by Love N. Joy
“Trust me if he doesn’t want to be put on child support he will do the right thing and be a father to that baby.”
“Oh my god Yolanda I came over here to get positive insight from you but you just making jokes about the whole damn thing,” Zariah said getting frustrated now.
“Okay, okay let me put it like this,” Yolanda said getting serious. “See Quincy is the type of guy who always wants to do the right thing in life no matter how hard life gets. So with you having a baby, he will step up and do the right thing and Jaidyn will definitely be out the picture once she finds out you’re pregnant.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready to be a mother though, I’m not even financially stable to add a baby to the picture,” Zariah said contemplating.
“Well it’s either that or marriage and you and I both know that neither you nor Quincy is ready for that.”
“So you’re saying that we are too immature for marriage but we are ready for a baby…that doesn’t make sense.”
“Well shit girl, I’m just trying to help but you working my nerve with all this back and forth. I’m going to bed.” Zariah sighed and got up from the bed and laid back down on her blow up mattress that Yolanda pulled out for her.
“Goodnight girl,” Yolanda said as she turned the light out.
“Goodnight,” Zariah said back. Sleep was hard to come by that night. Zariah tossed and turned as she contemplated on if she really wanted to take their relationship to the next step. If she did decide to go through motherhood that meant all of her sleeping around would have to stop. Yeah they weren’t ready for a baby but Zariah knew Quincy wanted a little him running around. They weren’t getting any younger, almost in their mid twenties. Now would be the best time for them to have one. A smile crept upon Zariah face as she came to her final decision, she wanted to have Quincy’s baby and just like Yolanda said it would erase Jaidyn out of their life for good. Jaidyn needed to recognize not to fuck with what wasn’t hers.
With you having a baby, he will step up and do the right thing and Jaidyn will definitely be out the picture. Zariah thought back to what her cousin was saying. She sighed deeply to herself and walked over to Quincy’s side of the bed and pulled out his stash of condoms. A small grin came to her face when she realized that she would soon be convincing Quincy that she wanted to take their relationship to the next level. The thought of walking around holding her stomach, knowing that there was something precious growing inside brought a tear to her eye, but then reality set in; thinking about how she had to sneak behind Quincy’s back and make all of his condoms disappear without his consent broke her heart because this isn’t the type of person she was.
“He made me this way though,” she said aloud to herself as she thought about all the back and forth he was doing with her and Jaidyn and she had to admit she was a fool to keep taking him back foolishly but she was in love and it was time to put an end to him and Jaidyn. She grabbed the trash can that was against the wall and began dumping the condoms in it.
“What do you think you’re doing?” She heard Quincy ask. Her whole body froze up as she slowly looked up to see him standing there in the doorway of their bedroom. “H—h-hey bay I---I didn’t know you would be home so soon,” she said making it obvious that she was in the wrong but she was convinced that maybe she could change the subject.
“No answer my question first; what do you think you’re doing?” He repeated. Zariah tucked her dark brown medium length hair behind her ears and looked down at the trash can knowing that this looked all bad.
“Hello? Did you go deaf?” Quincy asked getting irritated with her now.
“Okay listen Quincy you and I have been together for almost 4 years and even though they have been on and off I feel like…maybe we are ready to…”
“To what?” Quincy asked trying to rush the words out of her mouth.
“To take it to the next level,” she finally said.
Quincy’s eyes squinted as he raised his right eye brow. “Explain more about what you mean of going to the next level because I hope it’s not what I think it is.”
“Well um, that depends on what you are thinking,” Zariah asked as she began fidgeting with her fingers, nervous about the outcome of this conversation.
“Just tell me you’re not talking about having any kids or marriage right now and I’ll be open to almost anything else,” he said.
Zariah chuckled nervously then said, “Wow we think alike because I was thinking about the having kids thing too but I’m thinking the opposite about it.”
“I’m not laughing,” Quincy said with no expression on his face.
“Well can you at least tell me why,” Zariah asked as her eyes started to tear up.
“Because Zariah you already know that my heart is in two places right now.”
Zariah looked at him with disbelief written all over her face now. She couldn’t believe this was the man she had fell in love with at first sight. “Are you fucking serious, because yo ass is confused about who you want to be with I got to suffer for the shit?” She asked raising her voice at this point.
“Ay Zariah you need to calm your tone,” Quincy said between clenched teeth not wanting the neighbors to hear their business.
“No Q, I’m sick of this shit. I’ve been trying to stay loyal this time and you’ve been dipping back and forth between me and that bitch for the longest. I sound like a fool right now for even wanting to have your damn baby and you can’t even consider the thought.”
“See that’s the reason why we can’t even move onto the next level Z because you’re so damn insecure, you’ve never trusted me. I’ve never cheated on you but you seem to have a problem with that area on your behalf. When you and I are back good, I put Jaidyn to the side and she doesn’t deserve to go through that shit.”
Zariah balled up her fist and punched Quincy in his jaw, hoping that she broke it. “SO I DESERVE ALL THE SHIT YOU PUT ME THROUGH!!!” She yelled out at this point. Quincy looked back at her as he rubbed his jaw; it was taking all of his strength not to swing back at her. He wasn’t the type to hit a female but she was pushing him to that limit.
