As all attention diverted away from the devastated man next to me, I whispered an apology. Every word was forward and inappropriate, but if they helped to ease Fulton’s pain, I didn’t care. Only half of what I told him was a lie.
“Fulton, I think ye one of the most handsome men I’ve ever seen. I believe my father is wrong—I’m sure I could be verra content with ye if we were married, but ye surely doona wish to have my father ordering ye around until he dies. Be glad that he’s sent ye away. Know that ye always have at least one friend here at Conall Castle.”
For the first time, he smiled, and his hands stopped shaking.
“Thank ye, lass.”
Quickly reaching out to squeeze his hand, I smiled then turned my attention back to the rest of the table. I could only hope getting rid of future suitors would be just as easy.
Chapter 13
By the time dinner ended, I was no longer sure I wanted to help Jerry. It turned my stomach to see my father so jubilant. Father was so eager to see Jerry settled that he and Alasdair left immediately after eating to see the cottage readied for Jerry’s immediate use.
Despite my misgivings, I knew that Alasdair was right. We had to help him and he had to know that Grier was alive.
With Fulton away to pack up his belongings, only Jerry, Elspeth, Eoin, and myself gathered in the sitting room by the fire. With Eoin asleep in Elspeth’s arms, her own eyes were slowly closing in sleep. Knowing that the time had come to tell him, I kissed my sweet nephew’s forehead and moved to stand next to Jerry.
“I thought ye dinna care for my father.”
One corner of his mouth pulled up into a smile, and my heart began to race. I didn’t enjoy looking at him without his beard. Every time I did, my body reacted in strange, unfamiliar ways.
“I said I dinna care for him before I met him. Now that I’ve met him, I like him even less.” He paused and leaned in close as he took a quick glance in Elspeth’s direction. “But Morna, I need yer help. Ye may not believe me now, but with time, I’ll convince ye. I need to be close with yer father to get close to ye.”
Leaning back to distance myself from him, I nodded.
“But, I do believe ye. ’Twas only that there was much to take in before. I’ll help ye, but I dinna lie to ye before. I know little of magic. It could take me years to learn what I need to help ye.”
He shrugged as if he’d expected twice that length of time.
“It could take me years to find another witch. I’ve faith ye will learn quickly. Though I must ask ye, how will ye learn now if ye were unable to learn before?”
It was a reasonable question, one which I myself worried over. It was precisely why I needed to tell him about Grier. Once he knew she lived, he might wish to leave here and go in search of her.
“I recently found all of Grier’s old spell books and journals. Once Alasdair finds a place where I can read and work without fear of Father discovering it, I will devote everything to learning. It has been my only wish for years now. Jerry, before ye decide to stay here, I must tell ye something.”
“I doona believe I have any choice in staying here anymore. I’m not certain yer father would permit it.”
He said the words jokingly, but I wasn’t altogether certain he was wrong.
“If ye decide to leave after I tell ye, Alasdair and I will see to it that ye are able.”
“I can see no other place where I would have a greater chance of finding someone to help me. Tell me what ye must. It willna change my mind.”
He needed to know, but I didn’t want to tell him. Knowing would hurt him. Even as nervous as he made me, the last thing I wanted was to cause him pain.
“Grier is alive.”
Jerry’s teasing smile vanished, and he watched me carefully as if gauging my sincerity.
I remained expressionless as I waited for him to respond.
When he finally did, his tone was strained.
“Part of me has wondered. I never thought Grier the kind of person who would easily accept death. I canna understand it though. I…I thought her my friend. Why would she allow me to believe her dead?”
I shook my head. “I doona know. Will ye look for her?”
His voice didn’t waver. “No. I will help yer brother find a place for ye to work, and together we will find a way to get me home. Thank ye for telling me.”
“Alasdair believes we will see her again.”
Father entered the room, and Jerry turned to walk away from me, speaking quietly over his shoulder as he went.
“I’ve no doubt of it, lass. Morna, do ye truly believe it a coincidence ye found her books only just before I arrived here? If ye thought Grier powerful when ye knew her, ye have no idea what she’s capable of now.”
I stared after him as he left, astonished that it hadn’t crossed my mind before now.
Had Eoin really stumbled across the books all on his own?
Chapter 14
Two Months Later
* * *
With both Jerry and Alasdair eager to find a place for me to learn and work, it didn’t take long for them to figure out a solution. It was much more perfect than I could’ve dreamed.
On the back side of the castle, hidden by years of foliage and dirt, was a door to a separate basement room in the castle. Empty for years, it was dirty and dark, but I couldn’t have minded less. For despite the frigid air and damp walls, there was no reason for any of us to suspect that Father would have reason to enter it. It was private, and it was mine.
In order to allow me even more time to read through Grier’s countless books, Alasdair hired a nurse for Eoin. While I missed my days spent in the child’s company, I couldn’t bring myself to feel guilty over being away from him. My enthusiasm allowed me to learn quickly. Within the month, I mastered dozens of spells that had been entirely out of the realm of my abilities only weeks before.
