by Eoin Colfer
But, strangely, Holly smiled. It is good, she thought. Someone down there likes me.
The communications spike travelled the short distance between the two shuttles, burying itself in the stolen craft’s hull. A quick-drying sealant erupted from nozzles at the base of the spike, sealing the breach, and the nose cone unscrewed itself, dropping to the floor with a clang. Underneath was a conical speaker.
Trouble Kelp’s voice filled the room. ‘Captain Short, I have orders to blow you out of the air. Orders which I’d just as soon disobey. So start talking, and give me enough information to save both our careers.’
So Holly talked. She gave Trouble the condensed version: how this entire affair had been orchestrated by Opal, and how they could pick her up if they searched the chute.
‘That’s enough to keep you alive for now,’ said Trouble. ‘Though officially you, and any other shuttle occupants, are under arrest until we find Opal Koboi.’
Artemis cleared his throat. ‘Excuse me. I don’t believe you have any jurisdiction over humans. It would be illegal to arrest me or my associate.’
Trouble sighed. Over the speaker it sounded like a rasp of sandpaper. ‘Let me guess: Artemis Fowl, right? I should have known. You people are becoming quite the team. Well, let’s say you are a guest of the LEP, if that makes you any happier. Now, a Retrieval Squad is in the chute and they will take care of Opal and her associates. You follow me back to Haven.’
Holly wanted to object. She wanted to catch Opal herself. She wanted the personal pleasure of tossing the poisonous pixie into an actual gaol cell. But their position was precarious enough as it was, so for once she decided to follow orders.
Chapter 11: A Last Goodbye
E7, HAVEN CITY
Once they reached Haven, a squad of LEP foot soldiers boarded the shuttle to secure the prisoners. The police swaggered on board, barking orders, then they saw Butler and their cockiness evaporated like rainwater off a hot highway. They had been told that the human was big. But this was more than big. This was monstrous.
Mountainous.
Butler smiled apologetically. ‘Don’t worry, little fairies. I have this effect on most humans too.’
The police breathed a collective sigh of relief when Butler agreed to go quietly.
They might possibly have subdued him if he had put up a fight, but then the massive Mud Man could have fallen on someone.
The detainees were housed in the shuttle port’s executive lounge, evicting several grumbling lawyers and businessfairies. It was all very civil: good food, clean clothes (not for Butler) and entertainment centres. But they were under guard nevertheless.
Half an hour later, Foaly burst into the lounge. ‘Holly! he said, wrapping a hairy arm round the elf. ’I am so happy that you’re alive.‘
‘Me too, Foaly,’ grinned Holly.
‘A little “Hello” wouldn’t hurt,’ said Mulch sulkily ‘“How are you, Mulch? Long time no see, Mulch. Here’s your medal, Mulch.”’
‘Oh all right,’ said Foaly, wrapping the other hairy arm around the equally hairy dwarf. ‘Nice to see you too, Mulch, even if you did sink one of my subs. And no, no medal.’
‘Because of the sub,’ argued Mulch. ‘If I hadn’t done it, your bones would be buried under a hundred million tonnes of molten iron right now.’
‘Good point,’ noted the centaur. ‘I’ll mention it at your hearing.’ He turned to
Artemis. ‘I see you managed to cheat the mind wipe, Artemis.’
Artemis smiled. ‘A good thing for all of us.’
‘Indeed. I’ll never make the mistake of trying to wipe you again.’ He took
Artemis’s hand and shook it warmly. ‘You’ve been a friend to the People. You too, Butler.’
The bodyguard was sitting, hunched, on a sofa, elbows on knees. ‘You can repay me by building a room I can stand up in.’
‘I’m sorry about this,’ said Foaly apologetically. ‘We don’t have rooms for people your size. Sool wants you all kept here until your story can be verified.’
‘How are things going?’ asked Holly.
Foaly pulled a file from inside his shirt. ‘I’m not actually supposed to be here, but I thought you’d like an update.’
They crowded round a table while Foaly laid out the reports.
‘We found the Brill brothers on the chute wall. They’re singing like stinkworms — so much for loyalty to their employer. Forensics have collected enough pieces of the stealth shuttle to prove its existence.’
