by Matt Shaw
2.
The country house stayed empty for a couple of days before a light blue Mercedes estate, with its back filled with boxes, pulled up on the stony driveway. As the car pulled in close to the garage, a large removal lorry appeared on the road. The lorry stopped and a passenger jumped from the cab. He ran across to the drive, turned back to the lorry and raised his hands to help guide the driver back as he reversed the truck down the driveway, towards the house.
A young, pretty female climbed from the car laughing and walked over to the boot of their car, “It’s bigger than I remembered,” she called out to the driver of the Mercedes - a big grin on her face. Her name was Emily. An attractive, petite woman in her late twenties with mousey-blonde hair and hazel eyes; her eyes being one of her new husband Jason’s favourite features.
“I thought this day was never going to come,” Jason replied as he jumped from the driver’s seat of the Merc. A dark haired professional man, with light facial stubble, in his early thirties. He looked across the large front garden towards the ‘sold’ sign which was sticking up where it had been planted in the garden’s soft earth. Emily gave a squeal of delight and ran across to the sign, ignoring the driver’s mate who was still navigating the lorry towards their new home. Using both hands she tried to pull the sign up from the dirt but it didn’t budge. The harder she tried, the less it seemed to move. It didn’t help her efforts when she started to get a fit of the giggles at her own inability to uproot the sign. “Okay,” said Jason, “maybe I’ll do it then.” He walked over and took hold of the sign - moving Emily’s hands in the process. “Budge over, woman! It’s a good job I didn’t marry you for your strength!” he teased.
Despite offering her the chance to remove the sign, he had had a sneaking feeling he’d end up doing it himself. This was, after all, the woman who often had to get him to help take the lids off the tops of bottles.
“Ready?” he asked. “Three, two....One!” He pulled with all of his strength - so much so that his face contorted with the effort he was putting in. Emily couldn’t help but laugh harder at his failing efforts. Jason released his grip and shook his hands, “Okay, that was the warm up!” he pointed out whilst his face reddened, giving away his obvious embarrassment.
“Of course it was, dear,” said Emily. A grin on her face to match that of the Cheshire Cat. She made no attempt to hide her patronising tone either. “You do realise, when this does come out of the ground, it’s because I loosened it for you, right?”
Jason gave it another tug but, again, it didn’t move. “Are you sure you didn’t push it in further?” he asked, “The bastard thing won’t budge!” he laughed.
Emily teased him right back, “It’s a good job I didn’t marry you for your strength, isn’t it?”
Jason released the pole and took a step back, “You know what...”
“What’s that?” asked Emily. She crossed her arms as she waited for Jason’s excuse. He always did this when he couldn’t do something. He’d try his hand at whatever needed doing for a couple of minutes and would then find a reason which meant he didn’t have to see it through to the end because it was too tricky for him.
“I think we should leave it here,” he said.
“Oh?”
“It adds character to the house.”
“Character?” Emily tried not to laugh.
“Yeah. Don’t you think? A certain little charm. It shows that someone loves the house...”
Emily played along with him, “I suppose it does.”
“Shows people it’s sold.”
“The word ‘sold’ does give it away a bit.”
“And that, in turn, means we won’t get any squatters coming up the drive to try their luck...You know...A sneaky look into the windows to see if the house is empty or not.”
“Well, seeing as you put it like that,” said Emily as she desperately tried to hide her smile, “what say we leave the sign there for a while longer?”
“Exactly my thoughts,” said Jason.
“Well they do say ‘great minds think alike’.”
“And we could always have another go at removing it from the garden after a heavy rain?” he said.
“Because heavy rain does tend to scare squatters off so we’ll be safe from them coming up our driveway to scope out the house...”
“Exactly!”
Emily was unsure whether Jason ignored her sarcasm or just didn’t spot it because he was too wrapped up in his lame excuse as to why he should leave the sold sign in the garden.
“Where do you want everything?” one of the removal men shouted from the back of the parked lorry.
Jason called out to them, “We’ll be right there...Just start getting it off the lorry.” The removal man gave him a thumbs up to show he understood.
“What’s up?” asked Emily, confused as to why Jason didn’t just go over to start directing them.
“Nothing,” he smiled, “I just wanted to take a couple of minutes with my new wife.” He took her left hand with his right and pulled her close for a kiss on the cheek. She smiled. “I love you,” he said.
“I love you too,” she beamed.
Jason smiled and kissed her on the cheek again. “We’ll be happy here,” he said.
“I can’t believe it’s ours,” said Emily. They stayed in a warm embrace as they looked upon their new home. The sun setting behind it making it seemingly glow in the late afternoon haze; a truly picturesque image. “You still owe me a proper Honeymoon, though. This doesn’t count! I want a beach!”
