“Our first mission will be just under a year, and then I am scheduled to take residence in the Guyler Estate, which is not far from here,” Willis explained. “We can make arrangements to visit, or we can keep distance. It shall be up to you, as you are the Ladyship.” He added a bow to her. “I will just leave the address of my mentor with your maid, then.” And he excused himself.
The numbness returned as Veria stared at the dying fire in the kitchen. She stripped down to nothing and made her way back to Andon's quarters, and slipped herself into his bed, under the rough blanket, and cried softly. Never had she felt so much happiness, only to be shortly followed by the most pain she had ever suffered. And if she had the choice, she would give them both up, so she never had to feel this way again.
-X-
Many days, possibly weeks, passed in a blur of spending most of the waking hours drifting in and out of sleep, and most of the nighttime hours wandering around the house and playing with spices in the kitchen.
Tanisca, presumably fearing her daughter's new abilities, chose not to speak to Veria at all. This delighted Veria, and it was her only source of joy.
Veria was not sure exactly when she started to let go of some of her anger, but she found herself slowly coming to terms with the fact that if she and Andon were to have some catastrophic future, than this situation was possibly the best. It saddened her to think of it that way, and her heart raced as she lamented how wonderful their passion was, and that she may never feel that again.
And when she felt that she was back to a somewhat regular sleeping and eating pattern, and had enough energy to leave the estate, she resolved to take a visit to the address of the Earth Mager that Willis had left for her. If Tanisca was afraid of her now, and if Willis Villicrey could see her life better than she herself could, then this was a power Veria was determined to develop.
On a particularly sun-soaked day, Veria put on a simple black skirt and a light blue, buttoned blouse, and made her way to the grand hall. As she expected, Tanisca stopped her, emerging from her den with a handful of letters, still in her red silk dressing robe. Tanisca hated simple clothes, and hated the thought of Veria going to town in them especially, but Veria did not care anymore.
“I am going to visit the mentor Master Villicrey mentioned during his visit,” Veria cut her mother off before she had a chance to speak.
“I am not trying to stop you from going anywhere, Via,” Tanisca said quietly, not meeting her daughter's eye. Veria was surprised to realize that her mother spoke the truth. “But you ought to wait until after your guest has gone.”
“What guest?” Veria spat. “No one has told me of any guests.”
“His arrival was unexpected, but it appears a carriage from Chadron approaches from the North.”
Lord Rames. Of course. He did tell her that he would be back soon, and would not announce his visit. Veria rolled her eyes and sighed.
“It appears nothing ever goes according to your plans, does it?” Tanisca said quietly, but with plenty of ironic enjoyment.
“Well, you will just have to excuse me,” Veria said, “but as far as plotting and planning, I am many, many years behind your decades of experience.”
Tanisca pursed her lips. “You don't seem very behind on rude remarks,” she snarled. “Well done.”
“It seems in that regard, I have had a wonderful mentor,” Veria replied with a smirk, then exited through the front door.
She took one deep breath at the top of the landing, and admired the newest blooms in the garden, preparing herself for the meeting with Rames. His carriage pulled up just as she made her way down the steps and into the fragrant warmth of the late spring sun.
“Lady Veria!” Lord Rames called as he jaunted up to meet her. “I am quite glad that I have caught you. Is it not a beautiful day?” he added, and Veria noticed that he seemed more nervous than their past few encounters.
“Lord Rames,” she said. He reached for her hand and gave it a polite kiss.
“It looks like you were on your way out?” he asked.
“I was,” Veria stated.
“Well, I will try not to keep you long,” Rames said nervously, looking at the ground. “I am sorry that it has taken me so long to get back to you after our last meeting.” His hands trembled as he fumbled with his hat. “But, when I told my mother of my plans, she agreed that I could proceed with my engagement to you, but under one condition.”
Veria's ears were warm, and her forehead radiated with a dull pulsing hum. She knew what it meant, but she wanted to hear everything Lord Rames had to say, whether it was a lie or not.
“She insisted that I spend a week getting to know Ambra before I made the decision to break the betrothal,” Rames said, not even able to look Veria in the eyes as he spun his hat by the brim in his shaky, tell-tale grip. The dull hum turned to a sharp rattling, and the warmth in her ears turned to heat across her whole head. It was not a comfortable sensation, and she felt her brow furrow and eyes squint against the irritation. “I—I found that I—we, I mean, Lady Ambra and I are a much better match for each other than I had realized—”
The lie grabbed her head with its searing hot claws and spun it around like a sphere on a table. Her vision blurred, she felt sick to her stomach, and it took every ounce of her strength to keep a solid stance.
“I truly apologize, Lady Veria,” Rames said quietly. She must have been doing a better job at composing herself than she felt she was, as he did not seem to be regarding her with concern. “In another world, or time, we...I am sorry.”
“Go,” she managed through clenched teeth. She clutched the wrought iron balustrade along the landing.
And he did as she ordered, placing his hat back on his head, and nodding silently before he turned and walked back to his awaiting carriage.