Holly clapped her hands. ‘That’s it then.’
‘It’s not airtight,’ Artemis corrected her. ‘Without Opal we could still be responsible for everything. The Brills could be lying to protect us. Do you have her?’
Foaly clenched his fists. ‘Well, yes and no. Her escape pod was ruptured by the blast, so we could trace it. But by the time we reached the crash site on the surface, she had disappeared. We ran a thermal on the area and isolated Opal’s footprints. We followed them to a small rustic homestead in the wine region near Bari. We can actually see her on satellite, but an insertion is going to take time to organize. She’s ours, and we will get her. But it may take a week.’
Holly’s face was dark with rage. ‘She’d better enjoy that week, because it will be the best of the rest of her I life.’
NEAR BARI, ITALY
Opal Koboi’s craft limped to the surface, leaking plasma gouts through its cracked generator. Opal was well aware that this plasma was as good as a trail of arrows for
Foaly. She must ditch the craft as soon as possible and find somewhere to lie low until she could access some of her funds.
She cleared the shuttle port and made it nearly ten miles across country before her engines seized utterly, forcing her to ditch in a vineyard. When she clambered out of the pod, Opal found a tall, tanned woman of perhaps forty waiting for her with a shovel and a furious expression on her face.
‘These are my vines,’ said the woman in Italian. ‘The vines are my life. Who are you to crash here in your little aeroplane and destroy everything I have?’
Opal thought fast. ‘Where is your family?’ she asked. ‘Your husband?’
The woman blew a strand of hair from her eyes. ‘No family. No husband. I work the vines alone. I’m the last in the line. These vines mean more to me than my life, and certainly more to me than yours.’
‘You’re not alone,’ said Opal and she turned on the hypnotic fairy mesmer. ‘You have me now. I am your daughter, Belinda.’
Why not? she reasoned. If it worked once…
‘Belinda,’ said the woman slowly. ‘I have a daughter?’
‘That’s right,’ agreed Opal. ‘Belinda. Remember. We work these vines together. I
help make the wine.’
‘You help me?’
Opal scowled. Humans never got something the first time.
‘Yes,’ she said, barely concealing her impatience. ‘I help you. I work beside you.’
The woman’s eyes cleared suddenly. ‘Belinda. What are you doing, standing there? Get a shovel and clean up this mess. When you finish here, you must prepare dinner.’
Opal’s heart skipped a beat. Manual labour? Not likely. Other people did that sort of thing.
‘On second thoughts,’ she said, pushing the mesmer as hard as she could. ‘I am your pampered daughter Belinda. You never allow me to do any work, in case it roughens my hands. You’re saving me for a rich husband.’
That should take care of it. She would hide out with this woman for a few hours and then escape to the city.
But a surprise was coming Opal’s way. ‘That’s my Belinda,’ said the woman.
‘Always dreaming. Now take this shovel, girl, or you’ll go to bed hungry.’
Opal’s cheeks flushed red. ‘Didn’t you hear me, crone? I do not do physical work. You will serve me. That is your purpose in life.’
The Italian lady advanced on her tiny daughter. ‘Now listen here, Belinda. I’m trying not to hear these
poisonous words coming out of your mouth, but it is difficult.
We both work the vines, that is the way it has always been. Now take the shovel, or I will lock you in your room with a hundred potatoes to peel and none to eat.’
Opal was dumbstruck. She could not understand what was happening. Even strong-minded humans were putty before the mesmer. What was happening here?
The simple truth was that Opal had been too clever for her own good. By placing a human pituitary gland in her own skull, she had effectively humanized herself.
Gradually, the human growth hormone was overpowering the magic in her system. It was Opal’s bad fortune that she had used her last drop of magic to convince this woman that she was her daughter. Now she was without magic, and was a virtual prisoner in the Italian lady’s vineyard. And, what’s more, she was being forced to work, and that was even worse than being in a coma.
‘Hurry!’ shouted the woman. ‘There is rain forecast, and we have a lot to do.’