“Did it ever occur to you that I may be already pregnant, that’s why I’m bringing this up to you?” She asked in a sincere tone of voice. The evil glare on Quincy’s face began to soften up.
“Riiight, you didn’t think about that did you?” Zariah asked. Quincy stood there frozen, not knowing what to say at this point. Throughout this whole altercation he didn’t stop to think about the reason why she wanted to move to the next level. Before he could even get a chance to say anything Zariah sucked her teeth and said, “I’ll be back later to get my stuff.”
She stormed past him and when he heard the front door slam shut he knew that he fucked up. He went and plopped down on his side of the bed and buried his head into his hands. What the hell am I gone do now? He thought to himself. He was nowhere near ready to be a father. The game of love was starting to become a winner of its own and there was no escape out of it.
He looked up and sighed deeply. Right then and there he noticed that the condoms were still in the trash can. He grabbed them and dumped them back in the box, frustrated or not it was a recession right now and he wasn’t about to let some expensive condoms go to waste.
Chapter 4
Jaidyn’s P.O.V.
“Girl I still can’t believe you did some shit like that,” Pierre said as he pranced around the house getting ready. I finally decided I was going to the club with him to help get my mind off everything that was going on. In the process of getting ready I knew that Pierre was going to bring up the fact of why I changed my number so I had no choice but to tell him because I knew he wasn’t going to let me sleep at night if I didn’t.
“Omg let the shit go,” I yelled out as I was finishing up the last curl in my hair. “Besides you act like you never had a weak moment and called up one of your exes for a
one night stand.”
“Yes bitch I have done that before but after I get it out of my system I’m done with them for good. Bitch you keep going back to him because this is your way of helping you get over Quincy. That’s the dumbest thing you could ever do.”
“Okay Pierre, I’m gone need you to be a little sensitive, I made a mistake.”
“Once or twice is a mistake Jai, you have done this seven times now, don’t you think by now Isaiah is going to catch onto your game or did you even think about maybe this time you wouldn’t have gotten out of there safely?” The points that Pierre pointed out were so true, I wasn’t thinking about them when I put myself at risk by going over there, I was just so horny and I knew that Isaiah would fulfill satisfying me.
“Pierre I’m sorry…seriously,” I said in a more sincere tone of voice.
“I’m sorry if I’m sounding rude right now but you’re all the family I have Jai and if anything happened to you I’d lose my mind. I know I’m always the strong one in situations but girl, I wouldn’t be this sane if you weren’t in my life,” he explained. I looked up and saw tears coming to his eyes.
“Oh Lord you better not start crying,” I said as I walked over to him and gave him a hug.
“You know I get emotional when my heart be flooding, just don’t do that no more. Be smarter next time,” Pierre said as he wiped his tears and sniffed a couple of times.
“I promise I won’t but I know my actions have to speak louder than words.”
“I’m glad you understand that,” Pierre said as he wrapped his arms around me as well. Right then and there a loud knock at the front door disturbed our Kodak moment.
“Who the hell is that?” Pierre asked putting on his ghetto tone now.
“It’s me Ava,” the female voice replied back. Pierre pranced over to the door and opened it up welcoming her with open arms.
“Girl it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you,” Pierre said as he welcomed her in. This girl looked like she as at least 5’6, light skinned with slanted eyes, petite frame. Her light brown cinnamon hair was braided up into a Mohawk and she had a lip piercing on the right side of her top lip.
“Yeah I know I’m back in town for a couple of weeks visiting my family,” Ava replied.
“That’s good, how do you like it in Georgia so far?” Pierre asked.
“It’s okay I’ve only been there for three months. So far, I got to get more comfortable with it.”
“Yeah you will eventually,” Pierre replied.
At that second, the girl Ava, turned to look at me. “Hey I don’t know you but I don’t want to be rude and not speak.”
I laughed and walked into the living room. “No actually Pierre is the rude one because he’s supposed to do the introducing.”
“Well damn bitch, just put me on blast,” he said. “Ava, this is my roommate and sister from another mister, Jaidyn. Jaidyn, this is one of my rainbow buddies, Ava.”
“Nice to meet you,” Ava said.
“Same here,” I replied.
“Y’all look nice. Where y’all heading to?” Ava asked.
“To Dream 4.”
“Oh no that club is still open?” Ava asked looking shocked now.
“You know and I’m about to be backing my ass up in that bitch once again tonight,” Pierre said popping and hip rolling, being the goofy person he was known to be.
“P yo, it’s really time for you to find a new club,” Ava said with a serious look on her face.
“Whatever hating ass hoe,” Pierre said causing us both to crack up. Ava looked back at me.
“So are you going too?” Ava asked.
“Yeah,” I replied.
“Oh ok so I see we got a new Rainbow buddy,” Ava said.
“Oh no, she’s strictly dickly she’s just coming along to have fun that’s all,” Pierre said.
“Well no disrespect ma but when the ladies see you tonight they gone be all over you,” Ava replied.
