by K. G. Reuss
“Ew!” I swatted at him. “You’re so gross!”
“You like it.” He chuckled. “Besides, I’m sure once you ask Shepherd out, he’s going to take you to the backseat of his car anyway.”
“He’s not like that.” I shook my head as we got into Corbin’s car.
“Yeah, right,” Corbin snorted.
“He’s not,” I said firmly. Corbin only gave me a smirk and a headshake. Whatever. I knew Brax. Maybe he used to be that way, but that was then. This was now. And I was going to jump in head first and just ask him out. Corbin was right. I might not wake up tomorrow. I could die at any moment. Anyone could! I wanted to live a happy life or at least one without regrets. And not asking Brax out would be a huge regret.
“Here.” Corbin thrust a flask of alcohol at me. “Drink.”
“We’re in a moving vehicle!” I hissed at him, pushing his hand away. It was just like him to try to get me to do something dangerous. “We’ll get into trouble.”
“Or we’ll die trying.” He grinned at me, his green eyes lighting up at the prospect of chaos. I took the flask from him and swallowed down a burning mouthful of the foul-tasting beverage.
“You’re a really bad influence, you know that?” I coughed, the beverage snaking down my throat like hot lava.
“Mission accomplished.” His lips curled into a devious smile as the car shot forward. “You’re going to thank me later. You’ll feel relaxed for the big moment.”
He was right. I was a mess, all nerved up and shaking. I needed something to relax me. I took another swallow, my insides burning.
“You got this. You’re going to do great.”
“Why do I feel like I’m a fighter in a cage match and you’re my trainer, giving me a pep talk?” I rubbed my hands together nervously, my body already buzzing from the alcohol.
“Because I am.” He looked at me innocently before pulling his car into Brax’s driveway. We both stared up at the house for a moment before our eyes met.
“You really are beautiful.” Corbin smiled at me, his voice soft. “Someone needs to be looking out for you better. They’re doing a terrible job at it.”
“Well, that’s why I have you.” I gave him a tiny smile. “Right?”
“Oh, Maggie,” he sighed. “Come on, you naïve little angel. Let’s get you inside.”
I giggled, not even caring what he was talking about. I had way too much on my mind regarding how I was going to ask Brax out. I’d never asked out anyone in my entire life. I was treading into unknown territory.
“What did I tell you?” Corbin asked as we stopped on the edge of the large living room, bodies moving around us as they laughed and danced to the professional DJ Brax had hired. The place looked incredible. There was even a coffin cooler in the corner.
“That I should be more confident,” I stated.
“And?”
“And that I worry too much and need to focus more on what I want,” I recalled everything we had talked about.
“So, what are you waiting for?” Corbin asked.
“I don’t know,” I said in a rush. “It just feels weird. Do I just walk up to him and ask him?”
“Why not?”
“What if he says no?” I fretted, my heart hammering painfully in my chest. God, how would I handle him telling me no? Maybe the window of his attraction to me had left!
“He won’t. But you’ll never know if you don’t ask. So, go. I’m going to make my rounds. Let’s hope we don’t see each other later. Because if we do—”
“Then I really do suck, and I failed.” I laughed weakly.
“You can do this,” Corbin encouraged. “Have fun.” He didn’t wait for me to reply. He walked away, probably to go refill his flask. I was left standing there, twisting my hands nervously together.
Breathe, Maggie. Just breathe! You can do this!
Chapter 55
I turned to go find Brax and nearly ran into him.
“Hey,” Brax greeted me, smiling. “Want a drink?”
“Hey,” I answered, excited that he’d found me before I could chicken out. “Um, sure.”
“Yeah?” He handed me a drink, and I took a sip and frowned.
“Don’t like it?”
“Um, no. It’s gross,” I laughed, feeling ridiculously nervous. “I guess I’m in the minority when it comes to drinking beer. I think it’s nasty.”
“Can I tell you a secret?” He leaned into me, his scent engulfing me.
