‘Is this your idea of a joke?’
‘Hardly.’
‘Then you must have run mad. Or—’ and she fixed him with a look of contempt ‘—you are still intent on distressing me and this is part of your plan.’
‘Neither. I am sincere.’
‘You expect me to believe you?’
‘My conduct has been unforgivable, as I’ve confessed. I set out to destroy whatever happiness you thought to snatch from your liaison with Edgerton and I seem pretty much to have succeeded. You know that I regret the pain I’ve caused, but I cannot turn the clock back even if I would.’
She remained standing motionless, silent and bewildered.
‘And I would not turn the clock back, because now you are free,’ he said with something like triumph in his voice. He advanced closer and took both her hands in his. ‘We have both made mistakes, Christy—can we not put them behind us?’
‘I hope we may,’ she replied in a dazed voice, ‘but you need feel no obligation towards me.’
‘It’s not obligation that makes me offer my hand to you in marriage.’ He was finding it difficult to contain his frustration. ‘Benedict tells me that the engagement was cancelled after that fool in there saw you kissing another man. Who else could that be but me?’
‘Benedict is a silly boy. He knows nothing.’
‘But he was right.’
‘The engagement was already in trouble.’ She sighed wearily. ‘The manner in which you chose to say goodbye simply brought it to a swifter conclusion.’
‘It was in trouble because of me. Admit it! It was in trouble because of your feelings for me.’
She said nothing, her beautiful face pale and still. The emerald eyes were downcast and she could not answer him truthfully.
‘You do have feelings for me, Christy, I know.’ He pulled her roughly into his arms, his face buried in the red blaze of her hair.
She pushed him violently away and the green eyes were suddenly shooting fire. ‘And what about your feelings for Domino? How dare you ask me to marry you when you are privately betrothed to her! Is there no shame to which you will not stoop?’
‘Betrothed to her? Of course I’m not betrothed to her. Whatever makes you think any such thing?’
‘You’ve made it abundantly clear over these past weeks that she will be your bride when the time is right. I believe the clubs have even been running wagers on it.’
‘You know as well as I that men will bet on just about anything,’ he returned defensively. This was proving more difficult than he’d ever imagined. ‘There is no betrothal, Christy. I let you believe that I favoured Domino because I wanted to make you jealous.’
‘Are you telling me that you have constantly lied about your relationship with Miss de Silva?’ she said in a voice tipped with steel.
‘I haven’t lied. I never told you that I wished to marry her. I just let you think that I was attracted to her.’
‘Then you lied by default.’
‘You must understand,’ he said desperately, ‘I thought I’d banished you from my heart, but when I met you again that afternoon in the park, I knew that wasn’t true. After all these years, you still took my breath away. You were so beautiful, so desirable. I wanted you for my own and that pompous fool, Edgerton, had you.’
‘And that decided you to practise a loathsome deceit?’
‘You jumped to the wrong conclusion and, yes, I used it against you. I regret doing so, but there were never any serious feelings on my side. I’ve never felt anything but friendship for her.’
‘And Domino, what of her?’ she asked crisply.
For the first time he looked a little shamefaced. ‘A mere adolescent fantasy on her part, but it’s over now.’
‘She is seventeen, Richard, a vulnerable girl, and you took advantage of her to continue a vendetta against me.’
He sighed inwardly; he’d always known that this could be a sticking point. Christabel’s strong sense of justice had not diminished over the years.
‘She’s fine now,’ he tried to reply easily. ‘There’s been no harm done. It was a girlish fancy without substance. I never took advantage of her; I made it clear that I had no interest other than as a friend.’
She was looking shocked and the interview was not going the way he had envisaged.
‘A friend? You stand there and tell me that she never once believed you loved her, that she always knew a serious relationship between you was a mirage!’
It was her turn to stride up and down the library, her mass of auburn curls breaking free from their simple band and tumbling around her face.
