“Hey man, you okay?”
“Not really. I just found out my oldest friend passed away.”
“Oh shit. I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do?”
“Go check on Addy. She’ll need someone with her, and I can’t do it. I can’t deal with that right now.”
“Uh, that’s sort of why I came in here. Ya know what? It can wait.”
“Landon, I know you’re dating my sister. We talk every day. I’m glad she has you. If she’d get her head out of her ass about your age, I think you guys may be the real deal. At least that’s how it sounds when she goes on and on about you.”
“Thanks, man. I didn’t want it to be awkward or anything. I really care about her. And Mason. He’s a good kid.”
“He is. If you don’t mind going to be there for Addy? She and Wolf, I mean Henry. Sorry bad habit. Henry and Addy were just as close growing up. His death is going to hit her hard.”
“Wolf?” I ask.
“Yeah, Army nickname. His eyes are, were. Shit. Were this weird gold color. Like a wolf. Kind of stuck.”
“Got it. Don’t worry about Addy, I’m actually heading to her house now. Mason texted me that she’s upset. What about you? Are you going to be okay?”
“Not really. I called Ash and asked her to help me out. I need to leave town for a while. Go help out Henry’s wife. She’s pregnant, man. God this fucking sucks. He survived three deployments only to get hit by a drunk driver on the way to get his wife ice cream. I’ll never understand this.”
“Life sucks sometimes. I’m sorry for your loss. Go handle your business. I’ll take care of Addy.”
I turn to open the door as Taylor says my name. I pivot to face him and he’s standing with his hand extended. I step forward and take the offered hand and shake.
“Thank you for taking care of them. I feel better leaving town. But,” he begins but never releases my hand, instead he squeezes it. Hard. “Rest assured, I will fuck you up if you screw my sister over.”
“Noted. But you have nothing to worry about. If anything, I’m the one taking the risk here.”
On that note, I open the door and walk into the hallway. Instead of walking toward the bar and through the crowd, I sneak out the back door to my truck. A million thoughts run through my mind as I drive the short distance through town to Addison’s house. I hate that she is suffering such a horrible loss. Death is never easy, but something unexpected and so tragic—a man with a new family. It just seems more upsetting.
I look at the clock and see it’s around the time Addison usually fixes dinner for Mason and her. I pull off into the local burger joint and grab a few burgers, fries, and shakes then continuing on to their house. I’m grateful Mason thought to text me. That makes me think he’s adjusting okay to my seeing his mom. But, it also means he trusts me, and that makes me feel good.
Once I’ve pulled up in front of the house, I grab the bags of food and shakes and walk to the front door. Balancing the food and tray of drinks with one hand, I open the door with the other and let myself in. I spot Mason on the couch watching Sports Center. He must not hear me walk in because he doesn’t move. Another reason I need to talk to them about locking their doors. Anyone could’ve walked in here.
“Hey,” I say in greeting, standing above Mason. He jumps and I laugh at his face.
“Dang, man. You scared me. Whatcha got there?” he asks, sniffing like a dog.
Rolling my eyes, I thrust the bag in his direction. “Dinner. Go put this in the kitchen and make yourself a plate. Did you do your homework?” I ask, and he nods while taking the tray from my hands. “After you finish dinner, get your shower and shit done before bed.”
“Okay. Do you know what’s wrong with my mom? I haven’t seen her cry like this since my dad left. I wasn’t sure if you guys broke up, so I almost didn’t text you. But she’s so sad, Lan. I’m scared.”
“Ah, bud,” I begin before taking the food and tray from his hands and setting them on the table next to the couch. I stand in front of him and place a hand on either shoulder. “Your mom and I are fine. But even if something were to happen, I’m always here for you. Never forget that, okay?”
He simply nods, and I pull him into a quick hug. When the hug begins to linger a little too long and the tension in the room builds, I break the ice the only way I know how. “This is getting awkward, isn’t it?”
