“Lance, I’m sorry I didn’t say anything in New York. My hesitation had nothing to do with the way I feel about you.”
“Harper, I hear you. Okay. I hear you. But it changes nothing.”
“But it does. I want to give you what you want.” I shake my head, knowing I screwed up with the way I just worded it.
He tosses his wrench down, and it clanks loudly in the box. “What I want?”
“That came out wrong. What we both want. Lance, you’re the only relationship I’ve ever been in. I’m not always going to do or say the right thing.”
He sighs. “We ended it twice. It’s not going to work between us, Harper.”
“You asked me to come. I want to be here.”
“I also begged you to give me any sign we might work out, and you kept that mouth of yours shut. But seeing you, being with you, it was… Those were the best two days I’ve had in years. But I’m in deep shit, Harper. And you aren’t the answer, no matter how much I want you to be. My fists are my way out. And you’re right, I had no business going to New York and disrupting your life like that. Make no mistake, I loved every minute I spent with you. But you aren’t the answer. You’re not. And I won’t ask you to be. Your career is back there. There’s no one to dance for here, but me. It’s wrong, even I can see it. I won’t ask you to sacrifice your first love for your second.”
Tears gather in my eyes. “Are you sure?”
“I have to be, for my sanity alone.”
“Is it that hard to love me?”
“I can’t keep you.”
Fighting the sting in my chest, I search for some common ground. “Let’s table us for now. Let me be your friend.”
“I’ve got enough of those.”
“Don’t shut me out. You’re in a bad place, Lance, it happens. Let me be here for you, for your family. I can handle it.”
“Think you can, huh?”
“I can handle anything for you, with you.”
He sighs, wiping his hands on a towel before pressing his fists against his workbench. “I told you I was done. Why aren’t you getting that?”
“You don’t mean it, you can’t, and I’m not leaving until you figure that out.”
“Suit yourself. The guest bedroom is down the hall from mine. Night.”
“Lance—”
“I’ve got shit to do.” He splays his hands in front of him, and I nod, defeated. I’ve had enough rounds for one day.
“Okay.”
Eyes watering, I make my way out of the barn into the cold and realize the temperature here is a hell of a lot more frigid than it was in New York.
Maybe it’s too late.
Harper
A loud screech comes from my bedroom window, jarring me from a dead sleep. I fall from the bed onto the freezing hardwood floor.
“Jesus Christ!”
I pat down my body to make sure I’m not bleeding or broken as deep chuckles come from the other side of the window. I open it to see Lance holding a rooster, laughing hysterically along with Trevor. I open the window letting in the freezing air, ready to pummel them both.
“You assholes!”
Lance’s laughter dies in his throat as Trevor’s eyes bulge. In the next second, the rooster is set free, and Lance is covering Trevor’s eyes with his hands.
“Harper,” Lance barks, “your titty popped out.”
Trevor fights Lance’s hold as I look down and see one of my boobs came free from my sports bra during my fall.
“I could use a morning feeding,” Trevor laughs hysterically, pulling desperately at his brother’s hands as I adjust myself.
“Get your chores done and get to school.”
“Talk about backfire,” Trevor says when Lance lets him go. He grins at me with his brother’s breathtaking smile, and it tugs on my heart. “Morning, my lady.”
I roll my eyes, unable to help my grin. “Morning, handsome.”
“Sorry about that,” he offers, stepping up to the window and nodding toward Lance, “wasn’t my idea.”
I glare at the man standing next to him in a grey, long john shirt and black marshmallow vest. A beanie covers his thick dark hair enhancing the chiseled, strong lines of his jaw. “I’m sure it wasn’t.”
“So,” Trevor says, looking between us, “see you after a while?”
“I’ll be here,” I say defiantly, meeting the eyes of my ex. His nostrils flare, and he shakes his head.
“Wouldn’t count on it, brother.”
“Oh, I’ll be here,” I assure Trevor.
