“Sounds like someone likes to play the role of a dirty girl. I think I can work with that. Definitely in my wheelhouse. What about language? Is there anything Adam called you that really got you excited?”
Again with the Adam reference. She’d never been around a guy who’d wanted all the details of her last relationship. Made her feel awkward. Kinda like she was betraying his memory or something. “I guess. He used to call me his slut. I don’t know. This feels so weird to talk about. Especially with you.”
“I think if we learned anything from last weekend it’s that you need to talk about it. Hell, bottling it all up made you freak out. I need to know if there are any landmines in my future.”
She closed her eyes and tried not to think about how that night almost ended. “Okay, I see your point. It still feels weird though.”
“Believe me, it’d be worse in person.”
She had no problem believing that.
“So, language. Did he have a pet name for you? Or did you guys have a trigger word? Something he’d say where you knew he wanted to play?”
“He would...it was... Crap, this is so weird. Slut. He’d call me slut and I’d melt inside. Especially when he called me his little slut in this guttural whisper.” She sighed. “It would get me every time.”
Sawyer groaned. “Christ, that sounds hot. What about safe words? What was yours with him? Did you ever safe word out?”
“I’ve always had the same one. Fire. It works for me. I think I got it from one of those self-defense courses and it kind of stuck. You know, where you’re supposed to say fire instead of rape to get people’s attention? It was the first thing that came to mind when I picked mine. I’ve had to use it a few times, especially when I first started out in the scene. I had a tendency to panic and freeze. But I’m better now. Mostly. I can’t even remember if I had to use it with Adam. We clicked. He always knew just how to push me. When I got to the edge and I’d think I would say it, he’d back off a bit without me even needing to say anything.”
Sawyer mumbled something she couldn’t quite hear. She could’ve sworn she’d heard him say f’ing perfect top.
Was he jealous? Her heart melted a little even as she called herself twelve kinds of silly. She must’ve misheard him. This was Sawyer—the man practically wrote the book on kinky short-term hookups. He couldn’t be jealous. “Uh, I can’t hear you. What was that?”
“Nothing.” He cleared his throat. “Those kinds of relationships are rare. Especially in the beginning. I expect you to use yours if you need to. I like to push and find out where your limits really are. Playing on the edge is one of the headiest experiences out there. But it sucks majorly if you go over. I’d rather make you cry from an orgasm than from a traumatic experience. Don’t get me wrong, tears can be fun but they gotta be the right kind.”
She recalled a few times Adam had spanked her hard enough to make her cry and she smiled. Yeah, there was definitely a difference between good tears and traumatic ones. She couldn’t wait to have that same shivery feeling with Sawyer. Her heart clenched at the thought. Even though it had been two years, it felt disloyal to play with another, let alone sleep with one. Dang it. Was she really ready for this?
“Kyla? You there?”
She gave a watery chuckle. “Yeah. I don’t know why, though.”
“Because you’re still alive. No matter how much you loved the guy, you deserve to enjoy life. And apparently for you that’s in the kink world. You’ve done nothing to be ashamed of.”
“I know.” Still didn’t make the feelings of disloyalty go away.
“Is there anything you want to ask me?”
“I, uh, what?” She shifted uncomfortably on her chair. “I don’t know.”
“Well, we’re going to get pretty intimate in the next couple of weeks. Whatever you want to know about me, go ahead and ask. It’s only fair I get all honest and soul-bearing too.”
Her mind raced. So many questions flashed through her head. She couldn’t imagine asking half of them. Plus she didn’t want him to know how much about him that she knew. Crazy Stalkers for one hundred, Alex. “Why haven’t you seen your family in ten years?” She closed her eyes in mortification. Cripes, she did not just out her eavesdropping ways.
The dead silence on the other end of the line answered for her.
“You don’t have to answer. I’m sorry. I don’t where that came fr—”
“No. That’s okay. I said anything. I kind of expected something a bit more kinky. Personally I think you’re missing a rare opportunity to grill me, but if you want to talk about my screwed-up family, we can.