Opal took the shovel, resting the blade on the dry earth. It was taller than she was, and its handle was pitted and worn.
‘What should I do with this shovel?’
‘Crack the earth with the blade, then dig an irrigation trench between these two frames. And after dinner, I need you to wash by hand some of the laundry that I have taken in this week. It’s Carmine’s, and you know what his washing is like.’ The lady grimaced, leaving Opal in no doubt as to the state of this person Carmine’s clothing.
The Italian lady picked up a second shovel and began to dig beside Opal.
‘Don’t frown so, Belinda. Work is good for the character. After a few more years, you will see that.’
Opal swung the shovel, dealing the earth a pathetic blow that barely raised a sliver of clay. Already her hands were sore from holding the tool. In an hour she would be a mass of aches and blisters. Maybe the LEP would come and take her away.
Her wish was to be granted — but not until a week later, by which time her nails were cracked and brown and her skin was rough with welts. She had peeled countless potatoes and waited on her new mother hand and foot. Opal was also horrified to discover that her adopted parent kept pigs, and that cleaning out the sty was another one of her seemingly endless duties. By the time the LEPretrieval team came for her, she was almost happy to see them.
E7, HAVEN CITY
Julius Root’s recycling ceremony was held the day after Artemis and Holly arrived in Haven City. All the brass turned up for the commitment ceremony. All the brass, but not Captain Holly Short. Commander Sool refused to allow her to attend the commitment, even under armed guard. The Tribunal investigating the case had not yet made its decision and, until it did, Holly was a suspect in a murder investigation.
So she sat in the executive lounge, watching the commitment ceremony on the big screen. Of all the things Sool had done to her, this was the worst. Julius Root had been her closest friend, and here she was, watching his recycling on a screen, while all the higher-ups attended, looking sad for the cameras.
She covered her face with her hands when they lowered an empty casket into the ornate stone decomposition vat. Had there been any actual remains, the bone and tissue would have completely broken down and nourished the earth.
Tears leaked out between Holly’s fingers, flowing over her hands.
Artemis sat beside her, a gentle hand placed on her shoulder. ‘Julius would have been proud of you. Haven is here today because of what you did.’
Holly sniffed. ‘Maybe. Maybe if I had been a little smarter, Julius would be here today too.’
‘Maybe, but I don’t think so. I have been thinking about it, and there was no way out of that chute. Not without prior knowledge.’
Holly lowered her hands. ‘Thanks, Artemis. That’s a nice thing to say. You’re not going soft, are you?’
Artemis was genuinely puzzled. ‘I honestly don’t know. Half of me wants to be a criminal, and the other half wants to be a normal teenager. I feel like I have two conflicting personalities and a head full of memories that aren’t really mine yet. It’s a strange feeling, not to know who you are exactly.’
‘Don’t worry, Mud Boy,’ said Holly. ‘I’ll keep a close eye on you, to make sure you stay on the straight and narrow.’
‘I have two parents and a bodyguard already trying to do that.’
‘Well then, maybe it’s time to let them.’
The lounge’s doors slid open and Foaly clopped in excitedly, followed by
Commander Sool and a couple of flunkies. Sool was obviously not as thrilled to be in the room as the centaur, and had brought the extra officers along just in case Butler got agitated.
Foaly grabbed Holly by the shoulders. ‘You’re clear,’ he beamed. ‘The Tribunal voted seven to one in your favour.’
Holly scowled at Sool. ‘Let me guess which one.’
Sool bristled. ‘I am still your superior officer, Short. I want to see that reflected in your attitude. You may have escaped this charge, but I will be watching you like a hawk from now on.’
Mulch clicked his fingers in front of Foaly’s face. ‘Hey, pony boy. Over here. What about me? Am I a free dwarf?’
‘Well, the Tribunal decided to go after you for the grand theft auto.’
‘What?’ spluttered Mulch. ‘After I saved the entire city?’
‘But,’ continued Foaly, ‘considering the time already served for an illegal search,
they’re prepared to call it even. No medal, I’m sorry to say.’
Mulch slapped the centaur’s haunch. ‘You couldn’t just say that, could you? You had to draw it out.’