“Damn, I don’t want to leave,” Trevor says, grinning between us before biting his lip. “Maybe later tonight, you can tuck me in and tell me a bedtime sto—”
“Chores, school,” Lance barks out, pushing him out of view.
“Fine, man, I’m going, Jesus.”
Trevor takes off, and Lance and I stand there awkwardly on opposite sides of the window. It’s barely daybreak and I’m not sure I’ve witnessed a sunrise in years.
“Thanks for that, friend. A cup of coffee would have been far nicer.”
“Sorry, couldn’t resist.” His grin is devilish and infuriating. He’s declared himself on the wrong side of the welcoming committee.
“So, what’s on the agenda for today?”
He shrugs. “No idea. You don’t work here.”
“Do now. I’ll be out in twenty to help.”
He shakes his head as if I’m being ridiculous.
“I’m here to help, Lance.”
“No one’s asking for it.”
He’s determined to push me away. I’m not having it. This little saga of ours has lasted long enough. I forgot how much strength I take from him. How being on the opposite of both his resistance and affection empowers me. And whether he wants to admit it or not, the draw is still there.
I can do this. I’m not giving up, not at all.
Game on, Lover.
Seeing the coast is clear behind him, I pull off my sports bra and stand there half naked as his eyes roam appreciatively down my body. I turn, glancing over my shoulder, lip caught in my teeth as I slowly peel off my sleep leggings to give him a clear view of my naked ass. Lance stands on the other side of the window, a storm brewing in his eyes as I turn, giving him a full-frontal view. I drop my grin just before I abruptly drop the shades, shutting him out.
A barely audible growl escapes him, but I hear it and feel the zing in my chest while prancing through the bedroom, wearing only a smile.
This round is mine.
“Morning,” Jack greets me from where he sits at the table.
“Morning, Jack.”
“You got a minute?”
“Of course,” I say, taking the seat at the table next to him.
“I’m sorry for my outburst last night. It was a bad day. I’m hard to get along with lately.” He looks toward Jeannie, who sets a cup of coffee in front of me along with an antique-looking sugar and cream set. “Thank you.”
“Morning, sweetheart. I think what he’s trying to say is—”
“I can speak for myself,” he says to his wife.
“Sorry, baby,” she says, a glimmer of hurt in her eyes before it disappears.
“Come here,” he says to her, and she looks over at him, confused.
“Just a second,” he tells me, jerking in his seat. “Come here, Jeannie.” He holds out a shaky hand, and she takes it. He pulls her to him, and I can hear his whisper. “I love you.”
The sentiment seems to take her by surprise. “I know you do.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Jack—”
He nudges her. “Tell me you forgive me.”
“Nothing to forgive.”
He hugs her tight to him, and she pulls away with tears shimmering in her eyes. “So sentimental this morning. I’ll get your breakfast.” I see then that Lance is Jack’s apple. And Jack’s just as much of a gentle soul with the same hair-trigger temper.
“I haven’t been myself in quite s
ome time. My boys are suffering, and they don’t deserve it.”
“No one is suffering,” Jeannie chimes in, cracking an egg on the side of a cast-iron pan.
“Enough, baby. Let me talk to Harper.”
“Fine.”
Jack turns to me. “I know what you did.”
“I’m sorry. I just can’t watch you suffer.”
“We can’t accept it.”
“It’s only for a couple of months until Lance pays me back.”
“We don’t do well accepting charity around here.”
“I’m aware. But it’s a loan. I swear. Once he gets paid for his first fight, he’s going to reimburse me.”
“This is a deal you made with Lance?”
Jack weighs my expression as I do my best to keep a straight face.
“It’s a deal we made a long time ago.”
“You’re bullshitting, Harper, but I appreciate it. You should know we’ve endured a lot out here over the years. This is just a hard time.”
“I admire you for it. Both of you. It’s amazing what you’ve built. I’m sorry for overstepping. But please take it.” I don’t look away because something tells me he would appreciate it more if I confronted his condition the way he’s been forced to.