My mornings were spent in the castle, flitting around, behaving as if I were the useless ornament piece my father believed me to be. I got into the habit of sleeping late so that the mornings wouldn’t seem so long.
Afternoons were my time. The moment Father left for his afternoon ride, I would slip away to my spell room and work until Alasdair came to inform me that Father had returned to the stables.
Everyone in my closest circle, save Father, knew of my work. Mary, Kip, Elspeth, Mae—each of them kept my secret.
Jerry’s new position with my father provided him lodging and food, but most days he had little work to do. My father had little need of a messenger. If he wished to speak to anyone, Father preferred to meet face-to-face. So while Jerry’s title offered him more esteem than the role of Kip’s stable hand, most of his days were spent helping with the horses anyway. Each afternoon, he would allow me some time to work alone. Then later, he would stop in to check on my progress.
While my progress with magic was great, I’d found nothing in Grier’s journals or spell books that ever mentioned time travel. I only had a few more books to work through, and I feared they would prove to be as fruitless as all the others.
“Yer hair is different.”
Jerry’s voice from behind caused me to jump. Even with my back toward him, I could sense that he stood close to me. I always tried to keep my distance from him. I didn’t know how to handle the way my body stirred when near him.
Scooting to the side to clear him, I turned.
“Ye scared me. Aye, the wetness of the basement makes it grow to twice its normal width. Mary said if I continue to arrive to dinner appearing so disheveled, Father will begin to suspect that something is awry. I doona believe she’s right. Father would have to look at me for more than the span of one breath to notice, but I suppose ’tis best to be safe.” Stepping even further away, I continued, “Ye are earlier than usual. Does Kip not need ye?”
Grunting, Jerry rolled his eyes as he shook his head.
“I think I angered him. He’s no older than I, but he is as impatient as a crotchety, old man. He k
nows everything I told him was true, but he dinna wish to hear it.”
With both hands against my makeshift stone desk, I hoisted myself so that I sat upon it. It wasn’t the most ladylike position, but none of that ever seemed to matter in front of Jerry. I didn’t know if it was the time he came from or simply his open personality, but I suspected I could appear before him in my shift without him balking at the sight of it.
“What did ye tell him?”
He smiled and stepped closer. I immediately regretted sitting down—now there was nowhere for me to escape to. Turning so that his back leaned against the table, he lifted himself and sat down so close that our fingers brushed. I swallowed and hoped he couldn’t see my skin flush in the low light of the room.
“I canna tell ye. Not yet anyway. Once he calms down and sees the sense of what I suggested, I’ll share the news with ye. So.” He lifted a finger and pointed to the open book on my other side. “What have ye learned today?”
I dreaded disappointing him each and every day. Even though he always responded with patience and kindness, I knew his own fears that I might not be able to help him grew with each passing day.
Leaning over with my left hand, I closed the book.
“Nothing that will help ye, I’m afraid.”
Keeping his smile steady, he locked eyes with me as he leaned across me, grabbing the book beneath my hand. His nose was so close it could’ve brushed against my cheek had he wished it. I held my breath so it wouldn’t shake.
“’Tis not what I asked. Sometimes, I believe ye think all I care about is ye helping me. ’Tis untrue. I believe I want ye to learn everything ye can about magic just as much as yer brother does. I would support anything that would give ye power over yer father’s grip on ye, Morna. I’m genuinely interested. What did ye learn?”
I reached over to thumb the book open to the page I’d been working on as Jerry braced the book with his hands.
“’Tis a truth potion. Mary is gathering the necessary herbs. Would ye like me to try it on ye?”
Jerry jumped off the table so quickly he created a breeze. Laughing, he backed away and held up his hands as if to block me.
“Please doona ever slip me a potion. While I know I must use magic to get home, I’ve truthfully a great fear of it.”
“Of magic?”
Such a confession surprised me. If he was afraid of magic, why did he come to my spell room each and every day and expose himself to it? Why had he lived with a witch far more powerful than me for over a year?
“Not of magic, per say, but of being controlled by it.”
“Do ye truly believe I would do that to ye?”
His features softened.
“No, I doona believe ye would.”
Slowly, he closed the distance between us, and I held my breath as his thighs bumped into my knees as he stood in front of me. Leaning in, he whispered, “Hold still, lass. Ye’ve a lash that is perilously close to falling into yer eye.”
If not for my hands steadying me against the table, I would’ve trembled at the touch of his fingers across my lashes. With a soft pinch, he grabbed at something but blew it away before I could see the lash in his palm.
He stepped away as quickly as he neared me, and I held his eyes until he turned away. I could only see the shape of his eyes—the corner of the room where I sat was far too dark for him to see any of my lashes.
He said nothing else as he left.
I sat smiling long after he’d gone.
He had no real reason to touch me at all.
* * *
Jerry
* * *
For over a year, getting back to my own time was my greatest obsession. Every minute of every day, it was all I thought about. Even in my dreams, all I could see was my home. How could I relinquish my obsession so easily? Was any lass that powerful?
She couldn’t see it yet—how much I cared for her. Her innocence prevented her from seeing how desperately I wanted her. I was thankful for it. For if Morna ever reciprocated my feelings, I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to make myself leave this time, even if she found a way for me to return home.
