by Shey Stahl
Madison glances down at the brochure and then back to me. “What’s this?”
“A resort. We can get away and remember why we fell in love.”
She rolls her eyes and throws it in the garbage. “No.”
Do you see my heart in there with it? It’s buried at the bottom where she keeps kicking it aside.
Where’s that noose again? Listen to me! I sound pathetic.
“Come on.” I grab her hand and pull her toward me, trapping her against the counter and my body. “I told you I was sorry about the other day. I am.” Her eyes search mine and I’m confident all she sees is honesty from me. “I was just caught off guard and didn’t know how to react. And I’m man enough to admit I reacted horribly.”
“You think?”
“You have to admit Kip was an asshole.”
She nods. “He was. You didn’t deserve that.”
I lean in a little more, but I don’t kiss her despite desperately wanting to. “If you have any ounce of love left for me, you’ll come with me, and we’ll try.”
“I don’t know….”
She didn’t say she didn’t have an ounce of love left, so there’s some hope, right?
And then she draws in a weighted breath and lets it out with a sigh. “When?”
Score! Finally, a fucking break.
“We leave in an hour.”
Her eyes widen. “We can’t. Callan has soccer tomorrow.”
“I can skip it,” he says from behind us. “I want you guys to stay married.”
A constricting weight hits my chest, my shoulders feeling about the same. Madison and I stare at one another. We should have known he’d notice what was happening between us at some point. The argument beside the car was most certainly heard by him.
Noah appears at the door and hits Callan’s hand. “Push me!”
He rolls his eyes. “I’ll be right there. Hold on.” And then he glances back at us. “Please go. I don’t want you to get a divorce.”
I picture myself at his age, begging my dad to stay, only he didn’t. He untied my hands from the grip I had on his arm and walked out of my life when I was six. We have a relationship now, but that’s a lasting memory I will never forget.
Madison kneels and pushes Callan’s hair from his face, her hands cradling his cheeks. “Oh honey, we will. We’re making every effort to fix this.”
I want to snort and say, “Really, are you, Madison?” But I don’t because I’m a step ahead and that will only make things worse.
“Uncle B will be here any minute,” I tell him, my hands buried in my pocket.
Madison shoots me a glare and stands up when Callan smiles. “Yay!” Then he takes off, running to the backyard to push Wolverine.
“You can’t be serious? You’re having Brantley watch them?”
“What? It can’t be any worse than the Queen of Hearts lady.”
“You’re unbelievable.” And then she pushes past me. “I’m going to pack.”
“Pack less underwear. You won’t need them.”
She snorts, but there’s some amusement to it. “Uh-huh.”
“It’s beautiful out here,” Madison says, staring up at the sky through the sunroof in my truck.
The night’s fallen around us. The sky that was once painted with hues of red, orange, and pink around the canyons has faded leaving a matte-black canvas and tiny specs of light.
The burnt-orange canyons still visible in the distance from where we’re parked, a reminder of how absolutely breathtaking this state is when you get outside the city.
I stare at her, memories flashing in my eyes of a time when this was easy. Her thoughts soften her hardened expression and she smiles, just a little bit, but I can’t ignore it. It’s in the darkness we exist, here, alone.
“Please, don’t ignore me anymore.” My hand rests on her knee, gripping it enough for her to know what kind of want I’m implying here. “I don’t care about anything else right now. Just give me something.” My hungry lips seek hers, desperate, needing, giving in.
I’m not sure, but I think she’s taken back by my sudden need. And for a moment, I lose myself in the desire to have her, right now, right this second in my truck.
And then she’s kissing me back, and I feel like I’ve fucking won the lottery, her warm hands move over my shoulders as she fights to get her seat belt loose.
In the heat of the moment I assume, I grab her hand and drag her onto my lap. It’s not easy, but I do it and then reach for the door handle.
“What are you doing?” she asks, excitement in her voice and eyes.
“What I should have done weeks ago.”
Once I have the door open, I carry her around to the back of my truck and open the tailgate to set her on it.
She breathes in heavily, but she’s still smiling as I rip my shirt over my head and onto the ground. It’s right now in this second I see her moment of weakness, and I know her desire’s controlling her next movements.
I can’t take it any longer, the violent rise and fall of my chest drawing her stare lower. She sees how desperate I am.
“What are you doing? We’re in the middle of nowhere.” Her hands that were once beside her move to my chest, pushing back.
I draw back, eyes wild and reckless, everything she’s making me feel lately. “Don’t think. Just be here.”
I reach for her hips and slide her to the edge of the tailgate, my hands moving up her dress to the edge of her panties. “Stop backing away from me,” I growl, coming forward again, a soft rumble in my chest as it presses into hers. My head hits her shoulder. “I don’t like being denied something for so long,” I tell her, turning my head, my lips at her ear, breath cool compared to the heat around us. “It only makes me want you more.”
“Ridley.” She pushes back against my chest again, her palms flat, but she’s not pushing me away.
“Don’t tell me to stop.” My hand raises to touch the side of her face, my weight pressing forward in an attempt to make contact with her again. My right thumb slides over her lips. “You know you want me too.”
