“I want more.”
My hand snakes around her neck and I grab a fistful of hair. “How many times a day do I have to fuck you to make you happy?”
She reaches behind herself, smiling, and shuts off the water. “I don’t know yet.”
She’s either some kind of angel sent from Heaven with the mission of overworking my cock, or she’s fucking the pain away.
Whatever the reason, I’m glad.
I admire the way her tits move as she reaches up and wrings out her hair, and grab two towels for her before running one all over myself. I get ready in the other bathroom while she hogs the main one. It takes her fucking long to do all the shit she needs to do with makeup and her hair, but when she’s finished, she looks gorgeous.
My chest tightens as she gives me a kiss on the cheek. She wears a skin-tight semi-sheer black sweater and jeans that leave little to the imagination. I know that I barely know her and she’s mostly just a hot girl who I fuck, but it makes me proud. I’m proud to show her off to my ma.
She takes my hand, squeezing hard as we leave my apartment. I watch her face, her darting eyes, and her mouth, slightly parted as if she’s seconds from screaming. A hot wave of rage suddenly rises inside me for that asshole who made her so afraid.
There’s no one on the icy streets and I open the car door, letting her inside first. Then I join her and we drive out of there. Silence descends in the car, and I keep sneaking glances at her.
I barely know a thing about her.
“So what’s with you?”
“What do you mean?”
My hands tighten on the steering wheel. “I’ve never known a girl to want it that often.”
“I haven’t had fun in a very long time.” She gives me a curious look and her hand curves around my thigh. “You make me feel really good about myself. I—I never realized how much I needed that.”
A pang of sadness hits me suddenly, and I can’t help but feel that whatever this is between us—she’s already feeling something a little more than lust.
Then she lets out a shaky sigh. “I’m worried about this.”
Truth be told, my guts haven’t unclenched since we left my apartment. I don’t like lying to my ma, but for once in my worthless life I’m doing something for the greater good.
She’ll understand.
I hope.
“Don’t worry about her. It’ll be fine.”
Like hell it’ll be.
I know exactly what my mother will do. She’ll scream, she’ll cry, she’ll want to be involved in every damn aspect of the wedding.
The forty minutes to Terrebonne don’t take very long at all and I pull into the driveway. We sit in the car as the engine ticks and stare at my childhood home. Even though it’s freezing, neither of us makes the move to open the car door.
“All right. Let’s do this.”
I open the door and step outside as Elena does the same, wrapping her arms around her sides immediately. She waits for me to walk around the car and then we walk up the path to the front door. Elena lets out a nervous sigh as I raise my fist—
The door flies open and my ma stands in the doorway, looking beautiful and put-together as always. “Hi, baby!”
I gesture toward Elena. “Ma, this is Elena.”
Poor Elena stiffens as my mother throws her arms around her neck and kisses her cheeks, nearly crying in ecstasy.
“It’s nice to meet you.”
“Oh my God, she’s so—you’re so beautiful. My son finally has a girlfriend. Come in. Come in!”
Red-faced, Elena smiles and walks in the house as I take a huge breath.
Here we fucking go.
It smells wonderful, but then again, it always does. It doesn’t matter what time of the night it is, whenever I come over my ma insists on feeding me. Typical Italian mom, I guess.
It looks exactly the same as it did when my dad was still alive. Same beaten-up furniture that my ma refuses to replace for some reason that escapes me. It’s as though she expects him to walk in any moment and find everything exactly the way he left it. A pain hits my side whenever I see a photo of him, and they’re everywhere in this fucking house. When he died, it was as though my heart was ripped from my breast.
My petite mom waves Elena inside, motioning toward the kitchen. “Please, sit, sit. Tony, come here and help your mother.”
Elena stands up from the chair. “I can help, too.”
“No, no. Sit down and relax. Have some—oh Jesus, where are my oven mitts!”
Chuckling, I walk into the kitchen and grab the oven mitts from the top of the refrigerator. “Here.”
Ma squints at me through her glasses and takes the mitts from me. “Maddon, I’m losing it. Tony, set the table.”
I grab fists full of silverware and place them around the small table, smiling at Elena, who sits as if her back is attached to a steel rod. She flinches suddenly as I drop my hand over her shoulder and squeeze it.
“Relax, hon.”
Her muscles relax under my hand. She turns her head with a smile as I stroke her back.
“You two look so adorable,” my ma says, smiling at us. “I never thought my son would bring home a girl. It’s been at least ten years since he had a girlfriend—”
“—Ma!”
Jesus fucking Christ, don’t bring that up.
Her smile fumbles under my glare, and I grab a stack of plates, ignoring Elena’s curious stare. My hands shake and the ceramic cracks together noisily. Ma winces.
“Watch it! Those are new!”
“Sorry, Ma.”
The oven blows a cloud of steam into the kitchen as Ma takes out the roast ham and lets it rest on the kitchen counter.
“You never told me how you met each other.”
I sit down next to Elena, finding her hand under the table.
Let me do the talking.
“At Tommy’s bar.”
Ma gets the knife out of the drawer and sticks the meat thermometer in the steaming ham. “And you two hit it off?”
