by Tina Beckett
Jess whirled around to find the man in question standing just behind her, his brown hair rumpled as if he’d run his fingers through it many times. His eyes looked tired. In fact, he looked flat-out exhausted.
“Hard day?” The words had come out before she’d had a chance to think things through.
“Pretty bad.” He reached down to link one of his fingers with her, making her tense up. “I just want to settle down on the couch with a cuppa and you.”
Ugh. He was laying it on pretty thick. She’d almost gotten used to his teasing over the last day or two, maybe because he restricted it to when they were around her family. But maybe she should talk to him about easing up. “I think Martin wanted to talk to you about Abbie.”
Martin’s face had slowly infused with red as they’d stood there. “It’s not important. It can wait for another time.”
“But Abbie—”
“Just needs some time to recover. Rest. You said it yourself.”
Dean tilted his head. “Is something worrying you? I can take a quick look before I head out.”
“It can wait until tomorrow.” He looked as if he was going to turn around and leave, but then he took a deep breath. “I held the baby for a while today. She seemed more alert.”
“She’s getting stronger.”
Martin’s eyes closed for a second. “Thank God. I’ll be sure to tell Abbie.”
“Has she been down there yet today?” Dean voiced what Jess had been thinking.
“No. Not today. Maybe tomorrow.” Martin’s voice didn’t sound any more sure than Jess’s had been when she’d gone to visit her sister today.
Not that she’d said much. To her, anyway.
Unwilling to let Martin walk away without her saying something, she pulled her hand from Dean’s grip and touched her ex’s sleeve. “You’ve got my mobile number if you need me, right?”
He nodded. “Yes. And, Jess...” There was a short pause. “Thank you for everything.”
“You’re welcome.”
With that he started back down the hall toward her sister’s room.
When she turned to face Dean again, he looked even less happy than he had a few minutes ago.
“What?”
“Should you be doing that?”
Confusion made her blink. “Doing what?”
“Encouraging him to ring you.”
“Is there a reason why I shouldn’t?”
He took a step closer. “I would think that would be obvious. Your sister is already suspicious. Asking him to ring your mobile...”
He thought she was encouraging him in a romantic way?
Confusion turned to anger. Why did everyone assume she was up to no good? Her sister. Her mum, during the party. And now Dean. “I only asked him to ring if he needed something.” She swallowed when that didn’t come out quite right and tried again. “If he or Abbie needed something, or if he was concerned about the baby. Besides, my whole family now believes we’re a couple. Thanks to you.”
“You seemed happy enough to go along with it at the time.”
She had been. But she was thinking more and more that this had been a mistake. It would be in everyone’s best interest to get those pictures, show them off to her family, and then go back to seeing Dean as little as possible. Which made her wonder why he’d wandered down to her part of the hospital in the first place. “Was there something you wanted?”
“As a matter of fact, yes. I spoke with my friend. The one with the horses. And he said we can come over anytime. We just need to let him know so that he can have our horses tacked up and ready to go.”
Ready to go. She doubted she would ever be ready. But she could do this. If she could survive her sister’s betrayal and now her accusations, she could surely survive sitting on a horse for a few seconds. It would be over before she knew it.
Ugh. Weren’t those the same words that Dean had used? Right before he’d called her “his girl”.
“I have the next couple of days off, so maybe the sooner we do this, the better.” She glanced at his face, again wondering at the tired lines beside his mouth. “Did something happen with a patient?”
“No. Just had some personal issues come up.”
Personal. As in another woman?
Oh, great. She hadn’t thought of that. That she might be cramping his style as far as his love life was concerned. “If you want to go out with someone, I don’t want to stand—”
One side of his mouth went up. “It’s not a woman. Although it might be a hell of a lot easier if it were.”
She flinched. As hard as she’d tried to remain stock-still, those words had hit her hard.
“Hey.” He wrapped warm fingers around her upper arm and edged her down the hallway until he came to an unoccupied room. He ducked inside, still towing her behind him.
“I don’t understand.”
“I don’t suppose you do.” He looked torn, as if part of him wanted to explain what was going on and the other part didn’t.
“It’s my father,” he finally said. “It appears he’s just been released from prison. They’ve lost track of him and are afraid he might show up here at the hospital.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
HE WASN’T SURE why he’d told Jess about his father. Maybe because he wanted her to be prepared if the man suddenly burst into the hospital looking for him.
Damn. The last thing he wanted to see was that part of his past. It was also the last thing he wanted Jess to see. In spite of the tension between her and her twin, Jess’s home life was so...normal. Her mum seemed a little prickly at times, but her parents had been married for thirty years, for God’s sake. And he’d bet his life that her father had never once lifted a hand to his wife or daughters.
Flipping a pencil into the cup on his desk, he felt as if he was caught in a vat of quicksand. Telling her had probably been a mistake. And yet if he hadn’t...
Did he even know what his father looked like after all these years? No. But if he knew the man, one of the first things he’d do was head for the nearest pub. After that...
