It wasn’t long before I was standing on the corner of Providence and Main next to a guy that was very handsome. A very handsome black man that is. No, he was not disappointing at all just the opposite, really cute, a close shaved beard and a trimmed mustache, nice stocky build, muscles edge to edge no doubt, dressed nicely in pressed colorful clothing. What a relief that he was all he said he was, except, he didn’t tell me he was African/American. Nor did he look it in his pictures. I had never gone out with a black man before. Not that I find anything wrong with them, I’m just usually not attracted to them.
Only once in my life had I met a black man that made me drool. He was a customer in a shop I worked in when I was younger. Every time that man came in and batted those long black eyelashes at me, I would melt. He was so smooth with his lines, too, always knowing what to say to make me crazy, but I always turned him down. I don’t know why I turned him down. I suppose the old saying, “Once you go black you never go back” scared the crap out of me! No doubt he would have been an amazing experience, but I was sure his mother wouldn’t have approved of this little white girl. So I spared me the fun and him the grief. And now the man at the corner comes a close second to the beastly black man that I once adored.
His tone was mild when he said hello, nothing spectacular, and he had a nice big smile, beautiful white teeth of course. He pointed the way to his vehicle and followed behind me.
“So you mind if we stop by my house before we eat?” he asked hollering over the hood of his car. His house? Why? I wondered.
“Sure,” I answered reluctantly. He assured me his Mother was there and it was a perfectly safe environment. He added I could sit in the car and wait if I chose too. I slid in sideways and quickly buckled my seatbelt. Normally I take a quick look in the mirror to check my makeup but this time I stared blankly with thoughts running wild through my head. When his car rolled out of the parking lot, the automatic locks clicked. I jumped. He glanced at me oddly but didn’t say a word. Neither did I.
His house was on the other side of town in a nice and neat neighborhood, with nice manicured lawns and wooden fences. A few cars were parked in his driveway when we arrived. I didn’t think much about those. He asked me again if I felt comfortable coming inside and assured me he would only be a minute. I hesitated for a moment then exited the car. As we walked in the door we were greeted by his family. Hands came out of nowhere shaking mine and the arms of an unknown lady grabbed me squeezing me tight and began introducing me to Momma, Grandmomma, Auntie Rose, Cousin Ruthie & Rufus, they were identical twins I was told but looked nothing alike; Carl Jr., George, and are you ready for this? His daughter Sashonda. The three foot something little girl looked just like him but with pink beaded braids all over her head. I looked around for the baby momma, didn’t see her. She said, “hi” to me then followed that “hi” with “why you a white gurl? My Daddy’s not allowed to date white gurls!”
I’m usually not very shocked by what comes out of the mouths of babes and this case wasn’t much different. I’ve dealt with attitudes, snotty nosed brats during photo shoots, and unruly children before. I was once cursed out by a six year old, so I knew how to handle little disrespectful munchkins. The trick is you don’t allow them the upper hand. Always be on your witty toes. Especially when you are in no position to discipline them. “Since when?”
“Since now!” Her pink pointy head was now cocked sideways.
“Says who?”
“Says me!”
“Oh Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“So. I don’t care what you think Sassy. I’m his date for the evening. Get over it.” I continued being quick on my game, proud of myself for being so witty, and as smart as the smart-ass child who couldn’t be a day over five staring at me. I wasn't going to be intimidated by a little girl’s words, nor by the room full of his folks that were eager to meet me. I thought only his Momma was home? Yeah, I was out of my comfort zone with everyone staring at me and making comments about what I just said to the pink ponytailed munchkin but I didn’t care.
“Names not Sassy it’s Sashonda! And no you not!” Sashonda didn’t miss a beat either. I was beginning to like this child. She was my kind of little woman watching out for her Daddy like she should be. Like I would imagine I would be if I was in her shoes.
“Yes. I. Am.”
“Wanna bet?”
“Watch meh.” My mouth was wide mouthing those words and my head did a notorious roll I had learned in my early years.
“Gurl, you won’t if you know what’s good for you, gurl, he’s my Daddy and what I say goes, gurl, he always minds me, gurl, and If I don’t like you he won’t like you, gurl, just like the last one I’ll get rid of you too just you wait and see, gurl, you gonna go too.” She stood even closer with her little height waving a finger at me adding, “And you smell bad!”
