She curled into a ball as the tears streamed down her face. She couldn’t think of that last sight of Adam so still and pale, lying silently in a lacquered box. That wasn’t the Adam she’d known. He’d been so strong and full of life. But anytime she thought of him, that was the first image that came to mind. Still and unsmiling, the shade of bruises almost visible on his cheekbones.
“And after?”
She startled at Sawyer’s question. She had been so locked into her memories, she’d forgotten where she was. And who she was with. Tonight so hadn’t turned out the way she’d hoped. Tonight was supposed to be about her. About finally coming out of her shell and back into the kink world. She was tired of denying that part of herself. But maybe it was still too soon. Maybe she should’ve tried a public scene first. Or someone who didn’t have the same toys as Adam.
“After, I tried to pick up the pieces. But I couldn’t stand the thought of submitting to another dom. Of building that whole relationship again. Eventually I started dating again—”
“But that didn’t work either.”
“No.” She looked at him in surprise. “You sound like someone who’s been there.”
Sawyer rubbed a hand down her arm in a comforting gesture. “Honey, I doubt very many people have been in your shoes. But I know about denying yourself. Trying to change yourself to fit what’s normal.” He bit out the last word like a curse.
Normal. She gave a husky laugh. She definitely wasn’t that.
“But pleasing them never works. Eventually you break. Eventually you disappoint them.” Sawyer stared off into the corner of the room, lost in contemplation of his own twisted path. He seemed so sad. Her heart ached for him, for whatever he’d gone through that put that look on his face. The room practically vibrated with the strength of their ghosts and tortured paths.
It was official—she was the ultimate Debbie Downer. In less than an hour she had morphed the wild and crazy Sawyer into a sad and depressed man. Crap, she was contagious.
She had to get out of here.
“Thanks, Sawyer.” She caressed the side of his face before giving him a peck. “Talking about it helped.”
And totally killed the mood. Oh wait, her panic attack did that first. Before she could depress Sawyer anymore, she jumped up and walked over to where she’d left her clothes. Calling herself every cuss word she could think of, she stepped into her panties and drew them up her thighs. At least she’d be able to leave with a little bit of her self-respect. As crying jags went, it could’ve been worse. Now she just had to figure out how she was going to get home. A cab, maybe? She definitely didn’t want to ask for a ride back.
“Kyla, wait.”
She wiped at her face, then turned toward Sawyer. “This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have—whatever. I should go.”
“No, don’t go. I think I can help you.”
Chapter Six
“Help me?” She gave a watery chuckle. “That’s why I came here, to you. I thought the rope would help me. I’d heard Shibari has a healing power.”
Sometimes the misconceptions that came with his BDSM persona were annoying. Sure, it helped him get laid, but he wasn’t a guru. “Let me stop you right there. I’m not a therapist. I don’t heal people with my rope. It doesn’t have any special powers. I’m just a man.”
Kyla hunched her shoulders and looked away.
“Shit, I’m not saying this right. I’m not some special Hindu guru with magic healing hands.” He gave her his crooked slight grin. “I’m just a man. A kinky guy with some interesting toys, but still just a guy. But I can help you, Kyla. I can help you get past playing with a new dom. And when you’re ready, I can introduce you to some reputable tops. Guys I trust. Guys you can trust.”
He couldn’t take her defeated posture one more minute. Crossing the room, he stopped in front of her and held her by her shoulders. “I can help. Only maybe not the way you hoped. Let me help you, Kyla.”
“But I thought you didn’t do long-term. One night, no promises, remember?”
This was one time he couldn’t blame gossip for the misconception as she threw his own words back at him. Now it was his turn to be embarrassed. “I remember. I, uh, shit. There’s no way to say this without sounding like a jackass. But sometimes women get clingy. Stalkerish. I’ve had a few incidents that didn’t end well. I can do more than one night. I just don’t make promises I don’t intend to keep. One night is all I promise, but it can lead to more. I’m not a total dog.”
Kyla nodded.
“But it’s not a perception I discourage. Helps with the crazies sometimes.”
“Then I passed the crazy test?” She peeked up at him out of the corners of her eyes.
“You never even registered on my crazy meter.”
“Good.” An enchanting smile swept across her face. And he found himself getting hard. Did it make him a twisted fuck that the sight of her tear-stained but smiling face made him hard? Who was he kidding? He already knew the answer to that.
“What do you say? You willing to let this kinky perv do unspeakable things to your gorgeous body?” He put his hand over his heart and tilted his head. “It’s such a sacrifice for me but if you’re willing, I’m willing.”
“I, uh, well...” She took a deep breath. “Yes.”
“Great. Strip.”
She blinked at him.
He couldn’t help but laugh. Did she somehow think he had transformed into that guru she mistakenly thought he was? Sure, he’d go easy on her, but it didn’t mean he’d changed. He still wanted to see her exquisite naked body again. Always. “Did I stutter? Strip. Now.”