“I just don’t think we should be doing this out here. We don’t even know where we are.”
I shake my head, refusing to acknowledge her denial. “Who cares? Be in the moment.”
“Stop.” She pushes back away from me, sliding further back in my truck bed. “Not right now.”
“You’re saying no?” I raise an eyebrow, and she nods. “Should I remind you how good it is with me before you say no? Remind you of how good it always is between us?”
My eyes fall to her legs, watching my tentative touch move higher. Climbing in the bed of the truck with her, I remove my hands from her to my shorts. Lazy lidded, I undo them. I’ll stop if she really wants me to. I’m certainly not that guy, but look at her right now. Those beautiful begging blue eyes are telling me another story. She’s pleading for me to take her in the bed of my truck, in the middle of nowhere because I can’t fucking stand it anymore.
She blinks and it’s as if memories of us are flashing in her eyes.
Do you see the way she’s giving in? It’s in the way she’s watching me. At least I see it.
“Please…,” I beg. “I can’t stop thinking about how much I want you and this dress….” I shake my head, drawing a whistled breath between my teeth. “I need you.”
I know this doesn’t fix anything, and it’s just sex, but you can’t blame me for trying because when you think about it, before the whole Kip drama, sex got her at least talking to me.
I don’t give her a chance to utter her denial. Instead I lean in, kissing her with hungry lips, seeking her warm ones. My tongue strokes her lips before pulling it inside my mouth harshly.
Sighing, I draw back, mouth lingering over the top of hers. “Why do you torture me? Why is this so fucking hard?”
Her body trembles as my fingers weave into her hair, grasping a handful and pulling as her mouth covers mine. Pressing forward, I lie on top of her.
She kisses me back right then. Gripping my neck, her hands fist in my hair tighter.
I moan quietly as our tongues meet and pin her to the bed of the truck with my hips, so strong and forceful she’ll know just how much I want her to fulfill this burning ache I have deep within to have her this way.
Shaking with a subtle tremor, her body curves, bending around mine as she spreads her legs wider. My mouth moves hastily from her ear to her neck and down her collarbone, before returning to her mouth.
With lust-stricken eyes, I move back far enough to get my shorts undone and her panties removed.
Madison’s hands slide from my hair to my shoulders, brushing up over my arms and grabbing my biceps, feeling them flex and tighten beneath her grasp as I move forward and press my weight into her again.
“Tell me you don’t want this, and I’ll stop.”
I know she’s not going to deny me. I see it written on her face, but I’m curious what she’s going to do.
“I don’t want you to stop,” she breathes. “I want you, Ridley.”
Did you see the emphasis she put on those words?
I certainly did.
Without breaking the kiss, my mouth is back to her neck when my hips move against hers. There’s no denying what’s going on when my hips drag over hers.
And then she angles her hips, making more direct, persistent contact with mine.
I make some kind of noise close to her ear, somewhere between a gasp and a groan, as my body answers her reactions. “I can’t wait any longer,” I tell her, moving my hips once more.
Supporting my weight against the bed by propping myself up on the one hand, my left-hand moves to her breasts, massaging them with need and desire. My hips push against hers again, savoring the feeling. The sensation, a reminder, jolts through my body like a spark.
Pressing my lips to hers, I stare down at her and wink, but say nothing as I reach between us to position myself at her wet entrance.
Her cheeks flush in the night as I push forward, words rushing from my lips. “Oh God, baby… fuck, that’s so good.”
Madison tosses her head back against the bed, her hands still firmly on my shoulders as I pound into her with need.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re having sex right now? Isn’t that just covering your problems with sex?
Yes, it is, and as you can see, Madison and I are good at that.
Women? Here’s the thing. Men can be pissed at you, screaming at the top of their lungs mad, but if you drop to your knees and give us head, we’re gonna let you. And then when you swallow, we’ll go back to arguing with you. See how I added the swallow part? I’m just being honest.
Does it matter if you swallow?
Let me put it to you this way. Let’s say you’re having sex with your man and he finds just the right spot to get you off but then just before you come, he moves. What would you do?
Madison would straight up punch me in the face and tell me to get back to work.
My point is, if you’re going to go through all the work to give your man a blow job, finish the job. Don’t be a quitter or a spitter.
Anyway, my point is we don’t think of sex in the same way you do. We just want it whenever you’re willing to give it up.
“Faster,” Madison moans, drawing me from my thoughts.
“You’re not going to be able to walk tomorrow,” I growl against her skin.
“Oh God,” she whispers, a slow shake of her head like she can’t believe we’re doing this, but she also doesn’t have the strength to stop me because she wants it just as bad. I’ll take anything I can get at this point, so I don’t stop, and I’m intent on showing her just how badly she needs me by knowing I’m the only one who can make her feel like this.
“Say it, Madison,” I beg, my breathing heavy as my hands wrap tightly around her hair, tugging so her head angles toward me, eyes locking when I press all of my weight into her. “Tell me you want me too. Tell me you’re mine.” I pause, swallowing with a regretful shake of my head. I’m not sure what I’ll do if she says she’s not.
