“You’re in charge. I’m here, always. No matter what. I won’t leave your side, I promise. Take all the time you need.”
“Where did you come from?” I asked, tears now streaming down my face.
“Does it matter?” he asked. “I’m here now. Right where I’m meant to be.”
I smiled a little smile at his words, reality dawning on me.
“I think I am, too.”
“That’s a damned good start, if you ask me.”
I nodded, staring up at him, my heart slowly piecing itself back together.
“Maybe we should get going before we give the birds a little peep show,” he said, winking. “Get it? Peep show?”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“I get it. It’s corny, but I get it.”
He pulled me in for a long hug, before releasing me again. “Everything’s going to be okay, babe, I promise. I don’t want you to worry.”
“It’s hard to worry when you keep reassuring me like that.”
“Then my plan is working.”
“It is,” I nodded. “I’ll never be able to thank you enough, Jason, you know that?”
“That smile on your face is enough thanks,” he said, grabbing my hand and leading me away from the water. We strolled back through the forest slowly and by some miracle, when I stepped off the trail and back into the little meadow by Grace and Ryder’s home, I felt like I’d left the weight of all my worries back at the creek.
Like a new woman, I was invigorated.
My shame, my misery, my insecurities and all of the baggage I carried around seemed so far away that I felt light on my feet.
“I really needed that,” I said.
“A walk in the forest will work wonders.”
“That, too,” I said, winking over at him.
He laughed and squeezed my hand, and when he flashed me a private smile as we approached the clubhouse, my heart skipped a beat.
When I spotted what was going on on the front porch, my heart came to a lurching halt.
“Alex, oh my God!” I screamed, tearing my hand from Jason’s and running forward. Alex and Cherry were sitting on the front porch swing, with two huge owls right next to them. Alex had a worm dangling from his hand as I walked up onto the porch. The owls turned to look at me, their big yellow eyes blinking slowly.
“Shh,” Cherry said. “It’s okay, mama, I promise.”
“But —.”
Jason came up behind, placing a calm hand on my back.
“She’s right. These are our friends. And Alex’s friends now, it looks like.”
One of the owls bent its head, gently plucking the worm from Alex’s tiny fingers. Alex squealed with joy, clapping his hands together as the owl gobbled the worm.
“But —.”
“Mama!” Alex called, smiling at me. “Owiver and Owivia!”
“What?” I said.
Jason chuckled and walked over to them, petting the owls on their heads.
“He’s saying Oliver and Olivia. Those are their names.”
“Oh. Are you sure they’re safe?” I asked, eyeing their big, pointy beaks.
“They’re completely safe and tame. We’ve been feeding them for years now,” Cherry said. “They’re family.”
“That’s amazing,” I said. “They just come right up to you like that?”
“Yep,” Cherry replied, lifting her chin proudly. “Every single day. They love Ryder most of all, hell, Olivia will crawl into his lap and snuggle with him sometimes. I come in a close second, because I make sure to feed them everyday.”
Alex picked up another worm from the bowl Cherry was holding and I was amazed to see him so fearless. With absolute glee shining in his eyes, he fed the wiggling worm to the other owl.
“Well, I’ll be damned,” I said, shaking my head. “This place gets more amazing by the minute.”
“I told you that you’d love it here,” Jason winked at me.
I looked at him, the feel of his hands, his lips, his tongue, still vibrating on my skin.
“I do love it,” I whispered, my heart so full of emotion as we gazed at each other. “I love it a lot.”
“Me, too,” he replied, smiling back at me. “Me, too, babe.”
Bones
“Chester is doing great, Jason, don’t worry about him.”
My friend Bobby was an old friend from college. He’d moved out to Portland way before I did and started up his own vet clinic that eventually turned into one of the biggest veterinary hospitals in the city.
“We got lucky. Like I told you before, the bullet only went into the muscle. He might have a little limp and some arthritis when he gets older, but he’s going to pull through just fine.”
“I can’t thank you enough, brother,” I said, my heart swelling with joy. I’d been sick with worry over my boy. “How long will he need to stay there?”
“He’ll probably be ready to go home tomorrow evening, if everything keeps going as well as it is.”
“I’m not sure when I can pull away. I don’t want to get too far from Daisy and Alex right now.”
“I can take him home with me,” he said. “Take care of your business there and you can pick him up after things settle down.”
“You sure, brother?”
“For you? Absolutely.”
“You’re a life saver, literally,” I replied.
“Well, I know you’d do the same for me, so don’t worry about it.”
“I sure would.”
“How is Daisy?”
“She’s okay. She’s safe.”
“You’re a good man, Jason.”
“I do my best,” I said. “Thanks, again, Bobby. I’ll call and check in tomorrow. Hey, do me a favor and give my boy more steak. He deserves it. You can put it all on my bill.”
“Will do.”
The sun was setting over the trees, turning the sky into a watercolor of soft pinks. I’d stepped out onto the porch of the clubhouse to call Bobby away from the chattering inside. It was almost dinner time, and the clubhouse was filling up with Gods and their ladies, the smell of Cherry’s goulash drifting out the door. I could hear Alex laughing inside, and Daisy’s soft voice murmuring to him.