Her fingers tighten around mine. They feel ice cold.
I’ve done drug deals with bikers and I’ve never been this nervous. There’s a golf ball in my throat. My heart pounds and my mouth is dry. “Well—ah. Yeah, I guess you could say that.”
She frowns at me over the ham and finally sets the thermometer down.
“Ma, could you come sit down?”
“What?” Her eyes widen. “What’s wrong? There’s something wrong, isn’t there? I can tell.”
“No, not really—”
Her mouth trembles as she rips off her glasses and wipes her face. Tears burst from her eyes. “You’re going to prison, aren’t you?”
My jaw drops. “No.”
It’s a fucking nightmare. The kitchen echoes with her heart-wrenching sobs, and I take her hand in mine.
“I never wanted you to be in this—your father would turn in his grave if he knew—”
“Ma, I’m not going to jail!”
She leans over the table, her eyes blazing. There’s no trust in her gaze.
I feel like such a scumbag.
“Then what is it? What is it, Tony?”
“I’m pregnant!”
My head snaps to a stunned Elena, whose whole face slowly burns red. She looks as if she can’t believe what she just said.
“What?”
The look my mother gives me makes me wish that I was getting the shit beaten out of me. I feel small. My hand drapes over Elena’s shoulder and I pull her into my chest, rubbing her arm.
“We’re having a baby, Ma.”
She rubs her eyes and looks at me as though I must be an apparition.
“You’re having a baby? Elena’s pregnant?”
Elena opens her mouth and gives her a tentative smile. “Yes.”
“You’re going to be a nonna.”
Her mouth trembles and fresh tears spill from her eyes. “Oh my god! I can’t believe it!”
Within seconds, he
r arms fly around my neck and she squeezes until I grunt. “Ma, relax.”
She dissolves into tears, and her sobbing punches me right in the chest. Elena looks at me, wearing an expression that mirrors what I feel.
I’m going to Hell for this. No redemption.
Then she unsticks herself from my neck and clings to Elena. “You’re going to have my grandbaby? Oh my God, I’m so excited!”
My chest tightens as she embraces my mom back and I’m surprised to see her eyes swimming with tears. Is she acting?
My mom finally releases Elena and collapses on the chair. “Oh thank the Lord, I never thought this day would come. Your father would be so proud—he’d be so happy.”
I have no fucking idea what my father would have felt. He died before I got to know him. I was ten.
“I know.”
“Oh, Tony.”
“Elena wants to get married before she starts showing.”
Ma gulps down her cries and nods. “Of course, but—Oh my God.”
“I’m really sorry to dump all of this on you, Ma. We only just found out.”
“Do you love each other?”
I don’t even dare look at Elena.
“I don’t know your son very well, but I think that he’s a wonderful man—and I want my baby to have a family.”
Overwhelmed, my mother presses her hand towel to her eyes as tears stream down her face, and Elena reaches across the table and takes my mom’s hand.
“Please don’t be upset.”
I watch her quivering mouth and I suddenly have a strange impulse to tuck the hair hanging around her face behind her ear.
“I—I wish it were under different circumstances, but I’m not upset.” She trembles and then bursts out, “Oh bless you! I thought I’d never see my son get married.”
The rest of the evening passes slowly. It’s torturous, and I feel more and more rotten as the hours go by. She dials every fucking member of my family to tell them the news, and she cries, and she gives Elena the numbers of every recommended florist and bakery and venue that she can think of. Worst of all are the constant references to my dad, and how proud he’d be and how she wishes he were still alive. Finally it’s time to go, and Ma stops me right as I’m about to leave the house.
She clings to my jacket. “Tony, you better raise this baby right.”
“Of course I will.”
“I mean it,” she snaps. “I know how you spend your nights, and I don’t want to see that sweet girl hurt.”
“It’s not like she’d know about it.”
Her hand whirls out of nowhere, slapping me hard across the face. It’s fucking humiliating. She glowers at me.
“What the fuck?”
“I don’t want to hear any of your smart mouth. You have a responsibility to your wife and baby. It’s time to grow up, Tony.”
Tears glaze her eyes and the air leaves my chest.
“I didn’t raise you right.”
“What?”
“You followed in your dad’s footsteps, after I did everything I could to stop it.”
My voice dips to a growl. “You’ve got to stop blaming yourself for that. I chose the life. It was a mistake. I have to live with that, not you.”
“I have to live with every stupid decision you make, Tony. That’s what you don’t realize. Promise me you’ll be good to this girl. You’re not going to leave her for someone else when she gives birth to your baby. Promise me.”
My eyes water from staring at her for so long. “I won’t.”
Ma looks at me for a moment as though she wants to believe me, and then she closes the door.
* * *
This is too much.
This is way too fucking much.
If that prick doesn’t kill me, my mother will.
I slam the door to the apartment and Elena flinches beside me. She cringes with that emotion that I hate to see on any woman’s face. She’s never seen me angry.
My mother’s anguished face flashes through my mind as I rip open the refrigerator door and pull out a beer. I snap off the top, glaring at Elena as she stands in the kitchen, carefully avoiding my eyes.
