“Get in the truck, Harper.”
“He’s been drinking all day,” Channah attempts to excuse, pulling at his arm. Mark grins over to me, and I can feel the coil in Lance’s posture as he keeps his own gaze zeroed on me. “This guy wore my hand-me-downs for years. My mother gave him my old clothes. I guess it’s only natural that he tries to second hand my fucking girl.” Lance grimaces, but not at the insult, at my reaction.
“Had to fuck her, huh?” Mark says, taking a menacing step forward.
All the blood leaves my face. Channah looks over to me, and I can feel her confusion, see the question in her eyes. It’s the same damned question every woman’s piqued gaze asks. What’s he doing with you?
“Had to fuck her to show me. You sure showed me, didn’t you? But what exactly did you prove? Didn’t get drafted, your ranch is in shambles, you’re bankrupt. You aren’t going anywhere, Prescott, and so you just couldn’t keep your filthy hands to yourself.”
“Mark!” Channah begs, tugging at the sleeve of his shirt while trying to drag him back.
Lance remains mute, his eyes trained on me. Blinding anger shines through, but it’s mixed with fear. It’s then I see everything he’s been hiding.
I saw all the signs, I recognized them because I’ve lived them for years.
I close my eyes as the shock wave runs through me.
Not Lance. Anyone but Lance.
Introvert. Mute. No social media. Tight inner circle.
He’s been dealing with this his whole life, and he didn’t want me to know.
A part of me dies inside as it dawns on me why. Mark isn’t Lance’s nemesis, but his bully.
Reeling, I grab his bicep and squeeze. “Let’s go.”
Eyes forward, Lance stalks toward his truck, and I follow. So does Mark, who easily discards Channah with the jerk of his arm.
“You’re a shitshow, always have been. Won’t ever amount to nothing.”
Silence. Unbearable silence is Lance’s answer and it rips me apart.
This is not the confident man I met, this is his shadow, a shadow he’s been fighting for years. In a sickening second, it occurs to me he might actually believe the hateful words being spewed at him.
“And your girl is fucking ugly.”
Lance turns on a dime and spits on the ground just as Mark takes a swing, and Lance leans into it, begging for the contact, for the greenlight. He counters with his right landing squarely on Mark’s jaw, taking him down with one blow.
Channah screams just as Lance charges to get to him, where he lays sprawled on the ground. In the next second, Tony has Lance in his hold, pulling him back. “I’m going to fucking end you,” Lance explodes, fighting Tony’s grasp to get to him.
“Your goddamn fists are deadly weapons!” Tony roars as he hooks Lance around the chest and manages to get him in a lock barely a foot away.
And then he’s in his face, Lance’s deadly stare fixed on Mark where he sits on the ground dazed as Tony commands his attention. “You fight him, and it’s all over! Everything we’ve worked for, over. Wake the fuck up!”
Channah looks over to me, face ashen as she kneels in front of Mark. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” She hoists Mark up, and he sways to his feet before Channah wraps an arm around him. He spits out a mouthful of blood, his satisfaction with the spectacle he created unmistakable. “You’re still a fucking loser Prescott, always will be.”
Tony doesn’t budge in his hold on Lance, his back ramrod straight, his voice laced with venom as he addresses Mark. “You better get the fuck out of here, man. I assure you, you don’t want what you’re asking for.”
“Stay the fuck away from her,” Mark warns, which would be comical since he can barely stand from the weight of Lance’s blow, but it’s anything but. “You were just a means to an end,” Mark spits again, lifting Channah’s hand to showcase the obnoxious rock floating on top of it.
“I’m coming for him next, if you don’t get him out of here,” Tony barks out to Channah, who wastes no time walking him back toward the bar while he continues to mouth off.
Tony steps up to Lance, who’s seething. “If you’re going to throw everything away for that piece of shit, then you’re wasting both our fucking time. Last warning, Lance, wake the fuck up! Or I’m out.”
“Take her home,” Lance grits out, his breaths coming fast.