“I smell good,” I stated matter of factly because I did.
“No, you don’t.”
“Yes. I. Do.” My head did another roll or three.
“My pig smells betta.”
“Your pig must smell like roses and clean fresh soap then!”
“Most roses don’t smell.”
“True.” She was right. Not every rose has a smell.
“So.”
“So what?”
“You still stink.”
“You like it. Don’t lie.”
“Maybe. What’s the name of it?”
“Jessica Mclint…” I turned my eyes back to the crowd gunning me down with their snarls. I figured this was routine for them based on the looks. Where was the respect? Where was the scolding to this child for behaving as such? Most importantly where was Mike? This was turning into a much longer visit than I expected. My attention went back to the child. After all she was the most entertaining thing in the room and she never took her eyes off of me.
Her eyes were wide, her lips puckered, and her head was bobbing in a circle now that I found myself unknowingly rocking in unison to. Like I mentioned the learning of those neck rolls years ago was coming in mighty handy now. “You,” she pointed her finger sharp at me again, “need to go!”
“As a matter of fact, I do! Where’s the bathroom?”
“Ugh. Dadday! Dadday! She gotta go!
“Mmmm hmph hrmmm haaapmmmm,” was the mumbled voice I heard coming from the back room that may have been Mike’s.
“Fine. Come here, gurl. I’ll show you. Don’t be stealing nothin. I’ll be watching you!”
I gave her a high five. She half-heartedly returned the gesture and led me to a door down a hall. I walked in and closed the door behind me making sure I locked it first, and then prepared myself to pee. As soon as I sat down on the toilet my eyes drifted to the right. Right there not three feet from me, in a puke green plastered bathtub, laid a pig with his feet up, tied to a pole, on his back, with his head tilted my direction, smiling wide right at me. I jumped up, barely getting my ass back in my jeans before I bolted out the door. Mike met me in the hall just as I was flying out of it. He could see I was white as a ghost.
“What’s matter?”
“There’s a pig in there!” I whispered hard with wide eyes not wanting all the kinfolks to hear me.
“Yeah, I know. It’s too hot to have him outside, he’ll spoil. Gotta boil the hair off t’mrrow. for da pig roast.” His smile was happy and wide.
“Boil his hair off for a pig roast?” I asked matter of fact.
“Yah, ain’t you never done a pig roast before?” I saw Sashonda’s eyes dart to her father in horror over his shoulder. How could she not know? Surely she knew there was a pig in the tub. Her face was full of fear and questions.
“Dadday where’s my pig?”
“Shush, girl!”
“Where’s Sassy?”
“Sassy? That’s the name of your pig?”
“Yeah what of it? Named her after me! It’s just like my name.”
“That ain’t your pig. She names everything. Calls everyt
hing hers.”
“Yes, it is my pig and her name is Sassy! You better not be cookin’ her up either, Dadday!”
“I think it’s her,” I blurted out in my Elvis looking face with one lip snarled up in disgust. Oh my! What was I thinking! I was finding myself right in the middle of a pig argument between a man and his zealous daughter. Not a fun place to find yourself in. Especially in a room full of strangers that weren’t receiving of your conversation with one of their own prize offsprings.
She stomped her little feet toward the bathroom. Out of the corner of my eye I saw kinfolk diving for the door to close it shut. One young fellow picked up Sashonda and threw her over his shoulder and carried her out the back door. All the while I could hear the child screaming for her pig. Mike mumbled something at me under his breath. All the more reason to want to be a vegetarian, I thought as I bolted out the door slamming it behind me.
I sat silent as he drove away trying to find my way out of the moving car and out of our dinner date. Mike took bug-eyed glances at me like I was a crazy person. I suppose he didn't like me being chatty with his little daughter, telling her about her pig, or the way I ran out of there not even saying goodbye to his kin. But I couldn’t care less. I didn’t want to be in that house one minute longer with that disrespectful child or that pig lying in that tub like it was. Like it was a normal thing to have in your bathtub. It just wasn’t right! All wrong, I tell ya. All wrong!
