“This is amazing, Rob.” Lexi even ate hot. She put the fork with the steak on it to her full lips and once she slipped the bite in, she made a little sexy moaning sound when she tasted it. I was imagining her now making that same noise only with something else in her mouth. God, I was hopeless. I realized that she was looking at me staring at her. I wondered if my thoughts were apparent to her before I quickly looked away. My father was looking at Lexi and so was Lydia. At least I wasn’t the only one staring at her, I as just going to have to be really conscious of the looks on my face.
“Thank you, Lexi. Do you cook?” Dad asked her.
“Not as much as I’d like,” she said. “Mom taught me how to cook Italian food when I was a kid.” “It was something we did on Sundays a lot. We’d make homemade pasta and sauce and since we always made way too much, Mom would box up the leftovers and she and I would drop them off at the homeless shelter. She has a great big heart. Has she made her homemade pasta for you yet?” Dad was looking at Lydia like he was shocked.
“You cook?” he asked her.
Lydia laughed. “I would,” she said, “if my husband ever decided to let me in the kitchen.”
“I was just thinking that same thing,” I said. “I have no idea what to do in there, either. He hates people in his kitchen.”
Lexi smiled. This time I was looking at her out of the corner of my eye. She was looking at me again. Maybe my attraction to her isn’t quite so weird. Maybe she’s feeling it, too. Did that make it more or less weird? I’m not sure. It’s creepy either way, I guess.
“Is this your specialty?” she asked Dad, looking back at him so I was free to stare at her again. I could tell that her interest in him and what he liked to do was endearing to him. She was good. I was still a little nervous and hesitant around her mother and I’d known her for months. Hell, I even lived here for at least half the year and it was still not completely comfortable. I used humor a lot. It helped me fill those awkward silences. Lexi was talking to Dad like she’d known him for years.
“It’s one of them,” he told her with a wink. Then he looked at Lydia and said, “Tell her what you married me for.”
“Cheesecake,” Lydia said.
Lexi laughed. I really liked the sound of it. “Well, that makes perfect sense,” she said. “When I was a little girl if either of us was upset about anything, we had a cheesecake night. She always used to say that if she could find a man who could make a cheesecake better than the cheesecake factory…”
“I’d marry him,” Lydia finished for her. They laughed again. God, she’s gorgeous. But it was more than that. It was the real, easy relationship she had with her mom and the way she was going out of her way to get to know my dad. She wasn’t at all the city snob I thought that she would be. I was beginning to think I might actually want to get to know her…now that was weird. She suddenly turned her interest on me and for the first time since I was in grade school, I almost choked up. Women didn’t usually affect me this hard. Nothing really does. I have a tendency to stay pretty laid back about most things. With Lexi, it was different for some reason. It was actually hard to look at her when she looked directly at me because all of my vital signs went through the roof.
“So Mark, do you cook, too?” she asked me.
“Sure, I make a mean grilled cheese sandwich.”
“Your dad didn’t teach you the secret to the cheesecake, at least?”
“I tried,” Dad said. “He was too busy with the bulls.”
Here we go, I thought. “Bull is right,” I said. “He didn’t try at all. He was afraid if he gave me the recipe then I’d get all the girls instead of him.” Dad laughed at that and so did Lydia and Lexi. She was looking at me again, and I just kept on talking, “Speaking of bulls, I’m riding in the rodeo in Woodlake tomorrow. You should come and watch me.” Did I just invite her to go with me to the rodeo? Is that too freaking weird? No, it wouldn’t be a date or anything, she’s family. I needed to say that over and over in my head like a mantra until it stuck. She’s family…she’s my stepsister…she’s so hot it hurts to look at her….
“Hey! That’s a great idea,” Dad said. “The whole family should go. It’ll be fun.” Wow, that wasn’t really what I had in mind, Dad. Thanks. But then again, I did not need to be alone with this woman. God only knew how long it would be before I tried something incestuous. There was also the fact that Dad was trying to support what I’m passionate about…well, pretending to anyways. I guess that’s better than nothing.