Tony sweeps his hand out, clear accusation in his eyes. “After you.”
Crippled by the last few seconds, I stand by helplessly as Lance clenches his fists, his eyes roaming with lividity from Mark’s retreating back to Tony.
“You go after him, your life is over,” Tony says in desperate warning.
Lance’s gaze finally drifts to mine, and in his eyes, I see the bite of humiliation. I know that look. I’ve felt what he’s feeling a hundred times over. Heart clawing its way out of my chest, I move toward Lance just as he lashes out.
“You fucking happy? Did you see what you wanted to see? Did you get what you wanted?”
“Lance—”
“It’s a damned shame you had to see what you bought into, isn’t it?”
I shake my head. “I don’t believe that. Not any of it.”
“Yeah, well, you should. Who’s the fool now?”
“D-don’t say anything else. Please.”
He levels me with his cold, dead stare. “You aren’t wanted here. Leave!”
And that’s when the levee breaks, and rage overtakes me.
“I hate you,” the words are guttural, stemming from a hurt I’ve never experienced. It burns like acid, my skin recoiling as bile climbs my throat.
“Good, take care, Harper.”
All at once, I’m broken, sick with grief. This final blow he delivered with precision, and I feel the betrayal to my core.
He moves towards his truck when I charge and begin to pound on his back. “You didn’t have to come back to New York! Why? Why did you do this to me?”
He takes my blows, his steps sure as if he’s not stomping on the remnants of what I believed about us.
He’s not this man, he can’t be this man.
Lance shrugs me off effortlessly, pulling his keys from his pocket. “Get her home.”
“You bastard,” I cry as Tony wraps around me, tugging me away. Sobbing uncontrollably, I let the anger win, and the floodgates open. “Lance!” I scream at his retreating back. Something in my voice has him pausing to turn and look at me. “You’re becoming what you hate!”
Physically, I see him flinch at the truth. “And you win,” I choke out. “I made a mistake. I should have never left Texas! I should have never left you! I didn’t want to! I didn’t want to leave! I had to!”
“What are you talking about?”
“This is what you wanted, right? Well, I’m admitting it.” An eerie calm overtakes me, and I go limp in Tony’s hold before he lets me go. My boots crunch on the gravel beneath my feet before I stop to face him head-on, lifting enraged eyes to his. “I had to leave. They ran me out. They terrorized my sister, my family, me, that’s how my dad found out about us, he was worried about your motives. I was fourteen all over again. But the breaking point was when they assaulted me at the Amhurst game.”
Lance visibly sways, as if struck, while Tony swears behind me. “Jesus Christ.”
“If I hadn’t left, you would have fought them all. I came here to commit to you. I love you, Lance. You. Fucking. Idiot. But being with you made me a target. I fought them then as hard as I could, and I was willing to fight them now to be with you…but now…God,” I sob out, “I hate you.”
His voice is barely a whisper. “They—”
“They—as in your teammates and their girlfriends—they came after me, blaming me for their losing season, or maybe it was just for sport. If Troy—”
“Troy knew?”
“Don’t. I begged him not to tell you. And if he wouldn’t have stopped it that day, it would have been a whole lot worse. You were worth it, then,” I s
hake my head in disbelief. “I don’t know you anymore.”
“Harper,” he whispers hoarsely, searching my eyes. “They hurt you?”
“Jesus, Lance, despite what you think, you’re one of very few who think I’m beautiful. Your teammates didn’t share the same opinion. Did you not hear that man just call me ugly? Maybe you recognized a part of yourself when you looked at me the first time, or maybe you just loved me too much to see it. But that made you worth it.”
He stands stunned as I wipe my face free of years of humiliation.
Unable to deny it anymore, I admit my truth. “I didn’t want you to be ashamed or be in the position to defend me. You would have blown your shot. And when you came to New York, I got scared. I got so scared that when you again get caught in the spotlight, I will be too. Being with you would, without a doubt, hurt me.”
He stares at me, jaw slack, absorbing the truth.