Sometimes you have to ask for something you want, and I’m fixated on making her do just that because if she does, there’s hope. This isn’t all a waste of time. Madison never says what she really means but if I can see her eyes, I know when she’s telling the truth.
She stares back at me, blues glowing in the night. “I’m yours....”
And there’s the truth. Look at her. Do you see it? There’s not a chance in hell she’s lying to me. She may not be willing to make it work, but there’s no denying this woman is mine.
“Oh God, Madison....” Her name is my weakness, spoken like a prayer against her lips as if I’m giving everything I have for her to love me enough to stay.
Her eyes snap shut when I slam into her again, filling her, over and over again. I want to slow it down, but I know we can’t, and I won’t. Her moans of pleasure mix with my grunts of need.
It’s quick—give me a break—it’s been weeks, and my body shakes as I let go, strangled words falling from my lips, my head thrown back.
When my body stops shaking, I wonder what she’s going to say to me next. It could be anything.
She stares at me, her hand drifting up to run her fingertips along the edge of my jaw. I’m dying to see warmth and connection in her face, and I do, but fear and sadness are there too. She’s so beautiful in this light, the moon shining down on her face outlining her perfectly defined cheek bones and that cute nose I love to kiss.
Her lids fall shut, tears rolling down her temples but she brings our lips together.
I kiss her back, trying to understand the tears and sadness because I thought she enjoyed that. Didn’t she? Normally you don’t cry after sex unless you’re a virgin.
Did it hurt?
I stare down at her, trying to figure out what she’s thinking. Under that sadness—the vulnerability and the emotion—there’s something in the way she looks at me, like I’m all she’s ever wanted, ever.
Her breathing falters when I slide out, her tears slowing.
She watches me with almost a confused look on her face.
I’m not sure what her reaction will be next, but I kiss her, once, and then move back, my knees sliding against the truck bed. My hand moves to my hair as I try to slow my breathing.
Madison sits up, brushing tears away and reaching for her panties beside her. There’s a moment when our eyes meet, and our situation is clear. This was just a Band-Aid for an underlying issue, but still, she felt something in the last five minutes she hasn’t felt in a while.
The air changes and I feel it. It’s in the confused expression as her brows pull together, silently asking me what that was.
“We should probably get going,” I say, reaching for her hand to help her out of the back of the truck. When she’s standing in front of me smoothing out her dress, I cup her cheeks in my hands, forcing her to look at me. “Don’t over think this. The purpose of this weekend is to try and recapture the love I know we still have. This is part of that process. I’m just trying to make this work,” I state, feeling the need to clarify what this is, even though I don’t really need to.
If I want to fuck my wife on the side of the road, I should be able to, right?
Something flickers in her eyes, though, and I don’t know what it is.
Giving me a fleeting look, she turns and gets inside the truck, slamming the door without another word.
“We’re lost. Just pull over.”
“Why? Do you see anyone I can ask for directions? No. You don’t.”
Before you say, “wow, stop being a jerk,” I don’t “do” being lost. I like to know where I’m going at all times and if I don’t know, I become Wolverine, like Noah when you wake him up in the morning.
“If we pull over, we can at least look at a map.”
She’s purposely trying
to drive me off the deep end. I know it. She’s probably hoping I’ll drive off one of these cliffs so I don’t have to hear this bullshit and you know, I’d fucking do it at this point if I knew it wouldn’t kill me. I’d gladly take a broken arm, even a leg than subject myself to this.
My finger’s still healing from the nail incident, so what’s one more broken bone?
“What map?” I laugh, but there’s not a lot of amusement in my tone. “Do you have one hidden up your ass?”
She cocks an eyebrow smugly. “Funny.” She snorts. “Real fucking funny. I meant our cell phones.”
I stare at her in disbelief. Is she for real? “Do you honestly think we have service out here? Even the navigation is at a loss.” I point to the screen that’s been stuck on recalculating for an hour.
“You know for a man who hates to be lost, or late to anything, you’d think you would have programmed the address in and stuck to it,” she says to me bitterly.
Do you hear that?
Do you fucking believe she has the nerve to be bitter right now?
Do you want to know why we’re lost?
Madison wanted to see the stars. That being said, she had me pull over onto a road I didn’t know, drive down said road until we came to a canyon.
And that’s not the worst part. The stars were beautiful, and the sex was amazing.
But now I don’t know how to get back to the main road.
Want to test a marriage?
Well… you could start by one of you filing for divorce and not telling the spouse and then serve them with divorce papers. That’s one way.
The other?
Take a wrong turn. Guaranteed argument.
“I think you turn right here?” Madison points to her right, staring off into the darkness as we drive through the canyons, bouncing around in the truck with the uneven road.
“Really? You think that? Well, guess what, if I turn right, we die.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Look out your window.” I jerk the wheel to the right to give her a scare but not enough we actually go over the side but then I say, “It’s a fucking cliff.”
She doesn’t appreciate my humor one bit. Her arm jets out and smacks me in the chest. “Damn you, don’t scare me like that.”