He stood. It would do no good at all to sit here and brood. He’d arrived early to work this morning so that he would be able to leave early and take Jess to the horse stable, and then they were off to an ice-skating rink that wasn’t far from where his friend lived. Maybe between the stable and swirling around on the ice, her family would believe they were indeed a pair.
And he’d bet that Jess could use a break.
Speaking of Jess’s sister, he wanted to make a quick stop at the SCBU and see how Marissa was doing this morning. He made it halfway down the hall and caught sight of Abbie at the nurses’ desk talking with one of the special-care nurses. Deidre...perfect.
Abbie half turned toward him and her mouth shut in a hurry, the pink hue that was so common to Jess’s cheeks seeping into Abbie’s. Did she not want him to hear their conversation?
If so, it was none of his business. Except Deidre was also staring at him.
He nodded at her as he arrived, only to have her nod back and then hurry away. Abbie was now fidgeting with her sweater.
That was right. She’d been released from hospital as of this morning. He’d only seen her in a hospital gown until now. She appeared a little softer somehow. More human.
Looks could be deceiving, however.
“How is the baby?”
Abbie glanced at her hands, which were splayed across the nurse’s desk. “I was heading there now. Do you want to walk with me?”
Dean immediately went on alert, but covered it with a smile. “I was going there as well. Shall we?”
He dropped into step beside Abbie and waited for whatever she wanted to say. Because it was pretty obvious something was on her mind.
It didn�
��t take long.
“I think I may have let the cat out of the bag.”
Every muscle inside of him went taut with tension. Had Jess told Abbie about his father and the worry that he might come to the hospital? He hoped not. It wasn’t exactly something he wanted broadcast through the gossip chain. He still wasn’t even sure why he’d told Jess about it.
Maybe because his first reaction was to protect those he cared about from whatever his father might do.
Which meant what? That he cared for Jess?
Of course he did. As a friend and as a colleague.
So why hadn’t he told Deidre or any of his other work acquaintances?
He ignored the question and focused on Abbie. “And what might you have let out of the bag?”
“I happened to mention you were dating my sister to a couple of the nurses, and they seemed surprised.”
Relief washed over him. As bad as that was, it seemed a whole lot better than everyone finding out about his father or his childhood.
His focus narrowed. Actually it wasn’t better. And he was pretty sure Jess would agree with him. “We were trying to keep that quiet, actually.”
She nodded. “I guess I realize that now, from people’s reactions. But I... I was just so surprised that Jess was actually seeing someone that it just came out.”
Did she really expect him to believe that? Or was she fishing for information, as Jess’s dad had seemed to do. And what could he use for an excuse? It came to him just as they reached the door of the special-care nursery. “We haven’t made things official yet, so I didn’t want her to be bombarded by a thousand questions.”
“I guess I can understand that.” Abbie’s voice held more than a tinge of curiosity.
They arrived at the SCBU and he held open the door and waited for her to go in. She had the grace to look slightly sheepish. “I won’t say anything else, then.”
“Thank you.” He eyed her. “Let me help you hold your baby.”
“Oh, but...” Her voice died away as if she couldn’t really think of a good excuse to refuse.
What was wrong with her? His mum had never been very maternal, but he’d always assumed that was because she’d lived in fear for so many years. Had his life really started out like this? Had his mum been at all eager to hold him as a child? She’d never had any other kids.
Well, this baby was going to get at least one good cuddle from her mother before she left the hospital.
“There’s a chair right in front of her cot. If you’ll slide into one of those gowns hanging on the pegs and then get yourself settled, I’ll check her over and then let you hold her.”
“Very well. Let’s make it quick, shall we?”
Dean frowned. Jess might let her sister run roughshod over her, but Dean was not about to let her do it to him. He took his time checking the baby’s color and checking the obs the nurse had posted on the chart. Abbie and Martin’s baby was very lucky. She was strong and healthy. Too small to be released, but there was no reason to think she wouldn’t go on to have a very normal life.
Glancing to the side, he noted that Abbie had donned the requisite gown and was perched on the very edge of the plastic chair. “Go ahead and scoot back so that you’re comfortable before you hold her. It’ll be a lot more difficult for you to get settled once she’s in your arms.”
Abbie pushed herself to the very back of the chair. She didn’t look more comfortable, though. That was neither here nor there as far as he was concerned.
Carefully opening the top of the special cot, he checked the wires and tubes to make sure nothing was tangled, then, sliding one gloved hand beneath the baby’s neck to support it and the other beneath her nappy, he lifted her up, holding her close to his body and absorbing that quintessential baby smell as he pivoted on his heel. Abbie was still sitting exactly as she had been...hands clasped together in her lap.
“Hold out your arms, and I’ll place her in them.”
There was a pause of two or three seconds before she actually did as he requested. “Ready?”
She gave a curt nod.
