“Good luck,” said Jake as Virgil headed out the door. “Nice seeing you again.”
Virgil didn’t look back.
Cramer glanced at Jake. “What’s going on?”
Jake frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Why the bad feelings between you and the sheriff?”
Jake shrugged.
Cramer shook his head, glancing back at the crowd. “Guess I’m supposed to find out the old-fashioned way, eh?”
“Pierce wasn’t born with a limp,” said Pam, handing Jake a cup of punch and a sandwich.
“What happened?”
“Mandi thinks Rich did it, but that Pierce’s afraid to tell. But Rich claims he’s innocent and Claude, Rich’s cousin, swears that Rich was with him at the time. So there were never any charges.”
“Rich and Mandi had already split?”
“They separated when Pierce was only three. But Rich kept . . . going back. Until Mandi finally got a restraining order.”
“Where’s Rich now?”
“He lives up along the old Burnout road in a trailer with your second cousin Carly.”
“Carly and Rich?”
“Carly comes from the really rotten side of the Crowley family, that’s for sure.”
“That’s not a Christian attitude, is it?” said Jake, smiling.
“A slut’s a slut,” said Pam, shaking her head and looking quickly around the church. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. You know, you look at Mandi just the way you did fourteen years ago. It breaks my heart to see the two of you so close and yet apart.”
Jake stared into his punch, but there was no escape in the paper cup. “Mandi and I just didn’t work out.”
“You mean because you had to get out of the valley.”
He nodded.
“You know, Jake, family and friends are to share troubles, not to hide them from.”
“What about protecting family and friends?”
She shrugged. “Sometimes we don’t want to be protected.”
“Mandi and I were a long time ago.”
“I guess old girlfriends are trouble,” said Pam, eyeing him.
“You’re trouble,” said Jake.
Pierce pretended to pay attention to Pastor Ernie as he spelled out silly questions.
How’s things been going?
Good.
What you been reading?
Lord of the Rings.
But Pierce was preoccupied with the vibration of the crowd walking, the movement of the air around him, and more than that by the feeling that the presence he had sensed in front of his window was close by. Finally Ernie let him go, and Pierce sniffed the air.
Many people he recognized by their smell. Occasionally someone would place their hand on his shoulder, and he’d grip it. Others he’d pull toward him until he could run his fingers over their face. Then he’d smile, take their hand under his, and slowly spell out their names in their palms by way of greeting. His mother must have noticed that something was still wrong because she tried to divert him by taking his hand and signing for other people as they came up to say hi. But he didn’t want to be distracted. He shook her hand hard to accent his need.
I don’t know what’s happening, honey, she signed back. Maybe we should see the doctor.
Pierce shrugged. Dr. Burton was okay, but what was she going to know about something he was hearing inside his head? Because that was what it was, not hearing like other people did it. He knew that. He imagined it might be the way they would remember a sound. But he didn’t have any memories of sounds. Not until now.
Cramer heard something weird, too, she spelled. Out in the woods today.
Pierce’s head popped up. Anyone who didn’t know him might have thought he was searching the crowd. Really?
He said he did.
Probably just wanted to make me feel better, spelled Pierce, shaking his head.
He told me before I told him about you.
Pierce paused. It felt really bad.
Bad how?
Like sometimes when I have nightmares.
She squeezed his arm, then signed slowly. Nothing bad’s here. And nothing bad’s going to happen to you. Not ever again.
He nodded, really wanting to believe her. She had always taken care of him, protected him—except that once, and that wasn’t her fault—and she never lied to him. Never. But this time he knew she was stretching things just a little. Something was really bothering her.
What are you afraid of, then? he signed.
Her grip tightened almost imperceptibly, and he sensed the minute hesitation before she replied.
Someone else was killed.
Here?
No. Down by the highway. A teenage girl.
Pierce nodded slowly.
It doesn’t have anything to do with what you’ve been . . . hearing, signed Mandi. You don’t believe that, do you?
This time it was his turn to hesitate.
I don’t know.
She slipped her hand out from under his, and he sensed her moving away. His end of the building felt suddenly empty. The crowd had milled away. He could still detect aftershave, deodorant, tuna fish salad, coffee, and other odors that lingered even though their original owners had wafted away. But when his mother told him to stay in one place, Pierce stayed. He’d learned that lesson the hard way.
When he was a toddler he had always had the entire bottom floor of their house to be independent in, but he was not allowed upstairs. By the time he was five he’d explored every inch of the first level and even the yard outside in minute detail, and then—one day while his mother was at work and the baby-sitter was sleeping soundly on the back porch—he’d climbed the mountainous stairs. He’d rummaged inch by inch through his mother’s sleeping loft, fingering the soft wool blanket on the bed, sniffing every bottle of perfume and nail polish. Every drawer was inspected, every item of clothing, every piece of liner paper. He discovered two windows whose existence he had suspected due to drafts through the house, finding his way to them by the smell of pine on the breeze and the warmth of the sun.
