by Lane, Sydney
"Look, I'm not feeling well. I think I'm just going to call it a night. Maybe tomorrow?" Her face brightens, and I see a way out. Her roommate just walked around the house toward the parking lot.
Wrapping my arm around Whitney’s waist, I steer her off the deck and around the side of the house, hoping to catch her a ride. "Lexi! Wait!" I'm relieved when she turns around. "Hey, do you mind giving Whit a ride home? I'm not feeling well, and she's ready to go." That isn't necessarily true, but it works.
As she nods her head, Whitney latches onto me, pulling me toward her as she backs up against the wall. "You haven't given me a goodbye kiss yet." I lean down to kiss her, as I've done many times before, but I'm just not feeling it tonight.
When I begin to move away, I hear Declan's voice behind me. I tense when I hear Quincy too. She's the whole damn reason I can't think straight and fuck if her quiet giggle doesn't get to me. Leaning back into the kiss, my lips linger a little longer than necessary to make sure they're passed us before I step away. Whitney has her tongue so far down my throat that I almost choke, and I have to pry her off me to keep from suffocating.
I risk a look over my shoulder and see that Declan has his big hand wrapped around Quincy’s. He's so tall that she looks like a kid next to him. They're both laughing, and I shake my head, trying to erase the image from my mind. I have no business looking at her like that, not when he is too.
When I go back to the party, Seth throws an arm around my neck. "Brody, where'd your girl go? You're not losing it, are you?" I laugh along with him, but it hits a nerve.
"Nah, man. I just didn't feel like it tonight. There's always tomorrow.” Except when I go up to my room, I still feel strange. Eric won’t have to worry about me going for Jenna after all. There’s only one girl I’m interested in.
Why can’t I stop thinking about her? She’s just a girl.
Like any other girl at the party tonight.
But I already know she isn’t.
Chapter 3
Loud knocking wakes me up, and I feel like shit on a stick.
"Brody, come on! Get your sorry ass out here so we can leave." Eric should be shot for waking me up at this ungodly hour, but I forgot I promised them a trip to the cabin.
My mom’s family owns a cabin up in the mountains here in East Tennessee. It sits on the most stunning hundred acres known to man. It has a hot spring, pond, and lots of hiking trails, not to mention the mountains themselves. The Smokies are some of the most beautiful mountains in the U.S. My grandparents lived in the cabin before they passed on, and the rest of the family held onto it. No one could see getting rid of it, and I’m glad they didn’t. We use it for family get-togethers around the holidays, but I like going up there alone most of all.
Occasionally, I take some of the brothers up for hiking or fishing. Every year, we have a bonfire party out there at the beginning of fall semester. It’s perfect because a lot of the brothers spend the night, and we go hiking the next day. Sometimes, we camp on the outskirts of the property, but we rarely bring the girls for that. Most of them would never make it.
“Come on, Brody! We’ve got to get up there before it gets hotter than piss.” Aggggh! He’s right. It may be beautiful, but summertime in Tennessee can be downright relentless.
“I’m comin’, dammit!” I roll out of bed and stagger to the closet. I am so not a morning person. If I didn’t live in the house, I’d never get up before noon, but these sorry bastards always have something to do.
Downstairs, Eric and Declan are getting their gear together when I join them. I always keep a backpack ready, so all I have to do is throw in some cold bottled water, and I’m ready to go. Seth comes slumbering down the stairs looking like death warmed over. “Mornin’, Seth!” I yell with enthusiasm and slap him on the back.
He cringes at the sound of my voice. “What the fuck, man? I’m standing right here.” This could be fun. Except he’s probably going to be the one drag assin’ all day. He shakes his head, like he’s clearing the fog. Oh, yeah. Been there.
We all throw our gear in the back of Declan’s 4-Runner and pile in. The sun is just coming up, and the drive is awesome. Windows down, wind in my face, it reminds me why I love this place so much. The way it smells, the way it feels, it’s… home.
