“You should get a hoodie, Theo. I’ll make five bucks.”
“Dante, that’s rude.”
“Sorry. But it’s soft. You should get one, Theo. It’s Legit.”
Theo chuckles. “I believe you. I think I may be able to order one.”
“Okay, I’ll send you the link when I get home.”
“They’re sixty dollars,” I whisper to Theo.
“It’s cool,” he says.
“You really don’t have to.”
“I’ll look for your confirmation email,” Dante practically shouts, appearing between our seats, making us both jump as we pull up to his school.
“Thank Theo for the ride, Dante. And if he doesn’t want to buy a hoodie, he doesn’t have to.”
“Thanks, Theo, bye Mommy,” a teacher who is clearly freezing her ass off waves to the two of us before leading Dante into school.
“He’s something else,” Theo chuckles.
“Yeah, a natural salesman. Seriously, don’t worry about the hoodie.”
“It’s not a problem.”
Since when is sixty dollars not a problem for a college kid? Sixty dollars is a fortune to me some days. Apparently, Theo’s in better financial shape than I am because I have no clue how I’m going to repair my car.
“Do you know what’s wrong?”
“Wrong?”
“With your SUV?”
“Oh, uh, it’s like eleven years old. It’s gasping for air at this point.”
“I know a guy at Honda if you’re looking for something new.”
“Thanks, I need something. I was going to try to wait until next month, but the universe decided to take a shit on me.”
“Well, let me know.”
“I will.”
The rest of the way to school, I wrack my brain, trying to think of a way to arrange and rearrange. I could barely afford to pay rent this month with the shortage of Troy’s checks. He had to quit his job at UPS because they wouldn’t give him leave. He’s officially unemployed and spending a fortune on a bet that may or may not pay off. Like a fool, I’d started to count on that money, and now we’re both gambling on his ticket. I have no business doing that.
None.
I’ve always been self-reliant. Always. And now I’ve grown used to the help.
Troy needs me to be strong and get him through this time, and I’ll be the same support to him as he’s been to me in the last five months. As I thank Theo and shoulder my bag, I decide I’ll take on Troy’s mindset.
I’ll do whatever it takes.
Troy
“Hey, little man,” I say when Dante answers Clarissa’s phone.
“Hey, Troy!”
“What are you doing?”
“Helping Mommy cook dinner.”
“Whose recipe tonight?”
Suddenly I’m staring at the ceiling.
“Dante?”
“Sorry, I had to wash my hands. We’re having Terri’s Roast. She was a legal scretary from Virginia.”
“That’s secretary,” I hear Clarissa correct. “And for dessert,” Clarissa adds, coming into view, wiping her hands on a towel. My chest tightens at the sight of her. “We have Joanne’s Mud Pie.”
“Mommy says she was Canadan. It’s got gummy worms in it!”
“Oh, yeah?”
“That’s Canadian,” Clarissa corrects.
“And they talk funny, they say aboot,” Dante giggles, “it’s supposed to be about, but they say it like aboot.”
I chuckle. “I get it, bud.”
“How are you?” Clarissa asks, eyes full of concern.
“Hanging in,” I wink.
“Why are you putting your finger on the screen?” Dante asks, tilting his head. I realize that I’m outlining Clarissa’s face with my finger like a fucking douche. Jesus. I want to take my own man card.
“There was a gnat on my screen.”
“Eww. You should clean your phone. Mommy says there’s more acteria on a phone than a piece of poop.”
“Is that so?”
“That’s bacteria, baby,” Clarissa chimes in.
“That’s what I said, gah.”
“Uh huh,” she replies. I can hear the smile in her voice.
“Troy, when are you coming back?” Dante asks pulling the phone and conversation from Clarissa’s reach. “How many sleeps?”
“Thirty, little man.”
“That’s too many!” He whines.
“Okay, go set the table,” Clarissa says, taking the phone.
“K. Bye, Troy!”
“Night, bud.”
Clarissa watches his retreat before turning back to face me. “We’ve got about a minute.”
“I miss the hell out of you.”
“That’ll teach you not to be such a badass. What’s the housing like?”
“Lifeless, shitty. I want some of that pot roast.”
“I’ll make some when you get home.”
“Yeah?”
“Of course.”
“Talked to Mom, said she’s watching Dante tomorrow night.”
“Yeah,” her eyes dart away. “I’ve got a parent-teacher conference. Is that okay?”
“Do they still have parent-teacher conferences in high school?”
“They do if their kid writes, ‘Ms. Arden has DSL’s on the chalkboard.’”
“DSL’s?”
She leans in on a whisper. “Dick sucking lips.”
I throw my head back with a laugh.
“Har, har, laugh it up.”
“Yeah, well, just remember those lips belong to—”
“And he’s back,” Clarissa warns.
“Blocked by my own sperm,” I mutter.
“What’s sperm?”
I show all my teeth as Clarissa gives me wide eyes. “Thanks, Troy. Really.”
“Sorry.” ‘I miss you,’ I mouth.
“Me too.”
“Call me after lights out?”
“If you’re lucky.”
I kick back on my couch. “I’m feeling pretty damned lucky.”
