by Tina Beckett
“Sniping? Why, you...” Abbie clutched her stomach with both hands.
Jess rolled her eyes. Whenever challenged by anyone—her parents, her friends, her sister—Abbie always felt dizzy, or sick...or too exhausted to “have this conversation”.
“Let’s just call a truce and go back to our own sides of the room, okay?”
“I think—” Her sister moaned. “I think something’s wrong with the baby.”
She suddenly realized all the color had leached from Abbie’s face. Her sister had also reached out to grip the table, knocking over a tiered set of plates that held expensive hors d’oeuvres.
Crash!
The china exploded on the ground spraying tiny crab cakes and stuffed mushrooms in every direction.
The whole room went silent, all eyes coming to rest on the twins. Jess’s anger transformed to horror.
Because Abbie wasn’t acting or trying to garner sympathy. Jess recognized the signs enough to know her sister was in labor.
And the baby was two months early.
CHAPTER TWO
SHE’D BEEN HERE for hours.
Dean Edwards had popped into Cambridge Royal’s Special Care Baby Unit five times since his shift started to check on his tiny charges, and each time he’d spied her standing in almost the exact same spot with her shoulder propped against the wall staring at the row of cots.
Dressed in a red party frock that hugged her slender frame, she’d obviously come from some kind of celebration. Only she wasn’t celebrating now.
In fact, she looked devastated, as if the baby she hovered over had passed away. But although tiny, the newborn was very much alive. And right now, those bloodshot eyes and tracks of mascara were doing a number on his gut, and he didn’t like it.
Not much got to him in his thirty-five years. Except a woman crying. It brought back memories of unhappy times and unhappy people.
He’d been willing to let her stand there as he worked, but the increasing tightness in his throat finally drove him to clear it and cross over to her.
“She’s going to be okay, you know.” He kept his voice low and soothing, partly to avoid startling the sleeping babies and partly to keep her from realizing how her obvious grief had affected him.
She didn’t even glance in his direction. “It’s my fault she’s here in the first place.”
That made him frown. “Sometimes these things just happen.”
“Do they?”
Light brown wounded eyes swung to meet his and the punch to his midsection was nothing like that earlier uneasiness.
“Yes.” He leaned his shoulder against the same wall so that their faces would be level with each other. Long and lean, she was still a head shorter than he was. “And you need to get some rest. You can’t do her any good, if you’re exhausted.”
Her eyes closed for a minute and her chest rose and fell before she looked at him again. “I’m not her mother.”
Those words made his frown deepen. Had he detected a wistful note in her voice? “I know who you are.”
“I’m Jessica...” She blinked, arms wrapping around her waist. “You do?”
Why so surprised? They’d spoken on the phone earlier today.
“Did you think you were invisible or something? If so, you should know—” he leaned in closer and lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper “—your invisibility cloak might need recharging.”
That was the truth, because with her long blonde hair, soft caring eyes and a laugh that could melt the hardest of hearts, there was no way he could have missed noticing her from the moment she’d started working at the hospital. And because of that, he’d done his damnedest to avoid her. Until now. When he couldn’t.
A trace of a smile appeared on her face. “Really? Because most times, I pretty much feel... Scratch that.” She stood upright with a shrug. “Sometimes people confuse me with my sister. We do look quite alike.”
The sister?
He’d seen her. Had been there right after her baby was born. And while there were obvious similarities in coloring and bone structure, that ended when you looked beyond, to what was inside. Maybe her sister’s frown lines were due to worry about her child, but Dean didn’t think so. Because Jessica’s brows were smooth and clear. The only lines she had were little crinkles at the far corners of her eyes that spoke of smiles and laughter.
“Do you think so?” he asked. “Because I’m just not seeing it.”
Up went delicate brows. “We’re twins. Identical twins.”
He couldn’t stop himself from poking at what was evidently a sore spot. This woman revealed a lot about herself without saying much at all. “So you’re saying not even your mother could tell you apart?”
“Of course she could, it’s just that...” Another quick breath. “Some people can’t.”
Dean glanced at the babies across from him, a rare moment when they were still all snoozing away, the clicking of ventilators and beeping machinery the only sounds in the room besides the two of them. He’d like to keep it that way, if possible. These little ones needed rest. Lots of it. They weren’t the only ones. Jessica Black looked well and truly exhausted, so much so that he was surprised she was still standing. She needed to take a break.
Against his better judgement, Dean was going to suggest she do just that.
“Have you been home yet?”
She shook her head, still staring at the cots. “I don’t want to leave.”
“I know, but you look like you could use some downtime—I know I could. Do you want to go somewhere and grab a bite? My treat.”
Something about the way she’d blamed herself for her niece’s premature birth made him want to find out why she would think something like that. The time he’d seen her sister beside the baby’s incubator had given him pause. Jess had been there as well, but the sisters hadn’t spoken a word to each other. In fact, the chill in the room had been almost palpable.