The drive is just over an hour, but it feels much more secluded once we’re on the farm. The gravel road that leads to the cabin is hidden among the trees, and that’s the way I like it. When we have parties up here, it keeps the cops away. As long as we don't raise too much hell, they leave us alone. The humidity level is high, and I'm already sweating when we get out of the car.
“We gonna go around the lake or up the mountain?” Declan asks. He’s texting on his phone, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s Quincy. That one thought is all it takes to screw with my head.
I shrug my shoulders; either is OK with me. “E, what are you thinkin’, man?” I glance over my shoulder as I unload our bags from the car. He’s got his phone out, too. What the hell is it with those two?
“Up the mountain is good for me.” Pocketing his cell, Eric throws his pack over his shoulder and starts walking. We all fall in line behind him, Seth bringing up the rear.
When we enter the woods, it’s like going into a different world. These trees are over 100 years old, and they're so tall that they almost completely block out the sun. Lots of history here on this farm. I spent my childhood exploring these woods. I’ve climbed many of the trees, cleared the very paths we are hiking, and built so many forts that I lost count. Some days, I was an Indian, hunting for deer. Other days, I was Indiana Jones, in search of the Holy Grail. There was always an adventure awaiting me. I explored, discovered, and conquered something new every day.
“So, E, who was that girl you were with at the party?” Breaking the silence, Seth has no idea he just opened a shit can of worms. My shoulders tense as I prepare myself for Eric's response.
“Her name is Jenna. She’s in my Lit class, and I invited her to the party. She’s something, isn’t she?” Hot is what she is, sort of exotic looking with legs for days, but I could care less. My attention was on someone else.
“Hell, yeah, she’s something alright. She got any friends?” I almost choke. I’m on edge, and although he has no idea, he's pushing his luck. Why can’t he shut the hell up? I can't stomach talking about those girls all damn day.
“She just moved here. Only friend she has here is her roommate, Quincy. I think they moved here together.” He looks over his shoulder, making eye contact with Declan. When he smirks, I know what’s coming. “Except I think she’s got it bad for Dec here.”
Declan has been quiet, but I catch his smile. He’s happy, really happy, and I love him enough to drop it. She’s nothing to me. Say it. Repeat it. Believe it.
I try to tune them out as they talk about walking the girls to their car and getting their numbers last night. I think of Whitney and her mouth, willing myself to think of anything but the petite brunette I know they’re talking about. For the first time ever, it does nothing for me. My mind is distracted, and I just don’t understand it. I’ve been with several girls since I got here, and they just keep coming. I’ve never, not once, wanted to get to know any of them. It just never crossed my mind that they might have something worthwhile to say. I know that sounds bad, but they know the deal before they get with me.
So why? Why in the hell do I catch myself wanting to know more about Quincy? What does she like? Not like? Where's she from and where's she going? Maybe I just need to get laid tonight. Yeah, that’s all it is.
A little further up the mountain, Eric stops to send a text. In a few more minutes, Dec stops to mess with his phone. Aw, fuck. They’re setting something up, and I hope like I hell it’s not what I think it is.
“Brody, when you want to have the bonfire this year? We need to start planning so we can get up here to clear the field.” Seth asks the question, but I’m pretty sure he won’t be helping. He’s usually too hung-over
to be bothered with it.
“Wanna try next weekend? It'll be right before Rush, and we can get out here before it’s too hot.” When I don’t get a response, I look at Declan and Eric, both busy with their phones. I regret even getting my ass out of bed this morning to come up here with them.
Seth interrupts my internal rant. “Hell, yeah! We’ll be the first big party of the year. Between you and E, we should get some hot chicks in attendance.” That boy has a one track mind, but I can’t say anything. Apparently, I do, too. Quincy. And I'm beginning to hate every minute of it.
“Hey, Declan! I just got a text from Jenna. She wants to know if you guys want to go out together since you’re planning something with Quincy anyway?” What. The. Fuck.
“Really? Sure, man! I was hoping things wouldn’t be awkward with just the two of us. That’s perfect!” Oh, yeah. That's exactly how I'd describe it. Perfect.