“Sure.”
“No one really likes it. It tastes like bottled ass. They all just drink it to fit in.”
“Is that true?” I asked, giving him a smile.
“Probably,” he shrugged. We both grew quiet for a moment. “So… You and Corbin, huh?”
“What?” I asked, surprised at the question No. No! Don’t get the wrong idea! “No. Um, he just gave me a ride here. We’re just friends.”
“Really? You two seem close,” Brax continued, clearly interested in it.
“Not really,” I replied with a shrug. “We just talk sometimes. He’s not a bad guy.”
We both grew quiet for a moment before Brax spoke.
“Want to dance?” he blurted out.
“Yes.” I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face. “Glad to see you’re changing your stance on dancing. You’re really quite good at it.”
He smiled at me and took my hand, leading me out to the makeshift dance floor. I wasted no time winding my arms around his neck. He was so much taller than me. A lot like Lance in that respect.
“How have you been?” he asked, leaning in.
“Terrible,” I admitted. “But it could be worse.”
“It could be.” He gave me a small, reassuring smile. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too.” I moved closer to him and rested my head on his chest. Still no heartbeat. I brushed it off as the music being too loud. But it was a nagging thought that wouldn’t leave me. It didn’t matter what it meant because he’d never hurt me. Faith not hope.
“You look amazing tonight,” he whispered in my ear. “I love your costume.”
“I thought of you when I picked it out,” I admitted bashfully, going up on my tiptoes so I could speak in his ear. He dipped his head the rest of the way down to hear me.
“Did you? Why’s that?” he asked.
“I don’t know.” I let out a breathy, nervous laugh. “You always call me angel. It just felt right.”
He let out a soft chuckle, pulling me closer to him.
Ask him! Just ask him out!
“I like your costume too. What are you?” I asked, deciding to go a different route. He was beautiful with his inky black wings and dark eyeliner.
"What do you think I am?" he teased.
"I-I don't know. Are you a goth bird?" I asked, not knowing what to say. It was the first thing that popped into my head, and I was immediately mortified.
"No, angel. I'm not a goth bird. I'm a demon." He stiffened in my arms for a moment as I regarded him. He could be sent straight from Hell to take my soul, and I’d still stand at his side. That was a testament to my feelings.
"I like it." I grinned at him. "I think you look beautiful."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." I nodded, feeling unusually happy.
"Thank you, sweetheart. You made my night,” he said, relaxing against me. I looked at him for a moment, drinking him in.
"What is it?" he asked.
"You're beautiful, but your outfit’s missing something.” He needed a halo. Brax wasn’t all sin and greed and whatever else it was that demons did. He needed a bright spot on him to match his soul.
“It is?” He looked miffed.
I pulled away, removed my halo, and placed it on his head.
“Perfect.” I smiled sweetly at him before going back to holding him. He looked every bit the part of a broken angel. He needed that halo more than I did. Something told me it would mean more to him to wear it.
“You th
ink I need a halo?” he whispered hoarsely. His next words were barely audible, “What about angel wings?”
“Yes.” I smiled up at him. “And the angel wings will come in time. Tonight, they’re mine.”
“They sure are,” he replied, studying me for a moment. “Maggie?”
“Hmm?” I asked, my head against his chest again. I had to ask him out. My window of time was slipping by as the party really started picking up the pace. Inhaling deeply, I resolved to ask when the song ended. Before he walked away, I was going to do it.
“I’d like to take you out on a date. Would you go out with me?” His body was stiff in my arms again.
“I was just about to ask you the same question.” My heart hammered like a drum in my chest as I looked up at him. If my heart and soul could’ve been doing flips in my body, I’m sure they would have.
“Is that a yes?” A grin spread across his face.
“Yes.” I laughed and went up on my tiptoes to plant a tender kiss on his cheek. He closed his eyes and pulled me closer. And like any fool falling in love, I embraced him right back.
