by Mark Horn
2. (Cups) How do you recognize and own your own projections in relationships? When facing the emotional challenge of reconciling the real person versus your projections, what do you do to make sure your Love Endures?
3. (Swords) What defenses do you habitually use to avoid inner or outer connection? Why do you think these defenses Endure? What can you do to weaken them? Do you recognize any of the dynamics in this card pairing as active in your life? Or does this pairing reveal another personal dynamic that is calling out to be recognized and reconciled? How can you do that?
4. (Pentacles) If you are working at a job that you don’t Love, how else can you channel your Chesed in the workplace? If you’re using work and the need for money to defend yourself from feeling the Flow, why are you doing this? And what can you do to restore Flow and Love in this situation?
Day 23: Gevurah of Netzach
Endurance Requires Discipline
Today is the twenty-third day of the Omer, which is three weeks and two days of the Omer.
What’s the difference between a spiritual discipline and a spiritual practice? I think of it this way: When I am at a morning service reciting prayers, I am working on one of my spiritual practices. When I get out of bed every morning at 6:00 a.m. for months on end to be at the prayer service, that’s a spiritual discipline. And clearly, it is a Discipline of Endurance.
When all the voices in my head are saying, “Stay in bed,” especially when there is freezing rain or snow outside, the Gevurah in me, my Discipline, is what gives me the strength to Endure the cold. Some days I want to run out of the service halfway through. Discipline keeps me in my seat.
During a ten-day Vipassana meditation retreat, meditators are asked to follow a code of Discipline, part of which is the daily schedule of meditation from 4:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. Eventually, we learn Endurance by sitting for certain periods of time without any movement whatsoever, by simply sitting and watching the mind’s reaction to the body’s sensations with equanimity. It sounds painful, and it can truly be painful. But it can also lead to a transcendence of pain and an understanding that sees through suffering in a way that is freeing. In this situation, it is the Discipline that gives Endurance its strength.
There is a short Hasidic tale that illustrates this:
A Hasid decided to undertake a fast from one Sabbath to the next. Only a few hours before the fast was to end, he thought he was going to die if he didn’t at least take a drink of water. It so happened that he was on his way to his rabbi’s home when he saw a well, so even though he had taken a vow of fasting, he went to the well to take a drink. Just as he was about to bring the water to his lips, he realized he had less than an hour left to endure his suffering. He had endured so long already, so he decided he couldn’t give up now and break his vow. He centered himself in his Netzach and started to walk away from the well without drinking.
All of a sudden, he was filled with a delicious tingling: he was feeling pride that he had kept his vow. Except now he was tempted by feelings of superiority and pride. He could not let himself be seduced by pride. For a moment, he stood stock still, not knowing what to do. Then he chose to take the drink of water, deciding this would be better than falling prey to feelings of moral superiority. So he turned back to the well, but just as he brought the ladle of water to his mouth, his thirst completely disappeared.
So may we all learn to free ourselves from both desire and pride through Discipline in Endurance, clear sight, and compassion.
Day 23: Gevurah of Netzach in Atzilut
The Five and Seven of Wands
_________within_________
Does the Five of Wands represent choreography or chaos? Does it show the beginning of an Organized building project or the middle of a fight? Are the people in the card engaging in a Structured competition, such as a sport? If that’s the case, what looks chaotic is really Organized by specific rules that keep things from becoming dangerous. How you respond to this card colors your experience of Gevurah of Netzach in Atzilut.
If we look at the people in the Five of Wands as being Organized, then the result should be Enduring. But if we see them as a group that’s divided among themselves, with each wanting to have his or her own way, the outcome undermines the possibility of anything that Endures.
Creating a story from the two images, we could imagine that the man on the far left in the Five of Wands has raised his staff as though he wants to lead or control the others. But once he gets their attention, they turn on him so that he becomes the man facing off against a line of staves arrayed against him in the Seven of Wands. It’s as though by trying to Organize and take Control of the group he unites them, but not in the way he intended, since they unite in opposition to him. In this case, the controlling, shadow side of Gevurah turns the energy of Netzach against it.
How could this play out within our own character as an inner dynamic? It’s as though the rigidity of the inner control freak wants to stamp out the frequently messy process of innovative thinking. Of course, this can play out between people too.
The Five of Wands could also be a commentary on the quality and motivation for one’s Endurance. It could be a Determined inner response to the experience of “dis-Organization” and lack of Structure—inside or out. I have a friend who grew up in a particularly chaotic environment; his mother lived in Haight-Ashbury in the sixties, and he had many half-siblings from different fathers. It was a highly disorganized “hippie” lifestyle. This affected his character so that when he turned eighteen, he chose to live in one of the most highly organized and structured environments, one designed to test and strengthen a person’s Endurance: he joined the armed forces. And it was an excellent choice for him, since it grounded him in a Discipline that was in contrast to his life growing up.