“All right. Thank you. It’ll be nice not to be a human blender for a while.”
Jeannie laughs as Jack chucks my chin with shaky fingers, another Lance trait I adore. “It’s all right to smile, it was a joke.”
Jeannie winks at me as she sets our plates down. “I hope you like rib-sticking food, that’s all we serve around here.”
“I’m a fan of it, thank you,” I say, feeling relieved. “But please don’t feel like you have to cook for me.”
“Happy to, darlin’.”
“You are welcome here,” Jack adds, “no matter what my boy says. He’s going through something right now, hard to get through.”
“I know. Thank you, sir.”
“Jack,” he says, picking up a piece of bacon.
“Thank you, Jack.”
After breakfast, I make the trek out to where Lance is on his tractor. He’s rolling out hay on the frozen ground for the cattle. I flag him down to join him, and he ignores me, driving past as I fume, freezing where I stand.
“If you want to help him, grab a rake and spread it out some,” Jeannie calls to me from the side of the fence where she scatters corn around for the chickens.
“Thanks.” I make my way toward the barn and come back armed. I spend the better part of an hour thinning out the hay as Lance expertly lays it out in a trek for the herd. The sprawling estate looks gorgeous in the early morning light, the frost hitting the trees. When Lance is done, he hops off the tractor and stands next to it, watching me for a few seconds before walking toward the barn.
Lance
“Another one,” Tony barks as I flip the tractor tire over. Four days. She’s been here for four days, and from what I can tell, has no plans of going anywhere. She’s done the one thing I swore I wouldn’t let her do, weaseled her way into my world, and into my family’s heart. Trevor is head over heels, at her beck and call, while my mother fawns over her nightly at the table, and Dad remains stoic, painting the best picture he can of his health. It’s all for show, as far as I’m concerned. Everyone seemed to have remembered their manners the day after she arrived here, but as soon as she leaves, she’ll take the light she brought with her. I’m refusing her help at every turn. Only looking at her when she addresses me in polite conversation. She’s letting me do my thing, showing up to every workout without fail as silent support while biting her tongue. I know her tactics. She thinks I’ll come around and eventually we’ll work it out.
She’s wrong.
I have a life-changing fight a little over a week away, and I need to win, regardless of the payday. I have a family to support. I’m not a fly by the seat of my pants kind of guy. Every move I make matters. New York was my first whim in years. Despite her attempt at showing my reflection in a statue, it was no big epiphany. I’m very much aware of the weight on my shoulders, and I’m doing everything in my power to keep my head up, to keep that weight from crushing me.
I’m done pretending sticking a bow on it will pretty up this life of mine. I need to think about my future in the realistic sense. And so, she can stay as long as she wants, but it won’t change the facts.
I have to admit, it’s been nice to have the help, to be able to concentrate more on my training than the daily duties at the ranch. But I know what’s coming, and I dread the fact that I’ll have to turn her down. Where she’s concerned, I’m resigned. Love solves nothing. It’s just another catalyst for shit that can go south. I need to protect us both from more heartache, especially since she’s too blind to see it. I’ve been chewing on the truth since I left New York, and since she arrived here, I just can’t bring myself to swallow the fact that when she drives away from this ranch, it will be the last time I ever see her. With her talent, her future is unlimited.
“Good,” Tony says as I get the tire over again. “Get in a few more, and I’ll see you ringside in about thirty.”
I nod just as Harper walks up, in jeans and a hoodie, perching herself on the fence.
“Hey, guys, how’s it going today?”
Tony smiles at her. “Hey, going good. I’m going to head in. See you ringside in thirty?”
“Wouldn’t miss it.”
Lifting the tire, I push it over effortlessly, my irritation at her arrival, giving me a burst of energy.
“I was hoping we could talk sometime today.”
“Busy at the moment,” I say, lifting the monster tire in an attempt to tip it.