“Look, Mike, my stomach is really messed up now after seeing that pig in your tub and I don’t think…”
“It was just a pig. You act like you ain’t never seen a piece of meat before. You goody two shoes. Too good for us folks and da way we cook. You actin all fancy now ain’t ya? You one of dem fancy city girls from da city who don’t know how to cook and don’t know no good cookin’ when they see it. Thought you said you were raised in the country? Thought you iz a country girl?”
“No…I just…”
“You don’t know what yer missin. Dat pig is some good eaten. Mighty, mighty delicious!” He was screaming. “You need to have you sum of dat pig, if you did we wouldn’t be haven this conversation. We’d be eating sushi right now. We’d be all up in anothah not fighting over a damn pig! Maybe even smooching about now, Lord knows I’s a damn good kisser but naw…naw! You had to go an insult me, insult my family, and my youngun’s pig! Dat’s good eatin! Good eaten I tell ya! But naw, naw. You crazy dats what you are! Hmph!”
His body was twitchy and angry. His forehead was all beady with sweat. He was offended. I was appalled. He quickly stereotyped me without giving me the benefit of the doubt. He had no idea I had been a vegetarian for five whole years when I was younger. Mainly due to the fact I was grossed out with the texture and the treatment of animals to get said meat. And now, I had been in his bathroom staring eye ball to eye ball at a smiling pig! I was not gonna apologize for being appalled by the scenery or the disrespectful child not to mention the meeting of all of his kin on the first date! Nope not me!
“Take me home!” I demanded.
“I’ll take you home. Then I’m gonna go eat me some pig. That’s riiigggghhhht.” He made smacking sounds with his lips and licked his fingers, “Gonna be good too just like I like it. Smoked and slopped with homemade Bee Q sauce. Whoah yeah, tomorrow in that hole he’s gonna cook, right der in my backyard. Dat’s where’s I cook ‘em! You got a problem with that?”
His eyes were bugging out of his head. Now I see it clear. He’s crazy!
His voice was loud and sure saying things I really didn’t want to hear about that pig. That poor pig, lying in that tub, I’m sure Sashonda already knew her little piggy’s fate. I was getting more disgusted by the minute at the smacking sounds and sick to my stomach at the licking of the fingers. OMG!
“Just shut up and take me home. I don’t want to hear another thing about that damn pig! You mention it one more time and I’m gettin’ out of this car!”
“You want out? You want out? I’ll let you out! Oh yeah…I’ll let you out right now, you crazy woman!”
Mike came to a screeching halt in the middle of the road on Hwy 20. A highway that was adjacent to a highway that didn’t allow pedestrians to walk down. Too dangerous.
“Fine!” I screamed as he sped away screeching his tires at me, “Yo a sorry black Ass! That’s what you are! Sorry! Crazy sorry black Ass! Hope you choke on that pig!” I yelled to just to make myself feel better. I’m sure he didn’t hear me. He was long gone to go eat his sushi all alone. I looked at my surroundings realizing I didn’t have but one choice. Walk home.
Good thing I decided to wear my boots tonight instead of my stilts. They would have been a bitch to walk in down the graveled area of the highway. There were times I was on the asphalt. Times I walked on the grass. A couple of times I thought I was about to be ran over, flattened right under a tire of the big ole truck that passed me by. I knew it was going to be a long walk though. I was an easy eight miles from my home.
“Ugh!” I swore out loud as if anyone could actually hear me. Cursing Mike with every step and cursing myself for trusting him. Revisiting every decision I had ever made about men in general, summing them all up as scumbags and worthless no good for nothing leeches of the earth that sucked the life from me and other poor innocent woman that got caught up in their web of lies. If I had met a decent guy, it wouldn’t have mattered. With every passerby car they all were scum in my eyes. The more I walked the louder I was. The conversation I was having with myself was quite colorful! You know those poor departed souls you see walking the streets talking aloud to no one, screaming at the air, the ones you dare not make eye contact with, out of fear? Yeah, that was me. I’m sure I fit the description well.
