by Susan Fox
How long could she put off marrying Logan? Now that she felt at least a little less leery about the boy being around him, her worries about being around Logan herself were growing.
Again she wondered how on earth she’d be able to tolerate even holding his hand, much less allowing full intimacy. Though he’d left her no choice, it didn’t seem quite honest to accept his marriage proposal when she wasn’t even marginally attracted to him.
Perhaps she could find something about Logan that she considered personally attractive. She thought again about sharing a bed with him and felt that same quiver of sexual peril, only this time, it didn’t feel half as objectionable as it had.
A little unsettled by that, Claire finished in the guest room, and went back to Cody’s room. He’d managed to scatter toys all over the carpet around the toy box, so she helped him pick them up.
They found Logan in the den, but when Claire saw he was using the phone, she and Cody remained standing in the hall to give him privacy. The moment he saw them waiting, he finished the call.
Since Logan had mentioned showing Cody a pony, Claire had changed out of her sandals into her sneakers. She’d only visited a ranch a few times, but she knew enough about them to be certain she wouldn’t want to wear sandals too far away from the house.
Logan crossed the room to them and Cody edged a little behind Claire. She couldn’t blame the boy. Logan’s size was still something she found difficult to adjust to. It wasn’t only that he was tall, but he looked powerful and strong. He was lean, but every bit of him was solid with muscle. The kind of men she usually saw looked soft by comparison. And common.
Though she didn’t consider Logan handsome, he had a male charisma that made him a standout. His macho look merely added to that. She felt so small and completely feminine by comparison that her stomach began to flutter with an odd attraction, and she felt a ripple of dismay.
“Think the boy’s ready to see the pony?”
Claire tried to smile, but it felt stiff. “I’m sure he’ll love that.”
Logan looked down at Cody. “How ’bout we go see your pony, son?”
Cody had been holding Claire’s hand with both of his, and Logan’s sudden focus on him made him bashfully hide his face behind her hand.
Claire felt a spark of sympathy. The man couldn’t help that he was big and had a harsh, intimidating look. And he was clearly trying to be kind to the boy. Cody’s reaction suddenly made her feel embarrassed enough for Logan to try to help.
“Your uncle Logan would like to take you to see a pony. That’s a very sweet thing for him to do, Cody. Wouldn’t you like to go?”
The boy gave a small nod, but still used her hand as a shield. She gave Logan an apologetic look. “He’s not trying to be rude. He’ll be entirely different once he knows you better.”
It surprised her that Logan didn’t seem convinced. In fact, he looked at her in a way that hinted at mistrust, and she felt offended by that. Did he think she was influencing the child not to like him?
“I reckon we might as well go on out,” he said, then started down the hall to lead the way through the house.
They ended up in a kitchen large enough to land a small plane in, and every surface was immaculate. Logan crossed to the wall pegs beside the back door and took down a black Stetson before he glanced back at them and reached to open the door.
He waited for them to walk out ahead of him, then he followed and closed the door. Once they were on the back patio, he walked on the other side of Cody.
“Sneakers are fine for the city or the house, but you and the boy’ll need boots. Hats, too, and some sturdy clothes. Don’t bother with tourist stuff.”
Claire glanced his way briefly but he added nothing more enlightening so she let her gaze stray back toward their destination. The headquarters seemed gigantic, and she had no idea which building or barn was which. The network of corrals was laid out in neat precision.
Though there were many large shade trees crowded nearer the house, they gradually thinned out as they walked on. The creek to the east in the distance was marked by a line of trees, but the whole place was like an oasis compared to the miles of empty rangeland around it.
The air still carried much of the heat of the day, but it seemed cooler out here than in the cement-surround of the city, perhaps by a good ten degrees. Dust still hung in the air that also carried the sounds and smells of cattle and horses.
All of which seemed huge and potentially dangerous to Claire as she and Cody walked with Logan past a few on their way down one of the alleys that bisected the pens. Claire was so accustomed to seeing cattle and horses from the safe distance of the highway that this close up look was unnerving.
In the corral to their right were horses who looked so big that their shod hooves appeared to be the size of dinner plates. The cows in some of the pens on the left looked huge and heavy and intimidating.
Claire was suddenly worried, not for herself, but for the very small boy who was taking it all in with eyes that were round with awe. And since Cody was so very small, the animals must have seemed even more monster-sized to him. Claire made certain she had a firm grip on his hand. Beside them, Logan walked confidently, though he’d had to shorten his long stride considerably to accommodate the child.
For the first time Claire realized Logan wasn’t such a giant out here. This was the world he worked in every day, and his larger than life stature fit perfectly. Now his ruggedness made him seem equal to the challenge of large animals and potentially dangerous situations. There was still plenty about him that overwhelmed her, but suddenly she was glad he seemed so rough and tough.
There was something reassuring about Logan, something that suggested a level of protection and competence that could ward off danger and overcome difficulty. He’d lived here all his life, and no doubt he could handle anything that came along. He’d certainly be able to assert a greater level of control over it all than she’d ever be able to.