“Bournemouth?”
“I want sun! Heat! Cocktails by the pool...”
“Jesus, you were never this needy before we got married,” Jason joked, “what happened?” There was a loud crash from the back of the lorry which got both of their attention, “Come on, we best give them a hand before they destroy everything.”
“Where did you find them again?” Emily asked as they both started walking back to where the lorry had parked up in front of their new home.
“Friend of a friend.” Another crash from the back of the lorry. “They were cheap,” he reminded Emily. He called out to the removal men, “You guys alright?” he asked them. He didn’t give them a chance to answer before continuing with, “More to the point - is our stuff okay?”
A large man appeared at the back of the lorry, “Sorry, man. Soon as we opened the back up, the boxes just started falling from the top!”
“Falling from the top?” Jason repeated.
The man nodded, “Never happened before...”
“You sure they were packed okay in the first place? A little rough driving...Some of them dislodged and were leaning awkwardly...”
“They were packed fine!” said the man - almost offended at what Jason was insinuating.
“Yeah, okay, well what say we start off loading them before anything else gets broken. We can talk about the blame game later on when I’m deducting it from the final payment.”
The man frowned and turned back into the lorry to save getting into an argument with his customer.
Emily raised her eyebrows at Jason, “Maybe next time we don’t go with the cheapest quote?”
“You think?”
Jason walked over to the front door and unlocked it. Emily walked back to the Mercedes where their pet dog, a young golden labrador called Roald, was barking impatiently - his tail wagging at the sight of the large garden waiting to be explored.
“Go on then,” said Emily as she freed Roald from the confines of the car, “do your business.” The dog, named after Jason’s favourite author Roald Dahl, didn’t need a second invitation and ran directly into the middle of the garden barking with excitement.
She closed the door and smiled as she watched Roald investigating his new surroundings. Their last house had only had a small garden so he rarely got to stretch his legs like this unless Jason took him for a walk during one of his writing breaks and, sadly for Roald, the writing breaks were few and far between for th
e newly published author - especially as his agent was continually breathing down his neck agitating for his next book. Emily took her eyes off the dog and looked towards the house. She couldn’t believe they had finally done it. They’d been renting property for so long she thought she’d never get on the housing ladder and, even when she dreamed of it, she never thought her first house would be as grand as this.
“Em!” Jason called over from the doorway. When he caught her eye he beckoned for her to come closer. She didn’t need asking twice and walked over.
“What is it?” she asked. He smiled and suddenly scooped her up in his arms making her scream in the process. “What are you doing?” she asked with a nervous laugh.
“I...I...” he struggled with his words whilst also struggling with his balance, “...It’s...It’s romantic!” he finally stuttered as he stepped over the threshold of the house. He lowered her back to the floor at the first opportunity. “Jesus! How much do you weigh?” he laughed as he playfully held his back.
“Fuck you!” she laughed. “We already established, with the sign, that you have no upper body strength. Too busy sitting on your arse tapping away on your keyboard all day!”
“Fair comment,” he looked around the hallway. A long hallway with the kitchen at the far end. More doors leading off the hallway which led to a living room, a separate dining room, an office space, downstairs toilet and a closet which he already knew would be used as nothing more than a dumping ground for items which didn’t have a proper home - such as the golf clubs he purchased on a whim one time, much to Emily’s horror.
He had used them once.
“I don’t even think we have enough stuff to fill this house,” he joked.
“I’m sure I can use the advance that you got for your new book to fill it up!” Emily smiled.
“Hmmm, I’ll bet you could...” he laughed. He put his arm around her again and gave her a tight squeeze. Another crash from the removal lorry outside reminded them both that they still had some work to do. “Goddamn it!”
Emily couldn’t help but laugh.
3.
Jason and Emily did have a honeymoon booked to coincide with their wedding; two weeks on one of the small islands just off the coast of Cuba - enticed there by the holiday company’s pictures showcasing the clear skies, the shining sun, the breathtaking sunsets overlooking the water, the water itself as clear as crystals shining beautifully in the sunshine. A little more research showed that it was the perfect, idealistic place to relax after the stresses of organising the wedding. Nothing to do other than soak up the rays on the beach front, snorkel, swim with dolphins and enjoy trips out to sea on one of the islands many tourist boats. The perfect location - one they both were very much looking forward to visiting. The honeymoon wasn’t cancelled as such. Instead it was postponed when they stumbled across the countryside house on the estate agent’s website whilst browsing one lazy afternoon.
