Around two in the morning, Moore kicked everyone out. There were more than a few grumbles but everyone filed out good-naturedly, some more drunk than others. Gracie and Vivian were wasted and Cole offered to see them back to campus. Riley was heading over to Damien's place so she handed me her car keys and said she'd see me in the morning.
“Be smart, Mays. For once,” she told me shortly, her eyes darting to Jordan, who was helping Cole get Vivian in the car. I nodded and she smiled encouragingly before heading off with her boyfriend.
Garrett was trying to get Gracie to the band's van. She kept falling down, laughing and I could see he was getting annoyed. I hurried over and helped him get her up. “There you are, Maysie!” she squealed, kissing me loudly on the cheek.
“Yep, here I am,” I said, trying to haul her up to her feet.
“Jordan loves you, Maysie! No one has ever written me a song before. You are soooo lucky!” she slurred. My face flamed with embarrassment and I quickly looked over at Jordan, but he was still struggling to get Vivian situated. She was making things pretty difficult because she kept grabbing Cole around the neck and trying to pull him into the back seat with her.
Gracie rolled her head onto Garrett's shoulder. “Will you write me a song, Grady? Pretty please?” Gracie hiccupped and I grimaced. Garrett finally gave up and lifted Gracie in his arms, carrying her to the van.
“It's Garrett, sweetheart. As for the song, we'll have to see if you puke in my car first.” Gracie giggled as he got her in the back of the vehicle. He threw me a quick smile before attending to my friend.
Finally, everyone was situated and ready to go. “You coming, Jordan?” Mitch yelled from the back. Jordan hadn't looked at me once. Hell, he acted as though I wasn't even there. So I was surprised when he shook his head.
“Nah. Maysie'll give me a ride.” I will? Cole leaned out of the open window.
“Is that cool with you, Maysie?” he asked.
My eyes darted to Jordan, but his back was still to me. “Uh, yeah. That's fine. I'll see he gets home,” I said.
Cole winked at me again. “Be good you two,” he called as he drove away.
We stood silently in Barton's parking lot, watching the lights flicker out as Moore closed up. Jordan started walking toward Riley's car. “Well, let's get going,” he said indifferently.
What the hell?
I had to jog to catch up with him. He waited patiently while I unlocked the doors and he got into the passenger seat. I went around to the other side and got in. “You okay to drive?” he asked, still not freaking looking at me.
“Yeah, I'm fine,” I shot back.
“Good. I'm staying at Garrett's,” he responded shortly.
I flushed with the beginnings of my anger. What was he playing at? I hated that I couldn't read him. Not like I used to be able to. He stared resolutely out of the windshield. I put the keys in the ignition and turned the car on. I was about to put the car into reverse when his voice stopped me.
“Did you like the song?” he asked, his voice sounding sort of funny. I breathed in through my nose.
“It was beautiful, Jordan. I loved it,” I told him truthfully. Some of the tension seemed to melt away from his body.
“I'm glad,” he murmured. I stared at his profile, willing him to say something else. When it was obvious he wasn't going to, I figured I'd give starting a conversation a shot.
“Congrats on the tour. I'm glad you decided to do it,” I offered. The corner of Jordan's mouth twitched upwards in a smile.
“Thanks,” he said. And then the silence again.
Okay, this was getting beyond ridiculous. “Was there a particular reason you wanted me to take you home?” I asked, sick of the song and dance we were playing around each other. Jordan's hand came up and I watched him rub his hand through his much longer hair.
“I don't know, Mays,” he let out in a rush.
“You don't know?” I asked incredulously. And then he finally turned his head and looked at me. His eyes crackled with a fire that threatened to melt me on the spot.
“No, I do know. I just don't know that you're ready for it,” he said gruffly, not loosening his gaze. I swallowed.
“Tell me, Jordan. Please,” I pleaded quietly. Jordan was breathing heavily in and out through his nose. His neck was tense and he started clicking his tongue ring on his teeth.
“Why, Maysie? What more do you need me to tell you? Haven't I already handed my fucking guts to you on a platter? What else do you need to hear?” he asked me angrily. Jordan reached out and gripped my chin in his strong fingers.
“Do you need to hear that I haven't stopped missing you for one single minute since we broke up? Do I have to tell you that my heart hurts with how much I love you?” He leaned in close to my face and both of us began to breathe erratically as the air heated up between us. My skin pulsated beneath his fingers and I wanted so desperately to dive into this heady feeling he unleashed inside of me.
“I could tell you how much I want to kiss you. That I want your taste in my mouth, on my tongue. That I want to plunge so deep inside you that it will take me a lifetime to climb back out.” OH. MY. GOD!
Jordan leaned in further until his lips brushed against mine. “You have taken my heart, every inch of me, Maysie. I don't know that I have anything else to give you that you don't already have.” I blinked back the tears that threatened to spill over. In that moment, I seized what was in front of me. No more hiding what I was feeling. No more worrying about anything but this beautiful man with his heart in his eyes. I had learned since we were apart that life was too short to live with so much regret. And if I let him go now, I knew the rest of my days would be spent knee deep in the worst regret I could imagine.
