by Laura Drewry
“God, I hate this place.”
“I know, but it’s good this time,” she murmured. “Katie’s fine. The baby’s fine. It’s all good.”
She felt him nod, but she didn’t let him go until she felt his hold on her ease, then she led him back to the chairs where they sat, hand in hand, and waited. And waited. He was bent over, elbows on his knees, Jayne’s hand still clutched in his when Debra finally came through the door, a weary smile on her face.
“You can come in now.”
He jerked upright, inhaled deeply, and sat back, his gaze lingering on Jayne a moment longer. She pressed her hand against his back and urged him up.
“Go on. I’ll be right here.”
“Is Lisa here? No? Oh, that’s okay.” Debra’s smile didn’t falter for a second. “Come on, Jayne, you too.”
Katie’s semiprivate room, a nauseating shade of grayish yellow, was cramped despite the fact no one was in the other bed. She sat propped up in bed with a little pink bundle cradled in her left elbow.
“Warren,” Debra said softly. “Why don’t we go get some coffee?”
Katie reached for Ben’s hand. “Would you go with them, please? Maybe find me something to drink?”
“Water? Or juice?”
“Vodka?” she joked.
“Water,” Carter said, not even cracking a smile as he flipped through the pages of her chart.
When they’d gone, Jayne tugged on Nick’s hand to get him moving, then led him to an empty chair beside Katie’s bed.
“Want to hold her, Uncle Nick?” The softness in Katie’s voice snapped Nick out of his haze. He slowly released Jayne’s hand and very carefully eased the bundle from his sister’s arms.
Jayne peered over his shoulder, the sight of such an amazing little thing making Jayne’s breath catch in her throat. “Oh, Katie, she’s so beautiful!”
“I know,” Katie beamed back. “She’s perfect.”
Nick’s fingers looked enormous against the baby’s cheek. “Perfect,” he murmured, his voice dry and cracked.
Carter folded his arms over his chest, tucking the chart against him and smiling, but it wasn’t one of his usual cheeky smiles. This one was pure joy.
“Looks good on you, man.”
It was an image Jayne wanted to freeze; big old Nick Scott awestruck by a six and a quarter pound bundle of perfection, but she’d left her bag and everything at Nick’s. She leaned over his shoulder, pulled his phone out of his shirt pocket, and snapped a picture of him and the baby. Then another. Then one of Katie, and then another one of Nick.
“Did you pick a name?” she asked.
Katie nodded as her gaze locked with Jayne’s for a second, then she reached over and patted Nick’s knee until he looked up at her. “We were thinking of naming her Sophia Nicole.”
Nick stared back down at the baby, and even though his mouth twitched a few times, he couldn’t seem to get any words out.
His whole body seemed to exhale a world of tension, and a huge grin spread across his face. He walked the baby over to the window, murmuring all the way about how he was going to spoil her rotten and there was nothing Katie could do about it. Jayne just smiled and took over the chair he’d vacated.
“Good grief, Katie, what happened?”
“I don’t know.” Katie leaned back against her pillow, her complexion almost the same color as the bland sheets. “The nurse came in to check how far along I was, and the next thing I know, there’s a tsunami gushing out of me and my nurse nearly has a heart attack. She makes me get onto my hands and knees so she can shove her hand up inside me—Carter says she was holding the baby up off the cord—and all the while she’s yelling for help. Poor Ben, I don’t know what happened to him; all I remember after that was that poor nurse, up to her elbow in … well … wow. And then I woke up in recovery.”
“I’d have been terrified! How are you feeling now?”
“Lucky. Very, very lucky.” Katie didn’t just smile; she glowed. It was the most beautiful thing Jayne had ever seen, next to the baby. “Carter said if the nurse hadn’t been here, or if Dr. Lange hadn’t been at the nurse’s station, who knows what would have happened?”
“Thank God none of those ‘ifs’ happened.” Jayne released a shaky laugh. “And how lucky that you went to Regan’s today, because after all you’ve been through tonight, you still look great.”