Instead of nodding or politely turning him down, Jess blinked. “Excuse me?”
Not quite the reaction he’d expected. “I was asking if you wanted to get something to eat.”
“I heard what you said.”
Okay, so coming over here to comfort her was evidently the wrong choice. She didn’t seem to want it. Any of it.
Since he’d already asked, though, what choice did he have except to see this through to the bitter end?
“So, is that a yes? Or a no?”
“Oh, it’s definitely a no. Not interested.” She shook her head. “I may look like her, but I’m definitely not her. And your timing, by the way, is lousy.”
Timing?
Bloody hell. Did she think he was trying to hit on her because she looked like her sister? If so, this day was just getting better and better. He’d heard bits and pieces of enough conversations to know that he had a reputation. An undeserved one. He was squeaky clean as far as keeping his professional life separate from his private. Beyond that, though, all bets were off.
He forced himself to glance at his watch and give her an easy grin, even as his back molars ground against each other. “Really? Because where I come from, timing is everything. And this is the time I normally eat supper. Not go to bed.”
There were several seconds of absolute silence. When she looked at him again, her cheeks bloomed with red.
Maybe he should soften his words a little. “I promise this is about sitting down to a meal and giving yourself a much-needed break. Nothing else.”
“Oh, Lord.” She tipped her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. “I’m sorry. I just... I thought...”
Yeah, sweetheart. I know exactly what you thought. And she was partially right. With a roomful of sick babies, and after a particularly exhausting shift, bed was exactly where his mind was hea
ding.
As in falling into it. To sleep. By himself.
“Supper,” he confirmed. “I’ll stay on my side of the table the whole time.”
If anything, her color deepened. “It’s been a difficult day. It was my parents’ anniversary. And with Abbie going into labor in the middle of it, I’m not thinking straight.”
All my fault.
Wasn’t that what she’d said when he first came over to talk to her?
Suddenly he wanted to know why she blamed herself. “Which is why you need to get away for a bit. I know a great little place just around the corner that serves wonderful Indian cuisine. And it leans a bit to the fancy side, so you won’t be overdressed.” He allowed the side of his mouth to kick up again to reassure her.
She didn’t smile back. Instead, her glance went to her dress and then back toward the row of special-care cots. “Are you sure she’ll be okay?”
Instead of answering her, and since he couldn’t give her any long-term prognosis at the moment, Dean took his stethoscope from around his neck and dropped it into his pocket. After washing his hands, he went over to the baby’s incubator. He could feel Jess’s eyes on him the whole time as he slid his hands through the holes on the side of the bed and stroked a tiny hand, checking the readouts on the stand next to the cot.
“She’s stable.” For the moment, although he knew that could change at any time. “She’ll be watched carefully, but I can leave a call number for us at the desk if it’ll make you feel better.”
“Yes. It would. Thank you.”
Dean wasn’t sure why she wanted them to ring her rather than the baby’s own mother, but he knew better than to ask.
Snapping off his gloves and discarding them, he motioned toward the door. “I’ll just go hang up my coat and sign out. Do you want to meet me by the front door of the maternity unit?”
She nodded. “I’ll let my sister know where I’m going.” Without another word, she slid through the door of the SCBU and headed down the hallway, her red dress swishing around her hips in a way that made him rethink just how tired he was.
Too tired.
And she worked at the hospital.
A combination that had “do not touch” written all over it.
Dean had never been one to play by any set of rules except his own. But this was definitely one of them: don’t get involved with any one female...and especially not one he worked with on a regular basis. Even though Jess didn’t work on his floor and he didn’t see her every day, it still counted. Getting too involved could get tricky. And ugly.
If ever he needed to stick to the game plan, it was now. He’d been able to abide by his inner rules in the past. And he could damn well do it now.
* * *
Jess recognized the place. All those rumors about Dean were usually centered around this particular restaurant—as in he’d been spotted here. More than once, and always with a woman in tow.
She swallowed. With soft lighting and half walls that divided the space into smaller clusters of diners, she could see why. The restaurant fostered an atmosphere of quiet intimacy.
For what? Discreet affairs?
Jess wasn’t sure what madness had her sitting across from the playboy of Cambridge Royal, but something had obviously addled her brain. And from the way the hostess greeted him by name, eyes journeying over his tie and dress shirt—and the way he filled it out—as they came through the door, he’d been here many times before.
That brought up another question. The tie. Where had he come up with that? Did he keep one in his office just for spur-of-the-moment dinner dates? If so, it evidently got a lot of use. It would seem those rumors were true.
Which brought her back around to the insanity of being here. With him.
That argument with her sister and its aftermath had left her heartsick. Even her mum had shot her a couple of disappointed glances as they’d waited for the doctors to check Abbie over.
Had she done enough to avoid that confrontation? She’d tried to shut it down, but, in her desperation to get away, she’d been much harsher than necessary.