Body trembling, I fight to get the words out. Words that are too late, words that are the crux of us. His words from years ago. “You see, my love, it’s a cruel world without you in it.”
His face falls as I lift, so my truth hits his lips. “My leaving had little to do with dancing, despite what I promised myself. I wanted your love so much more than the look on your face right now. But what you just did to me…” I lift my chin in defiance, showing him his mirror, “makes you the bully.” All the fight leaves me as I utter my defeat, “no longer worthy of this ugly girl’s love.”
For the first time in my life, my legs fail me as Tony sweeps me into his arms and drives me back to the ranch.
Lance
“Lance, man, it’s late.”
“What the hell happened to Harper?”
“She finally told you?”
“I was halfway to the highway when I realized I had no idea who I was going to murder.”
“You’re talking crazy.”
I uncap my bottle. “I’m feeling a little crazy, brother.”
“I’m not telling you shit until you can handle it. But I’m glad she told you.”
“Why didn’t you?” I grit out. “You’re supposed to be my friend.”
I drain some of the whiskey sitting in my truck parked behind her rental. I refuse to let her go, though she hasn’t walked out of the house since Tony brought her in. I’m lucky she had too much to drink or else she’d be long gone.
“I’m sorry, man, she begged me.”
“Motherfucker!” I slam my fist into the dash.
“Lance, you have to calm down. I know it’s the last thing you want to hear, but going off the rails isn’t the solution.”
“Tell me what happened.”
“You going to chill?”
“I’m not going anywhere tonight. I make no promises for tomorrow.”
Troy sighs over the line. “I get it. I really do. Let me change the baby and get her a bottle. Hold up. I have to set my phone down.”
Troy’s voice sounds up again a second later. “Hey, baby girl. You hungry?”
I hear the answering coo of his daughter. She’s desperately trying to discuss it with him. I can hear the kiss he gives her before the rip of a diaper.
“Look at Daddy’s baby. Look at you. You’re a hot mess,” he coos back. “Stinky too, but I’ll forgive you because you’re so damned pretty.” She’s wide open now, her wordless conversation coming out in breaths and grunts. I can picture her, fists raised and flying, helpless and utterly dependent on him. My emotions shift as I listen to their exchange, and I do my best to steady myself for what I’m about to hear. A few minutes later, he’s back on the line.
“Hey, man, you still there?”
“Pretty manipulative using your kid like that.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Tell me what happened, Jenner.”
He lets out a long breath. “It was in the parking lot, after the game. She told me she was on her way to wait for you.”
I sip the bottle, my vision blurring in a mix of pain and rage. “They threw a full soda can at her head at the end of the fourth and split it. She was on her way to get help when they pinned her to her Toyota in the parking lot. That’s when I walked out.”
It’s everything I can do to keep from ripping the cab of my truck apart.
“It was Yates and his crew. He was threatening her. Telling her, it was her fault and that she had fucked up a whole football season because she couldn’t keep her legs closed. I lost it.”
“Jesus Christ,” I rub my temple.
“I went to the ER with her as she was stitched up and…”
“Don’t hold out on me, man.”
“There was a lot of blood. She was hysterical. She refused to report it. She knew you would blow a gasket.” I think back to that night. I remember her making an excuse for not picking me up after a game. It was nearly a month before we broke up. She’d been hiding it that long?
“I’m so sorry, man. It was fucking horrible to witness. I damn near killed Yates, but it wasn’t just him. They came at her from all sides.”
“Why? Why didn’t you tell me? I could have protected her.”
“No, you couldn’t, and she was protecting you. Tell me she’s there. That you’re working things out?”
“I don’t think that’s happening, man.” I’m seconds from exploding but have no outlet. I’ve damaged everything. My relationship with my parents is strained, Trevor thinks I’m off my rocker. Even Tony is fed up. And Harper, the love of my fucking life, is disgusted by me. I’ve ruined myself. I’ve ruined damn near everything good about my life.
“I’ve done some pretty fucked up things to Clarissa. She forgave me. Don’t give up.”
