. “Well…”

  “Don’t tease me, Emmi. I’m hanging on by a thread here…and you made me miss my ferry.”

  “I’m sorry. I promise I’ll make it up to you,” she said in an unmistakably seductive tone.

  “You’re killing me.”

  “Not yet.”

  ****

  “I’m afraid of heights, Em.”

  “I know.”

  “And I hate popcorn.”

  “I know.”

  “So why the hell are we doing this again?”

  “Because I like those things and you’re here for me, remember?” Emanuela reminded Allie as they buckled their lap belts and prepared to ascend into the darkening New York skyline. “Plus, you can’t run out on me if we’re in midair.”

  Emanuela loved the feeling she got in the pit of her stomach from riding Ferris wheels. It was the closest sensation to taking off in a big commercial airliner. Its steady climb and aerial views stripped the worries of the world away, if only for fleeting moments. It made her feel weightless. Comforted.

  The Coney Island Wonder Wheel churned to life, and Allie clenched her teeth, gripping the cool steel handlebars. “The last time we did this, your mom showed up out of the blue.”

  Emanuela took the redhead’s trembling hand in both of hers and sighed. They were overdressed for the half-full ride, theirs one of the last turns it would take that evening. The sun was finishing its descent.

  “What’s wrong, Em? Why the S.O.S.?”

  “Philip loves me,” she said flatly, looking down at their hands.

  “Seriously? Em! You brought me here for that! I could KILL you!”

  “What? You knew?”

  “Of course I knew! Don’t give me that look. I would have told you if you really wanted to know. We both know you didn’t, so there’s no story here.”

  Emanuela looked out at the navy skyline. Navy. She smiled.

  “What the hell, Em?”

  “I love him, Allie,” Emanuela whispered, still looking straight ahead. “I love Finn, and it scares the shit out of me.”

  “Oh my God. I knew it!” Allie grabbed Emanuela into a hug.

  Emanuela raised her head to look into Allie’s face. “You did?”

  “I’m not stupid Em, come on! How long have we known each other? You started off telling me everything about the guy—which I appreciate, believe me. Then suddenly you stopped. You kept seeing him, which you didn’t keep from me, so it made no sense! I knew you weren’t hiding it from me so much as keeping something for yourself…I get it. Took you long enough to tell me though. I was about to disown you!”

  Emanuela giggled, then fell silent.

  “He’s not your mother, Em.”

  “I know.”

  “He isn’t Greg, either.”

  Emanuela gasped, and Allie fairly snorted. “Oh come on! I know you like to play the martyr and blame yourself, but Greg wanted a pretty little thing to show off at business parties. You aren’t a trophy.”

  “You can’t know that.”

  “Well, I knew about Philip, didn’t I?” When Emanuela simply nodded, Allie continued. “You have to tell him.”

  “It’s so soon,” Emanuela said. “It’s happening so fast, and then where do we go from here? Everything I know will have to change. I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”

  Allie pulled her best friend close to her again and touched her head to hers. “That is scary. Shit, Em.—Shit!” she said again, the big wheel descending once more. “I don’t think anyone’s ever really ready, you know? We just jump in hoping we’ll make it without drowning. You’re one of the best swimmers I know. I don’t even need to know if the Good Doctor can swim.”

  “Have I told you how amazing you are?”

  “Not enough, frankly. It’s a good thing I’ve got great self-esteem.”

  Emanuela laughed, then sighed. “What now?”

  “I dunno. I guess it’s like any big decision you make in life. When the time comes for you to need the answer, you just know. You know if it feels right or if you should move on. But for the love of God, you better tell me in advance this time! I need to know where to send those damn canelés.”

  Emanuela felt Allie’s grin against her cheek. “Deal.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Finn craned his head a bit, a lecherous grin spreading across his face.

  “Stop staring at my ass and tell me if it’s straight!” Emanuela snapped, teetering on the edge of a barstool.

  “A little to the left.”

  She turned to look at him on her computer screen with a suspicious scowl. “You just said it was too far left.”

  “No, you. Move a little to the left. You’re almost out of view.”

  “Will you behave?? I want it to look nice!”

  His lips twitched.

  “The painting!” she said, impatiently.

  With a lift of his hands, palms out in surrender, Finn finally stopped teasing her. “It looks great. Now, every time you feed your coffee habit, you’ll see it and think of me.”

  “I will.” She hopped from the stool and dragged it back to the counter so she could sit down to continue their conversation. “I still can’t believe that trip h
appened. It already feels like it was ages ago.”