As you play with the key words for this pairing, you may find other combinations more relevant for you. Discernment in Endurance suggests recognizing when to keep going and when to let go. Limits in Ambition could indicate an issue with understanding how one’s determined pursuit of a goal can affect relationships. Ambition also suggests a desire to lead, possibly as the sole leader, while the image in the Five of Wands contrasts this desire with a more consensus-based style of leadership, where vigorous discussion is part of the process. The sheer gusto of Netzach can be off-putting to others. Someone with a lot of Netzach often has a big personality that Dominates the room, just as we expect the man facing off his opponents in the Seven of Wands will Dominate them. A strong Netzach personality can be both enlivened and contained by the Structured competition of the Five of Wands. Is this your personality? Do you know someone like this? How does your understanding of these energies guide you in this relationship?
Day 23: Gevurah of Netzach in B’riah
The Five and Seven of Cups
_________within_________
With the Five of Cups, Limits are always in the picture. If we think of the Seven of Cups as Ambition, then the cards can be a commentary on what happens when you have a lot of unfocused goals. Certainly, there will be some success. But as some of the goals are met, a Focus on achieving more can lead to losing what’s been gained. There’s a recognition here that there’s a Limit on what you can achieve, that you can’t have everything you want even if you are Focused on your goals. A healthy acceptance of Limitation can help Focus you on goals that are not only achievable, but that will also be Enduring.
Because I’ve worked as a creative director in the advertising industry and the suit of Cups includes creativity in its constellation of meanings, I could interpret the message in the Seven of Cups as being that imagination and creativity are Limitless. But when your Focus is on the past, on what’s been lost or on ideas that don’t work, you lose the flow of creativity. I can hear my introjected therapist telling me to make “I” statements. So I will.
I can recall many times when I’ve found it hard to let go of an idea that was rejected by a supervisor or a client. And when that happened, I tended to get
rigid in my thinking, and that affected my ability to come up with new ideas. Nothing strangles the creative process like rigid thinking.
The effect of rigid Gevurah thinking in Netzach is that it can transform the positive quality of Perseverance into its shadow quality, stubbornness. In the Five of Cups, there is a lack of Discernment; the figure cloaked in black can’t see the big picture. And this lack of Discernment affects the figure in the Seven of Cups, for without Discernment, he is unable to choose a goal and Persevere in reaching it. Everything is pie in the sky.
Of course, you can read the Five of Cups as the Discernment that comes after having made a mistake and regretting it. It can be about acknowledging the negative results of having made bad choices. And because the Seven of Cups can be read as one of the negative sides of Netzach, we can see the image as relating to temptations that have led to dissipation (no Perseverance) and/or addictive patterns (Tenacity applied to problematic behaviors or substances).
The issue here, though, is that while there is regret and sadness over making bad choices, there is no movement away from those choices.
This is the negativity of an inner Judge without the Determination to change. If you’ve ever heard someone say something like, “I wish I could stop doing ______, but I’m just a screwup and can’t get anything right,” then you’re in the presence of one of the shadow manifestations of Gevurah of Netzach. This is a particularly difficult dynamic to come out of because of the deep-seated self-Judgment. But the first step is awareness. If you see this dynamic at work in your life, the day to start working on breaking it is today. It won’t be over in a day. But making a strong Determination to break free of it on the twenty-third day gives you the extra energy from the positive expressions of these Sephirot to do the work that needs to be done.
Day 23: Gevurah of Netzach in Yetzirah
The Five and Seven of Swords
_________within_________
In this pairing, we come face-to-face with some of the uglier tendencies of the human heart. The negative side of Gevurah expressed in the Five of Swords is the extreme opposite of the loving “Boundary-lessness” of Chesed. Here the Boundary stops at the outer level of one’s skin, because for the person in the Five of Swords, that is the only Boundary that matters. This is someone for whom the only motivation for anything is self-interest, regardless of rules or Laws. And any actions that serve this self-interest are right.
In the Seven of Swords, we see negative Netzach at work, with someone who is running away from obligations and responsibilities. When faced with a test of Endurance, this is someone who takes the first opportunity to leave. And he’s not only leaving others behind, but he’s also making off with their swords—leaving them relatively defenseless. And he does this without guilt, because his highest value is the self-interest of negative Gevurah.
Taken together, this is the card pairing of the traitor. A mole in the CIA. An elected official whose only motivation is graft and greed. A sexual predator who is only interested in their own satisfaction and has no care whatsoever for the other except as an object of satisfaction. In a marriage, this could be someone who is a serial cheater or someone who is willing to force himself sexually on his partner.
A person who lives this way is a sociopath. But because this is the suit of Swords and the world of Yetzirah, it doesn’t have to be about someone who acts this way in the world. This combination asks us to look within and consider whether we have ever had thoughts like this. We may never have acted them out, but we may have entertained revenge fantasies that include this kind of nasty action.