“I don’t know if she’s capable of loving me the same.”
“You’d be surprised. But trust me when I say, I got him, and I got him good. I didn’t want you to blow your chance at the draft, either.”
“Yeah. A lot of good it did.”
“Big oversight on their part. You know how I feel about that. But you’re where you belong now. I believe that, and you do too. She was right about you, and you were about her. Lance, she’s one of the good ones.”
My eyes burn as I try to put myself in her shoes. “All this time, she never told me.”
“Would you want to admit it?”
No. And I didn’t. For years I’ve kept my own shit to myself. And the fact that tonight she saw what I dealt with growing up was humiliating.
“Do you think…” I swallow because it shouldn’t matter, but the words feel like acid coming off my tongue, “she’s ugly?”
“My opinion never mattered to you before. And that’s what she didn’t want to open your eyes to. Honestly, she’s not conventionally beautiful, but no, I don’t think she’s ugly at all.”
“She believes she is,” I say, heart obliterated. “I think she’s fucking perfect.”
“That’s all that matters. You think I give a shit if you think my wife is pretty?”
“Troy, how…how could they hurt her?”
It’s then I see the livid eyes and hear the voice of Ryan Elliot years ago in my driveway.
“She’s not like other girls. She won’t recover if you rip her heart out. She’s been through a lot, and you’re subjecting her to a lot more.”
He thought I knew. He thought I knew they were hurting her.
“People are fucked up, man. It’s not because of the way she looks, it’s because of the way she looks next to you.”
I choke on my emotion, and he hears it.
“Hey, you know I’ve got some time off. I can come down.”
“Fuck, Troy, what am I going to do?”
“Love her. That’s all she wants.”
“That’s not a problem.” I’m breaking apart, piece by piece, as I stare at her window.
“Look,” he says on an exhale, “you were there for me when I needed you, and I’m trying to do the same. I’m just asking you to think, okay? Think. Absolutely nothing good can
happen from you going after them now. Get some sleep, man. You’ll get her back tomorrow.”
“Damn,” I run a hand down my face. “Jesus, I’m so fucked.”
“You’re not, it just looks bleak. She’s your reason to fight, always.”
It’s then I crack wide open. Because it’s the truth. It’s the absolute truth.
“I gotta go.”
Harper
“Your girl is fucking ugly.”
He didn’t even hear it. Well, he did, that’s what drew his violent reaction, but he didn’t acknowledge it. The words didn’t resonate because he doesn’t believe it. He’s never believed it. He’s blind to the scrutiny. If I’m honest with myself, it’s one of the things I love so much about him. It’s the only thing that leads me to believe some part of the man I fell for still dwells inside him, but it’s not enough. Not anymore.
Painfully sober, I creep down the hallway, my bag in hand, and push the note to Trevor under his door. It’s going to be impossible to forget this family I’ve fallen so comfortably in love with. It’s only been ten days, but I feel every bit a part of it. I can’t face his parents. I assured Jeannie I wouldn’t hurt him, and there’s a chance I won’t with my leaving. He’s become a stone too hard to penetrate.
I don’t want you anymore!
Who’s the fool?
Yeah, I’m out.
To hell with love. It’s been no picnic. I need my flats and a clear dance floor. I need a martini that doesn’t taste like dish soap. I need to be able to order Chinese at three a.m. I’ve been delusional, this isn’t home. Home is New York. My future is there, and I’ll resume it there.
One agonizing step at a time.
I creep out of the front door, hearing the creek and wince, hoping I can get out undetected. Outside, I make my way to the rental car. I’m at the driver’s door when I realize there’s less than an inch between my bumper and Lance’s truck. I’m trapped. His headlights click on just before his door opens, taking me by surprise. I drop my suitcase, pissed by the ambush.
“Let me out. Right now.”
“Just let me talk to you.” His voice is jagged glass. It’s guilt or sympathy or both, and I want no part of it.
The Underdogs: The Complete Series Page 88