“Me?” Katie smiled. “You look … wow. That dress … and those shoes! Am I right on that, boys?”
“Yup.” Nick nodded slowly. “Wow.”
“Yeah.” Carter shot Jayne a wink and laughed. “Even Martin thought so.”
Stunned silence, then Katie snorted, immediately grimaced, and pressed her hands gently over her stomach. “Martin Kendall? His accountant?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“I didn’t know!” Nick cried softly, never taking his eyes off the baby.
“But he’s gay!”
“I didn’t know,” Nick repeated, softer this time. “How was I supposed to know?”
“How do you not know?” Katie tried to sit up a little more, but at her first wince, Carter was right there. “So what happened?”
“He was great,” Jayne started, but before she got any further, Nick was standing next to her, holding out the baby.
“Wanna hold her?”
Panic raced through her veins, leaving her frozen halfway between wanting nothing other than to hold that baby and terrified she’d do something horrible like drop her. Nick didn’t hesitate, though; he just leaned over and set Sophia into Jayne’s arms, then stood back and grinned.
Everything about the baby was perfect; her round little face, her tiny pink nose, her multiple little chins. And those fingers—so small, so fragile. So chubby! Was there anything more perfect?
“Look at you,” she finally whispered, willing the knot in her heart to loosen up just a little. “You’re the most precious thing ever.”
Voices went on around them but Jayne didn’t hear a word. Nothing else mattered but that little bundle of perfection in her arms. She didn’t know how long she sat like that, but when she looked up again, Doc and Mrs. Scott were back.
“Time for you all to hit the road,” Carter said. “These guys have had a hell of a day and need their rest.”
“Oh,” Jayne sighed quietly, running the tip of her finger down the side of Sophia’s face. “How ’bout we just take you home with us right now?”
“Not a chance,” Katie laughed. “Get your own.”
With a resigned grin, Jayne gave up her hold on Sophia and stepped back so the new grandparents could get in a couple more kisses. Poor Ben looked almost as exhausted as his wife.
After they’d made their reluctant goodbyes, Jayne and Nick walked Debra and Warren out to the parking lot. Smiles abounded but no one spoke, as if they were all afraid of breaking the spell baby Sophia had cast on them. Carter stayed at the hospital, declaring himself Sophia’s personal pediatrician.
The Nick who climbed into the truck was a completely different Nick than the one who’d climbed out of that same truck a few hours earlier. Most of the worry that lined his face was gone, as was the clenched jaw and deep frown.
He folded his hands over the steering wheel and rested his head on his arms. When he finally looked up again, he was smiling, but it was sheepish and a little awkward.
“Sorry about before.”
Jayne offered him the same pathetic smile he gave her. “Why didn’t you tell me you hadn’t been back here since Abby’s accident?”
“I never thought it would be this hard, but when Carter said Katie was …” His sigh was sad, but his smile wasn’t. “Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it. After my little wig-out when we first saw the store, I owed you one.” She settled herself against the seat and smiled back at him. “Why didn’t Lisa come with us?”
“She thought it would be better if the family had time alone before outsiders started showing up.”
“Oooh, I never thought of that.”
Jayne grunted out a choked laugh. “But I’m not sorry I was here. I mean, seriously, that baby’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen!”
“Yeah.” He started the truck, then leaned back in the seat, a giant smile covering his face. “How can something so small be so perfect?”
“I don’t know.” She could still feel little Sophia curled up in the crook of her arm, could still see her tiny little fingers with dimples for knuckles. “She’s amazing. Completely and utterly amazing.”
Nick threw his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close enough that he could kiss the top of her head. “So are you.”
When they got home, Nick took Duke out while Jayne plugged in the kettle, then went to change into her pajamas. She brushed out her hair, twisted it up on top of her head to keep it out of the way while she washed her face and brushed her teeth. Bundled up in her robe, she took the teapot and mugs out to the living room where she turned on one of the many sports shows Nick liked.