The throbbing in her skull should have subsided when he stopped lying, or so she suspected. But it continued, like a roiling boil inside her head, and it continued to dizzy her and take all of her energy to stay upright and not be sick. As soon as the carriage was out of sight, she ran out of energy to keep herself standing and collapsed on the hard, cold stone, one hand still clutching the iron rail.
Shaking, and light-headed, she tried to pull herself back up, but could not. And then without warning, her vision went blurry again. This could not just be from the lies, could it? A wave of heat radiated through her stomach and she lurched forward thinking she would finally be sick. If this is what it felt like to be lied to with these so-called 'powers', she was thinking she might just lock herself in a cottage and never let anyone speak to her again.
But the times that she had noticed Tanisca's lies, it had not been even close to this bad. Why, this time, was it practically unbearable? And continuing after the liar was a good way into the distance? Sharp pain flashed simultaneously in her abdomen and forehead, and that was all she could take. She let her eyes close and her body slump into the balustrade, because she could not fight it.
When she awoke, Veria was in her bed, surrounded by several people she did not recognize. Even if she did know them, it would have been hard to recognize them, as most of their faces were covered by blue linen masks. They wore all blue, and seemed to be anticipating her awakening.
Water Magers, Veria thought. Which meant she was sick, apparently. It was a few seconds before she fully remembered the incident with Lord Rames on the steps. So, maybe she was not ill. Whoever found her passed out on the front step must have sent for Magers. Obviously an overreaction if she just passed out from a little elemental sensitivity.
But then, why were there four of them, and why were they all still here, regarding her with such concern and waiting for her to wake?
Just when Veria felt that she ought to speak, Tanisca erupted through the doors and began loudly interrogating the Water Magers.
“Was no one going to tell me my daughter was awake?” she snapped.
“She has just awoken, Madame Tanisca,” one Water Mager, a light-h
aired, rotund woman, began. Tanisca quickly moved on to the next one.
An older man removed his mask to reveal a set of white whiskers covering a wise grin and a face of sharp, yet attractive features. He smirked as Tanisca came toward him.
“Turban,” she said, shoving a finger toward him, “does your staff not understand that I demand regular reports?”
Turqa responded, seeming to restrain his tone and word choice, remaining calm and collected. “Your satisfaction with my staff is of utmost importance, Madame Tanisca. You and your family have been our most valued patients for years and years. I was just about to gather some information on your daughter before sending a full report to you.”
“Turqa,” Tanisca smiled, “if I wanted your sweet talk, I would have called you to my bedroom,” she sneered condescendingly, yet somehow still flirtatiously, to the white-whiskered man. “Now, someone give me an update on my daughter!”
Veria was very much hoping someone was going to give a report soon, because she wanted to know what was wrong with her, as well.
Turqa spoke: “Everything is just fine, Madame Tanisca. It is completely normal to experience dizziness and fatigue, which can lead to fainting spells, in patients with this condition.”
Tanisca glared at her, seemingly angry and disgusted. Why would she be so upset at Veria for having powers? Her mother had developed her powers over decades, and lived most of her life using them and benefiting from them whenever she could. Jealousy and hypocrisy were not typical Tanisca traits, but Veria reminded herself that his was her mother, and any behavior could appear at any time. Unless it was normal behavior, in which case, Veria was not going to hold her breath.
“You will be back in a few weeks then?” Tanisca asked Turqa, who had begun to pack up a few instruments Veria had never seen before. A large vial hung from his neck, swinging against his chest every time he leaned forward to grab an item then stood erect again. She could just barely make out the shimmering jade-colored water in the vial, and remembered Willis Villicrey talking about elemental 'tokens' finding their owners.
Thinking of Willis made her think of Andon, and she winced with a sharp inhale.
“What!?” Tanisca rushed to her side and snapped her head to Turqa. “What is wrong with her?”
The Water Mager chuckled. “There is going to be pain, Tanisca,” he said softly. “You know that. But I assure you. Everything is normal.”
Pain. Nobody ever tells you that having powers is painful. Maybe not all of the elements are painful, she thought. Maybe just as the powers were developing, she wondered. Which may account for why many people never develop them.
“Thank you, Mager Turqa. You and your staff may take leave,” Tanisca said.
Turqa nodded. “I will send an aid in a few days if it suits you. And I shall be back by the next crescent moon.” He gave Veria a warm smile as he walked out the door, and his staff followed.
Tanisca continued to regard her with a mix of concern and contempt.
After an uncomfortable silence, Tanisca growled: “Look at this mess you have created for yourself.”
“I am having a hard time understanding why you think it is so terrible that I have powers. Obviously, I have no idea to handle them yet, but—”
“Ha! You think this about your silly little Earth powers?” Tanisca snarled. “You have no idea, then?”
“Well, since nobody actually gave a report in that report other than to say that I am fine—”
Tanisca interrupted her again. “Oh you are most certainly not fine,” she spat. “You, my darling daughter, are carrying a child. And since you could not seem to keep yourself from having your way with our servants, I am guessing you have not a single clue who the father of that child is.”