And I had to return home. Of course I did. If my destiny lay in this time, I would’ve been born here.
Regardless, each day when I snuck down into Morna’s basement, I hoped her news would be the same as the day before. Despite my better judgment, I hoped she found nothing.
It couldn’t last forever. Either she would have to find the spell soon, or my willpower would betray me completely.
One way or another, I had to return. And no matter how much I wished it, I couldn’t bring Morna with me.
It was torture to be near her, but it drove me mad to be away from her, even for the length of one morning.
Life at Conall Castle was miserable.
I was the happiest I’d ever been.
Chapter 15
“Psst…”
It was only mid-morning, still too early for Father to leave on his ride. So I sat in the garden watching Elspeth prune her beloved flowers as I heard the noise for the second time.
“Psst...”
Turning to look for the source of the noise, I found Jerry peeking around one of the garden’s tallest bushes. He waved me toward him with one finger while he quietly called to me.
“Come here, lass. I wish to show ye something. Ye willna wish to miss it.”
Making my excuses to Elspeth, I hurried after him. He latched onto my hand and quickly pulled me away from the garden the moment I reached him.
“What is it? Why are we running?”
I lifted my dress with my free hand so I could keep up with him. We ran together all the way to the small woods just opposite Kip’s stables. Jerry said nothing until he pulled up short behind a wide tree.
“It may take a few moments, but we canna miss it. Lean over and watch, but doona let Kip see ye. He willna do it if he knows he’s being watched.”
My curiosity was piqued. I lay my hands against the tree trunk for support and leaned far over to my left. All I could see was the side of the stables.
“What am I watching for?”
I stilled as Jerry’s hands touched the trunk on either side of my waist. He leaned forward, his front pressed against my back, his cheek just a hair’s width from my own as he waited and watched with me.
“Ye’ll know the moment ye see it, I’m certain.”
It seemed as if days passed before Kip left the stable and moved where we could see him. All the while Jerry remained with his arms around me. I was so aware of his breathing that I didn’t notice how my own had escalated until I glanced down to see my bosom rise and fall with humiliating speed. Inhaling deeply, I tried to forget about how it felt to have Jerry so close and focus on the scene in front of me.
Kip paced the length of the stable, muttering something to himself that neither of us could hear. After three full lengths of pacing, I saw Mary approaching, and my heart nearly stopped.
“Do ye mean? Does Kip mean to?”
Lifting his left arm from the tree’s trunk, Jerry placed his finger against my lips to silence me. The warmth of his breath against my neck caused me to shiver all over.
“Shh lass, just watch.”
Mary looked shocked to find Kip standing outside the stables, but it didn’t take long for her to fall into conversation with him.
I watched with joy as Kip fidgeted nervously from foot to foot. I was certain he wasn’t hearing a word Mary was saying—he was too busy trying to gather his courage.
She didn’t realize what he meant to do at first. Even as Kip reached for her hands, Mary continued to chatter away as if nothing were odd about his behavior.
The moment she realized what Kip was doing, her hands flew to her mouth and she started to cry.
Even unable to hear the words that passed between them, I knew her answer by the way her arms flew around his neck.
The moment they kissed, I turned away, not wanting to intrude on their privat
e moment. Unthinking, I turned right into Jerry’s wide arms.
I couldn’t move without touching him, and he didn’t pull away as I stood with my nose level with his chin.
Desperate to decrease the tension between us, I began to chatter away incessantly.
“Thank ye for bringing me here. I canna believe Kip finally gathered the courage. Mary will be so happy. They’re suited nicely, I think. I…”
His breath still warm against my ear, Jerry spoke. “Hush, lash. They’re still here. Do ye wish for us to be found out?”
Why didn’t he step away? I hated how nervous I felt in front of him.
I responded in a whisper. “No, o’course I doona. Is this what ye spoke to Kip about?”
He nodded. “Aye.”
“I wouldna have thought ye a romantic, Jerry.”
He leaned back just far enough so that he could look down at me. His eyes lingered on my lips. I desperately wanted to duck and move away from him.
Just as I was about to run, he pulled away.
“They’re gone now. I’ve a heart for romance when it comes to others. I’ve no interest in it myself.”
I knew little of love, but I knew every word Jerry said was a lie. If my own discomfort hadn’t been so evident, I had no doubt Jerry would’ve kissed me.
“Is that so? Do ye not worry that ye will be lonely?”
His voice was colder than usual when he spoke. The intimacy between us only moments ago was gone, and that Jerry was now replaced with someone distant and dismissive.
“Do ye believe marriage means ye willna be lonely? I’ve known many who were far more lonely once married than they ever were before.”
Although I found the notion depressing, I suspected it to be true.
“Mayhap so. Did ye know I’ve another suitor arriving tomorrow?”
His brows lifted in surprise. The thought of another man coming here with the intent to marry me bothered him. His jaw clenched and his hands bunched into fists as soon as I told him. His actions and words were at complete odds with one another.
Love Beyond Reach: Book 8 of Morna’s Legacy Series Page 8