“The short answer is ’cause I don’t get along with them. I hated every minute I lived in that house. My dad’s a miserable drunk and my mom’s an enabler. I left when I turned eighteen and I’ve never looked back.”
“Wow. I’m sorry.” She couldn’t think of anything to say. Somehow she’d opened an ugly can of worms.
“No need. They’re not part of my life. No matter how much my sister wants to drag me back there.”
“Are you close to your sister?” She didn’t know why she couldn’t stop poking at his obvious sore spot. But she wanted to know more about him. He’d basically ripped into her deepest feelings. It was only fair to get some reciprocal vulnerability.
“Honestly, I have nothing in common with them anymore. If I ever did. Their life is all about the church. And the only thing I got out of the Mormon experience was an affinity for rope during Eagle Scouts. I decided to leave the rest.”
She snorted. “You are not an Eagle Scout.”
“Ha. I’ve got the merit badges to prove it.”
She bit her lip as she thought about little Sawyer doing the scout salute and vowing to always be prepared. Nope, it really wasn’t all that hard to picture, actually. “Now you mention it, it makes sense. Legacy of honor, be prepared—yeah, I can see it. Do you still have the uniform?”
Sawyer burst out laughing. “Ah, you never mentioned an interest in role playing before. I think I can work with that. Maybe help you across a street...and into my evil clutches.”
She could hear the smile in his voice and smiled in return.
“Hey, Ky?”
Kyla jerked back to the present as her sister, Whitney, stuck her head in the office.
“Are you ever gonna come out here? I need some help with the tumbling class.”
Kyla nodded to her sister before swiveling in her chair and murmuring into the phone, “I’ve got to go.”
“So I gathered. Don’t forget, Friday. Eight o’clock.”
“Friday? But I thought we had already covered the whole—” she tossed a look over her shoulder at her sister still standing in the doorway and lowered her voice, “—negotiation.”
“I’m not done by a long shot, sweetheart. We’ve still loads to discuss. Besides, I can’t wait to see you in your little black dress. I have a thing about black.”
Kyla’s lips tugged into a grin. “I kinda noticed.”
“Brat.”
The smile in his voice took the sting out of his taunt. Almost made it sound like a term of endearment.
“Eight o’clock. Don’t make me wait.”
As she put her phone on top of her desk, Kyla gave it a small caress, wishing she could touch Sawyer through the inanimate object. She’d have to be careful over the next few weeks. That man oozed charm. She could be in serious danger of losing her heart.
With a sigh she turned and startled at the sight of Whitney still standing in the doorway.
“Who’s the guy?”
Kyla had to roll her eyes at her sister. There was no hiding with her family. Somehow they knew all. She wouldn’t be surprised if Whitney knew about her secret kinks too. Good God, she hoped not. A girl had to have some secrets, and she never was one to gossip about se
x. Especially with family. Squick. “Guy?”
“Don’t give me that. I heard you on the phone.”
Kyla’s blood ran cold. “How much did you hear?”
Her sister lifted a shoulder and stared back at her. Although technically Kyla was older, Whitney had her on height and tried to use those extra three inches to her advantage. Luckily for Kyla, Whitney’s bright blue leotard and scraped-back blond bun was the opposite of intimidating. Just when Kyla would have cheerfully throttled her, she finally answered. “Not much. Enough to tell you’ve got a new guy in your life and apparently a date on Friday. Who is he?”
“No one. I mean it’s not like that.” Kyla closed her eyes as she tried to come up with an explanation for her complicated relationship with Sawyer. “He’s a friend of a friend.”
“Great. It’s about time, sis.” Whitney blew her bangs out of her eyes before smiling.
“I, uh, yeah. I think so too.” With a deep breath, Kyla stood up and walked over to her sister. “What’s going on with the class? What do you need backup for?”
Whitney didn’t answer or move aside to let Kyla by. She stood silently and surveyed her with a slight frown.