“Sure,” Lexi said, looking at her mom who was nodding. She looked back at me and smiled again. “That sounds like fun.” I had to wonder if she meant that, or if she was faking it like Dad. She probably would have said no if it were going to just be us, so I guess I should be grateful to Dad. She genuinely looked enthused…so maybe…
CHAPTER SEVEN
LEXI
I was sitting in the little window seat in “my” room. From the window I could see across the massive acres of the ranch. There was a lake that I hadn’t noticed on my way in today sitting off in the distance like a mirror in the center of a carpet of grass. It was night, but instead of being dark, the sky here was lit up by things you had to squint through the smog to see in the city. The moon was huge and bright and the sky that had been orange and purple only an hour ago had now transformed into an expanse of inky black dotted by a canopy of luminous stars. Some were obviously far away, dull and only flickering into existence every now and again, but there seemed to be hundreds of them that hung close and low in the sky, adding a shimmering light across the countryside. The distant lake glistened and mirrored them, giving it an otherworldly glow. I was mesmerized by it all and at the same time, I was shocked at myself. One of my favorite things about where I lived in the city was the ability to look out and see all the lights at night. It was comforting to me somehow to know that while I slept, there would always be someone else up and bustling around busily. Here it seemed like the whole world was asleep. All of the lights outside were natural ones. No houses or buildings all lit up. It was weird, but instead of being discomforted by that as I thought I would be, I found it peaceful and relaxing. Maybe I really did need a vacation in the middle of nowhere.
The rodeo that I had so readily agreed to go to tomorrow was in a town a few hours away, so we’d be leaving early in the morning, but I was too wound up from everything to sleep yet. Besides, it was only ten p.m. At home I’d be up until at least one or two. Mom and Rob had said goodnight at nine and I’d escaped up here to make sure my hot stepbrother and I wouldn’t be alone. He’d already gone outside by that time to do…something. I’m not sure what you do way out here in the middle of the night. Honestly, I’m not even sure what a person did during the day. In the city, my mother did a lot of visiting with her friends and shopping when she wasn’t playing the piano for her church or a wedding or some other kind of party. I wondered if she ever got bored out here. I know I would. All this peace and quiet would probably be a novelty for a while, but it would wear off quickly, I’m sure.
I thought about how quickly I had said, “Sure,” when Mark mentioned the rodeo, and I wondered if that was because being with family was what I was here to do or being with Mark was what I wanted to do. I was suspicious of my own intentions. Throughout our “family” dinner, I had to keep reminding myself not to stare at him. It’s not fair for him to be so damned good-looking. I don’t know why he couldn’t be ugly. He could at least have a hooked nose or a wart on the end of it or something. I did notice that every time I looked at him, he was looking back at me. I’m not sure if that makes it more or less creepy if he was as interested in me as I was in him. Probably more. I’m pretty sure that two people with dirty thoughts at a family dinner were even worse than one. Dinner was nice other than my perv-ing on my stepbrother. Rob seems really nice, and Mom seems happier than I’ve seen her in…I can’t remember how long. She deserves it.
I was about to get up from the window seat and head for bed w
hen I saw movement down below. I looked down to see Mark unsaddling a horse. I wondered what he was doing, going for a ride at this hour. He had a rifle attached to the side of the saddle, and I thought about Bullwinkle. I wondered if he was a hunter like his dad. I watched him take that off and then unhook the saddle and slide it off. He didn’t see me watching him, so I took the opportunity to study his profile in the moonlight. He looked a lot like his dad, but Rob’s features were harder, maybe from a longer, harder life. Mark’s features were more subtle until you got to his eyes – they just popped. Rob’s eyes were blue, but nothing like Mark’s. It was a good defense for why I found myself staring at him. I imagined that most people would find them hard to look away from. I wondered if he had a girlfriend and then I wondered why that should matter to his “sister.” Mom told me that Rob was a widower. I wondered how old Mark was when his mother died. I felt bad for any kid who had to grow up without a mom. As I was having these thoughts, I wondered why I was wondering so much about him. I also forgot that I was still staring at my stepbrother. He had stopped what he was doing and he was waving at me. Damn it!