Her hands fluttered at her side before she quickly pushed her panties down her thighs and stepped out of them. She stood in front of him in all her nude glory. God, she was gorgeous. The tentative body language and tear-stained face called out to the primitive knuckle-dragger inside him. He wanted to hold her close and tell her everything would be fine and then tease her into an earth-shattering orgasm. There just weren’t enough hours in the night.
“Go over to the wall and pick out some rope for me to use on you.”
A wrinkle appeared on her forehead as she looked between him and the tall dresser.
“Is there a problem?” If they were to go forward, he wanted to make it crystal clear it was her decision. She would pick out the rope he’d use to bind her. She would place it in his hands, knowing he’d use it on her.
Finally she shook her head and slowly made her way across the room to his rope wall.
And he enjoyed the view the entire way. She truly had a body to die for. Muscles in her ass rippled and flexed as she walked the short distance. She might be a small package but she came with a powerful punch. He couldn’t wait to feel the impact later. Too damn bad it would be days later. With her mindset, there was no way in hell he’d be able to do too much with her tonight. First he had to help her get past the block of playing with a new dom.
But later... Later, they would have a lot of fun together.
He watched as she contemplated the array of rope on display. Every fathomable color hung from pegs, the same kind of pegs he used in his garage to display his tools. He did like his toys.
He wondered what color she’d choose. Would she go for the virginal white? The hot siren red? The natural hemp whose color nearly matched that soft blond hair? Or maybe one of the tie-dyed bursts of color? She reached up and pulled down a length of the black. That was fine by him. Black was his favorite color.
He watched in obvious appreciation as she walked back to him. Her breasts were so slight, they hardly jostled with her movement. He let his gaze rove her tight body.
When she stopped in front of him, she started to bend down to kneel at his feet but then caught herself and stood quickly. A grimace swept across her face. She shifted restl
essly in front of him, unsure of what she should do. The protocol from her last dom was indelibly marked on all her actions. One more thing he’d have to help her get past.
Without speaking, he held out his hand for the rope. She gave it to him, then stepped back and clasped her hands behind her back. Shaking his head, he dropped the rope into the bag at his feet, then dug through it, looking for a specific length of rope he kept on hand. Once he found it, he stood up and motioned her over to his side. “I think a collar might help put you in the right mindset.”
Her eyes flicked between him and the cabinet in confusion.
“Ah, poppet, you forget who you’re dealing with. I don’t much care for leather. Well, aside from the obvious.” He motioned to his pants.
Her lips curled at his teasing.
“Nah, I like my collars to be a bit more creative and more reflective of me.” He brandished the red length of hemp rope he’d found in his bag. “And there’s something about a blonde in red that makes my blood sizzle. Come here, honey.”
Once he had positioned her in front of him, he quickly wound the rope around her neck, careful to keep it loose enough that he could fit his hand between her neck and the rope. Satisfied with the look of his collar, he finished the tie so that the ends would hang down and lie against her chest. She gasped when the slightest movement made the frayed ends rasp against her already hardened nipples.
He chuckled wickedly. “A little added bonus.”
She blinked at him, and he had no doubt she was in the here and now with him. Hopefully the collar would be a constant reminder of who she was playing with. He didn’t want her sliding back into nostalgia land again.
“Now, darling, are you still happy with your color selection?”
She groaned as the ropes rubbed against her breasts when she turned to the rope wall display. “Yes, Sawyer.”
He wondered if she didn’t want to chance walking over to the wall again with the added distraction of her collar. Grabbing the bundle of black rope, he quickly unraveled it, then looped it into easy to handle rolls. He stepped in front of her and studied her eyes. “We still okay? What color are you?”
She took a deep breath. “Green.”
Her lips might have said green but her eyes were still dark and tormented. He took a deep breath of his own, then got to work. As his hands passed over her body, he took note of every little sound she made. When the back of his hand brushed her nipple, she let out a gasping groan that made his cock harden even more. Christ, this girl got to him. At first it was supposed to be a one-night stand. Someone to help pass the time with.
But now...now he couldn’t walk away. She’d gone from a hot playmate for a night to someone he wanted to help. Whether it was a holdover from his Boy Scout days or the mantra his rope mentor had drummed into him, he’d never been able to resist a damsel in distress. And Kyla’s story pulled at him more than any other he’d heard in a long time. He wanted to help her find her own happily ever after again. Lord knew he wouldn’t have one of his own. Plus he could really use the karmic points.
“You still doing all right? Still with me?”
“Mmmmm.” She nodded drunkenly.
He looked down into her dreamy eyes and realized while he’d been wondering how they’d gotten here, she was on the edge of subspace. No way in hell would he let her get away with that. “Kyla. Kyla! Look at me.” He swore under his breath, then roughly kicked her legs farther apart. “Eyes on me. I want you to watch me and know whose hands are on your body. No drifting away. It’s way too early for that with us.”
As long as she stayed in the here and now with him, she wouldn’t fall into the trap of letting her mind wander. And hopefully wouldn’t forget just whose hands were on her body.
He waited for her eyes to clear before continuing. As he prepared to run the rope between her legs, he inspected her body again. “We still okay? Is the rope too tight?”
“Yes. No.” She shook her head. “Green, we’re still green.”