The tender-skinned little hand in hers made Claire realize why she was pondering all this. Cody would grow up here, and she was absolutely certain that Logan would require the boy’s almost constant involvement with everything to do with the ranch and ranch work.
But from what age? Two? She’d heard stories for years about children only a little older than Cody actually riding full-grown horses. For Claire, an optimum age for Cody to be out in all this and at risk with large animals would be…ten. Ideally, twenty-one seemed the most agreeable.
Something told her that Logan meant to start the boy far sooner than age ten. Suddenly she knew that this little walk was the actual beginning of Cody’s quick immersion into ranch life. The pony was merely the excuse to start right into the first stage.
And because Logan seemed to have almost no experience with small children, he probably didn’t understand that Cody needed extra protection from the hazards of the very life he meant for the boy to live.
Claire didn’t want this child anywhere near these monstrous animals without her constant supervision. And if Logan Pierce thought he was going to immerse this precious little boy in anything more risky than his nightly tub bath, he’d have to change his plan. She’d see to that.
They stopped at one of the corrals, which Claire at first thought was empty. Logan unlatched the gate and waited for her and Cody to go in ahead of him. Once inside, Claire saw the pony on the other side of a large water tank. She’d expected something only a little bigger than a large dog, but the pony was larger than she’d expected.
It had a dappled gray hide and a flowing white mane and tail. She had a scant moment to enjoy the sight of the pretty animal before it suddenly started in their direction at a trot.
Then the trot switched to a gallop and the pony gave a high bucking kick, which gave the impression of a rodeo bronc. If that wasn’t bad enough, the little powerhouse charged straight at them.
Because Logan didn’t immediately react to that, she suddenly realized she’d taken his prote
ctiveness for granted. What good was Logan’s rough and tough size if he didn’t realize the danger? Because she did, Claire instantly snatched up Cody and pivoted to flee.
And crashed into Logan. Even more startled, Claire tried to move to the side and crowd behind his big body for refuge, but Logan’s strong arms came tightly around both her and the boy to hold them immovable.
Alarmed, Claire glanced over her shoulder in time to see the pony skid to a halt just behind her.
Cody’s excited shriek, “Pony!” further rattled her, but she realized a second later that it wasn’t a shriek of fear but one of boyish delight.
Logan’s voice was gravelly and low, but there was no mistaking his displeasure. “What the hell’s this about?”
Claire looked up into his harsh face and saw the snap of anger in his dark eyes. He released her to neatly pull the wiggling boy from her arms. Claire reached belatedly for Cody, but there was no way to reclaim him without getting into a tug of war.
Logan stepped past her with the boy and set him on the ground in front of the pony before he hunkered down to supervise the introduction. Cody was all but dancing in place with excitement. The pony tossed its head, and Claire reflexively reached toward the boy.
Logan must have caught her sudden move in his side vision because he turned his head to look up at her.
“If you can’t keep outta this, get out of the pen,” he growled, and Claire felt his rebuke like a slap. Anger and acute shame scorched her face and she forced herself to stay quiet, her fists clenched in readiness to protect Cody if the pony gave any hint of a dangerous move.
Claire thought she’d outgrown her fear of horses, but it was obvious now that she hadn’t. Her strong feelings of protectiveness toward Cody had only heightened the old fear, and Claire was belatedly aware that her overreaction had been completely uncalled for.
The pony was actually very gentle with the little boy, as if he understood there was a difference between a small child and an adult. Claire tried to relax and remind herself that Logan was certainly big enough and experienced enough to protect Cody, but she couldn’t seem to help that she was still shaking.
Logan coached the boy to stroke the inquisitive pony’s nose and Claire cringed, vowing to intervene if the pony tried to bite. Instead, the pony eased a little closer as if it enjoyed the attention. It appeared remarkably calm and mild-mannered now.
A few moments of that and Logan slowly rose to his full height, lifting the boy as he did. Before Claire realized what he was about to do, Logan promptly set Cody on the pony’s sleek back.
Claire bit her lip painfully, so anxious about this that it was all she could do to keep silent. The pony had no halter, no bridle, and there was no rope. So when Logan took his hands away from Cody and let the boy balance on the pony’s back, anchored there only by his little fingers gripping the pony’s mane, she couldn’t prevent her protest.
“Don’t—please don’t let him fall.”
Logan gave every appearance of ignoring her. Cody was grinning hugely, and before Claire realized what would happen next, Logan placed his hand under the pony’s jaw and walked away with him.
Leading and controlling the pony with nothing more than a loose grip!
Claire started to follow then made herself stop, suddenly worried about startling the animal. She watched like a hawk as Logan calmly led the pony across the corral, keeping careful track of the boy before turning at the fence to lead the pony along the rails. Claire tried to calm herself as she listened to Logan coach the boy to sit up straighter and squeeze the pony’s sides with his legs.
Cody not only managed to stay on, he was crowing with pleasure and excitement. He did try to squeeze the pony’s sides with his legs, but then he’d get excited and drum his heels against the pony until Logan again corrected him.
Logan didn’t stop until he’d led the pony around the corral three times. Claire was certain she’d barely breathed during that time. She literally couldn’t calm down, not even when Logan reached the gate and lifted Cody off the pony to stand him on the ground.
