by Shilpa Suraj
Sia watched him make his way through the crowd towards the door. In simple blue jeans and a plain black collared t-shirt tucked in, he was probably one of the best looking guys in the club that night. She turned to see Adarsh staring at her with an understanding expression on her face. Shaking off her sudden blues, she turned back to him to make conversation. They had demolished most of their starters before Minty started making noises of going after Ryan to see what was keeping him. For reasons not clear to anyone including herself, Sia got up ‘I’ll go take a look. You sit down.’ She didn’t see but could imagine the looks Adarsh and Minty were shooting each other behind her back.
Making her way past the bouncers at the door she looked in both directions before spotting Ryan leaning against a railing in the distance. She walked up behind him hesitating for a minute before trying to get his attention. He was in a corner, leaning forward against the railing with his profile to her and looking out on to the not so spectacular view of the city spread out in front of him. He looked lonely, she thought as she watched him stand and stare unseeingly at the building under construction in his line of sight. Sad and lonely. Brushing her fanciful thoughts aside, she approached him.
‘Ry?’
His shoulders stiffened for a second before he turned to look at her. He stared at her without a hint of expression in his hazel eyes. He’d had a lot more to drink than she’d thought. Struggling to control her hair and dress in the wind blowing past them, she stepped closer and behind the curve of the wall that cut it off. Heaving a sigh of relief, she let go of her dress and shook her hair out of her eyes. Suddenly aware that along with being out of the wind, they were also out of sight of people, she glanced warily up at his still inscrutable face.
‘Aren’t you going to come back inside? Everyone’s wondering where you are.’
‘Were you?’ Unsmiling, he straightened up from the railing and came closer to her. Sia held her ground and let him. She’d seen Ryan in too many moods to be intimidated by him. Right now he looked like he was spoiling for a fight.
‘I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t, would I?’ She countered frostily over the sudden pounding of her heart.
‘What an incredible combination of fire and ice you are.’ Still smiling dangerously, he stopped a hairsbreadth away from her forcing her to tip her head up to meet his eyes. Slowly, tantalizingly, he trailed a fingertip against the curve of her cheek. When she continued to stare back at him unflinchingly, he did what he’d been thinking of all night and lowered his head towards hers and took her lips in a soul searing kiss. For the first time in her life, Sia stopped being responsible. Throwing caution to the wind, she rose on her tiptoes to meet him halfway. The flames they’d banked for years rose and engulfed them as his hands came around her and pulled her up against his chest. Sighing in surrender when their lips met, Sia slid her hands through his hair and opened herself up to his fierce exploration. His arms cradled her protectively while his mouth ravished hers. Restlessly, running her hands over his back, she tried to pull him closer. Breathing in hard gasps, Ryan tore himself from her mouth and dipped to press his lips against her throat. Moaning, she dropped her head back to give him better access. On a rough groan, he fisted his hands in her hair and brought her up for another kiss that ravaged and plundered. It could have been eons or minutes before they came up for air. Panting hard, Ryan tightened his hold on her and pressed his cheek into her hair. Sia rested her head against his chest and allowed herself to soak up the moment. Feeling his heart race in unison with hers, she turned her face slightly to press a kiss against it.
‘Sia?’
‘Hmmm?’
‘Are you cold?’
‘Figuratively or literally?’ She looked up at him with a teasing grin.
His entire body unwound at the sight of that smile. ‘There you are. There’s the girl I fell in love with.’ He murmured brushing his hand gently down the length of her hair.
And just like that the moment shattered. Sia stiffened in his embrace the minute he murmured those familiar words as everything came rushing back. The memories, the pain and all the nights she’d cried into her pillow flashed in her head like a film reel she couldn’t stop. Horrified at what she’d let happen, she moved out of his embrace
‘No. This was a mistake. We’re not doing this again.’ Running shaky hands through her hair, she tried to get a grip on her scattered emotions.
‘A mistake?’ The barely suppressed fury in his voice had her flinching. ‘Oh for heaven’s sake, stop doing that! Stop flinching and shaking and trembling the minute I look or act even remotely angry. I’m not going to hurt you.’
Watching the blood drain out of her face, he swore and turned to grip the railing, putting some distance between them.
Keeping his back to her for both their sakes, he struggled to keep his voice level.
‘He hit you.’
The flat statement had her stomach churning. ‘Yes.’ She admitted, swallowing the bile that rose in her throat at the memories of her brief marriage.
Her matter of fact tone had his heart turning over. Knuckles whitening as he clenched his hands around the railing, Ryan struggled to get a grip on his surge of murderous rage.
‘Sia-’
Talking over him, she continued, ‘Would you like to know more, Ryan? I could tell you about the time he dragged me by the hair and banged my head against the wall because there wasn’t enough salt in the dinner I’d cooked or we could talk about the night he held a knife to my throat because he thought I was having an affair with a colleague.’
Releasing his death grip on the railing, he turned, feeling inadequate and helpless, to slowly face her. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Why?’ She asked, expressionlessly. ‘You’re not the one who kicked me in my ribs for entertainment.’