Finally, growing bored and hungry, he had wound his way back to the stairs, careful to approach along the wall, his fingers playing across it like spider feet, his toes tapping rhythmically ahead. When he reached the first step he started to squat and slide down on his butt. Suddenly powerful fingers gripped his shoulders, lifting him off the floor. He flailed for balance but found nothing solid with his hands or his feet, and then he was flung like a piece of wadded wastepaper into the air. For the merest instant he was afraid he’d been thrown into some even deeper darkness, where there was nothing to touch and nothing to smell or taste, forever.
His hand shot through the banister at the same instant his shoulder struck a step. He felt a sickening crunch as his arm was ripped out of its socket, and then pain flared all over his body as he continued head over heels down the stairs. Finally there was a dull thud and then merciful oblivion. When he came to he was in an unfamiliar bed, but his hand was clutched tightly in his mother’s, and she was signing forcefully to him that nothing like that would ever happen to him again. Every time she removed her signing hand and then replaced it, he sensed the dampness of tears on her fingertips.
It had taken months of painful rehabilitation for him to relearn to walk.
Now he waited patiently in a brightly lit corner of the church surrounded by utter silence and darkness, sensing that—for all his mother’s reassurances—the world outside was growing darker still. And there was nothing at all that she could do about it.
RNIE WALKED MANDI and Pierce to their car. “Thanks again,” he said, patting her on the shoulder as she slipped behind the wheel.
She looked out toward the dark woods. “You know I’m always happy to help.”
Ernie frowned. “Why don’t you and Pierce come and stay with Pam and me for a while?”
She considered the offer for a moment. “No. You’ve got company already. We’ll be al
l right.”
“Maybe you two shouldn’t be alone right now.”
“We’ll be fine,” said Mandi. “I’ll keep the doors locked. And I’ll call if I get nervous.”
He lightly touched her arm. “All right. You do that, then. But drive careful. If you change your mind you just hop back in the car and head on up, any time, day or night.”
“Thanks, Ernie,” she said, rolling up her window as he backed away and waved.
She pulled down the long drive, following Barbara’s ancient Buick. Why anyone would live in the north woods and own a dinosaur like that, Mandi couldn’t understand. Her own Subaru was eight years old, but at least it had four-wheel drive. As the old lady pulled away up the valley, Mandi turned toward home.
But she couldn’t help but think about the young hitchhiker. What if she had stopped to pick the girl up or offered her a place to stay for the night? She would probably be alive right now instead of lying on a cold morgue table. She was someone’s little girl. . ..
But Mandi knew there was only so much room in her heart for guilt. And for eight years—ever since Pierce’s accident—it had been overflowing. She had made the choice between offering assistance to a stranger and rushing home to take care of Pierce. She would always make the same decision.
Without the other car ahead to help light the way the forest loomed ominously all around. She glanced at Pierce, but he was facing out the window.
Just then a large buck shot out of the trees, almost colliding with her grille. She slammed on the brakes, reaching for Pierce at the same time. The tires slung gravel, and the woods seemed suddenly closer. Pierce grasped her hand, questioning her with his fingers, but she ignored him, bending to peer through the windshield as they coasted down the road.
She pulled over to catch her breath, Pierce still signing feverishly into her hand. She signed back, trying not to shake, but she knew he would read her anxiety.
What happened? he asked.
We almost hit a deer.
Wow.
She squinted, trying to see into the dark forest. Why had the animal burst out of the woods like that? She thought of Cramer’s grizzly bear and smiled. But the buck was definitely running from something.
Is it gone? signed Pierce.
Yes.
Too bad.
Too bad we didn’t hit it?
We could have had barbecued deer.
She shoved his shoulder, and he grinned.
They rest of the ride home was uneventful, but as Mandi climbed out of the car she continued watching the woods, barely managing to shrug off her anxiety while she waited for Pierce to make his way up the ramp into the house. She flicked on the kitchen lights as he headed for the bathroom. Pouring herself a glass of milk from the fridge, she stared out the window into the night. As she sipped the milk she sensed Jake slipping back into her mind.
She couldn’t help but compare what she had shared with Jake with the life she had had with Rich. The two were like opposite poles of a magnet. Jake had always been so gentle, sweet, and loving, while Rich wanted her for only one thing. Being so close to Jake tonight had been wonderful and painful at the same time. Regardless of what she had said to him, she had known in her heart all along that whatever had driven him from the valley, it hadn’t been another woman. And tonight in his eyes she’d seen the same old hurt she knew was there in her own. What terrible wedge had driven them apart? She’d been over their last night together so many times that she wondered if she even remembered it correctly any longer. There was just no reason for him to suddenly wake up and insist that he was leaving. But that was what had happened.
The toilet flushed, and the bathroom door rattled as Pierce headed for his bedroom. She heard him digging for his pajamas, and she strolled over to the bedroom door. He was standing beside the bed in his briefs, neatly folding each item of clothing before setting it on the bedside table. Then he slipped on his pjs and tucked himself in. She waited until he’d signed his prayers, then took his hands.