Veria's stomach churned as her mother's statement settled on her. Then a knot of pressure formed in her abdomen, and she found that her awareness had completely shifted from her whole self to just that area. That little knot. That pressure. She placed a hand over it, not sure if it was to comfort herself, or whoever was in there.
“This was your chance,” Tanisca said harshly. “You had Lord Rames' influence and wealth with this child! You had better hope it is his, or you will never be able to find a man in this entire country to save this estate. The King will turn it over to some young military man in exchange for keeping secrets and you and that bastard you are carrying will be out on the streets of that disgusting town on the other side of the forest.”
“The town is called Bermedge, mother,” Veria sighed. “And it is not disgusting. And you would be there, too. You forgot to say that you would also be on the streets, since I am positive that is all you care about. If this child is Andon's, I am sure he and I will be cared for just fine.”
“If you are implying that I am selfish in my concern for this family's future, let me point out that you would be raising a child with much less than you were raised with. I am hard-pressed to think of anything more selfish than that,” Tanisca said, and turned and left the room.
Veria wanted to scream at her. She wanted to cry and yell and she wanted someone to hold her. She still felt a quiet hum in her ears as she tried to process everything. It was too much information, too much change, too much stress. She knew one thing for sure. She was not ready to be anyone's mother, but there was nothing she could do about it now. Under the defeat of the realization, she closed her eyes and let her exhaustion carry her into dreams of being far away, in undisturbed serenity.
-XI-
Time passed slowly for Veria for the next few weeks. She spent a majority of her time in the house, in her room, reading or sleeping. Her condition made her feel void of any energy most of the time.
And that is how she thought of it: her condition. The times she tried to think of it as 'her child' left her feeling sick, and angry. Angry at Andon for leaving her, angry at Lord Rames for forcing himself on her, angry at her mother for planting these ideas of seduction and power in her head, but mostly angry at herself for all of the decisions she had made that led to this.
When she could bring herself to eat, she found recourse from the sickness of pregnancy in rosa spice, and added it to most all of her food, much to the distaste of her mother. The smell of it brought a different kind of sickness, though. A sort of emptiness. Waves of strong feelings that reminded her of what she'd had, and that she would not have them again. She wasn't sure which feeling was worse—the real sickness, or the emotional one.
Turqa sent nurses regularly to check on Veria, and they told her everything was fine, while being severely supervised by Tanisca. Exactly six weeks after his initial visit, Turqa came to make a call of his own.
After an extended exam, most of which he performed simply by focusing on the movement of the water energy in her body, he explained, he reported that the baby was healthy and growing according to schedule.
“But...?” Veria asked, because Turqa had a slight frown peeking through the white stubble.
“I would hate to see a young lady of your youth and talent let pregnancy get the better of you,” he answered, a warm smile replacing the look of concern. “Some women marry and have children and that is their purpose, but—I hope you won't find me too forward if I say that you are not like most women your age.”
Veria was sure her perplexed state showed on her face.
“What I mean to say is, while motherhood is an incredible gift, and I am sure you will do well with it, I can sense an interesting balance of energy within you,” Turqa explained. “I rarely come across such strong energy distributions among my patients, but when I do, they are often in extremely powerful Magers. Your mother, for example.”
Veria sighed, and Turqa let out a soft chuckle.
“I know, she is hard to handle. But she is talented, and powerful—you cannot argue that—and she has paved her own path,” Turqa said. “You do not have to take the same path as her, but you should definitely pave your own, as well.”
“So, what exactly are you suggestin
g?” Veria asked.
“Nothing in particular,” Turqa said with a shrug. “Although, if I were to give you a professional prescription, I would say get out of the house and move around a bit. It is good for the body and will increase your vitality.”
Veria mulled over the Water Mager's cryptic advice for sometime after his visit. At dinner she chose to dine with her mother, who pried into the results of the exam, as Turqa had forbade her from being in the room.
“He told me not to let pregnancy get the best of me,” Veria repeated the Mager's words.
“I am inclined to agree,” Tanisca said. “You must stay on your toes, if you are to reclaim the interest of the father of your child and secure a marriage.”
“So by this statement I see you assume that Lord Rames is the father,” Veria groaned.
“I would think you would be assuming, and hoping, for the same if you knew what was best for you and your child,” Tanisca said.
Veria shuddered at the word 'child', especially referencing it as belonging to Lord Rames.
“I think Turqa meant something else,” Veria argued.
“I think he probably was trying to find a nice way to tell you not to gain too much fat,” Tanisca muttered, picking through her letters from the day and taking a sip of tea.
That night before falling asleep, Veria remembered her plans to visit the Earth Mager that Willis Villicrey had recommended. She was surprised that she had been in such a blur she had forgotten about it for so long. After finding the information, and her sapphire, in a drawer of her vanity, she made plans to begin her training in the morning.
The morning mirrored the one weeks before, when her condition made its first appearance.
It was noticeably warmer this morning though, as it was now summer. She went to find the carriage, and thought about what Turqa had said about her 'balance of energy' the whole ride into Bermedge. The ride was just bumpy enough to bring the persistent dizziness and upset of impending motherhood to the forefront.
Lord and Servant: (Book I of the Elementals Series) Page 8