  He understood completely. Their two weeks away from each other were drawing to a close, but the days seemed to drag as though there were unseen forces stretching each hour until it felt like a month.

  “I still think you should reconsider the hotel. We both know you aren’t staying there and Simon already knows about us,” he said.

  “I know, but this is supposed to be a work thing, Finn. I can’t use work funds to travel for leisure, so the hotel room stays booked.”

  He groaned. “I only get to have you for one day. It’s madness!”

  “Well, I don’t see why I should have to fly all the way out there only to turn right around and come back the next day.”

  His eyebrows went up, wondering what she was on about. “Emanuela…”

  “I wouldn’t want to overstay my welcome—”

  “Emmi!”

  “I’m staying through Saturday, Finn!” She giggled at his exasperated expression. “I have to be back at work on Monday so it’s just the one extra day.”

  “I’ll take it,” Finn said, quickly. “Two days are better than one. And two nights.” He grinned when her face heated. “Can’t wait to see you.”

  “Me neither.”

  ****

  Emanuela squirmed in her seat. The familiar drop in her tummy after each decrease in altitude was joined by a swarm of tiny winged creatures her chest, and she crossed her legs in an effort to keep still. She looked out at the glistening water and white-capped mountains surrounding downtown Seattle from the tiny window of the seven fifty-seven. Finn was down there waiting for her. To take her home. His home, she corrected herself. Still, she couldn’t shake the thought that someday—soon perhaps—this could be her home too. She looked out again, squinting her eyes against the early morning sun. It didn’t occur to her until that very moment, but it didn’t scare her anymore. Whatever reservations she had about the unknown future had quietly turned to hope.

  ****

  “Hey, Beautiful,” Finn mumbled into Emanuela’s shoulder.

  They embraced on the curb just outside Seattle-Tacoma International Airport. Whatever she replied was muffled against his throat because she was covering his neck in quick, happy kisses.

  “Emmi, not in front of the kids.” He grinned at her after they finally pulled apart.

  She flushed, taking notice of the mother and two small children to their right, the two little ones giggling and pointing at their public display. Finn opened his passenger’s side door, loaded her carryon into the trunk, and they were off to The Edgewater Hotel. He waited for her in the car while she checked in and changed her clothes. They needed to meet Simon to check out possible lab locations in thirty minutes, and they both knew they’d be late if he went in with her.

  The passenger door opened and Emanuela slid into the seat.

  “Jesus,” he said in reverence.

  He hadn’t seen her in professional clothing this close since the last time she came to Seattle, and was painfully reminded of how dead sexy the sight was. His appreciative stare traveled from her expertly lined eyes to her neat chignon, and he made a mental note to muss up her hair later.

  She giggled and leaned in to kiss him. “Thank you.”

  Finn held his breath, trapping her scent in his nostrils. “Emmi.”

  “Hmmm?” she said, pecking at his jaw.

  “You’re killing me.”

  “Sorry.” She grinned, sitting back in the seat. “Shall we?”

  He took her hand, needing physical contact with her in some form, and navigated them toward Seattle’s biotech research and business hub in South Lake Union.

  ****

  The next several hours were spent touring potential properties for SimLife Laboratories. Finn and Simon were very involved, indicating to the agent, the contractor, and to Emanuela the renovations that would need to take place to accommodate lab space, offices and equipment. It was a grueling morning, particularly for Emanuela after her long flight, but she never let it show. She was fully engaged, taking photos and asking questions until each property was seen.

  After lunch downtown, which turned into a three-hour affair where the trio decided on the property most suitable for their needs, possible suppliers for laboratory equipment, and a hundred other details, they finally called an end to the work day.

  Emanuela glanced at her watch. “Wow, four o’clock already! I’d say we’ve covered considerable ground, wouldn’t you?”

  Simon beamed. “I’d say more than that! I’d say you’ve earned yourself some of the best cooking this city has to offer.”

  “Oh?” she asked, feigning ignorance.

  “Jamie is something else,” Finn said. “He’s pulling out all the stops for dinner tonight, just so you know.”

  “Well, I look forward to it,” she said.

  “So do we!” Simon smiled. “I’ll see you two soon. Don’t lose track of time or my husband will be heartbroken.”

  He winked at them and kissed her cheek. It was his first acknowledgment of her relationship with Finn, and Emanuela felt suddenly shy. “I—we won’t,” she said.