So is there any way of looking at these cards and this combination in a positive way? I think they can offer guidance when one is caught in the influence of the negative expressions of these Sephirot. Rather than looking within, it can be time to look around: Are you in a situation where your Boundaries are not respected? Where you are being asked to take on too much responsibility, or where someone else’s shirking of responsibility means more work falls on your shoulders? Have you helped this along by being agreeable and not drawing a line in the sand marking your Limits? These cards can be a warning of a dynamic that victimizes you. And if it’s a dynamic that feels familiar in your life—a pattern that has repeated a couple of times—then it’s also time to ask whether something in you is attracted to this situation.
Think of the story of the ancient Israelites. They did not become slaves to the Egyptians overnight. Their bondage happened slowly and by degrees, so that each degradation could be excused or played down until one day an entire people lost their agency. We’ve seen this happen to individuals, and we’ve seen it happen to other groups in our world. It can happen in a society, in an organization, or even in a family. And if it’s happening to you, these cards are a message: get out now. The process of Counting the Omer is learning to set yourself free of all kinds of enslavements and learning to take on spiritual responsibility. If these cards depict your Egypt, it’s time for your Exodus.
Day 23: Gevurah of Netzach in Assiyah
The Five and Seven of Pentacles
_________within_________
My father was a child of the Great Depression. In those days, with landlords struggling to find tenants, apartments were sometimes offered with two months’ rent free. His family would move in, and then just before the two free months were up, they would move out in the middle of the night. More than just once. This meant his early education was often interrupted. He left high school to fight in World War II and never went back to get his degree. So he was a high school dropout, and opportunity to succeed in the world felt closed off to him. When I was a child, I didn’t understand that my family was struggling financially. But it weighed heavily on my father, and it wore down his self-esteem.
Sometimes when I look at the Five of Pentacles, I think about my father’s experience, how he would stand over my bed when I was a child and repeat like a mantra, “You’re going to go to college.” When I did go to college, it felt like the distance between us grew; I had entered a world that was barred to him, just as the two people in the snow outside the church are excluded from the warmth and comfort inside.
But like the man in the Seven of Pentacles, he was a hard worker and he Persevered. His businesses never succeeded in the way that he’d hoped. In fact, many times he was on the edge of failure. But through it all, he saved what little he could. And he invested this money, never touching it, so that when he retired, he was surprised to discover that he could live comfortably and without the economic worry that had been his constant companion.
He was a man of Limited means and education. Despite his shame about this, he became Disciplined and Determined to provide his family with a better life and greater opportunities. And ultimately, he succeeded.
Some people use the Limits life has placed on them as an excuse to stay on the outside. Some use these Limits as the fuel that fires their Determination to change their situation.
There’s a kind of “I’ll show you” attitude at work here. If you’re told you’ll never amount to much, you might accept that story and make it come true. Or you could challenge it and come out on top.
Of course, sometimes when you get to the top it doesn’t really satisfy. That’s when Five of Pentacles–type thinking claws its way back into one’s consciousness with a story that no matter how well you succeed, you’re not really deserving, or that your success could be taken away at any time. Or perhaps you have worked to escape the story of Limitation only to find that while you’ve succeeded financially, it feels hollow because you’ve neglected your soul in some way.
Today is a day to look at where you’ve put your Focus and Determination, to consider your motivations and take stock. Determine whether you’re on the right course, and either renew your energy or change direction. Consider how invested you are in your decisions and choices and determine whether you’re unwilling to review them. Because Determination can be either a virtue or a hindrance.
Que
stions for reflection and contemplation: Day 23
1. (Wands) Does your Endurance come from a grounding in Organization and Discipline, or is it a reaction to disorganization and chaos? How does this color the character of your Endurance?
2. (Cups) Do you have a bad habit that you’ve tried to break in the past but failed? If so, examine its origin, create a Structured plan to set yourself free of it, and then make a strong Determination to follow this plan.
3. (Swords) Have you ever betrayed someone out of self-interest? If so, reflect on this and write about whether you have changed or how you would act differently in this situation today. If you are currently or ever have been in a situation where you’ve been taken advantage of in this way, reflect on how you might have colluded in this and what you can do to escape this dynamic now.
4. (Pentacles) Consider your financial goals: What motivates them? How good are you in Persevering to reach these goals? When you reach a milestone, are you satisfied or do you feel that something might be missing? What is your relationship to financial Limitations and the Limits of financial success to solve your problems?
Day 24: Tiferet of Netzach
Finding Compassion in Victory
Today is the twenty-fourth day of the Omer, which is three weeks and three days of the Omer.
How does one keep an open Heart in a state of Determination? Being Resolute suggests closing down in a way, white-knuckling your way through something unpleasant. Gritting your teeth and bearing it. Yet today is about doing quite the opposite, feeling Compassion for one’s own suffering as one Endures and using that Compassion as fuel for your Fortitude. It’s also a day for learning to be patient with those one is often impatient with. When you open to the feelings underneath impatience in a kind of reflective meditation, you can come to an understanding of its origin and then soothe it with Compassion.