I guzzle down the beer and feel it add to the pool of hot, burning guilt.
“Tony, I—I’m really sorry for all this. I know it must have been really difficult. It was hard for me, too.”
She’s just another girl who wants something from me. Why the fuck did I ever agree to do this? What amount of money is worth ruining my relationship with my mother, the only person I care about in the whole world?
“Oh, it was hard for you? Please, tell me how it was hard for you. My own mother slapped me. She expects me to keep my dick in my pants for our marriage.”
Her beautiful face whitens. “I like your mother, and I don’t want to see her get hurt. I’m not—I’m not proud of what I did.”
The heat burns down my throat as I swallow another mouthful. “I can’t fucking do this.”
“What? No, Tony, please—”
“I’m sorry, babe, but it’s just not worth it. I can’t do this. I can’t fuck one woman for three months, I can’t be a good husband, I can’t do any of the things you want me to do.”
She stares at me for a moment, flinching from my words. I hate that look on her face. I hate anything that makes me feel for her. An awful sound pierces through my chest as Elena tries to draw in breath. Then her body shakes and my chest caves in as she grabs my shoulders.
“Tell me what I have to do. I’ll do anything you want. Just don’t—please don’t—”
The vein on her forehead looks as if it’s going to blow, and then the smallest tear squeezes from her eye.
And I’m done.
Be good to her, Tony.
My mother’s voice snarls in my head and I wrap my arms around Elena’s body, unable to stomach the look of destruction on her face.
What if I don’t want to be good? I never gave a shit about being the good guy. Why should I now? Because she’s a great piece of ass?
“I’ll ask someone else,” she says finally.
“No.”
It bursts out of me immediately like a visceral reaction. Suddenly blood churns in my head as I think about her fucking some other made guy. No fucking way.
Fuck, I’m stuck with this chick. I couldn’t live with myself if I pawned her off to someone else. I’m not attached, but I want to possess her. She’s my prize, and I like having access to her pussy 24/7.
“I need more.”
She blinks. “I have more money.”
“I don’t give a shit about your money.” My hand curls underneath her jaw and a smile spreads across my face as I think about all the things I could get her to do for me.
I thought I was being the good guy for helping her out, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. Meeting my mother taught me that. It’s time to stop giving a fuck about being the good guy. Let’s face it, I’m an asshole. Always will be.
“You need to be mine—completely mine.”
She hiccups. “Well, we are getting married.”
I grope her tight ass and my cock stiffens in my slacks. “Yeah, but it’s not a real marriage. You don’t really belong to me, and that’s what’s bothering me.”
Her eyes widen as she looks at me. “What are you saying? You want to—you want it to be real?”
“No. I just don’t want your fucking money.”
“I—I don’t get understand.”
“It’s simple.” I take her beautiful face in my hands and my thumb runs along her bottom lip. “You want my help? Fine. I’ll take you as payment.”
Her mouth opens and my brain lurches, suddenly frozen. I want to kiss her. I want to fuck those perfect lips.
“What does that mean?”
“It means that you’re mine. Your body in exchange for being your husband.” I love the way her cheeks fill with color. For some reason, it turns me on to think that the sexy minx I brought home might actually be shy.
Because
breaking her in would be so goddamn fun.
“I hate the idea of being on loan for you.”
She makes a face. “Jesus. Is that what this is about? The fucking money? I thought you were a businessman. Who the hell cares how you make your money? It can’t be any worse than what you’ve already done.”
A surge of anger fills my chest, hot and disturbing. In the beginning, I thought it was smart. Hell, fifty grand to fuck some chick for a few months? Why not? I couldn’t see past my own dick, and I’ve already invested too much in this. Tommy knows about the money, which means there’s a risk that Johnny will find out.
And he can’t find out.
There’s also the fact that the moment I take her money, I become her employee. I’m hers, when it should be the other way around.
I can’t live like that.
“I don’t care about right and wrong. I’ve just changed my mind.”
Her eyes harden like dark gems. “Tell me why you want me to do this.”
“It’s the only way this will work. I need to be in control of you, sweetheart. If I don’t feel like I’m in control, I won’t be able to keep my dick in my pants. If I don’t do that, then everyone will know this is a complete sham.”
Elena nods and grits her teeth, looking pissed off. “What do you want?”
“There are things I’ve never tried with a girl that I’d love to try on you.”
“L—like what?”
Oh, like fucking you in front of a crowd of men.
“Things that might make you embarrassed.”
I sweep her hair over her neck as redness pricks across her cheeks. I think about Tommy’s bar, about the thrill I used to feel getting some random chick to scream my name. It pales in comparison to the thrill of what I could do with Elena.
I’m an asshole for doing this.
It’s time to embrace it.
ELENA
The sterling-silver metal egg rests in the palm of my hand, the coolness pleasant. I gaze into the mirror, and he stands behind me, his grinning face amused by my horror.
“You want me—you seriously want me to put this thing…”
“In your pussy, yes.”
He’s lost his goddamn mind.
Married to the Bad Boy Page 13