Holly had not stopped scowling at Sool. ‘Let me tell you what Julius told me shortly before he died,’ she said.
‘Please do,’ said Sool, his words dripping with sarcasm. ‘I find everything you say fascinating.’
‘Julius told me, more or less, that my job was to serve the People, and that I should do that any way I could.’
‘Smart fairy. I do hope you intend honouring those words.’
Holly ripped the LEP badge from her shoulder. ‘I do. With you looking over my shoulder on every shift, I won’t be able to help anyone, so I’ve decided to go it alone.’
She tossed the badge on the table. ‘I quit.’
Sool chuckled. ‘If this is a bluff, it won’t work. I’ll be glad to see the back of you.’
‘Holly, don’t do this,’ pleaded Foaly. ‘The force needs you. I need you.’
Holly patted his flank. ‘They accused me of murdering Julius. How can I stay? Don’t worry, old friend. I won’t be far away.’ She nodded at Mulch. ‘Are you coming?’
‘What, me?’
Holly grinned. ‘You’re a free dwarf now, and every private detective needs a partner. Someone with underworld connections.’
Mulch’s chest swelled. ‘Mulch Diggums, private detective. I like that. Hey, I’m not a sidekick, am I? Because the sidekick always gets it.’
‘No. You’re a fully fledged partner. Whatever we make, we split.’
Holly turned to Artemis next.
‘We did it again, Mud Boy. We saved the world, or at least stopped two worlds colliding.’
Artemis nodded. ‘It doesn’t get any easier. Maybe someone else should take a turn.’
Holly punched him playfully in the arm. ‘Who else has our style?’ Then she leaned in and whispered for his ears only, ‘I’ll be in touch. Maybe you might be interested in some consultancy work?’
Artemis cocked one brow and gave a slight nod. It was all the answer she needed.
Butler usually stood to say goodbye, but on this occasion he had to make do with kneeling. Holly was barely visible inside the hug he gave her.
‘Until the next crisis,’ she said.
‘Or maybe you could just visit,’ he replied.
‘Getting a visa will be more difficult, now that I’m a civilian.’
‘You’re sure about this?’
Holly frowned. ‘No. I’m torn.’ S
he nodded at Artemis. ‘But who isn’t?’
Artemis treated Sool to his most scornful gaze. ‘Congratulations, Commander, you have managed to alienate the LEP’s finest officer.’
‘Listen here, human,’ began Sool, but Butler growled and the words withered in the commander’s throat. The gnome stepped quickly behind the larger of his officers.
‘Send them home. Now.’
The officers drew their sidearms, aimed and fired. A tranquillizer pellet stuck to
Artemis’s neck, dissolving instantly. The officers hit Butler with four, not taking any chances.
Artemis could hear Holly protesting as his vision blurred like an Impressionist painting. Like The Fairy Thief.
‘There’s no need for that, Sool,’ she said, catching Artemis’s elbow. ‘They’ve seen the chute already. You could have returned them conscious.’
Sool’s voice sounded as though he were speaking from the bottom of a well. ‘I’m not taking any chances, Captain, I mean, Miss Short. Humans are violent creatures by nature, especially when they are being transported.’
Artemis felt Holly’s hand on his chest. Under his jacket, slipping something into his pocket. But he couldn’t ask what because his tongue would not obey him. All he could do with his mouth was breathe. He heard a thump behind him.
Butler’s gone, he concluded. Just me left.
And then he was gone too.
FOWL MANOR
Artemis came to gradually. He felt well and rested, and all his memories were in place. Then again, maybe they weren’t. How would he know?
He opened his eyes and saw the fresco on the ceiling above. He was back in his own room.
Artemis did not move for several moments. It wasn’t that he couldn’t move, it was just that lying here like this seemed utterly luxurious. There were no pixies after him, or trolls homing in on his scent, or fairy tribunals judging him. He could lie here and simply think. His favourite occupation.
Artemis Fowl had a big decision to make. Which way would his life go from here?
The decision was his. He could not blame circumstances or peer pressure. He was his own person, and intelligent enough to realize it.