He came in a few minutes later, grinned as he walked through to his room, and muttered something under his breath.
“What’s that?” she called after him.
He waited until he was back in the living room before he answered. “I said Martin should see you now.”
“What d’you mean?” Jayne curled her feet up next to her in the recliner and tucked the robe over them.
“I mean, sure, you looked great in that dress, but look at you now …” He waved his hand toward her. “You look like hell and you’re still cute.”
“Wha—?” Jayne choked. Was that supposed to be some kind of compliment? Words wouldn’t come, so she did the only thing she could think of. She threw the remote at him.
“Just sayin’,” Nick laughed. He poured her tea, then lounged back on the couch and propped his feet up on the coffee table. “So pretending for a minute he wasn’t gay, Martin would have been a good choice, right?”
“Well, sure,” she said. “Nice guy, smart, funny, and exceedingly easy on the eyes.”
“You sound like Abby.”
Jayne snorted as she reached for her tea. “Well, saints be praised, you mean she and I finally agree on something?”
He flipped the channel a couple times, then muted it and tossed the remote on the cushion beside him. “Sorry you went out and bought that dress and everything.”
“I’m not. You and Carter should’ve seen your faces; I think it was the first time you two really believed I was a girl.”
He muttered something she couldn’t make out, but when she asked him to repeat it, he ignored her and blew out a sigh.
“Guess I should run any future guys by Katie first, huh? She seems to know everything about everybody.”
“There’s not going to be any more.” Jayne curled up tighter in the chair. “I was sort of banking on this being a one-time thing.”
“What do you mean?” he scoffed. “I’ve got plenty of guys for you to meet and I’m pretty sure most of them are straight. One of them might just be Mr. Perfect.”
“Trust me,” she said, sipping her tea slowly. “There are no Mr. Perfects, just a whole lot of Mr. Adequates.”
“That’s because you spent too much time dating guys like Barry. It’s way past time you set that bar a little higher.” A smile twitched against his mouth. “I sure as hell hope you never wasted a dress like that on him.”
Jayne winced; she wasn’t about to tell Nick what Barry had said to her on the few occasions when she had dressed up, though Nick probably had a pretty good idea. She swallowed the rest of her tea and smiled as she unfolded herself from the chair.
“Can I see your phone for a sec? I want to email some of those pictures to myself.” When she’d sent all the ones she wanted, she handed it back and patted the top of his head. “I’m going to bed.”
“Okay. G’night.”
An hour later, she was still staring up at the ceiling.
Nick thought she’d set her bar too low, and for a long time she had because she’d never believed she could do better, never believed she deserved better. But she was stronger now, she wasn’t that same scared person who was so grateful for any guy’s attention that she’d let herself be treated like crap.
No, setting the bar too low wasn’t her problem anymore. The problem was that she’d gone and set it too high. She’d never settle for a man like Barry again, that was for certain, but what hope did she have if she refused to settle for anything less than Nick Scott?
She rolled over and rearranged her pillows a little. Maybe once she was living in her own place, things would even out again; maybe she’d be able to push everything she felt back down where it belonged, where she’d kept it contained for so many years. Maybe once she built her new life up a little, things would be normal again.
Maybe.
And maybe she’d die a lonely old woman surrounded by nothing but tattered old books and a decades-old dandelion chain.
“Go to sleep, Jayne,” she muttered. “Just go to sleep.”
It would be a hell of a lot easier to go to sleep if the image of Nick and the baby would get out of her head.
Chapter Ten
So it’s sorta social. Demented and sad, but social. Right?
John Bender, The Breakfast Club
Nick pulled out his phone and flipped through the pictures he’d taken at the hospital. A few of Katie, a few of Sophia, and a whole lot of Jayne holding Sophia. Jayne had been so awestruck by that baby, she hadn’t even noticed Nick snapping pictures.