Kyla felt like her every secret was on display. Her sister was a master manipulator when it came to prying her secrets from her. She fervently hoped her every thought wasn’t televised across her face like usual. She should really have picked up some bluffing tips from their poker-obsessed father.
Whitney tilted her head. “You know we all want you to be happy, right?”
Kyla had heard that mantra from her family for the past two years. Although kind of annoying by now, she was still touched her family cared about her so much. “I know, Whit. And I’m working on it.”
“Good. I expect to meet your Mr. Fabulous. Soon.”
Kyla made a face. Yeah, nothing said awkward more than introducing the fuck buddy and temporary dom to the family. But she really didn’t want to have this conversation right now. Or ever, really. “Maybe later on. We’ve just started...dating.”
“I’ll hold you to it.”
That was what she was afraid of.
Chapter Nine
He arrived at her house at exactly eight o’clock Friday night. Kyla almost melted at the sight of him clad in a very smart suit. Her knees might’ve held firm but her panties certainly did not.
“Wow, you look amazing,” she whispered before she could stop herself.
His trademark grin slanted across his face. “That’s my line.”
She flushed a bit and ducked her head at her faux pas. “Sorry.”
“No need to apologize. I love hearing how handsome I am. But I seriously doubt I look half as good you.” He took hold of her hand and lifted it high, making her perform a full pirouette. Her A-line black dress fanned out around her as she twirled. “Damn, girl. I have half a mind to stay inside, but I do love going outside to play.”
Her heart stuttered in her chest. A little bit of Sawyer’s charm was a dangerous thing.
“If you’re ready, madam?” Sawyer’s arm swept out in a courtly gesture, but the dare in his voice was undeniable.
Never one to back away from a challenge—she hadn’t been a gold-medal hopeful due to her lack of spirit—Kyla cocked her chin. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
She followed him to his car and sat silently beside him the entire way to the restaurant. If she hadn’t seen the proof herself, she would’ve thought the man was half cyborg. What was with the silence? It was unnerving. If he meant to use the car ride as a mind fuck, it was a brilliant plan. She bit her lip to keep the nervous chatter inside. None of her previous tops had ever been as in control of everything in their domain as Sawyer. Adam had only been interested in playing when it came to sex and her other tops had been pretty much in the same boat—kinky sex, but it never really went any further than that. Somehow she got the feeling Sawyer was a different top altogether.
Well, she had wanted to play in the big leagues. She looked at him from beneath her lashes. His work-roughened hands gripped the wheel while his right thumb slowly caressed the leather. She could easily imagine him doing the same to her, or better yet the rope twining around her naked body. Him standing over her with that wicked look in his eyes while she lay helpless beneath him covered in his rope. She closed her eyes and fought to keep the moan inside. The man was a walking billboard for kinky, naughty sex. Five minutes in his presence and she wanted to beg him to take her already. How the heck was she going to last through an entire dinner, let alone whatever deliciously kinky activity he had planned later tonight?
“Kyla?”
She blinked her eyes open and realized the car had stopped and Sawyer was watching her with a curious expression. How long had they been sitting in the parking lot?
He laughed softly. “You ready to get something to eat?”
Suddenly she was famished. She just hoped at least one raging orgasm was on the menu.
* * *
Sawyer surveyed his date from behind hooded lids. Christ, she looked hot tonight. Somehow he’d have to keep the monster at bay and get through dinner. They still had so much to negotiate. Plus some get-to-know-each-other time wouldn’t be a bad idea.
Or would it?
Kyla had commitment written all over her. Hell, the girl had been practically married two years ago. What the hell was he doing playing with her? If he wasn’t careful, she’d get too attached. But he’d always been a sucker for an expressive submissive. It didn’t hurt that he got hard as a rock the second he saw her.
Where the hell was that maître d’? He let out a huff of indignation and took a step to the side to stand behind Kyla. Some displays were beneath even him. It wouldn’t be a good idea to get caught sporting a woody by the uptight maître d’. He wanted to be seated at a table before the naughty games began.