Chapter 56
I was on cloud nine, whatever that meant. I’d never been so ecstatic in all my life. He’d asked me out!
When I awoke well-rested the next morning, I was still smiling.
“Why are you so happy?” Alan asked as I washed my mom’s wine glass from last night.
“I-I have a date tonight,” I answered, knowing better than to lie. If he was going to beat me, he may as well do it before I left.
“That Lance kid?” he asked gruffly.
“Um, no. W-we broke up a few weeks ago,” I said, placing the glass in the strainer and ringing out the dishrag. “I’m going out with Brax Shepherd.”
“Another football hero,” Alan snorted. I didn’t say anything in return. Let him think what he wanted. I let out a gasp of surprise when he gripped my arm tightly and spun me around to face him.
“Don’t forget what happens to bad little girls when they lie to their daddies,” he growled at me. The stench from last night’s drinking binge still on his breath made me nauseous. “Better yet…” He brushed my hair aside and licked his lips. “I think I want you to mess up. Because the next time you do, I’ll be taking from you what they all want.”
“Please,” I whimpered as his grip tightened.
“I’ve raised you. You’re mine,” he hissed, his lips skimming along my jaw, making me quiver. I squeezed my eyes together tightly, my breathing sharp and ragged.
“Don’t-please, don’t, Alan—”
“Don’t call me that!” he snapped, pushing me against the counter. I let out a cry of pain as my side connected with the sharp corner. He was on me in seconds, his hand fisting my hair, my head pulled painfully back. “I’m Dad. Call me Daddy.”
I moaned as his grip tightened.
“SAY IT!” he bellowed as I started to cry.
“Daddy,” I choked out.
He let out a laugh that echoed around us.
“That’s right. I’m your daddy,” he said just as his cell phone rang. He gave me a wicked smile before backing away. “Keep your legs closed, Magdalena. Don’t be a whore like your mother.”
I let out a breath of relief as he left the room, his phone in hand.
Chapter 57
I don’t know what I expected really from a date with Brax. I was so nervous waiting for him to arrive. And the nerves increased when he turned to drive out of town. Alan had taken me and my mom on a ride once. That experience ended with my mom drinking the entire way and me running away when he pulled over, so he and Mom could scream at one another. In the dark, I’d rushed through the woods, just wanting to escape the nightmare. Then he found me. I got the worst beating ever when we got home. Thankfully it was summer, because I was unable to get out of bed for a week afterwards.
I stuffed down the anxiousness the setting elicited. I had nothing to fear out there alone with Brax. I was so glad I didn’t protest the outing. Brax took me to sit beneath the stars. He was so amazing. He even packed us a picnic dinner that he cooked just for me. My heart was so full as I rested my head against him and stared up at the stars. The only thing missing was the rhythmic thump of his heart in my ear. In that moment, I decided not to worry about his lack of a heartbeat. He was different. In my heart, I’d known that from the moment we’d met. And I didn’t care. I wanted different. I craved it.
Deep down, I knew something was coming. And somehow, he was the center of it. Still, I clung to him, falling deeper into a hole I’d never get out of. That I never wanted to get out of. Brax was it for me, regardless of who or what he was. Despite the terrible beginning to my night, it ended magically—beneath a blanket of stars, snuggled up with Brax, my heart beating enough for two.
As the days drifted by, I began to feel different. Sure, my feelings were blossoming tremendously for Brax, but it felt like more. Like I was waking up from a bad dream. He’d brought so much happiness and light into my life, that I knew if he walked away it would kill me.
By our second date, we could hardly stay away from one another for more than a breath. He let me pick our outing, so I did. I wanted him to dance, so I chose a dance and karaoke club. When he sang to me in front of hundreds of people, my entire world changed. I went from falling for him to crashing into him.
I was in love.
And I think he was too, but we were both far too awkward to admit it aloud, so we said it without words. And without kisses.