I wasn’t quite sure what to think of our kiss.
I’d been concentrating so damned hard on holding back and she’d unleashed a kiss on me unlike no other, damn near knocking me to my knees with emotion. I’d promised myself I’d let her take the lead and so I let her lead me right into that kiss. More like a jump right in, with both feet, I guess. After my initial shock passed, my body overrode all my good sense and the cocktail of lust and love and desire won out.
Hell, I’d almost laid her down on the fallen leaves and taken her right then and there.
I wanted her so damned badly, and yet we weren’t there yet. I knew that.
But that kiss held the promise of something worth waiting for, no matter how excruciating the wait would be.
Her lips were soft as silk, the heat of her passion surprising me with its fiery intensity. All I could think about was being gentle with her, and there she was kissing me like a wildcat out of the blue.
Look, I’d be a fool to say I minded. Of course, I liked it. I liked it a whole hell of a lot. But what a mind-fuck it was, because once my motor got started, I usually pressed the pedal to the metal without hesitating.
With Daisy, I couldn’t take my foot off the brake.
I didn’t want to fuck things up. I didn’t want to move so fast that I scared her. For fuck’s sake, she’d been through so much, I honestly didn’t even know if she was emotionally stable for more.
Who would be in her shoes?
Nobody I’d ever known. Hell, I was shaken just trying to be her friend.
Friend.
Is that what I was? I wanted to be, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want more. I just kept telling myself this wasn’t the right time. I had to let things unfold naturally, take extra care not to push things the way I wanted them to
go.
Daisy needed to be completely in charge of her own destiny now, without any influence from me. I hated the idea that I might have to let her go. Who knows where she’ll end up? And whether I was part of that picture wasn’t even relevant right now.
The thoughts tumbling around in my head were completely inappropriate, I know that. But there I was, just the same — staring through the screen door of the clubhouse, watching her play with her sweet baby boy, the perfect picture of happiness and goodness — and imagining watching that every day of our lives.
I wanted the whole package.
And yet, nobody gave a damn what I wanted, I knew that. What I wanted didn’t matter. What mattered was getting her to a safe place, a place so safe, not even that asshole Sullivan could find her.
I thought that place might be my home, but obviously I was wrong.
I gazed at her thoughtfully, the feelings running through me new and unfamiliar, but I knew, with every cell in my body, that they weren’t wrong.
Maybe the timing was off.
But someday, I thought, my eyes welling with tears as I watched her kiss Alex on the forehead, that woman is going to be my wife.
Daisy
“That was an amazing meal,” I said to Cherry, as I helped her clean up after dinner. “You’ll have to give me that recipe.”
“You betcha, darlin’,” she drawled. “But listen, I’ve got this. You go on and take care of Alex and get some rest. You’ve both had a very long day.”
“Yes,” I nodded. “You sure?”
“Absolutely,” she said. “I’d recommend a nice warm bath before bed. Soothes the soul after days like this. And there’s a huge clawfoot tub in your cabin, and some bubble bath under the sink, too.”
“I saw that tub,” I said, smiling gratefully.
“Go on, shoo,” she said, winking at me. “Use extra bubbles.”
I laughed and gave her a quick hug. She’d quickly become my favorite person here, outside of Jason. And Grace. And Ryder.
Well, I suppose I can’t choose.
Dinner had been this big affair, with all of them gathered around the huge dining table, everyone talking and laughing, all at once. It reminded me a little of the dinners we had at the shelter, but without the stench of misery and desperation in the air. It was like a family.
I ignored the pangs of regret for never having experienced that before, and concentrating on trying to relax and enjoy it.
Everyone was so sweet to Alex, not just Cherry, but the other women I met doted on him like he’d never been doted on before. Lacey was quiet and sweet, flashing me encouraging smiles all night. Frankie was confident and calm as a cucumber, not even flinching when Alex began screaming at the dinner table, just because he was fond of screaming and then following it up with a big belly laugh after seeing the effect it had on everyone else. And the men were like a bunch of big happy guys. Now that I’d spent a few minutes with them, I could see right through their tough demeanors.
They may have been dripping in well-worn leather, but their hearts were as soft as suede.
Jason stayed by my side the rest of the evening, and I could tell he was processing what had happened with us earlier. Maybe I’d gone a little overboard with the kissing, but what’s done was done. I couldn’t un-kiss him now, even if I wanted to. In fact, now that I’d felt the heat between us, a feeling I’d never really reciprocated for anyone, I wanted more of it.
If only I weren’t so tired…
Well, there’s no telling what I would have done to him.
Instead, I was so exhausted my bones were tired. That bath and that nearby bed was calling my name.
“I’m going to give Alex a bath and get to bed, I think,” I said to Jason as I walked out onto the porch. He’d been standing there alone, staring out into the darkness.
“Tired?” he asked, turning to us with a smile.
“Exhausted.”
“It’s been a long, fucked up day,” he said.
“Most of it, yes,” I replied, smiling up at him. Alex squirmed in my arms. “Are you staying here tonight?”