She finally made her legs move, dismayed that they were shaky and weak. She was still frightened but now she was so deeply ashamed of herself that this was easily the biggest humiliation of her adult life.
Until they’d come to the corral, Logan had seemed awkward with Cody, but there’d been no awkwardness just now. Logan had handled it all masterfully. He certainly knew what he was doing, and it was easy to conclude that Cody had been perfectly safe the entire time. The pony was obviously well-trained and Logan had been in complete control of both the animal and the little boy.
Cody’s high-pitched, “No! I wanna ride! More ride!” was a signal that Cody had lost his bashfulness with his uncle.
Truth to tell, Logan had neatly won Cody over the moment he’d put the boy on the pony, and Claire felt a nick of hurt. And Cody’s surprising, very vocal tantrum now prompted her to realize that nothing she’d ever done or provided for Cody had elicited as much enthusiasm as the pony—or this much defiance when it was taken away.
Cody’s little face was a mutinous red and his cheeks were streaked with fat tears.
“No, no, no! I wanna ride!” he went on as Logan calmly turned the pony away.
Logan chuckled and lifted Cody off the ground to swing him up onto his arm.
“That’s enough ridin’ for one night, son,” he said, untroubled that Cody was howling and that his sneakered toes pummeled Logan’s hip in protest.
The big man walked leisurely to the gate and unlatched it as calmly as if Cody were quietly riding on his arm instead of throwing a world-class tantrum. Claire hurried along after them and managed to squeeze through the opening just before Logan absently closed the gate.
Everything in Logan’s body language announced that he was completely ignoring her, and the way he’d just closed the gate without even pausing for her to walk through suggested that he’d forgotten she was tagging along, though she knew he hadn’t forgotten her for a moment.
Sick with humiliation and regret over her earlier overreaction, Claire pretended not to notice the slight. Perhaps there was a way to somehow smooth things over, some way to appear less cowardly.
Logan was unhappy with her, and she realized even more fully the consequences of what had happened at the corral. He was a rancher who probably loved his outdoor lifestyle. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that he would insist on raising Cody to be the same.
But having a chickenhearted wife would complicate his plans for the boy. His order to leave the corral if she couldn’t “keep out of this” explained the reason he completely ignored her now, and also let her know that he was not only disgusted with her but possibly furious.
Though she’d already decided to do everything she could to prevent Logan from exposing Cody to the dangers presented by large animals, her upset over the pony was proof—even to her—that she was leery even in less hazardous situations.
Claire couldn’t quite appreciate the irony of hoping to find a way to delay their marriage when there was every chance now that Logan would take back his proposal.
Halfway to the house, Cody’s protests wound down. As if things weren’t already upsetting enough and completely out of her control, the little boy laid his head sweetly on Logan’s shoulder.
Claire sensed that Cody had accepted the big man and she felt her heart clench with pain and raw jealousy. How easily Logan had accomplished it, despite his inexperience with children. As powerless and desperate as she’d felt before over losing to Logan in court and then being blackmailed into marriage, nothing compared with the powerlessness and desperation—and the sense of loss—she felt now.
Another glimpse of Logan’s harsh profile set off a new wave of anxiety, and Claire walked on resolutely at his side, heartsick.
The sight of Cody’s dark head resting so trustingly on Logan’s shoulder confirmed the worst thing of all—that Logan Pierce had just stolen the heart of the person she loved mos
t in the world.
CHAPTER FIVE
CLAIRE positively loathed people who punished with silence. There was nothing more unsettling than being balanced on the razor edge of the worries and the insecurities that silences dealt to their victims. As far as she was concerned, silence was a cruel and dishonest way to handle a disagreement.
But what aggravated her more than anything was that she wasn’t certain how wise she would be to challenge Logan on it. If anyone else had given her the silent treatment, she wouldn’t have tolerated it. But since Cody had so quickly gotten over his bashfulness with the big man, Logan might not need her any more to help facilitate his relationship with the boy.
The fact that she’d managed to land on Logan’s bad side so soon made her worry that he’d cancel his marriage proposal, or would the next time she made a wrong move.
Hence her chastened silence as she gave Cody his bath then read to him before his uncle came in to tell him goodnight and solemnly supervised as Claire tucked the boy in the baby bed.
She’d already realized that she’d have to walk on eggshells for however long it took to actually marry the man and complete all the legal steps to adopt Cody. It just hadn’t occurred to her that Logan would be quite this unreasonable, though she should have expected this. Tyrants practiced a number of excesses when faced with less than absolute compliance with their dictates.
He had yet to say one word to her directly, but in the interest of good will, she’d politely informed him earlier about the details of Cody’s nightly routine. First that it was time for the boy’s bath, and that she’d read to him a bit afterward before his general bedtime of eight-thirty, so Logan would know when to come to Cody’s room to tell him good night.
Now that she’d finished with everything and they’d both got through the goodnight ritual with Cody, they stepped into the quiet hall. The moment of reckoning was swiftly approaching. However careful Claire was about riling Logan again, there was no way she’d tolerate letting the night go by without a definite resolution.
