Chapter 18
When I finally get back to the hotel I am so glad I couldn’t bare another minute of sitting in the car in silence with Adrian sitting there on his phone. I didn’t even turn my head to look at him on the way back. I would not give him the satisfaction. His fury only showed when he got so annoyed with whatever was on his phone that he threw it to the floor. I haven’t seen this side to him he keeps telling me he is bad maybe I should start to believe him. The staff at the hotel greet us with such happiness that only hotel staff can fake. Adrian doesn’t even see them he just marches straight into the elevator and me I simply follow behind him. All the time I am thinking of how annoyed I am with him I can’t begin to take it in one minute he was fine and buying me Rolex’s and the next he is throwing me over his shoulder and shouting at me. Maybe Sophie is right maybe he is a psycho! He opens the door and waits for me to come in behind him. He walks over to the lounge area and stands there waiting for me to come over. I walk over but make sure I keep my distance from him. He doesn’t say word he just stands there looking at me. I shake my head at him the least he could do is apologies. But nothing comes out of his mouth just a blank stare on his face. I take a long look at him feeling so annoyed that I turn my back and walk furiously along the hallway to my room I slam the door behind me loud enough for him to hear. I take off my shoes and through myself onto the bed. As I lay there I have flashes back to today how happy the morning started out then of how sour it turned. If he loves me like he says he does then he has a funny way of showing it. He really hurt me today when he pulled me along like that. I have no words to describe how annoyed I feel with him. I sit up onto the bed and look across the room. Why is he so controlling? He has to know where I am all the time he sent his step brother over from London to protect and look after me. He wasn’t happy about me talking to Marco and made sure that I didn’t anymore. And now as I look at the room did he even control where I stayed to rest after my hospital visit? There are many places I could have gone I could have stayed at my room at the dorm after all it wasn’t college that had me so stressed. It was him and the way he had me scared. Ever since I have been with him I feel like I am not myself I was once a feisty little blonde that took nothing from no one. But now I am scared little girl who does whatever a gorgeous dangerous man from London says. Even my friendship with Sophie has been ruined I feel I can’t talk to her about anything because he gets in the way. I can’t listen to a single bad word she has to say about him. Maybe I can’t handle her telling me the truth. But even though I am feeling this way I still can’t help the way I feel about him. I love him so much that I can’t bear it I can’t think about anything else but him. He is my world he is the air that I breathe but I cannot let him control me the way he does. I can’t take all the secrets that he has. I know I try to put it out of my mind but it doesn’t go away. Every time I see that black Lamborghini I can’t help but think of what he has done for someone to want to kill someone he loves kill is what he fears the most that’s the reason he got so worked up today he knows that if something were to happen to me that it would be his fault for loving me. I need to know what his secret is I won’t go on with him not knowing. Why should I put my life at risk for someone that is not even being honest with me? Why do I think that it is even normal that I would risk my life for someone? Would he do the same? Has he got me as messed up as him? Bleep!! My phone I reach over to my bag and take out my iPhone I have a new message from Sophie it says,
Alanna I am sorry for the other day I would love to talk and put all this behind us. A tear begins to run down my face as I write my reply,
Sophie I am sorry for the things I said can you forgive me?
It’s me who should be saying sorry I didn’t even give Adriana chance I am sure he is a lovely guy!
I want to talk to Sophie about everything but I can’t. I decide I will tell her about today’s events but leaving out some of the major details.
I can’t say that I am happy with him right now.
Why what did he do?
He annoyed me today.
Do you want to talk about it?
Yes, you are right he tries to control everything I feel like he maybe sees me as an object and not a person. I still am madly in love with him but I would like to get back some of the control.
I got that vibe from him as soon as I saw him I think it mainly has to do with the fact that he is a very successful business man he is used to controlling people all the time maybe you should talk to him about it?
I am not even talking to him right now.
Alanna is there more that you are not telling me?
I wish I could tell her yes there is more but instead,
No he is wonderful and I feel lucky to have him it’s maybe just because I am not used to people like him I will figure it out. Alanna if there is ever anything you want to talk about then know that I am here.
Thanks!
Now go patch things up with Romeo!