He ran his hands over her arms to make sure his rope wasn’t compromising her circulation. Satisfied with the results, he bent to work once more. “Now, honey, this next part might be a bit uncomfortable for a minute.” He kneeled between her splayed legs and looked up at her.
Kyla’s brow wrinkled. “Uh, more uncomfortable than this?”
“Ah, hon, I’m not doing my job right if you’re not even a little uncomfortable. I like to keep my partners unbalanced. It’s not fun if you know what’s coming.”
She bit her lip and smiled tremulously at him.
Damn, there wasn’t anything hotter on this earth than the trusting smile of a beautiful, naked woman. He must’ve done something right in a previous life. Thanking whatever god plopped her into his lap, he ran the rope between her legs, taking note of the heavenly aroma wafting toward his nose. His dick flexed as though it had a mind of its own, reaching for the wetness he’d no doubt find between her thighs. He took care not to even brush against her pussy and used economical movements to finish the tie.
Finally he stood back and surveyed his work. Her body was framed in an intricate body harness. His black rope cupped and outlined her slight breasts, then dove between her legs, framing the area he’d love to spend some more time with. His dick throbbed at the sight. Unfortunately that wasn’t meant to be tonight. But at least he had a goal to work toward.
“How’s that, Kyla? Still feel good?”
She nodded.
“Great, let’s take it for a test run.”
“Test run? But...”
“But what?” He smiled mockingly. “Don’t you wanna show off your lovely ropes?”
Her eyes widened.
“You’re such an easy mark. Go over to the cabinet and pick out a nice, vibrating toy for me—and you.”
She shook her head slightly and took a step, then stopped. Her entire body trembled with a shudder. He watched, concerned, but after another moment she straightened her shoulders and moved forward. Damn, that woman had backbone.
“Third drawer down.”
Nothing was better than the view from behind as she bent over to find a suitable vibrator. His ropes outlined her ass like a dream. Most tops didn’t take care with the backside of a tie, but he was a perfectionist. He loved the art of an intricate tie. And seeing his rope perfectly twined around a hot woman just made it all the better.
As she brought back her chosen sex toy, he watched the array of expressions pass across her face. Lust, slight discomfort and maybe a tinge of anger. Great, she was right where he wanted her to be. Kinda turned on and totally present in the room with him.
He turned his back on her and walked over to the side of the bed. “Here.”
She hesitated, her eyes darting between him and the huge bed.
“Now.”
Like a startled deer, she darted across the space to stop at his side.
“Perfect. Now lay on down and try to relax. Well, as much as you can, wearing my ropes.”
She gave him a worried frown but slowly obeyed. When she lay in the center, looking for all the world like a lost and vulnerable woman, he finally moved. He crawled across the bed and stopped at her side next to her legs. He flicked open his knife with a wicked snick.
Her eyes grew wide and dominated her face. She looked at him with an expression that broke his heart. He knew an on-the-edge woman when he saw one, and Kyla was definitely there.
With a sigh, he gave Kyla the most gentle, understanding look he was capable of and held out a hand. After a beat, she shakily dropped her own on top of his.
“Ah, poppet. I mean for you to give me your package there. Unless you wanna wrestle with the plastic?”
A red flush stole over her body and she let out a watery laugh.
He smiled. “I’m not real big on knife play myself. Bu
t if you want—”
She took her hand back quick as lightning.
He had to laugh. “The package?”
She practically threw it at him while she hid behind her other hand. He gave her the moment to herself while he battled with the stubborn plastic. Once he rescued the toy, he threw the packaging over his shoulder, popped the batteries in, then sprawled out beside her on the bed.
“Poppet?”
She peeked at him through her fingers.
The sight melted his heart. Christ, he was in trouble.
Chapter Seven
Kyla peeked at Sawyer as a tumultuous mixture of emotions rocked through her. But the strongest was a desire to do this. Whatever this was. She wanted to please him and finally get past this mental block. It was way past time for her to move on.
She dropped her arms and looked at Sawyer. The approval she saw in his gaze strengthened her resolve. She was strong. She could do this.
He bent to her and took her lips in a soft kiss. He started out slow, and she lay back and let him lead. His tongue darted out and did a flickering thing that had her toes curling.
His lips slowly started a nuzzling path down her neck toward her woefully small chest. She knew she was small, but lying on her back meant any bit of oomph her boobs had disappeared. Even the rope that had been tightly outlining her breasts felt slack.
She sucked in a breath as his teeth rasped against her nipple before his tongue soothed the hurt away. He continued teasing her, plucking at one nipple and nuzzling the other. After a few second of his exquisite torture, her breasts swelled and felt larger and more sensitive than ever before. She arched into his mouth and moaned at the corresponding tug of the ropes framing her body. The ropes Sawyer had wound around her. She brought up a hand and threaded it through his hair. She held his head against her breast and enjoyed the moment.
After a few minutes of his exquisite torture, Sawyer raised his head. “You doing okay, Kyla?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Good. Great.” Sawyer picked up her right hand and kissed each finger, then gently pulled it down and rested it on her pussy.
Up In Knots Page 6