‘You have not been a friend to her. You have been devious, cunning, even ruthless. Not only have you destroyed my peace of mind, but you have treated her abominably. And you dare to come here and ask me to ally myself with you!’
‘I thought, hoped, that you had forgiven the mistakes I’ve made these past weeks,’ he said with quiet dignity. ‘When we said goodbye at your sister’s ball, it seemed as though the slate had been wiped clean.’
‘That was before I knew of this further deception. How can I ever trust you?’
Her anguished tone pierced his heart. Abandoning all pretence of dignity, he pleaded with her in a voice husky with longing, ‘Christy, my darling girl, I want you, I need you, please come to me.’
His arms reached out for her, pulling her close, his fingers tracing the delicate white skin of her inner arms until his hands cradled her breasts. She felt herself dissolving slowly, longing for his intimate touch, longing for his mouth to pleasure her again. His lips were caressing her hair now, moving down her neck to her bosom. They were hot and all-consuming. Any moment now she would abandon her paltry resistance. But the image of Domino, happy and innocent, rose before her and she pushed him away with a force that took him by surprise. He staggered back.
‘I must ask you to go,’ she said with as much composure as she could manage, ‘and not return to this house. If by chance we should meet again in the future, I entreat you never to mention this matter.’
‘Christabel, wait!’
In response she strode to the library door, her expression unyielding.
‘Goodbye, Lord Veryan. James will see you out.’
Christabel was left shaken and trembling. She managed to maintain her self-possession until the front door shut behind him, but it cost her dear. She ought to return to the drawing room and pretend that nothing was amiss, but at this moment she could not face Sir Julian and her sister. Instead she made for her room and cast herself face down on the bed in a paroxysm of sobbing.
It was several minutes before she could regain control of herself and dry her tears. She lay staring blankly into space, engulfed by the jangle of warring emotions: the passion she felt for Richard against his duplicity, the chance of happiness against the likelihood of annihilating failure. Her mind circled ceaselessly. Richard must have returned to London within days of arriving home. When he’d heard of her broken engagement, he’d seen his chance and seized it, retracing the weary miles in order to ask her to marry. It was possible that after all the deceptions he was now sincere in his protestations. But his infamy was even greater than she’d imagined. He’d pretended feelings for Domino to further his own ends. He might have been honest with the young girl, but he’d still exploited her. There had never after all been any understanding between the two of them. The jealousy she’d felt at seeing them together came rushing back as an unstoppable torrent. All for nothing. All that pain for nothing. He’d been trifling with her, playing her like a fish on a line. And Domino, too. She could never trust him again.
Richard made his way back to Grosvenor Square, enraged that she had refused to believe him, enraged that for the second time she was turning him down. But most of all he was angry with himself for making such a mull of things. He’d thought that Christabel was bound to have learned the truth about his friendship with Domino after her rescue mission to Dover. He’d been sure that the enforce
d intimacy of their journey would have put her in full possession of the facts and she would know that whatever feelings Domino had for him, they were unrequited. Not so, apparently. She had never doubted his pretence and it was only this afternoon that she’d learned his supposed love for the girl was a sham. She was willing to forgive him much, but not this one harmless deception.
But if he were honest, it had been far from harmless. If she truly loved him, his constant intimacy with Domino would have racked her with jealousy. If she loved him? But she did, she loved him. When she’d gone to Domino’s rescue it had been for his sake as much as for the girl’s. She’d thought his reputation would be compromised and she’d not been able to contemplate seeing him hurt and once more the subject of gossip and innuendo. She loved him, he could swear. He hugged the thought to himself, allowing it to flood his body with a powerful energy. He wanted to go back to Mount Street that instant, to hammer on the door, force his way in and simply scoop her up in his arms and tell her that they were wasting time, that they were made for each other and always had been, that he wanted her now and could not wait another minute to claim back his own. In his mind he was with her again, encircling her lithe form in a crushing embrace, imprinting her pale, soft skin with urgent lips, entangling himself in a sheet of fiery curls.