“Let’s take ‘em to Naples, then we can go back to the house or something.” Well, that just made up my mind. I’ll be skipping that party.
Seth is lagging behind, and he’s also turning an interesting shade of gray. I should let the bastard suffer, but I can’t stand the idea of him hurling everywhere. “Guys!” It comes out a little more aggressive than I meant for it to, but I got their attention. “What do you say to a break? Seth, you look like shit, man.”
“Fuck you, Brody,” he huffs as he sits down. I’m just glad he doesn’t take his shoes off. His feet are lethal. “So, you two going out with those girls from last night or what?”
Declan has the goofiest grin on his face, and he’s the first to speak. “It looks like it.” Shaking his head, he says, “I don’t know what it is, but I think I could really like this girl.”
I glance over at Eric, and he has the same shit-eating grin on his face. “Oh, I know what it is.” He winks at me as he says it. “Same as I know what I like about Jenna.”
“Damn, I wish they had a friend. Don’t you, Brody?” Seth laughs. I love the guy, but I’m wishing more and more that we’d left him at home.
“Yeah, sure.” The whole conversation is beginning to irritate me, like the sound of nails on a chalkboard.
“Oh, I forgot, Brody doesn’t need any help. He’s got girls lined up waiting for a ride on his dick.” Seth is usually a funny guy, but right now, I just wanna kick his ass.
“We better get moving before it gets even hotter.” Before I hit something. Or somebody. What the hell is wrong with me?
The rest of the hike, we are mostly silent. Once we hit the top of the mountain, we're all so hot and tired that we barely acknowledge one another. Looking out over the meadow, I take a few deep breaths to calm down. I feel like I’m about to explode, and although I don’t understand it, I can’t control it. She’s just a fuckin’ girl. And he’s your brother.
Declan pulls out his phone and check for messages. I love this guy. They don’t come any better than him. I should be slapping him on the back and wishing him luck instead of hoping like hell they can’t stand each other. I’m such a dick.
The hike back down the mountain doesn’t take long, and we are all exhausted. I don’t know why, but I kind of get a kick out of Seth’s huffing and puffing. Serves him right.
As soon as we get back, I head inside for a shower. All I need is a few beers and a good lay, and I’ll be back to normal. Whatever that is.
Chapter 4
I wanted to go to the University of Tennessee my whole life. Like most boys I knew, I grew up living and breathing football. My blood ran orange, and I spent many a Saturday watching UT play. My dad was able to get season tickets, and those trips to Knoxville are some of my best childhood memories. Dad worked hard. He wasn’t home most evenings, but he always made it home in time for football.
I met Eric and Declan during Rush our freshman year. We were all trying to act cool, but we were nervous as hell. Three out of the hundred thirty who showed up. We had been asked to mingle with each other in the main room while the brothers got ready.
There was a tall guy standing next to me, and he looked as nervous as I felt. Offering me his hand, he introduced himself. “Declan.”
“Brody.” I shook his hand, and for whatever reason, the whole awkward introduction struck me as funny. I started laughing, and he did, too. It broke the tension, and I had a new friend.
A blonde who looked like he owned the place sauntered over, “What are you two laughing at? I feel like a pig being lead to slaughter.” At that, we all laughed. “I’m Eric.” We took turns shaking hands, and that’s how the trifecta was born.
Later that night, after talking to several brothers, we left together. Interestingly enough, we all lived in the same dorm, and we even had several classes together. Every night of Rush, we arrived together and left together. Even though Declan’s dad and older brothers had belonged to the same fraternity, he was still nervous. I have never seen a legacy get passed over, though. Eric and I were just along for the ride, but when we all got bids, it sealed the deal. Brothers for life.
People ask me all of the time why I wanted to be in a fraternity, how it feels to pay for my friends. It’s a complicated answer, I think, because people can’t really understand something they’ve never been a part of. I guess the simple answer is that it’s not about buying friends. Hell, I love most of my brothers, but like anybody, there are some I’d like to punch in the face. That’s life. Brotherhood can't change how you feel, and it can only change you if you let it.