“That’s two dollars you owe me, Troy!”
Joanne’s Mud Pie
Transportation Manager, Canada
Makes 6–8 servings
20 minutes
1 Package Oreos – Crushed
2 Large Packages Instant Chocolate Pudding
6 Cups Milk
1 Large Container Cool Whip
Gummy Worms
Make pudding as directed on package. Stir half of Cool Whip into pudding. Set aside enough Oreos to use for a topping. Stir the rest of the Oreos into the pudding mixture. Pour pudding mixture into bowl or individual serving dishes. Sprinkle remaining Oreos on top of pudding. Place gummy worms on top. Chill for at least 1 hour. Top with remaining Cool Whip when serving.
Clarissa
“Hey, you two,” I walk in exhausted, aching for a hot bath. Pamela looks up from where she cradles a sleeping Dante on our couch. “Shoot, I was hoping to be home in time to tuck him in.”
She reads my posture. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Long day. Thanks so much for watching him.”
“No problem, anytime.”
I lift Dante from her arms. “I’m just going to put him down. Do you mind staying for a second so we can talk?”
“Sure.”
Things are still a bit awkward between us though we’re both trying to find our groove. It’s obvious she still harbors resentment toward me, but I’m determined to try and mend this fence. Once I have Dante in bed, I walk out to see Pamela looking at the freshly hung photos I have on the wall.
“I have copies of all of them that you’re welcome to.”
She looks over at me and I damn near flinch at the hurt in her eyes.
“I know I’ve apologized—”
She raises a hand. “I think we’ve beaten this horse to death. I’m still trying to work my way around it with my own son.”
“I caused that, and I’m sorry.”
“He didn’t have many friends growing up,” she says, scanning the pictures before glancing back at me. “He was the sweetest, most considerate child. I see a lot of Troy in Dante. And I know it has a lot to do with how you’re raising him. But that baby is most definitely my grandson.” She smiles. “Just as shy in public, but observant, he watches everyone like a hawk.”
“Troy was shy?”
“So shy. I was worried for so long he would never snap out of it. But then puberty hit, and then came football, and dear God, it was like whiplash. I don’t think he ever really knew how to handle it.”
“That’s so different from the guy I know.”
“Look closer, darlin’.”
“I’m sorry?”
She shakes her head. “You wanted to talk to me?”
“I know I have no right to ask you for anything, but I need a favor.”
“Shoot.”
Troy
Parker: Hey, spermenator. Do you know where our girl is?
Troy: Always nice to hear from you, Parker. And no, I haven’t talked to her since this morning.
Parker: She’s not texting back.
Troy: Probably because it’s after eleven. And you’ve always had your wine and Ambien after eleven.
Parker: She told you she avoids my calls after eleven?
Troy: No.
Parker: LIAR! Women. You think you know them, then some penis comes along, and it’s no more titties before testes.
Troy: Titties before testes? That’s a thing?
Parker: I just made it a thing.
Troy: Will there be anything else?
Parker: Yes. What are your intentions with my BFF?
Troy: How about none of your damned business.
Parker: EHHH. Wrong answer.
Troy: Jesus. Even your texts are annoying.
Parker: Secretly, you adore me.
Troy: Rub your fingers together, and you’ll get an inkling of how much.
Parker: Well, you bought me a Christmas gift.
Troy: You STOLE my Grand hoodie. That wasn’t a gift.
Parker: I’m wearing it now, and it’s amazing.
Troy: Make sure you wash it before you return it.
Parker: If you want it back so much, It’s in India. Come and get it. (Devil emoji)
Troy: Nah, keep it. But make sure to write a review. (Devil emoji)
Parker: I’m going to kill your baby mama. (Cursing emoji)
Troy: Will there be anything else?
Parker: Yes. Please don’t hurt her.
I tense at the idea that Clarissa voiced that fear to Parker, and that doesn’t sit well with me.
Troy: Hey, baby, you up?
Minutes later, and without a reply from Clarissa, I get an Amazon link from Parker.
GrandGirl#08 Reviewer Ranking 1,037
Men’s XL Texas Grand Hoodie-Garnet
I got this hoodie gently used. Well, the hoodie, I can’t say much for the previous owner, but I have my suspicions this hoodie has seen more floors on the Grand campus than thongs on an adult film set. Anyhoo, it’s nice and comfortable and seems to be doing its job for the moment. But, if at any point in time, it starts to show any wear and tear, I will reduce it to an unrecognizable pile of muscled material…slowly, oh so slowly, and thread by thread.
So far, this hoodie has shown no signs of distress—in fact, I’m rooting for this hoodie to bring years of comfort and happiness—despite the lineup of new and capable hoodies waiting on the sidelines.
Note to the previous owner – If I find any signs of irreparable damage, I will be asking for a FULL refund via pound of flesh.
Grand girls stay Grand. Grand guys better damn well measure up.
**Sharpens scissors.**
“Hey, Troy,” Dante answers, as I settle into bed.
“Hey, bud, what are you doing?”
“Nonny is teaching me how to play checkers.”
“Who’s Nonny?”