“I'm so sorry, Jordan. I've been such an idiot. I love you. So much.” I let out in a liquid gush. Jordan's face stilled and his eyes roved over my face.
“What?” he whispered, his breath dancing across my lips.
Then I realized he had been waiting to hear me say those words to him. He had told me he loved me before but I had never said it back. “I love you, Jordan. With everything that I am. And I'm sick of wasting time until we can be together. I don't give a shit about anything or anyone but you and me.” And just like that, Jordan's face relaxed and contentment spread across his face.
He rubbed his nose against mine. “What the hell took you so long?” he asked before crushing his mouth to mine. At the first touch of his tongue I knew I had come home. Jordan cupped my face in his hands and pulled away. “Promise me, Maysie. No more running. Even when things get rough. Even when we get scared, we'll talk it out. Because there is noone but you. There will never be anyone for me but you! So we have to be careful with one another. We have to go to each other before fucking it all up. Promise me!” he demanded.
I brought my hands up and held his face as he was holding mine. “I promise to stop being a coward and deal with life as it comes. As long as we're together, I think I can handle anything. You are my life, Jordan. And I'm ready to start living it.” Jordan grinned and plundered my mouth again, tasting me, teasing me, leaving me panting for more.
“You're not going to Garrett's. You're coming home with me,” I murmured against his lips. Jordan's fingers combed through my hair before gripping the back of my neck in his warm, possessive hold. A gesture that let me know I was his. For always.
“Take me home, woman. We have some catching up to do,” Jordan said with a smile and that's exactly what we did.
Epilogue
Six Months Later
“Baby, I think a small village could survive off the shit you've packed in here.” Jordan mused, staring into my bulging suitcase. It lay open on my bed as I added dresses, shorts and shoes to the mix.
“We're going to be gone for two weeks, Jordan. I have to be prepared,” I reasoned, throwing in another pair of flip flops. Now it was on to accessories.
“You know, they have stores in Mexico. If you need something you could
always get it there.” Jordan put his hands behind his head and smirked as I started sifting through my earrings. I looked over my shoulder at my too-sexy-for-his-own-good boyfriend and rolled my eyes.
“Don't mess with the Maysie Ardin system,” I warned. Jordan chuckled, but left me to it.
It was three days after Jordan's graduation and we were heading to Cancun for two weeks, a graduation gift from his parents. They had been majorly pissed when Jordan explained to them his plans to take a year off and tour with the Rejects. His father had threatened to disown him. But after taking some time to cool down, they had reached a truce. I knew this surprised the hell out of Jordan. He had expected more of a fight.
But his parents weren't as bad as he made them out to be. He had taken me home with him for spring break. I had fallen in love with his mother, who was the exact opposite of my own mom in every way that counted. His dad, while a bit more reserved, clearly loved his son and wanted what was best for him. Jordan was pretty damn lucky.
My parents on the other hand maintained their staunch disapproval of all my life choices. But I had learned that I didn't really care what they thought anymore. That I was officially living my life for me. And that was hugely liberating.
So, we were gearing up for our vacation. I was looking forward to enjoying some sun and cocktails before coming back to work two jobs for the rest of the summer. I had been hired back at Barton's and I would be starting an internship at the local newspaper in July. So I would be pretty busy.
Jordan hooked his finger around the string of my bikini top and held it up. “Oh, please tell me you're bringing this,” he pleaded. I walked over to him and grabbed it from his hand while kissing him soundly on the mouth.
“Don't you worry, baby, I have plenty of surprises for you.” My eyebrows rose and Jordan groaned.
Then his arms were around me and he had yanked me on top of him. “Jordan! I have to pack!” I squealed as he started to kiss the skin on the side of my neck.
“You need a Levitt break,” he murmured, tracing his tongue along the curve of my ear and grabbing my ass with his hands. I shuddered as he pressed me against his hard erection and I couldn't help but wiggle against it, trying to feel the friction between my legs. My fingers went up into his hair. His lush dark hair now fell in messy waves around his forehead. He had changed the barbell in his eyebrow to a hoop and last month and gotten his lip pierced. That was new and took some getting used to. I had stressed when he had first gotten it about getting it caught when we kissed. But I had quickly learned that I loved it. The combination of lip and tongue ring was particularly delicious when we were engaged in certain activities.
I sank into his body, ready to forget about packing for a while, when his foot kicked my suitcase off the bed, sending my stuff sprawling all over the floor. “Jordan!” I yelped, pushing myself off of him. “Now I have to pack the damn thing over again,” I complained, picking up my clothes off of the floor.
Jordan joined me, going straight for my panties. “I'll take care of these for you,” he teased, holding up a black thong. I grabbed my underwear.
“Just stay out of the way, please,” I said nicely, batting my eyelashes. Jordan laughed and returned to the bed.