He had reached Grosvenor Square and vaulted lightly up the front stairs to the open doorway. York tan gloves were thrown carelessly on to the battered cherrywood table and a caped greatcoat landed in the arms of the waiting footman. He strode purposefully into his study, calling for coffee to be brought immediately. He had a good deal of thinking to do if he were to win back the woman he loved. He was barred from Mount Street, and trying to thrust his way into the house would do nothing to endear him; he would need to be a great deal more subtle than that. Yet he had to see her, try to make her understand that his dissembling over Domino had been no more serious than the rest of his foolish actions. He must surprise her, create a situation where she was unable easily to escape and compel her to listen to all he wanted to say. He sat down to lay his plans carefully.
Chapter Ten
In the event he could think of nothing else but to intercept her at a time when she was without company and would not be expecting to see him. He knew from the past that she enjoyed riding alone with a single groom whenever she could and he was hopeful that she always hired a hack from the same stables. By dint of a few enquiries he had soon run to ground the mews she patronized, just around the corner from Mount Street. A cheeky stable boy, sufficiently greased in the palm, had let slip the information that a mare had been booked for Miss Tallis the following day. Further largesse elicited the news that the Tallis groom had mentioned his mistress was wishful of enjoying a change of scenery on the morrow and likely to ride in the exclusive but largely unfinished Regent’s Park. This had suited Richard’s purpose well since there was a good covering of trees running close to the bridle path and he would be able to wait for her unseen by all but the most observant passers-by. The weather had favoured him, too. After recent days of high winds and squally showers, the sun had returned the next morning and he rode out into the balmy air with an excited sense of anticipation.
He arrived at his chosen meeting place close on eleven o’clock. Several groups of people passed by the cluster of trees he sheltered beneath: nursemaids wheeling out their charges to take the morning air, a dowager scolding her companion mercilessly as they made their slow way along the footpath, a lone horseman putting his new mount through its paces. But otherwise the park was remarkably quiet, ideal for the forthcoming encounter. He hadn’t long to wait until her trim figure hove into view, the groom keeping a respectful distance behind. She looked sublime in a tight-fitting costume of forest green cloth decorated with golden epaulettes and half-braided sleeves. A tall crowned hat with curled ostrich feathers completed the ensemble. Whatever inner turmoil was ravaging Christabel, the world would see only the fashionable woman they knew well.
As she came abreast of Richard’s shelter, he wheeled his mount on to the path in front of her and forced her to come to a sudden halt. The groom moved up anxiously, but she waved him away with her hand. Whatever this ambush was about, she did not want Stebbings to hear.
‘A beautiful morning, Miss Tallis.’ Richard doffed his curly brimmed beaver, revealing fashionably dishevelled locks. The riding coat he wore was moulded tightly across his powerful shoulders and the palest fawn breeches encased his shapely legs. Gleaming top boots from Hoby and a freshly pressed neckcloth proclaimed him a gentleman of substance. He looked superb and she had to exert every nerve to detach her mind from the impulses of her traitorous body.
The two riders faced each other, their horses gently sidling to and fro until Christabel’s mare, growing restive at the lack of action, began pawing irritably at the ground, almost unseating her in its efforts to be gone. Instinctively he grabbed at her bridle and brought their two mounts together. She thought she saw a paleness beneath the lean, tanned cheeks and his grey eyes were crystal clear and piercingly alive. It was as though this was the determining moment of his life.
Attempting to break the tension, she spoke with a boldness she did not feel. ‘Good day to you, Lord Veryan. I hope you’re enjoying this fine morning. May I ask that you allow me to do so, too?’
Her cold politeness did not daunt him; he retained his hand on her bridle.
‘This is crazy. We should not have to meet like this, Christy.’