Nothing bad’s here, she signed. And nothing bad’s going to happen to you. Not ever again.
He nodded slowly.
Good night, she signed, holding one hand against her cheek.
Love you, he signed back, smiling.
You, too.
She left the door open a crack and flipped off the light.
As she climbed the stairs she noticed that the moon had disappeared behind the clouds, making the night dark as pitch, and the window was covered with a thin mist.
Pierce could still feel the residual touch of his mother’s fingers in his palms.
Nothing bad’s here. And nothing bad’s going to happen to you. Not ever again.
But as much as he knew that she loved him and would die to protect him, he wasn’t sure what she could do. He lay stiffly beneath the covers, sensing the dark presence on the other side of his window.
But instead of just quivering in fear, he let his mind roam, trying to understand what it was that stared through the window, and what it wanted. Once again he discovered tangled almost-thoughts that made no sense, and then something beyond thoughts, almost like something he could understand.
Suddenly he experienced the all-too-familiar and terrible feeling of being alone in some darkness where there were no smells, no vibrations, no tastes, just a horrible empty void. And then into that emptiness came the same presence that hovered outside his window. He could feel it reaching out for him, testing him in some way that he couldn’t quite understand. It wanted something from him, and he knew that it would kill to get it. But he didn’t know what it was that the thing needed. And he knew that there was no way his mother or anyone else could protect him.
It was up to him to protect them.
And suddenly he felt very small and alone.
FTER BREAKFAST, Pam asked what he and Cramer had planned, and Jake shrugged. “Why not run into Arcos and say hello to Mandi? Her office is right downtown.”
Jake shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“She missed you, Jake.”
He hadn’t gotten that feeling last night. More than likely she hated his guts and just covered it real well. It was probably better that way.
“You just gonna hide out here all the time?”
“I’m not hiding just because I don’t want to pester an old girlfriend.”
“I thought you two were a little more than that.”
Jake frowned, but she was right. He and Mandi had been a lot more than just boyfriend and girlfriend. He wasn’t sure what to call it, but soul mates had always sounded too feeble to explain what they’d shared.
“What did I say that finally caused you to cave and come back?” Pam asked, surprising Jake by bringing up the subject in front of Cramer. And Cramer seemed to be enjoying the conversation far too much this time to let something like simple etiquette force him to leave.
“Respect for Albert,” he muttered.
“I can appreciate that,” she said, letting him know with her eyes that she knew there was more to it than that. “I really am glad you came.”
“You aren’t acting like it.”
“How do you want me to act?” she asked, setting a pan in the drainer.
“I don’t know why I said that. I’m sorry.”
“Are you gonna visit his grave?”
“I guess I should. Is he in the family cemetery?”
“Close to your mother,” she said quietly.
Jake stared at Cramer.
“I’ll warm up the car,” said Cramer, rising at last.
Jake watched him go, wondering again why he’d come. It seemed incredibly unlikely that Jimmy Torrio would be stupid enough to follow them to Maine. But he sensed that Cramer felt somehow as though he’d let Jake down on the beach, even though the whole thing was Jake’s fault. Cramer was like that, although he’d never admit it.
“That’s what family does,” said Pam.
“You reading my thoughts?”
; “I don’t have to. I could see it in your face. You were wondering why he took care of you.”
She really could read him. She’d always been able to. Only his deepest, darkest thoughts were hidden from her. And sometimes he feared that she might be able to read them, as well.
“I tried to get you to come back to work out the thing that’s inside you, Jake,” she whispered. “So that we could all help you work it out. If you want to leave again after that, then fine.”
“What if it’s not something that can be worked out?” he asked, fighting to keep his voice steady. “What if it’s not that easy?”
She squeezed his arm before giving him a nudge toward the front door. “I never said it was going to be easy. Nothing worth doing ever is.”
The family cemetery clung to the slope of the largest of the mountains that rimmed the valley like worn dragon’s teeth. Jake stood with one hand resting on his mother’s simple stone, looking across at Albert’s grave, still too fresh for a monument. The smell of earth and flowers hung in the air, interwoven with the clean scent of the surrounding pines. As Jake surveyed the valley rolling away beneath them he felt empty, as though he were standing in the center of some infinite black space with another even more powerful vacuum inside of him. For almost a decade and a half he had hidden from his family and friends for their own good, or so he thought. Fourteen years of living like a hermit, of not hearing familiar voices, of not touching a single one of his family. Incongruously, he had discovered a modicum of peace in a very dangerous and potentially violent profession. But at least in Houston he had believed that he had distanced himself far enough that he would not be the cause of danger to those he loved.
And now he’d never see Albert again. Had he made the right choice? His mind wandered to Mandi, and he blinked back a tear. He’d given up so much.
“Albert taught me how to use a chain saw and how to drive a bulldozer,” he mused.
“Nice talents to have. How about table manners?” Cramer said.
Jake smiled. “Albert wasn’t much on those. He taught me how to be a man.”
In Shadows Page 7