Mason and I both laugh before stepping apart. I hand him the tray and bag of food again before heading toward the back patio off the kitchen. As I approach the back door, I hear sniffles. A piece of my heart breaks for what Addison is going through. I hope she’ll let me in, let me care for her and help her. I pause before opening the door, grab a blanket that’s folded on the dryer, and step outside.
When I’m within a few steps of where she lies on the lounger, I take in the bottle of bourbon on the table and the glass in her hand. I remember when she bought that bottle. I’ve been with her anytime she’s had a glass. By the looks of what’s left in the bottle, she’s chosen to drown her sorrows.
“Baby,” I say quietly so as to not startle her. Her reply to me isn’t in words but sobs. She breaks down and I rush to her, kneeling before her. The emptiness in her eyes breaks me into a million pieces. Sadness blankets every inch of her face. I take the tumbler from her hands and set it on the table before scooping her in my arms and assuming the spot she was just in. Settled into my lap, she grips my shirt and cries.
We sit tangled together for what feels like minutes and hours simultaneously. The intensity of Addison’s loss kills me. She stops sobbing, and her cries are more whimpers than anything. I reach above my head where the blanket ended up and pull it over her as her breathing slows. I’m sure she’s exhausted, and I’m content to sit and hold her.
I take in the stars above and think of how when I was little, I asked my mom what the stars were. She told me they were angels and there to remind those of us who have lost someone that our loved ones are never far from us. I remember lying on the grass and talking to the stars when I was little. Asking them who they used to be and if they had family in Lexington. I believed the stars were only ours and each town or city had their own. I was five.
Now as I look at the sky filled with small white dots, I wish that story were true. I wish for Addison and Taylor, and the woman who lost her husband, that somewhere above us was Henry’s star, and he could see how many lives he touched and how many people loved him. I didn’t know Henry, but the woman in my arms, the woman I’m falling in love with, did, and her heart hurts for the loss of the man. By default, mine does the same.
“Landon,” Mason whispers behind me.
“Hey buddy, are you going to bed?”
“Not yet, it’s only nine. Is my mom okay?”
I realize nobody has told Mason what’s happening. The worry on his face tells me I need to be the one to tell him, or his imagination is going to run crazy. I nod for him to go back inside, and he does as I ask. Turning my feet, I slide Addison around to hold her a little closer and stand from the lounger to carry her inside. Mason opens the door for me and I mouth “Thank you” before walking down the hall to Addison’s room. Once I lay her down, she stirs a little. Covering her with the blanket, I lean down and kiss her head.
“Landon?”
“It’s okay, baby. Sleep. I’m not going anywhere.”
She sighs and snuggles into her pillow. Stepping out of the room, I close her door but not all the way in case she starts crying again. Before going to the living room, I stop in the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I see the makeup that rubbed off on my shirt and the tear stains. God, how long was she out there before Mason text me?
When I finish in the bathroom, I walk down the hall to the living room where Mason is once again on the couch. A movie is on, but the volume is low, and he’s tapping away on his phone. He must hear me approach because he sits up quickly and turns to face me.
“Is my mom okay?”
“Yeah, bud. She�
�s sleeping. All that crying exhausted her.”
I sit down on the other end of the couch, my elbows resting on my knees, and my head hanging low. I wasn’t the one outside crying my heart out, but I feel like I was. I’m beat. But Mason needs an explanation, and I’m the only one here to do that.
“Have you talked to your Uncle Taylor?”
“No, I text him, but he didn’t text back. I was talking to my mom’s best friend, Aunt Nela. She said to call her if I need her to fly out. What happened, Landon?”
“I may have you call your aunt Nela in a bit so we can explain everything. No need to have her worrying, okay?” Mason nods. “When you texted me, I was at Country Road. After you told me how upset your mom was, I went to Taylor to let him know and found him in his office, also upset. He told me that a friend of his and your mom, a man named Henry, passed away suddenly.”
“I know Henry. He’s my Uncle Tay’s best friend. They grew up together. Was he deployed again?”
“Nope, it was an accident. I guess he was about to be a dad. Your uncle had to leave town for a bit to go see his wife and family. As soon as I left Country Road, I came here.”