They had been looking for a house for a good number of months but the houses they had seen were either too small, wrong location or simply too expensive - even with the substantial advance Jason had received for his new novel. It wasn’t the end of the world, though. They had already decided to wait until after the honeymoon before having a proper look at the market and making their move. After all, it was stressful enough planning the wedding - ensuring everyone was catered for, without having to worry about moving house too.
But then Jason stumbled across this house.
Neither Emily nor Jason believed it when they first saw the price advertised next to the picture of this home - their new home - and both were quick to question it when they called into the estate agents. The reason behind the slightly lower than expected price was just put down to the owners wanting a quick sale - something Jason was keen to exploit when he successfully managed to negotiate an even cheaper selling price.
As soon as their offer was accepted, they came to the mutual decision of postponing the honeymoon by a year. The holiday company charged them a few hundred pounds extra, due to the late notice, to move the honeymoon to a later date and the honeymoon period was used to move house instead - funded by the reasonable spending money they had put aside for their vacation.
By the end of the first day of moving, the lorry had been unloaded and sent on its way -after knocking down the price of what was owed due to damage caused to some of their furniture and personal possessions. The furniture had been placed in the rooms in which they now belonged, and the boxes had been littered throughout whatever spare space they stumbled across first.
“I think that will do for today,” said Jason as he closed the front door.
“Really?” Emily placed a final box on top of another of the boxes in the hallway. She wiped her brow.
“I’m beat,” he continued, “and besides...I thought...This last bit of strength I’ve set aside...We could...You know...” he walked over to her and put his arms around her.
She smiled coyly, “No...I don’t think I do know...What could we do?”
He leant down to her ear and whispered.
“Oh really?” she laughed. “Should I at least find the bags with all the bedding?”
He shook his head, “Not necessary!” he laughed. “I’m happy to do it on top of the mattress as it is.”
“Mr Romantic!” she laughed. “Go and have a wash, you’re all sweaty...I’ll find the bedding. We’re going to need it later anyway.” Still smiling, she pushed Jason away.
“Well, okay, but just so you know...I can strip off and wash in approximately four minutes so you’d better be quick!” he laughed. He leant forward and gave her a kiss on the cheek before he about turned and ran up the stairs. He called back down as he disappeared around the corner, towards the bathroom, “Just so you know...Once we’ve christened the bedroom - we’re moving to the rest of the house too!”
“You mean you’re not going to just pass out this time, like you usually do?” she called up to him.
Mere seconds passed before Jason appeared at the top of the stairs again with a ‘matter of fact’ expression on his face, “Well, you know, you will leave me to do all the work, won’t you? I mean, if you moved from time to time...Perhaps I’d have more energy afterwards...”
“Get out of it, you cheeky sod!” she laughed.
Jason pulled a face and disappeared back towards the bathroom - cheering like an excited schoolboy the whole way. Emily simply shook her head, mildly amused by her husband’s antics, and started to look for the bedding.
Some people, mutual friends in particular, found Jason’s childish antics, such as his face pulling, to be a little over the top from time to time. Thankfully he only really played up like that when he was over-excited about something - like a big kid. Emily liked it, though. It was one of the many characteristics of his that had attracted her to him in the first place. She loved how he could be deadly serious when the time came but also, when relaxed, how he could poke fun at himself and act the fool to try and amuse others around him. Two different sides to him which were dependent on the given situation. She loved both sides.
Jason knew he could be a little over the top from time to time and that’s one of the many reasons why he loved Emily; she kept him grounded without feeling the need to moan, or nag. During soft, soppy moments - usually spurred on by the alcohol which he’d only really drink after completing a new book - he often referred to her as his perfect woman. When sober, he’d jokingly deny all knowledge and remind her that there were many areas in which she could improve herself; suggestions which were usually met with a playful slap or some harsh words depending on the mood with which they were received.
A dark shadow running back across the landing caught Emily’s attention from the corner of her eye. She couldn’t help but grin as she realised what it was - Jason getting ready to pounce out on her as soon as she went up the stairs to join him in the bedroom. She was used to his tricks now. After all, she had lived with him for a few years now. Long enough to learn his wa
ys. It was as though he needed to do such pranks, from time to time, as a way of relieving his boredom - no doubt brought about by spending vast amounts of time home alone, locked in his office working on novels. Sometimes he managed to catch her unaware and sometimes his efforts fell flat - having made too much noise getting into whatever nook or cranny that he wanted to leap out from. This was one of the latter occasions.
Emily silently crept up the stairs, her heart in the back of her throat as the adrenaline surged through her body whilst she mentally prepared herself to try and scare him - all the time aware Jason could leap out first. A couple of the stairs creaked as she made her way up them but not enough, she hoped at least, to raise any alarm or suspicion on Jason’s part.
