by Tina Beckett
‘How about that cup of coffee you mentioned earlier?’
Molly jumped when he touched her lightly on the arm. She’d been so lost in her thoughts that she had no idea what he had said. ‘Pardon?’
‘Coffee.’ He smiled down at her, his blue eyes filled with laughter and another emotion that she had never expected to see again. Did he really care about her, or was he merely a highly accomplished actor? She had no idea and before she could attempt to work it out he slid his hand under her elbow. ‘I fancy a coffee and a croissant so will you join me, Molly? I think we deserve a treat after the busy night we had, don’t you?’
He briskly led her across the pavement to the café before she had a chance to reply, opening the café door with a flourish that set the brass bell jingling. Molly took a deep breath as she stepped inside, drinking in the scent of coffee and warm pastries. Her senses seemed to be ridiculously heightened all of a sudden so that the familiar aromas seemed richer and more enticing than ever. Even the colours of the checked tablecloths seemed brighter, the reds and blues and greens dazzling her eyes. It was as though she had stepped out of the gloom into full, glorious daylight and it was the strangest experience.
‘Oh, look. That couple’s leaving. Go and grab their table while I order our coffee.’
Sean gave her a little push towards the newly vacant table and Molly obediently headed in that direction. She sat down, automatically unwinding her scarf and removing her woolly hat. What was going on? Why did she feel this way, as though she had suddenly woken from a deep sleep?
‘Here we go. They’ll fetch our coffee over in a moment. I ordered you a latte. I hope that was OK. It used to be your favourite, if I remember correctly.’
Sean had reappeared with a tray heaped with warm croissants and miniature pots of jam and Molly jumped. She could feel her pulse popping as she watched him unload everything onto the table, croissants and jam, napkins and knives. He was quick and deft, his hands soon setting everything to rights, but that was his way. Whatever Sean did, he did it well. From work to something as mundane as setting a table, he gave it his all. That was why it had been such a pleasure to be with him. Everything appeared more interesting, more vibrant when Sean was around.
Even her.
Molly took a croissant off the plate and bit into it, savouring its buttery richness. It had been ages since anything had tasted so good, two years in fact. Two long years, during which time she had lived her life in the shadows. Now Sean was back, everything had changed. Now she felt completely and fully alive. And it simply proved just how desperately she needed to break his hold over her.
* * *
‘Thanks.’
Sean smiled as the waitress placed their coffees on the table. He saw the interest in the girl’s eyes as she smiled back at him but he ignored it. At any other time he might have been tempted to follow up on it and ask her out on a date. It was something he had done more times than he could count over the years, but he wasn’t even tempted. Not when he was with Molly. He simply wasn’t interested in other women when he was with her. He never had been.
It was a sobering thought, doubly so when it was the first time he had admitted it. When he and Molly had been seeing one another, he hadn’t looked at another woman. She had filled his thoughts to the exclusion of anyone else. Was that why he had ended their affair so abruptly? he wondered. Because he had realised on some inner level that he was getting far too involved with her? At the time he had told himself that he was doing it for her sake, that he was taking steps to protect her, but had his decision been less altruistic than he had thought? Had he been trying to protect himself as much as her?
It was an unsettling thought and one that Sean knew he was going to have to think about. He couldn’t just brush it under the carpet as he normally would do—that wouldn’t work. He needed to examine his feelings, face up to how he had felt two years ago, and take whatever action was necessary to ensure it didn’t happen again. The problem was that he had put Molly on a bit of a pedestal, painted her in his mind as the ideal woman, and it was time he stopped doing that. Maybe Molly’s plan wasn’t so way off-beam as he had thought. If they resumed their affair, it could help him put things into perspective.
It was something else that Sean knew he needed to think about, but not right now. He helped himself to a croissant, murmuring appreciatively as he bit into it. ‘This is delicious! No wonder the place is packed, although I don’t remember the food being this good when I ate here before.’
‘The café changed hands last year and, apparently, the new owner is French and only uses French milled flour for his croissants and pastries,’ Molly informed him, wiping her buttery fingers on a paper napkin.
‘Really? Well, good for him. It’s obviously paying dividends.’
Sean grinned at her, thinking how pretty she looked that day. She was wearing a pale pink sweater and jeans and she looked so young and so fresh as she sat there, enjoying her breakfast, that it was little wonder that he had always loved being with her. And it was that thought which helped to unleash all sorts of memories he had thought he had buried.
‘Remember those croissants we used to buy from the supermarket?’ he said reminiscently. ‘We used to heat them in the microwave so they were always slightly soggy yet we still ate them.’
* * *
‘Yes, I remember,’ Molly said quietly, wishing that he hadn’t brought up the subject. It had become a sort of ritual for them—if their days off had coincided then Sean would make coffee for them while she warmed up the croissants and then they would take everything back to bed. More often than not the coffee would grow cold because once they were under the covers the inevitable would happen...
‘We didn’t always get to eat them, though, did we, Molly?’