How would he have made it into that hospital without her there? He’d wanted Lisa to come, wanted her to feel included, but now every part of him was thankful she’d stayed with Martin. Even if she’d been there, he would have turned to Jayne for support, and how in the hell would he have ever explained that?
He ran his thumb slowly across the tiny phone screen. Jayne deserved to be happy, she deserved a good guy, and yet … Nick snorted quietly. Why couldn’t she be happy without a good guy? Why couldn’t she be happy living in his master suite for the rest of her life where he could make sure she was safe and protected from all the jerks out there?
Nick tucked the phone in his pocket and sighed. It was late; he should go to bed but he wasn’t tired. He was … restless. He could do some paperwork, he could watch some TV. Or he could go for a run. Sure it was late, and sure it might be crazy, but a little exercise always helped clear the old brain.
He changed into shorts and an old sweatshirt and tried to get past Duke without waking him up. No such luck. As soon as Duke saw him head for the door he was on his feet, toenails clicking against the wood floor as fast as he could move.
“Sorry, buddy,” Nick whispered. “You need to stay.” He slipped outside, did a quick stretch, and took off down the driveway with the sound of Duke howling after him. At the end of his street he turned right and ran past the next two cul-de-sacs until he came to the main crossroad. He turned left and followed the road as far as it went.
Thin streaky clouds whispered over the crescent moon, giving the sky the look of October instead of the middle of August.
Jayne’s birthday was coming up in a couple weeks. It had been a long time since they’d celebrated their birthdays together, so he’d need to do something. And he needed to get her something good, but what?
Nick grinned into the night. Maybe a gift certificate to the store where she got that black dress.
He moved off the road a little as a car came toward him, then returned to the pavement, pumping his legs harder. Past the all-night gas station, past the new strip mall with the burger joint and skateboard shop, and past the elementary school on the other side of the highway.
Ten minutes turned to twenty, then twice that, and he still hadn’t worn through the restlessness. The image of her in that dress flashed through his brain in time with his steps. And those shoes …
He swiped his sleeve across his brow. Wasn’t the purpose of this run to clear his head, not fill it with more Jayne? Right. So think of so
mething else.
Think about Lisa. Pretty, sweet Lisa who thought he was perfect and who’d spent so much time planning their trip to Montreal. She’d never called him an idiot, she’d never shoved him away when he hugged her, and she never made smart-ass comments about whether or not Nick noticed she was a girl.
She was everything a guy could want and he was lucky to have her. Damned lucky.
He didn’t feel lucky. He felt like an ass.
Think of something else.
Duke needed to go in for a checkup. Right. Okay, good. Duke. Poor old dog was getting slower but still did pretty good for almost ten years old. And he seemed to have perked up a little more since Jayne came back.
Jayne.
Nick shook his head. Think harder. The Schwanns’ house. Good. Drywall. Paint. Flooring. Drywall, paint, flooring.
He turned around at the next intersection and started for home.
Home. Jayne’s at home. No! Katie. The baby. Family. Jayne’s never had a family.
“Shit!” The word burst from Nick’s throat, scaring off a yellow-eyed cat who’d been skulking along the side of the road.
Fine. He had Jayne on the brain and that was that. It was probably because they were together so much. Once she got into her own place, things would settle down and he’d be able to focus on something else. On Linda. Lisa!
Block after block, he pounded his way back home, more frustrated than when he left. As he turned the corner onto his street, he slowed to a walk and checked the time.
Two fif—
Why was Jayne standing on the front porch? Her hair was like something out of a bad horror movie and her bare toes, all painted up in that pretty, light pinky purple color, stuck out under the hem of her robe. As he cleared the neighbors’ ditch, she turned, worry etched across her face. One look at him and that worry immediately flipped to anger.
“Where the hell have you been?”
“I went for a run.”
“In the middle of the freaking night?” She cinched the belt tighter around her waist, then fisted her hands on her hips. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I—” He stared from her to the empty street, half expecting Mrs. Eggert to be peeking out her window. “Can we go inside, please?”