  ****

  Despite a frantic reunion against Emanuela’s hotel room wall—and another in the bathroom, they arrived at Simon’s beautiful home right on time at six-thirty. Emanuela and Jamie fell in love with each other at once.

  “Oh, she’s gorgeous!” he said.

  She stood dutifully still until he finished giving her a playful once-over. She hadn’t bothered with a shower cap, and there had been no time to blow dry or straighten it again, so the soft, spiraling curls were left to frame her face. Jamie hugged her as if they’d known each other for years.

  “Thank you. I love your home, especially the windows,” she said of the eight-foot panels that let light in from nearly every direction.

  “See, honey?” Jamie called to Simon. “I told you those windows would bring this place out of the Stone Age!” He leaned in to confide in Emanuela. “I love him to death but he’s oblivious to anything remotely fashionable. He doesn’t buy new clothes unless I throw his old ones away.”

  “Oh, I know!” Simon yelled, making his way down from the upstairs kitchen to greet them. “He thinks I don’t know.” He glared at Jamie playfully.

  Emanuela laughed, looking at Finn.

  “They’re such an old married couple,” Finn said. “They’re gonna be like this all night.”

  “I hope so.”

  Simon hadn’t exaggerated Jamie’s talents. He was quite the culinary artist. At thirty-three, he was already editor of a celebrated food and wine magazine. Emanuela swore by the digital version, to Jamie’s delight, and best of all, he hailed from New York. He claimed his accent was only obvious when he got animated in any way, which, as it turned out, was a lot.

  After dinner, Emanuela paid her compliments to the chef. “I must have eaten salmon a million times, but that had to be the best I’ve ever tasted. What did you do?”

  He was only too thrilled to share his method, but Simon and Finn didn’t need to hear it again. They gathered the dishes and took them into the kitchen, leaving their significant others to fawn over each other.

  “Well the marinade is mine, so I’d have to kill you,” Jamie said. “But the secret is really in the technique. I use a cedar plank to grill it. It’s a play on the traditional way Natives of this area cooked their meat. It’s not the same, of course, but it’ll do in a pinch.”

  Emanuela laughed, thinking of Allie. “My best friend would love you. You have so much in common.”

  ****

  Simon and Finn prepared to bring out Jamie’s dessert, observing the fast friends from the kitchen.

  “Would you look at that?” Simon said in astonishment. “I don’t know if I should be happy or jealous.”

  Finn shook his head, watching the pair carry on. “I’m not surprised at all. Jamie is amazing, and they’re about the same age.”

  Simon looked at Finn. “It wou
ld make it easier for her, if she were to move here eventually, to have a friend.”

  Finn saw no reason to beat around the bush, not with Simon. “It would. We haven’t talked about it yet because I don’t want her to feel like we’re rushing things, but she’s it for me, Sy. I suspected it from the first day she came here and now I’m sure of it.”

  Simon patted Finn’s shoulder. “A blind man could see that, my friend. You two are walking smoke signals.”

  “Is it really that obvious?”

  “Well, she’s a little better at poker than you are but not much. I’m happy for you. Just take it at your own pace. There’s no rulebook for these things. You know I adore her, and Jamie is close to stealing her from you himself.”

  ****

  Jamie made a rustic salmonberry galette for dessert, the beautiful berries a local delicacy. When they were finished eating, they moved to the wrap-around terrace to enjoy the clear, mild evening with some wine.

  “So how did you two meet?” Emanuela asked. Looking at them now, she couldn’t see Simon or Jamie with anyone else, but she had to admit they seemed an unlikely pair.

  “What? You don’t think I’m a catch?” Simon asked.

  She was horrified, thinking she may have offended him.

  “It’s okay,” he said with laughter in his tone. “I know we must seem like an odd couple. We probably are. Somehow it works for us.”

  Simon kissed the top of Jamie’s head and she smiled. She was quite comfortable herself, snuggled up to Finn on the wicker loveseat with his arm around her.

  “I’m the one who got Simon into cooking,” Jamie said. “He’s brilliant, don’t get me wrong, but before he met me, he couldn’t boil an egg properly.”

  “On with the story, Jamie, unless you want me to tell it!” Simon said.

  Emanuela giggled and looked up at Finn, the way she’d done all evening, wanting to see his reaction to every little thing. He grinned and kissed her nose.

  “All right, all right!” Jamie said. “You’re gonna love this.” He was obviously talking only to Emanuela. “He was on a date with someone else when we met!”

  Emanuela was scandalized by this fact, her eyes wide, lips parted.

  “It was their first date and it was going horribly. Ask me how I knew.”