His tone was brooding and she knew that he was remembering what had happened, how their desire for each other had overruled everything else. Sean had wanted her just as much as she had wanted him, which made his subsequent actions all the more difficult to understand. All of a sudden, Molly realised that she needed to know what had gone wrong, why he had ended their affair so abruptly and with so little warning.
‘What happened, Sean? What went wrong?’
‘I’m sorry?’
A frown furrowed his brow as he looked at her and Molly almost weakened. After all, what was the point of asking questions like that now? It wouldn’t change what had happened—nothing would. And yet there was still this need to know why he had behaved the way he had. Even allowing for the fact that Sean had made it clear that he didn’t do commitment, it was strange.
‘Something must have happened to make you end our relationship so suddenly, so what was it? Was it something I did?’
‘You didn’t do anything. I just felt that it was the best thing to do,’ he said flatly.
‘Best for who?’ She gave a brittle little laugh. ‘Were you tired of me, Sean—was that it? Did you want someone more exciting in your life?’
‘No. It wasn’t that.’ He reached across the table and touched her hand. ‘I was never, ever bored when we were together, Molly. That’s the truth. I swear.’
He withdrew his hand and she had a feeling that he was trying to decide what to say. She held her breath, wondering what he was going to tell her, but in the end he merely picked up his cup and drank some of his coffee.
Molly sipped her own coffee, wondering why she felt so deflated. There was no reason to believe that Sean had some secret he was hiding, yet she couldn’t shake off the idea that something in his past had had a huge bearing on his actions. She sighed as she reached for another pastry. It was merely wishful thinking; she was looking for a complicated reason to explain why he had ended their affair when the truth was far simpler. He had tired of her and had wanted a change.
CHAPTER FIVE
SEAN COULDN’T BELIEVE
how tempted he’d been to tell Molly all about Claire and the vow he had made. After all, what would it have achieved? It wouldn’t have changed anything. On the contrary, it could have made matters worse. Molly might have thought he was aiming for the sympathy vote and he really couldn’t bear that.
He reached for a second croissant then stopped when the café door was flung open and a woman came rushing in. Sean immediately leapt to his feet when he saw the panic on her face. He was already heading towards her even before she managed to speak.
‘It’s my husband! He’s collapsed. Can someone help me? Please!’
‘Where is he?’ Sean took hold of her arm when she swayed. ‘I’m a doctor so show me where he is and I’ll see what I can do to help.’
‘He’s over there, by the Christmas tree. We were listening to the carol singers when he suddenly started acting really strange,’ the woman explained as she led the way to where a crowd was starting to gather.
‘In what way was he acting strange?’ Sean asked, pushing his way through the onlookers. Someone had placed the man in the recovery position, so he knelt down beside him and checked his pulse then made sure he was breathing.
‘I don’t know...he couldn’t seem to speak properly ’cos his mouth was drooping at one side and he couldn’t move his left arm either.’ The middle-aged woman bit back a sob. ‘I tried to get him to tell me what was wrong but it was as though he couldn’t hear me and then all of a sudden he just fell down onto the ground and didn’t move.’
‘I see,’ Sean said quietly. It sounded very much like a stroke to him and the sooner the man was moved to hospital the better his chances would be. He looked up when Molly came to join them, nodding when she told him that she had phoned for an ambulance. ‘Thanks. Can you get back onto Ambulance Control and tell them it looks like a stroke? That way, everyone will be prepared when he arrives at A&E.’
‘Of course.’ She swiftly made the call then knelt down beside him. ‘How’s his breathing?’
‘So far, so good. Pulse is a bit erratic, but that’s only to be expected.’ He glanced up at the man’s wife. ‘Did he complain of a headache shortly before it happened?’
‘No. He seemed perfectly fine. We were just going to listen to another couple of carols and then go and have a drink in the café before we went home,’ the poor woman replied. ‘Why did you ask that? Do you know what’s wrong with him?’
‘I’m afraid it looks very much like he’s had a stroke,’ Sean explained gently, knowing it would be a shock for her.
‘A stroke,’ she repeated. Tears rushed to her eyes. ‘Is...is he going to die?’
Molly stood up and put her arm around her. ‘Let’s not assume the worst,’ she told her quietly. ‘The main thing now is to get your husband to hospital so he can receive treatment.’
‘Can you treat him, though? My dad had a stroke when I was a teenager and there was nothing anyone could do...’
She broke off, too upset to continue, and Sean sighed. This was a part of his job he hated, trying to reassure relatives while not making any promises he might not be able to keep.
‘We’ve made a lot of advances in the way we treat stroke patients in recent years. Your husband will be given anticoagulants to break down any clots that may have formed in his brain. It’s a treatment that can have very positive results.’
‘What if it’s a burst blood vessel, though? That’s what happened to my dad—a blood vessel burst and caused a massive bleed in his brain.’
‘Your husband will have a CT scan at the hospital to rule that out. However, the fact that he didn’t complain of a severe headache would point towards it being a clot rather than a bleed,’ Sean explained.