I will try, speak to you soon. I am so glad that I have made up with Sophie at least that is one thing off my mind. I put my phone on the side table next to the bed. My mind is spinning right now I can’t think. I start to feel a little dizzy again so I lay fully down on the bed. As I do I start to remember his face the way he looks at me. I would just love to know what his secret is. I will not stop until I know He has to tell me I will not let it go. I must a have fallen asleep because I wake up and I am fully clothed. I glance over to the clock beside the bed its 4.30 in the afternoon and I am starving. I get up and fix my hair a little and walk over to the door. I open it trying not to make a sound. I look all around and Adrian is nowhere to be seen. So I quietly walk into the lounge area and over to the table where there is still some food from this morning. I take a few berries and pop them in my mouth. “You know you can order room service” I hear a sarcastic voice behind me. I turn around and Adrian is standing there gazing at me. “Yes I am aware” “are you still mad at me?” I roll my eyes and turn away from him. “The fact that you even have to ask that question is shocking to me” “alanna I am sorry ok but I panicked and I just wanted to get you out of there” “you hurt me my arm is throbbing” “I will never forgive myself for that here I am trying to stop you from getting hurt but at the same time I hurt you” “I think it’s time you told me everything” “I can’t I won’t alanna” “I see in your face that you have changed your opinion of me so I can’t bear how you will feel once you know the truth” “Adrian you run that risk either way” “do you not love me anymore after what I did to you?” “Love doesn’t just go away Adrian I do love you but I do need to know the truth” “and I wish I could tell you but I can’t alanna so please can you stop” “Adrian if you don’t give me something then I will have to walk out that door” “sit down!” I sit wondering if this was it was this the moment Adrian was going to finally tell me?” “You know about Alice and the way she was right? “Yes” “when I was nine Alice started to bring this bloke over to the house his name was David and he was ten years older than her. David was the type of man that wasn’t from the right side of things. His family had connections to gangsters and drug lords from all around London. He began to stay one or two nights a week then he finally moved in for good. The time he spent with Alice was taken up by drinking and taking drugs he would get so high that he didn’t know what he was doing he would start to beat Alice then eventually come find me and do the same. He would beat me so hard and Alice just let him. And it wasn’t just the beatings he would light up a joint and hold me down and force it into my mouth. By the time I was ten I was hooked on marijuana and again all this never seemed to bother Alice. she would lock me in the cupboards for hours on end I would hear them scream and things would get broken Alice would shout out that she hated him and she wanted him out then usually there would be a slapping noise and everything would go quiet. The next morning or during the night Alice would let me out and she would always be beaten her face was never without some bruises or cuts. A
nd I was usually the same. If I was around when David was beating Alice even though she did everything she did to me I would always try to fight him off her and be caught in the middle of it. I have scares all over my body from David he was an evil man that never showed any remorse for what he did. Even when he was sober he never showed anything but pure hatred of me and Alice” “Adrian I can’t begin to imagine all this you were hooked on drugs at the age of ten? How did you get away from all that?” “when I went into foster care I had to do six weeks of rehab at the age of twelve, I don’t want you to think of me like this” “but Adrian it’s your story and I know that it’s not a good one but it’s what makes you who you are” “I am not that person anymore alanna” “all this still doesn’t explain why there are people after you” “I know it doesn’t but if you think hard enough about it then you will come to figure it out for yourself” “ I can’t I want you to tell me” “look at me, I will tell you one day all about it but for now I need you to please let it go” “it will take me sometime to process all this” “take as much time as you need” Adrian begins to get up and I pull him back. “Wait I still have other things I need to say” “yes alanna” he sits back down I can’t help but notice his vulnerability. “you are very controlling over me” “I know I am controlling but its only because I love you and I feel so guilty about everything” “but Adrian the way you grabbed me and threw me over your shoulder like that it wasn’t normal” “I know it wasn’t I have a temper that will shock you” “Adrian why are you like that?” “I guess it’s because I never had any control of anything in my childhood I couldn’t control Alice I could control the beatings from David I couldn’t control myself around drugs so now I try to take control of everything when I can I never want to end up like that again” “Adrian I will never do anything to hurt you I am not Alice!” “You are the very opposite of what she is, I know that you will make a wonderful mother you will treat your kids like gold and never hurt them.” “ I would never hurt anyone at least of all a child, but I did see Alice she didn’t seem like she was on drugs or anything like that I just thought she was an old lady sitting buy the beach have you ever thought about maybe seeing her again? ” “No there is no way I will ever look her in the eye again, she has ruined my life she rained blow after blow on me and never thought to say sorry when she wasn’t abusing me she let David do it instead, she is an awful person and she will never been in my life” “what if I see her?” “Alanna she will not be in your life either, you have to promise me that you will never see her again” “there you go with the control thing again” “yes alanna you make me control you with the silly ideas you get into your head” “why are you getting so angry it was only a suggestion” “alanna have you been listing to nothing I have been saying this woman battered me she starved me how could you want to see her?” “I don’t but you are obviously still carrying all this around with you even though you are a self-made millionaire with your own company and tons of respect maybe if you could just see her again you would get some closer and you could finally move on” “those memories are going to stay with me for life, I know you are only trying to help and I am grateful that you care but I know how to handle this I can be happy as long as I am with you” “I will make you happy” “alanna can you forgive me for today?” “Yes” he takes me in his arms and kisses me like he never has before.
Chapter 19
For the last 48 hours I have been alone in this hotel room with Adrian. We have talked so much that I really feel like now I know him. Along with the talking there has been numerous kissing sessions and countless movies have been watched. I have eaten like never before and I sleep like never before. Dreaming constantly about Adrian and what our life will be like together. I have never thought about marriage and kids but now that I am with Adrian it’s always in my mind somewhere. I have had dreams about our kids a beautiful little boy with the same look as Adrian, a little girl with hair fairer than the sun. I know it’s only a dream but sometimes I wish it was a reality. Sometimes I wake to tears wanting it so bad. I never thought that I could feel like this in such a short space of time but I am totally infatuated with him. Today is the last day that Adrian is in New York he has been here for four days now but it seems like a month. We have been through so much and I have learned new things about him. I now understand why he is the way he is. And every time I think of his mother Alice and that awful creature that is David I feel sick to my stomach. Who could ever do all those things to an innocent child? What kind of sick twisted brain must Alice have to allow a strange man to abuse her only son like that? I will never understand her. I still find it hard that Adrian was hooked on drugs at the age of ten. The feeling he must have gone through when he was being brought off them the pain and the need, Doesn’t even bare to think about. However I can’t help but admire him for the way he has built up a life for himself. The business the company the millions. He has said to me that he would have given it all up to have a happy loving childhood but he deserves the success he deserves the power he deserves everything he has. There is one person that Adrian will always be grateful to and that is Mr. Jenkins. He took him out of foster care and made him his son. He treated him too well and showed him life. Adrian says that he would be sleeping in a gutter without a penny and still hooked on drugs if it wasn’t for him. His wife took a little while to warm up to Adrian but when she did she loved him. And Michael he is and always will be Adrian’s brother. I can’t help but wonder about chad the other brother. Who was he? What happened for him to fall out with family?
Three Thousand Miles To You Page 12