I had walked about half the distance home when I came upon one of my favorite pubs. I decided to stop there and grab a drink, maybe catch a ride with someone I knew from the bar. My feet were tired, night had fallen, and the few rides I had been offered just didn’t look trustworthy. I walked into the bar and sat down on a comfy stool. The bar seemed desolate, only a few scattered around it. The bartender made a comment on my appearance, so I flipped him a bird. He smiled at my attempt and flipped me a proper one back. He and I were good friends. But we had never dated so he was safe around me tonight. He wasn’t on my list of haters.
I was in no mood to be messed with. I was actually still angry, very pissed, and still wanting to cuss anyone who dared to say a cross word. And just so you understand my frame of mind? I don’t really cuss. I don’t think it’s very lady-like and I very seldom use such ugly words. I have no idea where all those words came from tonight. There were words I never thought I knew coming out of my mouth. Speaking such language made me thirsty, I needed a good cold lime beer, and now I was starved. But I reminded myself I wasn’t with Mike. That already was a plus. Wasn’t long before a drink was shoved in my hand and the corners of my smile reappeared. Mainly because the bartender made it his duty to make me smile. He’s good like that. It’s one reason I frequent this bar. He had a way of making me feel wanted.
I sat there for a while soaking it all in, feeling like I smelled like that sweaty pig I saw in that tub, a vision I wish I could forever forget, while chatting away with him. I didn’t even notice the bar packing in with folks. I wasn't in tune with my surroundings which was very rare for me. And luckily for me too, I hadn’t noticed the man now sitting on my left. Had I noticed him I’d have probably given him a look when he sat down that would have scared him away. I don’t think that would have been a good idea, because he was kinda cute. I was thinking too I must not smell as bad as I thought. This guy had me wondering if a pig smell is an aphrodisiac? Maybe it is in some countries. I caught myself staring widely at him at times; of course, he caught me too. He laughed asking me my name extending his hand for me to shake. Finally, I thought, a gentleman.
“Sadie. Sorry. You caught me staring didn’t you?”
“No, it’s okay, I get it all the time!” He winked adding, “James.�
��
“Nice to meet you, James.”
“Come here often?” he asked.
“Actually yeah, one of my favorite places.”
“Yeah, why is that?” his eyes were sparkling in the bar lights. His smile was nice and warm but he looked a bit older than me, not sure how much, though, maybe a good ten years or more. At this point really, I didn’t care. He seemed normal.
“Just a great neighborhood bar. Everybody knows everybody. Kinda nice. Feels like home ya know?”
“That is a good reason. Nice. Very nice.”
“You must not be from here.”
“No, I’m just in town working for a few weeks.”
“Ah, let me guess, Aerospace Engineer?”
“So it shows?”
“Lucky guess. Although most of this town is made up of Engineers.” I laughed not meaning to be disrespectful.
“Yeah, where I’m from too.”
“Where’s that?”
“Colorado.”
“It’s very nice there.”
“Beautiful place. I love it there. Can’t wait to get back home.”
“I bet.” I ordered another beer and the bartender rolled his eyes at me talking to the new guy James. He would rather I talked to him, but he was too busy now for conversation. So I turned my attention back to James and chatted some more. We chatted for the next hour about any and everything we could think of. Easy conversation, easy going guy. He was really growing on me and the more we talked the more I didn’t notice his age. I was kinda liking old James. What was he? Fifteen years older than I? I almost asked him, and then I decided I better not.
“Hey would you like a ride home?” he asked saying he overheard me tell the bartender about the crazy date I had tonight.
“Actually no. I only live about five miles from here and I’m calling a cab. Thanks for the offer.”
“No problem. Would be happy to save you cab fare.” His smile was still warm, not creepy, no red flags going off, no bad vibes, no hair standing on ends to make me not want to get in a car with him. James was a gentleman. No doubt about it. Just an all-around respectful older man. But I just knew it would open doors for other conversations and advances I was in no mood of having. I thanked him for the conversation, he handing me his business card that held his cell number, and said he’d love to see me again, under different circumstances that is. I smiled and agreed it would be nice to have a normal date with a normal man, one that wasn’t roasting a pet in his backyard, so I promised to call him soon to set up a date to chat, strictly platonic of course. He walked me outside to the curb, opened the door to the cab for me, watched me climb in, and shut the door. His smile was etched in my mind as we drove away but I never looked back.
The Quest Page 7