Dean set the baby into the crook of Abbie’s left arm and waited to make sure she had her before moving away.
“She doesn’t look like him.” Her voice was small. Quiet. So quiet he thought he must have misunderstood her.
“I’m sorry?”
“Nothing.” She seemed to come to herself. “Babies don’t always look like their parents when they’re this small, after all.”
“Not always. No.” A sense of foreboding rose up. Something was wrong with this picture, but he had no idea what it was. When Jess had held the baby, it had seemed so natural. She’d looked down at her niece with such an expression of love that it had taken his breath away. There was none of that emotional vibe with Abbie. In fact, she seemed almost repelled.
Kind of like his mum had been with him?
But Abbie had other children. Children she seemed to love dearly.
It wasn’t up to him to understand anything except the physical health of these tiny, helpless beings.
Deidre poked her head into the room. “Dr. Edwards? One of Dr. Granger’s patients has eclampsia. She’s not due for almost three months. They’re asking for you.”
“Are they inducing?”
“Her blood pressure is too high. They’re going to take the baby now.”
The sense of foreboding he’d had a moment ago was nothing compared to the way his heart jerked and sprinted at a rate that he recognized.
Far too early. If they were going to take the baby it meant the mum’s life was in imminent danger. His job was to do what he could for the baby. “Tell them I’m on my way.”
Deidre ducked back out of the room.
“You can’t leave me here alone with her!” The panicked voice came from the chair.
Abbie. And she sounded more than dismayed. She sounded petrified.
He glanced down and saw he was right. Her eyes were wide with fear, her tense fingers tightening on Marissa’s tiny frame.
“I’ll send the nurse back in. I’m sorry, but I have to go.” Giving her no further chance to object, he turned and headed out of the door. He asked Deidre to check in on Abbie as he went down the hall.
When he arrived at the surgical suite he shoved his arms through a gown and scrubbed in. The interior of the room held the sort of ordered chaos he’d come to expect. As his mind picked apart what was what, he saw that he’d arrived just as obstetrical surgeon Sean Anderson was making a vertical incision in the patient’s lower abdomen.
Not good.
It meant they weren’t worried about scarring or anything except getting that baby out as quickly as possible.
He moved into position. “Baby’s obs?”
Sean glanced his way for a second, but didn’t slow his pace. “Heart rate is good, but there was no time to administer anything to speed maturation of the lungs. I don’t know what we’re going to find.”
He nodded, but knew better than to say anything else. They were in a fight for the life of the mother. Saving both mum and child was always the goal. All he could do was his best once the baby was born.
Sean opened the uterus and reached inside. Out came a perfectly formed baby boy. So tiny. So damned tiny.
His heart seized as they clamped and cut the cord, not even trying to get the baby to breathe.
“She’s bleeding. I need some suction in here!” Sean handed the preemie off to him, caught up in the struggle to get the mum’s bleeding under control. Eclampsia’s high blood pressure put the patient at risk for heart attack or stroke. When medication didn’t work, the only solution was to remove what was causing the spike in pressure: the baby.
The nurses assigned to the infant rushed with him to the table, everyone having his own job. They
suctioned the mouth, administered oxygen, rubbed the baby with towels...anything to get him breathing. Nothing. Listening to the baby’s heart, he found the rate slow. Too slow. “We need to intubate, right now.”
There were two battles being fought in the room. One to save the life of the mother. And one to save the life of her baby.
In the background, he vaguely heard Sean still yelling out orders to those on his team. His own team of nurses worked with a timed precision that made him proud on one level. On another, he wondered if it would be enough.
Once the intubation tube was in place and oxygen was pumped directly into the lungs, he waited until another nurse had the feed electrodes pasted to the baby boy’s chest. They turned on the monitor. The straight line turned to spikes. But they were shallow. And still too slow. Only ninety beats per minute when it should have been at least a hundred and twenty.
A quick test of reflexes found the baby did indeed have them. But for how long? At just over six months, it was iffy as to whether the baby would even survive the night. But he was determined to give the infant the best possible chance. “Let’s get him over to SCBU and see about those lungs.”
The baby was just over twenty-four weeks and weighed in at only one pound two ounces. Twenty-five was the normal threshold for viability, but, as rare as it was, he’d seen babies this premature make it.
He glanced back at Sean. They were suturing the mother. Their eyes met. “How’s the baby?”
“I won’t know for a while. Mum?”
“The bleeding’s under control. Blood pressure is coming down already. I think we’ve rounded the corner.”
That might be true for Sean’s patient, but for his own tiny charge that corner was still far in the distance. He could only hope the baby held on long enough for them to reach it.
* * *
“My parents left yesterday.”
Pulling into the driveway of Dean’s friend’s house, Jess could already see several horses out in a nearby pasture, while another one stood at the fence line next to the car just to their right. Heavy vapor poured from its nostrils with every puff of air, making the creature look like a dragon from a fairy tale. He might as well be breathing fire, from where Jess sat.