Girls always want to know about our rituals and fraternity secrets. I’ve taken a vow to never divulge those secrets, but I’d wager that they aren’t nearly as captivating as people think they are. As a matter of fact, they're pretty boring. What are the secret handshakes and rituals about? They're something that identifies your brothers, something that says we can trust each other.
A few years ago, there was a U.S. soldier who was captured in Iran. They forced him to make a video saying that he was unharmed and being treated well. During that video, he gave a distress signal that only members of his fraternity would know, and they did. Hundreds of brothers from around the country called the FBI to notify them of his hidden message. He was rescued because of that signal. Because he was a member of something much larger than himself. That’s what being a brother is about. It means never being alone.
Once we were offered bids and became pledges, the hell began. Hazing is against the law, but that doesn’t mean it’s all rainbows and flowers. On top of being a freshman and adjusting to college life, a list of responsibilities a mile long is suddenly thrust on you. Social activities, community service, leadership classes, and yes, memorizing certain rituals and bylaws. The requirements can be very overwhelming.
All of the grunt work rested on our shoulders. I don’t know how many times I had to be the human remote control. If the remote was misplaced, it was my job to get up and turn the channel or adjust the volume manually. Declan and I spent many an early morning cleaning up after parties, and Eric was usually responsible for social event planning.
We were also the butt of many jokes and pranks. Some of the jabs got on my nerves, and there were times I considered withdrawing. But we all hung in, and we got through it. Together.
And then there were the fun times. Oh, man, those were some good days. Girls love fraternity guys, and I got more ass as a pledge than I ever did or have since then. I also learned the difference between house groupies and the brothers’ girlfriends. Big difference. Some girls just hang around, waiting for a brother to notice them, and most of the time, someone does. The girlfriends don’t really care for them, but there’s nothing they can do about it. As for me, I try to respect them all, but some girls make it hard to do because they don’t even respect themselves.
We’ve done some stupid stuff, too. Sometimes, I wonder how we’ve never been arrested or seriously injured. There have been several streaking incidents, and I’ve seen more ‘beans and franks’ than I care to admit. Nudity is likely to occur when there
is a group of guys and alcohol involved.
We met Seth last year when he was a pledge. He was so much fun to mess with that we kind of took him in. He figured out that there was a way onto the roof of the house, and a bunch of the guys started sneaking out there and watching some of the other guys' sexual exploits through their windows. Doing this to a girlfriend was strictly forbidden, but it was nothing to have three or four guys watching someone get laid. Well, one night, Seth took Eric and me up there. Declan wouldn’t go, so it was just the three of us. One of the brothers was all wrapped up in this chick, and we were getting a real show. He knew we were there, but she only found out when Seth fell through the window and landed on the floor. Right in front of her. Eric and I about pissed ourselves we laughed so hard. We’ve been stuck with his sorry ass ever since.
Because of Seth, we've had three different brothers fall off that roof.
Girls wonder why guys do things like that. Why would a group of grown men get together to watch someone have sex? I’m just gonna say that I don’t have an answer other than this: Men are pigs. We engage in all kinds of disgusting behavior that girls don’t really want to know about. I’ve come to the conclusion that girls don’t really want to know what guys think. They want to believe they know what guys think. Big difference.
But no matter how crazy, how completely insane they are, these are my brothers.
Chapter 5
After a quick nap, I decide to get ready and go out to Club Bliss. No way I’m sitting around the house waiting on Eric and Declan to bring the girls back. I’ve got too much shit on my mind to have to deal with that.
As soon as I hit the bottom step, Seth confronts me. “Brody, tell me you’re not leaving too! Eric and Declan are taking those girls out tonight. How lame is that?”
I look around, and the pledges are getting the house ready for the party. I’m tempted to stay, but I’m just not feeling it. “Yeah? I was thinking about going to Bliss tonight. Wanna go?”