‘I should have been there. I should never have left.’
‘Yes.’ Her simple agreement ripped through his gut like nothing had so far. ‘You should have been there but you weren’t. I would never have married anyone else when all I ever wanted was you.’
Shaking her head, she stepped back when he tried to reach for her. ‘He may have hurt my body, Ryan, but you? You destroyed me. Heart and soul.’
Leaving him standing in the cold, she walked back into the club taking the warmth with her.
Chapter 12
Bracing himself, Ryan moved all the bags he held to one hand and reached out to ring the doorbell. He didn’t manage to give it more than a brief push before the door opened and Sia stepped out.
Startled, he took in the fact that she was dressed and on her way out. In a floral sundress with sunglasses perched on her head, hair loose and her face free of makeup, she’d gone from the sexy siren of the previous night to the girl next door. Ignoring the tug of attraction he always felt when he looked at her, he took in the shadows under her eyes and the drooping shoulders that spoke volumes about her sleepless night.
‘Oh! You’re still here.’ She said, unenthusiastically.
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘Well, the last time I kissed you, you moved to a different state. And that barely rated. This time, I figured you’d be halfway to Brazil.’
Barely rated? One of his most cherished memories barely rated? Wincing, he held up the bag in his hand. ‘I brought breakfast and coffee.’
‘No, thank you. I have an appointment to get to.’ Locking the door with a firm click, she brushed past him leaving a lingering trail of the citrus fragrance she was wearing in her wake.
‘On a Sunday?’ Keeping pace with her easily, he moved to block her path, forcing her to stop and look at him.
‘Yes. On a Sunday.’
‘Where are you going?’
‘That’s none of your business.’ When he only raised an eyebrow and waited, she sighed. ‘Why do you care?’
‘I don’t want the food to go to waste.’ Knowing her weakness for filter coffee, he waved one of the cups in her face letting the aroma reach her.
He’d picked it up from her favourite joint.
‘Fine.’ With one irritable swipe, she grabbed both the cup and one of the sealed packets in his hand. ‘I’ll eat what you bought me while I’m driving. Now go away.’
Unlocking her car, she got in and shoved the key into the ignition only to have him slide into the passenger side.
Wearily, she let her head drop against the steering wheel and prayed for patience.
‘Want me to drive? You seem tired.’ Nonchalantly, tearing open the packet still in his hand, he took a big bite of his sandwich.
Giving up, she put the car in gear and exited her lane with an angry squeal of her tires, barely missing an oncoming truck.
Swallowing both his gulp of fear and his mouthful of sandwich quickly, Ryan asked. ‘So where are we going?’
Silence.
Glancing down at his frayed jeans and green round necked t-shirt, he said ‘I’m just wondering if I’m dressed for it.’
More silence.
‘Want me to open your sandwich packet for you?’
Okay, silence and a glare. That was an improvement.
‘I got your favourite from the Hot Spot. Can you believe the lady who runs the shop still remembers me? She was wondering why you hadn’t visited the store in so long.’
Too many memories, you fool! Save me from the idiocy of men, Sia thought as she turned into the parking lot and parked. Luckily, they hadn’t had far to go. Turning in her seat, she reached behind her for the purse on the backseat.
‘Too many memories?’ Startled by Ryan’s quiet echo of her thoughts, she stopped midway and looked at him. Suddenly aware of the proximity her position generated, she froze. A fraction of an inch closer and she could fit her lips perfectly to his. Resisting the urge to repeat the previous night’s mistake, she listened to his quiet breathing and fought for control.
‘Sia.’ The quietly amused murmur of her name jerked her out of her trance. Closing her hand on her bag, she turned with a swift jerk and got out of the car.
‘Sia.’ His voice stopped her headlong dash. ‘Hold on.’
Throwing her hands up in frustration, Sia spun around. ‘What? What in the name of God could you possibly want now?’ Her raised voice had a few people in the parking lot glancing over.
‘Your keys.’
When she only gaped uncomprehendingly at him, he gestured towards the car. ‘You parked with one of your tires on the pavement.’
Ryan ducked just in time to avoid the keys aimed at his head. Still chuckling, he bent to pick them up, watching her storm into the building. Noting the nameplate with ‘Home for the Aged’ lettered on it, he watched her till she was out of sight before getting into the car to park properly.
* * *
Catching up with Sia as she finished filling out a register at the reception and closed it, Ryan looked around. The place was spotlessly clean with large, open areas filled with greenery. Impressed, he kept pace with her as she strode briskly down a corridor.
‘So what are we doing here?’
‘I am here to spend time with Mrs Srinivasan. I have no idea what you are doing here.’
‘I’m here to spend time with you.’ Grinning at the frustrated glare she levelled at him, he followed her into a room at the end of the corridor.
‘Good morning.’ Smiling at the old, frail lady tucked into the bed, Sia went to lower the bed rail. ‘How are you feeling today? Recovered from the flu?’
‘I’m much better, dear. Thank you for the soup. Who’s the young man?’