“I’m Nonny,” my mother replies, coming into view.
“What are you two doing?”
“Trying to teach this kid there’s more to life than the internet.”
“Yet, I see you’re wearing his merch.”
She rolls her eyes. “I’ve never in my life paid twenty-seven dollars for a T-shirt.”
“You got suckered.”
“It’s Legit,” Dante pipes in, offended.
“How much did you make off her?”
Dante whispers into the phone. “Two dollars.”
I can’t help my laugh. My son is a hustler. “How many more sleeps?”
“Too many. Where is Mommy?”
“She left with a work friend.”
“Girl’s night,” my mom says. “She should be home soon.”
“It’s nice of you to watch him.”
“It’s not a favor, son. Dante, I’ll be in the kitchen. Don’t make a move without me.” I hear him agree as she moves into the other room.
“How is camp?”
“It’s good. My forty is the best it’s ever been. It’s grueling though.”
“Worth the money?”
“Let’s hope so.”
“You still going to graduate in May?”
“Yes. It’s going to be a bitch to catch up, but I should be good.”
“That’s my boy. You know your dad called not too long ago.”
“Yeah, he on the ‘what if my son becomes a millionaire’ train?”
“Probably.”
“Won’t that be a kick in the teeth.”
“God, I know I’m not supposed to rejoice, but I love that you feel that way.”
“I’ve got nothing for him,” I say honestly. “Let’s not talk about this now.” I lift my chin, and she nods in understanding.
“Right. Little ears.”
“So, will you tell Clarissa to call me when she gets in? She’s been hard to reach lately. Everything okay?”
“She’s got a job and a child.”
“I know.”
“Don’t give her a hard time for it,” she says in her business tone.
“Well, well, well, look who’s tap-dancing over enemy lines. You two seem to be getting along.” I can’t help my smile. I was worried it might not happen, but I should have known.
“She’s a good woman. I’m having a hard time staying pissed off.”
“Now you see how I feel.”
This gets her attention. “How do you feel?”
“Like I want to be sitting where you are.”
Mom smiles. “I like her. I really do. I like her for you. She’s got a good head on her shoulders, she’s beautiful, and makes beautiful babies.”
“That she does.”
“I can’t wait for the next one.”
“Cart before the horse, Mom.”
“You two little shits started it that way.”
“You owe me two more bucks, Nonny,” Dante says. “I got your checkers too.”
“That ought to teach you,” I say.
She sighs. “Love you, son. I’m going to go put this little light out.”
“Love you, Mom.”
“Love you, Troy!” Dante shouts just as she ends the call, and my heart flips in my chest.
Lauren’s Eggs Benedict
Commercial Specialist, New Jersey
Makes 6 servings
20 minutes
Hollandaise Sauce
2 Egg yolks
1 stick of butter
1 tbsp real lemon juice
3 English muffins
Margarine
6 Thin Slices Fully Cooked Canadian-style Bacon or Smoked Ham
1 Tsp. Butter
6 Poached Eggs
To prepare Hollandaise Sauce; slightly beat egg yolks, add one half stick of butter and lemon juice, stir over low flame until butter melts. Add the rest of the butter and stir until it thickens. * increase the amount of lemon juice to suit your taste. Keep warm. Split English muffins and toast. Spread each muffin half with margarine and kee
p warm. Cook Canadian-style bacon in 1 teaspoon margarine over medium heat until light brown. Prepare poached eggs. Place 1 slice bacon on split side of each muffin half and top with poached egg. Spoon warm sauce over eggs
Clarissa
“You look tired,” Troy says as I settle into bed.
“Thanks.”
“That’s not the way I meant it.”
“I know. I am tired. You spoiled me when you were here, and I guess I got used to it.”
“I’ll be home soon.”
“I know.”
“It’s been hard to get ahold of you.”
“I’m sorry. I meant to call you back last night and fell asleep when I put Dante to bed.”
“It’s cool. Everything okay?”
“Yeah, fine. Why?”
“Parker’s been trying to get ahold of you too.”
“Yeah, I spoke to her, thanks for ratting me out.”
He winces. “My bad.”
“Yeah, you’re going to pay for that.”
“I’ll make it up to you.”
“I’m going to hold you to it. It feels like forever since I’ve seen you.” My eyes water and I curse my stupid hormones.
His expression grows serious. “What’s wrong?”
I sniffle and do my best to get it together. “I just miss you. It’s stupid, right? You’ll be back in a couple weeks.”
“It’s been a long fucking month. The longest of my life, if I’m honest. Too much time away, from Dante, from you. I don’t know how I’m going to feel when I’m on the road.”
“You’ll be playing, not training. Doing what you love. Right now, you’re jumping through hoops to make it happen. It’ll all work out in your favor.”
His beautiful blue eyes penetrate me through the screen as he lays on a pillow, his hand behind his head, bicep bulging. “Fuck, I wish I was there.”
“Me too, I would lick the shit out of that bicep.”
“You like that?”
“Uh huh.”
His mouth lifts. “Will you like me when I’m old, fat, and have saggy man butt?”
I smirk. “Doubt it.”
The Underdogs: The Complete Series Page 49