‘The name is Miss Tallis, and you are quite correct, Lord Veryan, we should not. If you would be so good as to release my horse, I will be on my way.’
‘Christabel, Miss Tallis, please hear me out. I apologise for accosting you in this fashion, but I’ve been unable to think of any other way to speak to you. I’ll take only a small amount of your time but you must listen to me!’
Stebbings, seated on his mount a few yards distant, appeared increasingly anxious and she sensed that he was getting ready to intervene. The last thing she wanted was any kind of brawl in a public place. Swiftly she dismounted and threw her reins to the groom.
‘I shall be back in ten minutes, Stebbings. Please walk the horses until I return.’
‘Yes, ma’am, if you’re sure,’ he replied uncertainly.
She nodded and strode towards the shelter of the trees. Richard dismounted and followed her.
‘What is it you wish to say?’ she demanded, turning to face him, her tone uncompromising.
All his prepared speeches were once again forgotten. He could think only of possessing the woman that he loved.
‘Simply that we are made to be together. You must know that.’
‘I know nothing of the sort.’
‘You’re not being honest, Christabel, either with yourself or with me. Surely we deserve that of each other.’
‘I cannot believe you have the temerity to speak to me of honesty! How much honesty have you shown these past few weeks?’
He made no reply and she continued with barely a pause, ‘I will answer for you. None. Since your return to England, you have waged a vendetta against me. You have been ingenious, leaving no avenue unvisited. Not content with destroying my plans to marry, you have shamelessly exploited a young girl’s feelings in order to hurt me. I think you will agree that you have been thoroughly dishonest and succeeded admirably.’
Her voice was metallic and her eyes pools of emerald ice. She was desperate to harden herself against him, to build a protective shell even at this late hour.
Her clear tones sliced through the air. ‘Take pleasure in what you have done, for there is nothing more. You have disrupted my life and made me as deeply unhappy as you could possibly wish.’
His dismay that she could think so badly of him forced him to defend himself. ‘You must know that has not been my desire. All I want is to make you happy. I’ve said I’m truly sorry. I cannot do more.’
She looked stonily into the distance and, exasperated by her obstinacy, he spoke what was up
permost in his mind. ‘I accept I’ve caused suffering, but consider also that I’ve done some good.’
‘What!’
‘You say that you and Edgerton found you were not suited. And why is that? Because you discovered that you were suited to another man. If it were not for me, you would be contemplating a very unhappy marriage.’
She looked scornfully at him, but he would not be silenced. ‘You may deny it, but you know that it’s true. And whatever stupidities we’ve committed, we belong together.’
‘As you belonged together with Miss de Silva?’ she asked waspishly.
‘I’ve been honourable and straightforward in my dealings with her. You have to believe me. I would never deliberately set out to harm a young and inexperienced girl.’
The expression on her face told him that she was very far from believing him and he burst out in frustration, ‘You know what young girls are like, Christabel, they enmesh themselves in ridiculous dreams which are a million miles away from reality.’
‘Yes, I do know what young girls are like. Who better? I was one once, remember, and thanks to another man my ridiculous dream almost crushed my heart. I survived—just—and now you’ve come close to crushing it a second time. But I won’t allow you to succeed.’
Her face was pale, and though she remained standing tall and proud before him he knew she was in a state of agitation. Her breath was short and irregular and the smooth curve of her breasts rose and fell with emotion. He longed to reach out to her, pull her close to him and let their bodies end the argument.
‘I want to win your heart, not crush it,’ he said urgently. ‘Despite all that’s happened, maybe because of all that’s happened, I know I can make you happy. We have tested each other to the limit and we’ve survived. Our love will be fierce and strong and enduring. Give it a chance, Christabel,’ he urged. ‘Take a chance.’
‘I cannot.’ In an instant she seemed visibly to shrink into herself. ‘I’ve already suffered too much and all I want now is to be left in peace. Leave me that at least.’
The Earl Plays With Fire Page 19