He looked up when the wail of a siren announced the arrival of the ambulance. Molly was still talking to the woman, doing her best to reassure her, so Sean left her to it while he did the hand-over. It didn’t take long as he hadn’t administered any form of treatment so within minutes the ambulance was on its way. Molly sighed as she watched it drive off.
‘Think he’ll make it?’
‘He stands a pretty good chance,’ Sean replied quietly. ‘Prompt treatment can make a huge difference in a case like this and that’s what he will receive.’
‘Yes, you’re right. His poor wife, though. It must be a terrible shock when something like that happens to someone you love.’
‘Your life changes in an instant,’ Sean agreed, knowing only too well how that felt. Loving someone made you vulnerable and it was a timely reminder that he needed to get a grip on his emotions. He couldn’t go through that kind of heartache a second time, which was why he needed to keep his distance from Molly.
It was a sobering thought. As Sean followed her back into the café, he realised that he needed to forget any ideas he had harboured about them resuming their affair. Although it might resolve certain issues, what if it created a whole lot more? Even though it wasn’t easy to admit it, he had been far more involved with her than he had thought, and it was scary to wonder what might happen in the future if they grew close again.
‘I’d better get off home. Thanks for the coffee.’
Molly pulled on her hat then wound her scarf around her neck in readiness to leave and Sean was suddenly struck by an inexplicable need to explain why he had ended their relationship two years ago. Would it help if he told her the real reason why he could never commit himself? he wondered. Once Molly understood then maybe they could both move on; she could put it all behind her and he could stop thinking about how he had felt when they had been together. The last thing he wanted was Molly going ahead with her plan to seduce him—that would be a complete and utter disaster!
‘There’s something I should have told you ages ago,’ he said hurriedly.
‘I really can’t see the point of dragging up the past at this stage, Sean.’ She looked up and her expression was so distant that he fell silent. She gave him a tight little smile as she picked up her gloves. ‘If it was that important then you should have told me before now. It’s really none of my business now, is it? We’re not together any more.’
She was right; there was no point in baring his soul after all this time. He was only going to be in Dalverston for a few more weeks and after that he would make sure that he never came back here again. No, the time for confessions was long gone and he would be foolish to imagine it would make any difference if he told her the truth.
‘You’re right. It’s all water under the bridge, isn’t it?’ He treated her to a deliberately bright smile. ‘I think I’ll have another coffee before I head off home. I’ll see you tonight, I expect.’
‘I expect so.’
She matched his smile, wattage for wattage, then headed for the door. Sean went to the counter and ordered himself a double espresso, hoping that a serious shot of caffeine would help to get him back on track. He was allowing his emotions to get the better of him, something he never did, and he had to stop.
He sighed as he took his coffee back to the table and sat down. It was being around Molly that was causing him to behave so out of character. It had been exactly the same two years ago—he had known that he and Molly could never have a long-term relationship, yet he had put off breaking up with her until it had been almost too late. She had the strangest effect on him, made him long for things he knew he could never have, but he was going to stand firm, no matter what.
He took a sip of coffee, shuddering as the caffeine hit his central nervous system. It might be tempting but being back in Molly’s arms was something he intended to avoid at all costs.
CHAPTER SIX
MOLLY FELT EXHAUSTED when she arrived at work that night. The lack of sleep combined with everything else that had happened recently had taken their toll and her energy levels were at an all-time low. It was all she could do to dredge up a smile when she found Suzy in the staffroom.<
br />
‘You look absolutely shattered!’ Suzy exclaimed. She put her hands on her hips and glared at Molly. ‘I hope it hasn’t anything to do with Sean Fitzgerald. You had a bit of thing for him the last time he worked here, didn’t you?’
‘All water under the bridge,’ Molly declared, groaning when she unwittingly repeated the phrase Sean had used only that morning. It shouldn’t have been a surprise. After all, she had spent most of the day thinking about him. Had he been going to share some sort of a confidence with her? she wondered for the umpteenth time, and sighed. Even if he had, he had soon thought better of it. No, Sean wasn’t about to share any confidences with her. She wasn’t that important to him.
She brushed aside that depressing thought. ‘You know what they say, Suzy. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a real live prince.’
‘And that’s honestly how you view him, is it?’ Suzy retorted. ‘As just another frog?’
‘Well, he certainly hasn’t turned into a prince,’ Molly stated.
She swept out of the door before Suzy could reply, knowing that she wasn’t up to having a discussion about this particular frog prince. Although Suzy knew that she had dated Sean when he had last worked there, her friend had no idea how Molly had really felt about him. After all, everyone in the hospital knew that Sean didn’t do commitment so there was no reason why Suzy should have guessed that she had fallen so heavily for him and that was how she wanted it to remain. It was bad enough knowing what a fool she had been without everyone else knowing it too.
Molly did the handover then took her first patient to Cubicles. Abbey Jones was suffering from severe stomach cramps which she thought were the result of a curry she had eaten that lunchtime. Her boyfriend had brought her into hospital but Molly asked him to remain in the waiting room while she got Abbey settled. She needed to ask Abbey some questions and she preferred to do so in private as it didn’t sound to her as though Abbey was suffering from food poisoning.