“That sucks,” he says. The sniffle he tries to cover up isn’t lost on me, and I reach out and put an arm around his shoulder.
“Losing a loved one is never easy. Your mom will probably be sad for a while, so we need to be there for her.”
“Okay.”
This probably isn’t the time for the sex ed conversation, but I think Mason needs a bit of a distraction from the heavy adult shit, and I need to get it out of the way. Nothing like a little condom talk to bond a guy and his girlfriend’s son.
“So, uh who was that on your phone?”
“My dad. I was sending him a text. Not like he’ll respond. Well, at least not about what I was talking about.”
“I’m sorry he’s not around. That must suck.” Mason leans back on the couch, his head resting on the back. With a deep sigh—a dramatic teenage sigh—he holds his hand out to me with his phone.
Taking the phone from him, I swipe the screen and see a text thread. Looking at the contact, I note it’s with his dad. There are no responses from his dad, only texts from Mason. I scroll up and there are dozens from Mason with not a single response from his dad. The dates go back weeks. This guy is a piece of work.
“Mason, I’m sure—” I begin before he interrupts me.
“It’s not a big deal. I guess he’s busy.”
“Look, I’m not going to make excuses for this,” I say, holding up his phone before tossing it on the table. “I don’t know your dad, but I know you and your mom. You’re both very important to me. I want you to know you can talk to me about anything. I know I’m not your dad, and I’ll never be that for you, but I am your friend. And I’m not just a pretty face. I know shit.”
Mason laughs. “Okay, tell me something, Yoda.”
“Funny you should say that. Your mom asked me to talk to you about something. It’s about sex.”
Mason groans. I laugh. Then Mason laughs. “She did not. Oh my god. She’s so ridiculous. I don’t need the birds and the bees talk. They teach sex education at school for Pete’s sake.”
“Well, that may be, but we’re doing this. I’m going to give you the talk my dad gave me.”
The reaction I’m getting from him is probably the same one I gave my dad when he started this conversation. He’s a little humiliated, a lot entertained, and probably scared of what I’m about to say. Instead of starting, I walk into the kitchen and dig around in the freezer until I pull out the ice cream. Mason joins me, and I scoop ice cream into bowls. As he sits at the counter, I push a bowl toward him and quickly walk to the deck before returning with Addison’s bottle of bourbon.
“You get booze and I get rocky road?”
“Yep. I’m going to need this more than you.”
“If you say so.”
“I do. Okay, I’m going to get all this out, and then if you want to ask questions, we’ll do that. Sound good? First, I don’t know how your mom drinks this shit.” I visibly shake as the bourbon burns its way down my throat. I’m man enough to say my eyes water and I cough a little. But, liquid courage and all that.
“Anyway. I know you learn the basics of sex in school. The biology part is important. It’s important for you to understand that getting a girl pregnant isn’t the only concern. Diseases are real, and dude, when they get to that part in sex ed or health, you’ll never get the visual out of your mind. Condoms.” I take another drink of the bourbon.
“Did your dad call you dude?”
“What? No. Jesus kid, let me just talk. Okay, condoms are a must. Even if the girl says she’s on the pill, the shot, or whatever. Wrap. It. Up. Now, the part my dad told me. Sex is a part of life. Everyone is having sex. Or so you think. At your age, sex is something enticing and exciting, but it’s more than that. It’s more than just physical. And if it’s not, then you shouldn’t have it. Feelings are important. Respect is vital. But as the man, your responsibility is to your partner. No means no. I’m not sure means no. And if you aren’t sure if she’s into it, that means no. Are you with me so far?” A nod from him and another swig of bourbon for me.
“I know your hormones are out of control, and you’re horny as fuck. That’s me talking, not my dad. Ah hell, forget what my dad said. Look, Mason. You are young and probably want to hump twenty-four hours a day. I get it. But you aren’t ready.” I pause in part for effect, but also to make sure I haven’t lost him. When I’m sure he’s still with me, I continue. “You need to mature, and when it’s right, you’ll know deep down. And if you don’t, come to me. Go to your mom or your uncle. None of us will judge you, and we’ll always listen. And when your mom asks if we talked, tell her yes and let’s never talk of this again.”