But I wanted to. I had to. I felt like I had a damn within me, ready to burst. I wanted to scream it. I wanted everyone to know that I was in love with him. And he loved me. It was different than it had been with Lance. The pull was there with Brax where it had been missing with Lance. And it was taking over me.
It was exactly as I’d pictured it being.
As wonderful as those first few weeks were, the excitement gradually began to fade. It was like being on the fastest, most exhilarating rollercoaster. But the ride always has to end. Brax was becoming distant. He smiled and squeezed my hand. He texted me and said he missed me. But it was like something was on his mind. Something that was eating at him. And in turn, it ate at me.
I finally decided to seek advice from the one who’d encouraged me to go after Brax in the first place. “What do you think’s wrong with him?” I asked Corbin as I sat down on his couch. He handed me a glass of water before sitting beside me.
“He’s a fucking asshole,” Corbin replied. I let out a sigh and rolled my eyes at him. Even though he’d pushed us together, he still hated him.
“Listen, princess, he’s in perpetual hell, OK? And he fucking has it bad for you. I imagine none of his choices are easy ones,” Corbin clarified as he sipped his beverage, which I was sure was of the alcoholic persuasion.
“What choices?” I grumbled. “There aren’t any!”
“Trust me. There are,” Corbin answered dryly, looking away from me. We both grew quiet for a moment. When he spoke again, his voice was low, “I need to ask you something.”
“OK.” I sat forward, placed my glass on the table, and looked at him. He seemed serious, which was off for him.
“Are you sure Brax is the one?”
“Of course,” I answered, confused. Why was he asking that now? We’d spoken for weeks about it. Corbin knew my feelings before I did.
“Forever?” He raised a brow at me.
“Why are you asking me this?” I frowned at him. “What’s going on?”
“What if there was someone else?”
“There isn’t,” I answered firmly. “There never will be.”
Corbin gave me a sad smile before looking down at his hands. “We’ve had a good run, Westbrook. Better than I’ve ever had before. You’re a good girl.”
“What’s going on, Corbin? You’re acting really weird.” I reached out and placed my hand on his shoulder causing him to look at me with his green eyes.
“Nothing.” He shook his head. “Remembe
r when I said that if you loved someone you should tell them because tomorrow isn’t promised?”
“Yeah,” I answered carefully, letting my hand fall away from him.
“I’m a really fucking terrible advice giver. I don’t even listen to my own self,” he snorted and shook his head again. What was wrong with him? I was just about to ask once more when he spoke. “Listen, if you had to choose between living in peace without Shepherd but with someone who could give you more, living an eternity in pain with Shepherd, or simply option C that could really be anything, what would you choose?”
“Pain.” My answer came quick. “I’d be in pain without him. So, I’d choose to be in pain with him.”
“I see,” Corbin answered tightly. “And option C?”
“What’s this about? Stop being the Riddler, Corbin! Just come out with it! What’s going on?” I stood up, my hands balled into fists. He knew something. I was sure he knew what Brax’s problem was.
“I don’t want you to get hurt, OK?” He jumped to his feet quickly, scaring me. I stepped back, my natural reaction to a man getting frustrated.
“How would I get hurt?”
“I didn’t see this fucking happening like this. I didn’t think it would.” He ran his fingers through his hair quickly, his voice rushed and low, “I shouldn’t have. I got too close. What the fuck was I thinking? I have to fix this…”
“You’re being insane right now, Corbin. I-I’m just going to go—”
He was on me in an instant, pressing me against the wall, his body against mine.
“What are you doing?” I shook as he stared down at me, his green eyes darker than they had been.
“Maggie, I really fucked up,” he breathed out. “I have a secret. So does Brax.”
“I-I know,” I whispered, swallowing hard. In that moment, I felt for Corbin. He almost seemed fearful. Terrified. Sad.
I tentatively moved my shaking hand up, knowing I had to confirm what was racing through my mind. I rested my hand over his heart and stared up at him.
“You’re like him,” I said, my voice wavering. “Your heart doesn’t beat.”