But the idea that she’d been engaging in some long-distance pillow talk with Martin while he was away on business trips was so ludicrous, she hadn’t been sure how to answer her. Abbie didn’t even have proof that Martin was engaging in anything of the sort. With anyone. Just some vague messages on his phone that could have meant anything.
Why hadn’t Jess just walked away the second she realized her sister’s temper was beginning to flare out of control? Instead, she’d stood there and defended herself in front of a roomful of guests. Moving the venue of the anniversary party to Cambridge had already made for a tense atmosphere, and by fighting with Abbie in the middle of their celebration she’d made things worse for everyone. Including that little one hooked up to machines in the Special Care Unit.
God. Her eyes closed as another shard of guilt stabbed through her stomach.
“Hey. You okay?”
Dean’s voice had a gruff soothing quality as it drifted over her. One she’d never noticed before this second.
She blinked back to awareness. Exactly what did that mean? She only crossed paths with the man in those odd moments when their jobs intersected, which wasn’t all that often. Her midwife duties kept her in one section of the hospital, while Dean’s kept him in another.
But you noticed him. You know you did. How could you not with all that gossip about his exploits?
Yes. She’d heard those stories. Time and time again. Only no one she knew had actually claimed to have made it into Dean Edwards’ bed. Or anywhere else, for that matter. But he’d been seen around Cambridge. And never with the same woman. The descriptions varied, but the pattern didn’t.
“I’m fine.” She toyed with her serviette. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask for the fifth time if he was sure it was all right to leave the baby, but she clamped down on it just in time to stop the question from emerging. The hospital would ring if there was any change.
The waiter arrived with a bottle and a question on his face. When Dean nodded, the man poured white wine into both of their glasses. Not that she needed to be drinking at a time like this. But it was only one glass, and, since she didn’t keep any kind of alcohol in her house because of her dad, she didn’t get to indulge all that often. Maybe it would stop the mad pounding in her chest at sitting across from the first attractive man in...well, since she and Martin had broken it off. Her sister might as well have poisoned the entire male species. Or at least made Jess feel like the consolation prize to anyone who might show some interest. Because when she was set side by side with her sister, Abbie was the one they’d chosen. Every. Single. Time.
She and Abbie might look alike, but their personalities were at opposite ends of the spectrum. Jess was the socially awkward one, the one who had trouble forming and keeping deep friendships, while Abbie was vivacious and outgoing, able to charm anyone she came in contact with. And her sister always got what she wanted.
And what she’d wanted was the very thing Jess had always dreamed of having. A place where she lived in no one else’s shadow...where she truly belonged. At one time she’d equated that with having her own home and family.
When that possibility had been ripped away, she’d thrown herself into her job, doing all she could for her patients and their little ones. Maybe her parents were right. Maybe she was too dedicated. Looking at her tiny new niece had made her stomach churn with a longing she’d all but forgotten.
This was Abbie’s fourth baby.
Jess had none. And no prospects of a serious relationship or any children in the near future.
She picked up her glass of wine, swirling the liquid to block the direction of her thoughts. Conversation. That was what she needed. Racking her brain, she tried to think of something that would break the
growing silence. Something witty. Something that would make her feel a little less dull. Dean’s eyes were now on her, a slight furrow forming between his brows.
Say something!
“I’ve never been here before. Do you come here often?”
Oh, no! Why had she asked that, of all things? A few seconds of silence followed the question before he spoke.
“Often enough.”
His jaw tightened a fraction.
This was definitely where he brought his women.
His women?
She crinkled her nose at that thought. Wow, she was really outdoing herself tonight. Worse, what if someone she knew was here? She sank a little lower in her seat, taking a sip of wine and swallowing it. “Really? It’s my very first time.”
Dean, who’d been in the process of lifting his glass to his lips, stopped with it midway to its goal. The furrow between his brows deepened, then he gave his head a slight shake as if clearing it and took a drink. A good-sized one if the movement of his throat was any indication.
Did he think she was flirting with him? She hoped not, because if he did, there was no telling what he might—
“What are you thinking about?”
Caught!
“My niece.”
Those words brought her back to earth with a bump. Her niece’s situation was the only reason she was sitting here in this restaurant.
Could the newborn sense the antagonism flowing between her and her sister, even in the SCBU? Abbie hadn’t spoken to her since the baby’s delivery, despite her mother’s attempts at playing peacemaker.
Poor Mum. Some anniversary this had turned out to be.
He set his wine down. “You said it was your fault. You know that’s not true.”
“Abbie and I were in the middle of a row. She went into labor. If I’d just walked away...”
Would the outcome have been any different? Abbie had been bound and determined to have her say.
But surely Jess could have changed the direction of the conversation. Maybe. Her sister had always known exactly which buttons to push—which insecurities to choose—to get her going. Today had been no exception.