“I think so,” he said. “I don’t want to get too far away from you two just yet. Go on and give Alex a bath. I’ll stop by in little while to say goodnight.”
I nodded and walked down the stairs, leaving him there alone, my heart tugging a little when I closed the door to the cabin. The silence was almost deafening and if it wasn’t for Alex, I knew the loneliness would be almost unbearable.
Alex was calm and lucid in the bath, playing calmly with the bubbles. As soon as I had him out of the tub and dried off, his eyes were drooping.
“You might be more tired than I am,” I said, kissing him. He smelled so good, his skin so soft and his little eyes looking up at me so sweetly, I wondered what I ever had to complain about. All the shit I went through was worth it, because it led me to being the mother of this amazing little boy.
“I love you, sweetheart,” I whispered.
I placed him in the portable crib that I’d set up earlier and he closed his eyes right away. I watched him for a while, finding comfort in the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest.
“I promise to keep you safe,” I whispered to him. “No matter what I have to do.”
I dimmed the light in the bedroom and wandered into the kitchen. It was the prettiest room in the house, the dark cabinets and creamy white marble countertops creating a cozy ambiance. I lit some candles and opened a bottle of red wine, perusing the book case while I sipped it slowly.
I was contemplating reading a little before bed, just to settle my mind a little bit, think about something other than myself. I’d been an avid reader all my life, scrounging through any book or magazine I could get my hands on and having an entire bookcase to choose from was like having my own personal library.
Fiction, I thought. That’ll do the trick.
I grabbed an Anne Rice novel from the shelf, The Witching Hour, one of my favorite books of all time. I ran my hand over the gold embossed lettering on the cover, opening the book slowly, smelling the pages. I began reading and was instantly transported to the dark and mysterious world of the Mayfair witches, letting the flowery words envelop me.
I was only a few pages in when I heard a quiet knock at the door. I walked over and opened it to find a smiling Jason.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hi.” I opened the door, stepping to the side to invite him in. I was wearing nothing but a fluffy white terrycloth robe and I suddenly wished I’d put some clothes on after the bath.
“Is Alex asleep?” he asked.
“Out like a light.”
“You’re still awake?”
“Doing a little reading. Thought I’d have a little wine before bed,” I said.
He nodded and walked into the kitchen.
“Would you like some?” I asked.
“Sure,” he said. “I’ll get it. You sit down. Relax.”
“Okay,” I shrugged, sinking back into the couch. He joined me in a few seconds, wine glass in one hand and the entire bottle in the other. He put it down on the table and sat down next to me. “Anne Rice, huh? She’s my favorite author.”
“No way?”
“Absolutely. Have you read Cry to Heaven?”
“Yes, it’s amazing,” I said, smiling at the fact that he shared my appreciation for her. “The worlds she creates are so vivid, you feel like you’re right there with them.”
“It’s true,” he said, smiling over at me. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay,” I said, sipping my wine. “I mean, I guess I’ll be okay.”
“Are you worried?”
“Do you want the truth?”
“Always.”
“Of course I am. Everything’s so unknown. That’s unsettling.”
“Do you wish you stayed at the shelter?”
“Maybe,” I said. “But honestly, I’ve concluded that Luke would have found me there, too. It was just a matter of time. Obviously,
Ruby told him about the baby. He’s not really the type to give up, you know?”
“Right,” he nodded. “That’s why it’s important to make sure he can’t find you again.”
I nodded and smiled, the dim light somehow making him even more handsome than he was earlier today at the creek.
As if he had read my mind, he spoke quietly.
“Daisy, about earlier…”
“Shh,” I stopped him. “Don’t. I’m a little embarrassed about that.”
“Embarrassed? Why on Earth would you be embarrassed?”
“I wasn’t exactly a picture of restraint.”
“No, you weren’t,” he winked. “But you don’t hear me complaining, do you?”
“Isn’t that what you were about to do?”
“Heavens, no. I was just going to say that I didn’t want you to mistake my hesitancy for disinterest. I just don’t want to scare you.”
“You could never scare me. You’re like a gentle, lovable teddy bear, remember?”
“Great,” he laughed. “That sounds as attractive as the last time you called me that.”
“You have no idea how attractive gentleness is to me,” I replied. “Even if I wasn’t so gentle myself.”
“I just don’t want to do anything wrong. I don’t want to overstep some invisible boundary,” he said, putting his glass down and enveloping my hands in his. “I respect you immensely.”
“No one has ever said that to me,” I murmured.
“You deserve all the respect in the world, Daisy.”
He bent his head to kiss me and I yawned before his lips could brush against mine. I put my hand over my lips and apologized.
“No apology necessary. I should go and let you get to sleep.”
“What if I asked you to stay?” I asked.
“Stay? Here? Tonight?”
“Yes. I’d feel better if you were close by. If I wasn’t alone…” I felt vulnerable asking but now that he was here, the thought of him leaving was painful.
“Absolutely,” he said. “I’ll just sleep here on the couch and you let me know if you need anything.”
“Thank you,” I said, smiling a grateful smile. “I guess I should get to sleep. I can barely keep my eyes open.”
BONES: GODS OF CHAOS MC Page 18