Taking a deep breath, he inhaled the intoxicating scent of Kyla. Vanilla and something that was purely Kyla. He knew because his pillow still bore the scent. Shit, he needed to get this under control. It was one thing to get caught sporting wood and another to walk around with an obvious wet spot.
Kyla shivered, her breath coming in short, agonizing pants. Hmmm, maybe he wasn’t the only one affected by their proximity. He took another step closer that brought him practically right on top of her. The taut globes of her ass brushed teasingly against his aching cock. He’d love nothing more than to rip away the barely there panties she no doubt wore and bend her over the maître d’s desk. But the lobby of his buddy’s restaurant was no place to play. Even for him.
“Mr. Sawyer, I apologize for the delay. If you would follow me?”
His poker face firmly in place, Sawyer inclined his head and followed the tuxedo-clad man to the back of the restaurant, where he had specifically booked a booth. In the dark, deserted corner. His friend, Grayden, had certainly hooked him up. Not another soul in sight.
They went through the song and dance of being seated and handed their menus. Kyla, of course, took the opportunity to hide behind hers. He couldn’t resist. “What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done?”
Kyla’s head jerked up before she furtively looked around to see if anyone overhead his question. “What?”
“I said, what looks good?”
The suspicious glint in her eyes told him she wasn’t buying his shtick for a minute.
He smiled innocently in reply.
After what he swore was an eye roll, she went back to her menu but held it at a conversational level this time. He decided to let her little eye roll infraction pass this time. His narrowed eyes should’ve warned her he wouldn’t be so lenient in the future.
“Uh, I was thinking of ordering the scallops.” Her breathy response caused a throbbing of his own below the tablecloth.
“No appetizer?”
; She shook her head.
“Good idea. We don’t want to fill up too much before dessert.” As the waiter arrived at their table, he turned in his seat to address him and gave their order. Once he’d left, Sawyer turned back to Kyla. “Has anything on your hard-limit list changed?”
She blinked at his non sequitur.
“I believe you said no permanent marks, no canes, no breath play and no bodily fluids. Is there anything you want to change? Add?”
She straightened her shoulders. “I believe I said except oral if you’re clean.”
“Ah, yes, an important distinction.”
She raised her eyebrows in challenge.
He raised his own in reply. “And nothing you want to add?”
“No.”
He surveyed her body language. She was trying like hell to act comfortable with their public conversation about so-very-private activities. Or private in her world. If he wasn’t such a fucking degenerate he would have found it sweet as hell.
Too bad he was a card-carrying perv.
“Great. Take off your panties and give them to me.”
* * *
Kyla blinked. She could not have heard him right. “Uh, sorry?”
“I said, take off your panties and give them to me. I do not like to repeat myself.” His stern expression bought a full force of butterflies squirreling around in her stomach.
She made to slide to the end of the booth but his next command stopped her in her tracks.
“Here. Take them off here.”
She flinched at the bite in his voice. Peering around the booths near them, she couldn’t really see much. The pendant over their table gave off a dim circle of light. She had been in such a haze when they’d sat down, she couldn’t remember the layout of the restaurant. For all she knew there were twenty people hiding in the shadows, listening to their conversation and eager for a show. Heaven help her, the thought made her hot. And a bit interested in providing a show.
“Now.”
The command in his voice had her obeying before she even realized she’d moved. Half standing at the table, she reached beneath her dress and hooked her thumbs under the elastic at her hips. Wincing when her g-string stuck to her, she carefully pulled her panties down to her thighs. She quickly sat down and closed her eyes in embarrassment. The minute she handed them over to Sawyer, he’d know how aroused she was. In for a penny... She took a deep breath and pulled them the rest of the way down her legs, untangling her g-string from her heels before she furtively passed her panties around the side of the booth to Sawyer.
Up In Knots Page 8