“Well damn bitch just make the girl feel uncomfortable,” Pierre said. I couldn’t help but to laugh.
“I’m just saying,” Ava said.
I laughed and said, “It’s okay attention is better than having no attention at all. I’m about to go take one more look at myself before we leave.” I walked back into my room and looked at myself in my full length mirror. I had on an all black silk skimpy halter top dress that hugged my breast and ass. I had on my black Christian Louboutin shoes to match with my all black Gucci purse. I had on black and silver accessories to finish off the touches. My hair was swooped to the side in some big loose curls. Yes I guess Ava was right. All eyes may be on me tonight because I was feeling good and looking good. This is exactly what I deserved to help get my mind off everything that has been going on. But I couldn’t lie; I did miss Quincy like hell. Even after all of the back and forth he put me through, it was just his presence that I missed. I pulled my Iphone out of my purse and scrolled down to his number. I contemplated for a couple of seconds if this was I wanted to do. I knew that we would probably never be the same like we use to be but it was worth a try getting our friendship back.
Without another thought I dialed the number and placed the phone to my ear. After a couple of rings I heard, “Hello.” The sound of his voice sent a chill through my pussy and my heart skipped a beat and begin rising in my throat.
“Hello,” he said again.
A part of me was screaming to hang up the phone and the other part of me was just saying talk to him.
“Hello,” he said getting frustrated at the sound of silence as a response. After a couple of seconds he hung up the phone.
“Damn Jai, how long does it take you to look at yourself in the mirror?” Pierre yelled out from the living room snapping me back into reality.
“Okay I’m coming!” I yelled out. I took one last look at myself in the mirror then headed back out to the living room to leave.
Ava ended up coming along with us to Dream 4. The scene was live but it just wasn’t something I could get into. Half the reason was because I didn’t know anyone there but Pierre and the other reason was because I was beating myself up on the inside for calling Quincy. It was time that I just moved on, it would be hard because I didn’t want to learn anyone else and have to go through the interview question stage. I felt comfortable with Quincy but it hurt that his heart wasn’t comfortable with me.
“Girl, didn’t your parents tell you that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile,” Ava said as she walked up behind me. I was confused at what she was saying. She sucked her teeth and pushed my sad face up into a smile with her hands. “See that’s better,” she said causing me to laugh. “Why do you look so down?” She asked.
“No reason, I guess I just can’t seem to get into the party mood tonight and Pierre done left me over here by myself,” I replied as I looked over at Pierre dancing on another guy shaking my head at him and chuckling.
“Well look, how about I party with you to make you feel comfortable?” Ava suggested. Right then and there my favorite song by Chris Brown and Big Sean “Paper, Scissor, Rock” came on.
“That would be a good idea,” I said. We headed over to the dance floor and begin dancing. I was starting to enjoy myself. Ava kept me laughing and she was the life of the party, other girls surrounded her. I just danced and cheered her on.
I felt my phone vibrate against my breast. I pulled it out and there was a message from Quincy. My heart paused and my eyes got real big. Big enough for Ava to notice.
“What’s wrong?” She asked.
I snapped back to reality. “Nothing, nothing I’ll be right back. I got to head to the bathroom.” I marched over to a corner in the club and opened the message. He wanted to know if it was me. I hesitated to text back then finally said forget it and replied anyway saying yes it is, this is my new number.
A couple of seconds later my phone vibrated again with a message from him saying that he missed me
a lot. My heart began to pound against my chest as my throat got tied up. Here I go again playing myself. I texted back saying I missed him too. He had me right where he wanted me once again.
Last night felt like a dream but real at the same time. I woke up feeling like I was on cloud nine-thousand but why was I so happy? It’s not like anything really changed for me, Quincy was still with Zariah and I was still stuck on trying to move past that. I reached for my phone and realized I had a text message from him that came in at 4 this morning. Damn were we texting since I came from the club? I thought to myself as I opened the message to read it. The message said he would meet me at the poetry slam tonight. I didn’t even remember texting him saying I wanted to go, but hey what the heck it would be fun. That was like our friendship tradition to always go to the poetry slam at Café Sensations every once and a while when we needed to just relax and get away from the drama and pain that was going on in our life. It was always good to surround ourselves around people who expressed their emotions into poetry, we felt like we could relate to them. I just didn’t know how I would be able to be around Quincy now since he was the one causing my pain. What could our hearts relate to now; does he even feel the same pain that I feel?
I texted back okay see you tonight then placed my phone back on my dresser next to me. Right then and there I heard a light knock at my door. “Come in,” I said loud enough for the person on the other side to hear. My door slowly opened and Ava poked her head into the room.
“Hey girl I didn’t know you was still here,” I said as I sat up in my bed.
“Yeah I’m just now waking up, I never sleep this late,” Ava replied.
“This late, what time is it?” I asked as I furrowed my eyebrows up.
“It’s going on four in the afternoon,” Ava said in return.
“Oh I got to get going,” I said as I jumped out of the bed. The poetry slam starts at 6 and I didn’t want to have Quincy waiting. I had to admit he put me through a lot in these past two years but I would still be there for him if he needed me, I’m human.