“Deal. This is probably my worst nightmare. But, Lan?”
“Yeah, bud?” I watch as Mason walks his bowl to the sink before turning back to me. “Thanks for coming when I asked and for caring about my mom. She smiles more with you here, and I missed that. I haven’t been the best kid lately, and us moving here, well it’s my fault.”
“Kid, you moving here is not a bad thing. I mean, you get to spend all this time with me. How could that be bad?” Mason laughs and mumbles something about being humble before heading to his room. I place my glass in the sink next to his bowl and go about locking up the house. I could drive home, but I can’t leave Addison.
Once the house is locked up tight, I stop by the bathroom and find mouthwash to counteract the awful taste her bourbon left in my mouth. I like a nice shot of whiskey or a Jack and coke, but whatever that cough syrup Addison drinks is, I’ll pass. Slowly opening the door to her room, I find Addison curled into a ball, sound asleep. I contemplate going to the couch, but the adrenaline I’ve had all evening is quickly fading, and I just want to sleep. So instead, I undress, leaving on my jeans, before walking to where my sleeping beauty lies.
Trying not to wake her, I slowly tug the comforter and sheet from under her. Quietly and slowly, I slip her under the covers. Once she’s settled, I walk to the other side of the bed and climb in beside her. She rolls to me and startles awake.
“Landon.”
“Hey, go back to sleep. Everything’s okay. We’ll talk in the morning.”
“Okay,” she mumbles as she turns over, her back to me. Without a second though, I scoot over to spoon her before falling asleep.
I feel like I’ve been run over by a Mack truck. My head is pounding, my eyes feel like sandpaper, and we won’t even discuss the cotton mouth. Did I really drink that much? I no sooner think of how much I had to drink last night than the call from my brother fills my memories. Henry. A wave of sadness washes over me, but I can’t even cry. I don’t think my body has replenished the ocean of salty tears I shed last night.
Last night. Landon was here. He held me. I assume this gigantic arm holding me hostage and putting pressure on my bladder is him. He’s still her
e. Holding me. The realization he’s here, with me, caring for me brings tears to my eyes. I guess the well wasn’t as dry as I thought.
I slowly grab his hand and lift it from my waist to slide out from his hold. As I scoot out from under his arm, okay it’s more like a slither than a scoot, I set his hand on the bed. A mumble and soft snore comes from him, drawing a smile from me. I can barely make out his silhouette in the moonlight, but he’s never looked more handsome. I’ll only allow myself a minute to gawk like a pervert at his perfectly muscled upper body before I look away. Okay, maybe two minutes. Damn.
Stopping myself before I turn into a complete creeper, I look at the clock and realize it’s the middle of the night. I must have crashed pretty hard and fast last night, I’m still in my clothes. Well, they’re closer to pajamas than any pajamas I have. But, I could go for a shower and something to eat.
Quietly, I walk to my dresser and pull out a change of clothes before heading to the bathroom. I don’t bother looking at my reflection in the mirror; I know I’m a mess. My eyes will be swollen, my cheeks streaked with yesterday’s mascara, and my hair a rat’s nest on top of my head. Peeling off my clothes, I wait for the water to heat and fill the room with steam before stepping under the stream of hot water. As I lather shampoo into my hair, I remember the way Taylor’s voice cracked when he called me.
“It’s, Addy, it’s bad. Wol . . . wol . . . wolf is gone.”
The sound in my brother’s voice shattered me. The last time I heard that level of pain was when our parents died six months apart. My baby brother is a strong beast of a man, but when it comes to his family and closest friends, he’s a big softy, and his heart grows by a million for us all. Hearing him sob on the line as he told me of our childhood friend’s passing killed me. The idea of Henry missing out on the birth of his first son hit me like a ton of bricks. Scarlett. My tears are back as I rinse the shampoo from my hair and add conditioner.
Bourbon & Bonfires Page 13