‘Nobody important. Ignore him.’ Levering her up from the bed, Sia helped her over to a chair and settled her in. ‘What shall we do today? I brought cards and Scrabble®. I’ve also got a book in here if you want me to read to you?’ Rummaging in her purse, Sia brought out a dog eared copy of Paulo Coelho’s ‘Alchemist.’
‘What have you done to be ignored?’ Bright, alert eyes twinkled up at him.
‘I’m in disgrace.’ Ryan informed her solemnly.
Charmed, she leaned forward in her to chair to ask. ‘For what?’
‘Well, to begin with I was born. Things got sort of out of hand after that.’
Chuckling, she beckoned him closer. ‘I’m Mrs Saraswati Srinivasan. And you are?’
‘What I am is very pleased to meet you.’ Reaching out to cradle the hand she held out to him with both of his, Ryan lowered to his haunches in front of her. ‘Ryan. That’s my name.’
‘No last name?’
‘No, none that matters.’ Smiling to take the sting out his words, he asked. ‘How about Scrabble®? I play a killer game.’
‘He cheats.’ Watching them interact had Sia’s heart and resolve melting.
‘She’s just a sore loser. Trust me.’
Mrs Srinivasan couldn’t resist reaching out and tousling his hair like she always had her son’s. He had such sad eyes. She’d always been a sucker for sad eyes and a rakish smile. There wasn’t a woman alive who could resist that combination. Patting him on the cheek, Mrs Srinivasan smiled ‘Scrabble® it is then.’
‘Awesome.’ Jumping to his feet, he pulled up another chair and rubbed his hands together in glee. ‘I am going to destroy you. Not you, Aunty Saraswati, just her. I am the king of this game. The Scrabble® lion, so to speak.’
Rolling her eyes at his theatrics, Sia set the Scrabble® board up and handed the bag out for everyone to pick their tiles.
‘Oh.’
Looking up at the sad sound, Sia took in Ryan’s crestfallen expression as he surveyed his tiles.
‘Problem?’ She asked, amused.
‘Most of them are vowels.’ Sadly, he poked and prodded at them as if that would help.
Lips twitching, she ventured ‘So more like the Scrabble® mouse then?’
‘A mouse? You can’t downgrade me to a mouse just on the basis of the tiles I have. I haven’t played a turn yet. An open and creative mind has plenty to work with here.’ He said, sanctimoniously.
‘Okay. You play first.’ Cupping her chin with her palm, Sia beamed at him.
A little blinded by that smile, Ryan tried to refocus on his tiles. Other than the vowels, he had one ‘h.’
Accepting unavoidable humiliation, he put his tiles down on the board and waited.
‘Ooh? You made ooh?’ Looking like all her birthdays had arrived together, Sia collapsed in her chair with laughter.
‘Maybe a Scrabble® puppy.’ Patting him kindly on his hand, Mrs Srinivasan reached for her tiles over Sia’s loud, never ending laughter.
He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had so much fun. Cups of tea, lazy conversation, Scrabble® followed by cards and laughter that made his sides hurt turned into a golden memory he tucked away to savour later.
Smiling now, he watched as Sia coaxed Mrs Srinivasan into finishing her lunch. Dabbing her mouth with a napkin, Sia helped her back into bed.
Ryan leaned in to kiss her goodbye and said in a loud whisper. ‘I’ll be back beautiful. I had a great time on our first date.’
‘Even if it was a threesome?’ She whispered back, just as loudly.
Laughing delightedly at the shock and amusement mingling on his face, she patted his cheek. ‘I’m old, darling, not dead.’
Shaking her head in mock reproof, Sia leaned in and hugged her too. Promising to come back next week, they left to meet with the nurse at the reception.
He waited till Sia was done filling out the register again and they were in the car heading home before asking ‘She has no family?’
‘Son, daughter in law and grandchildren in London. I think they last came to visit about a year ago.’
‘Why doesn’t she live with them?’
Sia manoeuvred carefully around a slowly moving cyclist before answering. ‘I don’t know too many details. She doesn’t talk too much about it but the best I can infer is that they didn’t want her cramping their lifestyle. It’s becoming more common nowadays to leave elders in homes, even expensive ones like that. It’s common for
people to throw money at their problems now.’
He was certainly throwing fifty lakhs at his, Ryan reflected. He’d always had expensive problems. ‘I don’t get it. I would have loved to have someone like her as my mother. How long have you been coming to see her?’
‘I started volunteering almost four years ago but I only met Mrs Srinivasan two years back.’
‘What made you start?’
After a beat of silence, she answered ‘I was married at the time. During the week, I could hide out in the office but over the weekends I needed somewhere to go.’ Staring straight ahead, she said, ‘So I didn’t start coming here out of any noble reasons. It was survival, pure and simple.’
‘Sia.’ Lifting a hand to touch her cheek, Ryan stopped when she held a palm out stopping him.
‘Don’t Ryan. There is nothing you can say that will change anything or make any of it better. It’s the past. It’s over and so are we.’
Parking in front of the house, she got out and waited till he emerged from the car before locking it. They walked to her porch in silence but she stopped before opening the door.