It still sort of blew my mind that things were so great with Jordan and me. Particularly after the way we started, we drifted into this fantastic relationship. Sure, we still had our bumps. Each of us were still learning to deal with our jealousy issues. Jordan had a tendency to be a bit overbearing in that regard, but he was trying. Just as I was trying to not let any outside bullshit interfere with this great thing we had going.
After Jordan and I got back together, it wasn't immediate sunshine and roses. I still had to suffer through the nasty looks and whispers. But the longer we were together, the less and less I noticed it. I never spoke to any of the Chi Delta girls, particularly since Vivian and Gracie had left. I occasionally saw Olivia around campus, but she was staying pretty quiet. I realized quickly that Milla was nowhere around.
Then came the news, via Vivian, who still spoke to some of her former sisters, that Milla had taken a semester off. Hmm, I guess there was such thing as karma after all.
Now that I was no longer in Chi Delta, I found that I was able to fill all that extra time very easily. I started going out with Riley a lot more. Our relationship bouncing back to our pre-sorority closeness. Gracie and Vivian were permanent fixtures at our apartment and we started having Wednesday night dinners that quickly morphed into an excuse to chill out and cook lots of food. Jordan's band mates usually came over as well, particularly since Cole and Vivian were still going strong. Damien and a few of his friends sometimes joined and it was amazing to see how I had developed this great group of friends that I didn't have to pay for.
Jordan had spent a lot of time with his band mates, figuring out their tour dates. They were working with Mitch's cousin, Josh, who helped them book thirty shows in Virginia, Maryland and Pennsylvania. They would be playing in bars and small venues. The guys were excited to try and make a go at living their dream. And I was stoked for them.
I would miss Jordan terribly and I still had those moments of insecurity when I thought girls throwing themselves at him. But I just had to look into my boyfriend's eyes and know that I had nothing to worry about it. You see, Jordan and I were in it for life.
“I have to sell back a few books, do you mind heading over to campus with me? We can grab something to eat at the Canteen,” I suggested, putting the last of my clothes in the suitcase and snapping it shut.
“Sure, baby, I just have to text Mitch. We're supposed to have practice at 2:30. You coming with?” he asked me, putting his arm around my waist and pulling me close. He kissed the back of my neck and my body hummed.
“Sure. I haven't seen Viv this week, so we can hang out and talk girlie stuff while our boyfriends play rock gods.” I grinned. Jordan rubbed his nose against mine, an affectionate gesture that never failed to make my toes curl.
“You'll make a great rock star wife. I can see it already,” he said. My heart sputtered to a stop. Wife? Was he serious? Jordan's smile widened and I knew he could read me like a book. He had always been able to. He kissed me on the lips this time. “One day I'll get a ring on your finger. You just wait and see,” he vowed and my heart soared.
We got in Jordan's truck and headed toward Rinard College. Jordan was talking about some new Generation Rejects merchandise that had come in yesterday. I loved seeing him so excited.
“Is it weird knowing you won't be here next year?” I asked him after we pulled up to the campus. I gathered my books off the floor. Jordan took them from me as we got out of the truck.
“Yeah. I mean I'm really excited for the tour. But I have to admit, I'll miss being here with you every day.” He tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. “I'll miss you, Mays. So much,” he said softly, his eyes tender as he looked at me.
I cupped his cheek and rubbed my thumb along the rough hair at his jawline. “Me too. But we'll make it work,” I promised. Jordan grabbed my hand and kissed the palm.
“No more running,” he stated, grinning at me. I nodded.
“I'm all run out, baby. You caught me fair and square,” I replied. Jordan laced his hand with mine and we walked to the book store.
I was able to sell my last three books for a whopping $22. Pocketing the money I pulled Jordan by the hand toward the Canteen. “Come on, babe. This wad of money is burning a hole in my pocket. Let me wine and dine you,” I joked. Jordan pulled me up against his front and nuzzled into my hair.
“You sure do know how to treat a guy,” he teased.
We laughed all the way until we got to the Canteen. We were about to go inside when were stopped by a voice. “Jordan. Maysie. Hey.” I saw Jordan's shoulders tense slightly but his face was relaxed. I looked toward the door and saw Olivia coming down the steps.
She looked beautiful as always. But I no longer felt the burning jealousy I used to when we were around
each other. Because I had seen the less than perfect girl underneath it all and I sort of felt sad for her. Olivia had flown under the radar the rest of the school year and I had heard through the grapevine that she was moving back home to Washington state, where she was from, now that she had graduated.
“Hey,” I said back politely. Jordan nodded in her direction but didn't say anything. Olivia looked up at him.
“Congrats on the upcoming tour. You'll be great,” she said sincerely, giving him a tentative smile.
“Thanks, Liv,” he responded, smiling a bit in return.
Seeing the way she stared up at him, I truly did feel bad for her. Because it was painfully obvious that she was still in love with him. Her eyes became soft and her face held a sad sort of wistfulness. It was hard to stay bitter toward someone who had lost the one thing she had wanted most. Lost it and would never get it back.
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