I smiled and waved my hand and then for effect, I covered my mouth with my hand and yawned. He grinned, obviously knowing I was full of shit, and then he pointed at the horse and then at the moon. If he thought I was taking a moonlit ride alone with him, he had another thing coming. Pervert! He continued to stand there and look up at me, and I decided I would go down there and tell him I was on my way to bed so that he’d leave me alone and I could get some rest. It was purely logistical so that I could talk to him instead of sign. I didn’t want to be close to him, or out in the moonlight with him…God, this is insane!
I made my down the stairs and then quietly out the front door and across the porch. When I got to the bottom step, I saw that a bunch of wooden planks had been lain down across the mud puddles. I smiled. I guess it’s better than nothing. It made me like him more though and I was already on dangerous ground there. I made my way across them and over to where Mark was standing next to the beautiful big, black horse.
“Oh good, you came down,” he said. “Are you going to take a ride with me? I’ll saddle him back up.”
“I just came down to tell you thank you for the offer, but I’m going to turn in early. It’s been a long day and we have to get up early tomorrow, right?”
“We don’t have to leave until seven. That’s not so early. Come on, if you’ve never been on a moonlit ride, you’re missing out. You can’t stay on a ranch and not do it at least once.”
I was tempted. It was so pretty out. I was surprised at how appealing I found my surroundings all of a sudden. But getting on the back of a horse and holding onto this guy would be a big mistake. My hands around his waist would only make me want more. There is no way that I’m getting on one alone, either. I’d only been on a horse once in my life and that was a pony at a county fair…it was a really big pony.
“I don’t know how to ride,” I finally just admitted it. It’s not like he didn’t know I’m from the city.
“You can ride with me.” There it is – the offer I didn’t want. How do I refuse it? I couldn’t tell him that I don’t trust myself with my hands wrapped around his waist. I guess I didn’t really owe him a reason. A simple, “no thank you” would suffice.
“I think I’m going to have to pass this time,” I said. He looked disappointed, but he didn’t argue with me anymore about it.
He saw me looking out towards the lake and said, “Okay, but you should at least let me give you a riding lesson or two before you go home. There really is nothing like it.” Okay, so at least he wasn’t just being creepy about getting me on the horse with him. Those thoughts were probably all in my head anyways. He was probably just being nice. I nodded.
“Do you ride every night?”
“I ride every chance I get,” he said.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“What was the rifle for?”
“Coyotes and bobcats,” he said.
“You shoot them?”
He smiled. “Only if I have to. The drought is driving them out of down out of their hiding places looking for water and food. They’ve been attacking the cattle, and Dad’s lost quite a few head over the past month. When I go out for my ride, I just take the rifle as a precaution. You’re not PETA are you?”
I laughed. “No, I was just curious. You said ‘Dad lost cattle,’ don’t you consider them yours, too?”
He looked out across the ranch and explained, “I love this place. I grew up here and it’s in my blood. The land draws you back over and over…sometimes even when you don’t want it to.” That was all he said about it and something told me that was all he wanted to say, so I let it go. I had to wonder what he meant by “Even when you don’t want it to.”
“Do you hunt like your dad?”
He smiled again. “You are PETA, aren’t you?”
“I was just curious,” I said with my own smile. “I’m not judging.”
“No,” he said. “I don’t hunt. I don’t fish either. Pretty sad excuse for a country boy, aren’t I?”
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not doing either of those things…but why not? Obviously you’ve been exposed to it.”