Commotion stirs up behind her, and she glances back at the herd.
“Why are they locked up today?”
“We’ve got a few heifers in heat.”
“Ah,” she says, turning back to me and lifting a brow. “Bow chica wow wow.”
I shake my head, fighting my grin. “Harper, I’m busy.”
“I can see that, but last time I checked, you didn’t need to have your arms to waggle your tongue.”
“What?” I challenge, turning the tire over again.
“I just wanted to see if maybe you would take me out of here. You know, go somewhere. Get dinner or a beer.”
“Bored already?”
“No,” she says adamantly. “Not at all. I’m still sore from yesterday.”
She’s been doing more than her fair share, and guilt riddles me that I let her.
“You don’t have to help.”
“Well, I consider it paying for room and board.”
I put my gloved hands on my hips. “And just how long do you plan on staying?”
“Until you can look me in the eye and mean what you say.”
Grunting, I lift the tire. “Don’t you have an apartment to pay for?”
“Don’t worry your head about me. I’m just fine, right where I am.”
Right at that moment, one of our herd decides to taste her cheek, and she jumps off the fence, screaming bloody murder. “Jesus, buy a girl dinner first, bleh,” she says as I wipe my hand down my jaw, trying to hide my laugh. She glares at the cow and shoos her away, resuming her seat on the wood post, swinging her mile-long legs.
“Come on, Lance. One beer? It will do you good to get out, have a little fun.”
“I don’t need to have fun. I need to concentrate, and you’re fucking that part up nicely.”
“I’m just trying to help.”
“You know how to help,” I snap. “You just can’t believe it’s the truth.”
“Leaving you again is not an option for me, sorry. Name something else.”
Commotion erupts behind her, and I freeze in awareness.
“Harper, get down.” I’m halfway to her when I see the bull stiffen and rear back.
“No! I’m not going anywhere, you ass! I know it’s going—”
“Harper, get off the fence!” I yell just a se
cond before the bull charges.
“Lance!” she cries hoarsely just as I snatch her off the fence and hear the crash of the horns. She laughs hysterically in my embrace as she eyes the bull.
“Hey, man,” she calls out to the bull, “what did I ever do to you?”
Giggling in my arms, she turns back to me, cheeks pink from the cold, eyes filled with laughter and lips turned up in a serene smile. Her fingers brush along the growing stubble on my jaw. “My hero. You saved me from a raging bull.”
“It’s not funny!”
She jerks in my hold, eyes widening at my venom.
“If he would have nailed you, your career would be over!”
I drop her to her feet as she gapes at me.
“Why is everything a joke to you?”
“Hey. Hey!” She holds up a defensive hand. “That was close, I agree, and I’m thankful to you for saving my ass, believe me, but what in the hell is your problem?!”
“You, you’re my problem. You take nothing seriously. You make light of everything, and it’s ridiculous. You act like a child.”
“I’m just trying to snap you out of this funk, Lance.”
“It’s not a funk, Harper, this is my reality,” I hold my hands up. “This is inescapable, and I have to deal with it every day. So, while this may be a vacation for you, this is my future, and I’m here, day in day out, trying to hold onto it. I’m losing my father,” my voice cracks and it only angers me further, “to an illness I can’t afford to help him fight. My little brother has nothing, nothing, a guy his age should have. He’s still running on smiles and hand-me-downs, and even when he gets a job, he won’t have shit because we’re sticking every dime we have into a sinking ship. So no, Harper, I don’t want to go break free and have a few beers because it won’t help shit.”
I leave her there in the middle of the field and head toward the barn.
Harper
Sending off a FaceTime request for the third time, René finally picks up.
“Hey, Mami! How is Texas?”
Just as I open my mouth to speak, my face crumbles.
“Oh chit, Ricky told me it was home of da steers and queens, maybe I the one who chud of gone to Texas.”
The Underdogs: The Complete Series Page 82