He shrugged and said, “Ever since I was a kid, I’ve felt more comfortable with animals than I do people. I just don’t see any reason to hunt or fish unless you need to in order to eat. We slaughter our cattle and we eat that…and the chickens and pigs. I don’t have issue with that, it’s the big circle of life. But when it comes to sticking a hook in the mouth of a fish I don’t need because I have a freezer full of beef or shooting Bambi’s dad…I’m just not interested.”
“Oh, I agree.” I was surprised. I don’t know why. I guess just my own city ideas about country people. “Was your dad really disappointed that you didn’t enjoy those things with him?”
He got a strange look on his face and I was sorry I’d asked. Eventually he said, “I’m not the poster child for making a parent proud.”
“He seems proud of your bull riding. He was excited to go to the rodeo tomorrow.” Mark raised an eyebrow slightly and then he smiled.
“Yeah. I’m glad you and your mom are going, too. It will be fun.” There was something there between him and his dad, but it was something he obviously didn’t want to talk about.
“I think it will be, too,” I said, honestly looking forward to it at this point. “Well, I think I’ll turn in,” I told him.
“Alright, Lexi,” he said, looking directly into my eyes. “You have a good night.”
I shuddered and hoped that he would think it was from the cold. “You too, Mark.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
LEXI
I woke up the next day to the morning sun just beginning to stream in through the curtains. There was a lot of noise going on down below and when I was able to drag myself up out of the comfy bed, I went over to the window and looked out. My eyes were treated to a sight that would completely negate my need for coffee today. Mark was again unsaddling a horse…I wondered if this guy ever slept. There were a couple of other guys with him. One was older and the other younger. They were dressed in old jeans and boots and hats, too. I’m going to assume they are the actual ranch hands, but I could be wrong. Maybe they were brothers, too.
Mark was wearing his standard jeans, but today he had on just a white A-line tank, the kind we called “wife-beaters.” His right arm had a tattoo on it that looked like it started up at the shoulder and worked its way down to his elbow. It was a cowboy, riding a bull. It was really colorful and really, really hot. I had no idea that I liked tattoos so much. Oh Jesus! I need a cold shower. I watched as he and the other two guys hitched up a horse trailer to a big green pick-up. His biceps flexed and glistened in the morning sun. My mouth was completely dry from hanging open and panting like a dog in heat as I watched. Making it all that much worse, I was also hiding behind the curtain as I
watched like a real pervert. By the time I pulled my brother-lusting self together, took my shower and dressed, and got downstairs, the “family” was at the table having breakfast.
“Good morning, sweetie,” Mom said. “How did you sleep?”
“Good. My bed is so comfortable, thanks, Mom.” I gave her a kiss on the cheek and said good morning to Mark and Rob before I sat down. Thank God Mark put on a regular shirt before breakfast; I’m not sure how much more of his hotness I would be able to take. Another plus since I stalled so long was that he was finishing up his breakfast and heading back out to finish packing things up. It was amazing and almost frightening how the air in the room seemed so much easier to breathe when he wasn’t in it.
We left the ranch around seven a.m. The drive took just under three hours, but it went by fast. I was in the backseat of the truck with Mark – who once again was sucking all of my oxygen, but I made conversation with him to pass the time and try and keep my mind off the vision of him in that tank top out of my head.
“So when did you get interested in riding bulls?” I asked. I was genuinely interested. I really couldn’t imagine what would make someone want to get on a wild animal’s back and wait to get bucked off.
“I stared mutton bustin’ when I was about eight, just for fun with some of the hands on the ranch.”
“Mutton…?” I think they’re sheep…but how do you bust one?
He flashed that toothy grin at me. I wished he wouldn’t do that. It took me an hour after I went to bed last night to finally fall asleep with that image fresh in my mind. “Riding sheep,” he said.
With a picture of that in my head I asked, “You ride sheep? Really? Aren’t they kind of small for that?”
Ride Me Cowboy Page 3
