by Josie Kerr
“Hey C, you okay?” Tig looked at him with concern.
“Yeah, Tig, just thinking about some stuff. Hey, can I ask you a question? You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want, but I need another perspective.”
Tig, who was thrilled that a fighter as successful as Colin Carmichael was taking a personal interest in him, jumped at the chance to interact with his fighting hero. “Sure. What’s up?”
“How is your relationship with your dad?” Colin asked.
“Oh boy. That’s a pretty complicated question,” Tig said as he rubbed the back of his head with one hand. “Well, my dad is, or was, not great for a long time. He and my mom never married and he was in jail for the first three years of my life. My mom was married to my stepfather before he got out and she and my stepfather kept me from him until I was eight.”
“How did that make you feel?” Shit, this was uncannily like Bailey’s situation.
“Well, it would have been better if I had known that my stepdad wasn’t my bio-dad and if my bio-dad hadn’t crashed my eighth birthday party, drunk and yelling about my bitch of a mother keeping her son away from his ‘real’ dad.” Okay, maybe not so much.
“Good God, Tig. That’s awful.”
Tig nodded. “It was for a while. My stepdad is kind of an asshole, too, and didn’t make things much better. He basically made my mom decide between him and me having a relationship with my dad.”
“So how did it all turn out?”
“My mom is still with my stepdad, but she put her foot down when I was 12 and me and my bio-dad are close now. I do wonder sometimes that if my stepdad hadn’t been in the picture if my mom would have gotten back with my father. He’s an okay guy, especially now that he’s not drinking and hanging out with his high school squad. They were the ones that were robbing the house where he got caught.” Tig shrugged. “He made some bad choices, but he cleaned his act up.”
“Thanks for sharing that, Tig.”
“But I gotta tell you that my relationship with my mom was pretty rocky for a while when I figured out that she didn’t let me see my dad just to keep my stepfather happy. I felt like she chose him over me,” Tig said. He stared at a point on the space on the wall for a few long moments, then shook his head as if to shake something loose. “I hope that helps. I’m gonna finish the towels and lock up, okay?”
“Yeah, okay. I didn’t mean to keep you. See you later, Tig.”
Tig waved and jogged back to the laundry room and Colin made his way through the darkened gym to the parking lot.
Colin sat alone on the couch in “his” side of the duplex that night. Bailey looked at him worriedly when he said he was going to spend the night alone, but didn’t question him or push him.
Tig’s words kept running through his head: I do wonder sometimes that if my stepdad hadn’t been in the picture if my mom would have gotten back with my father. He made some bad choices, but he cleaned his act up.
And then, Colin started thinking about his own father, and his mother, and that asshole Remy. Remy was the one that she went back to, the one she left Duke for, the one that apparently she eventually did marry. If Remy hadn’t been in the picture, would Moira have gone back to Duke, or really, would she have even left? Colin knew without a doubt that Duke would have welcomed Mick with open arms.
Fuck.
Colin ran his hands over his head, trying to block out the niggling feeling that he was the one who was standing between Maude and a good relationship with her father.
But I gotta tell you that my relationship with my mom was pretty rocky for a while when I figured out that she didn’t let me see my dad just to keep my stepfather happy. I felt like she chose him over me.
There was no way that he was going to let Maude feel that way, or let Bailey feel like she had to keep Maude away from her biological father because Colin didn’t like the guy.
Colin sat on that couch all night, and when the sun was just peeking over the horizon, he had come to a decision.
Chapter Twenty-eight
“Where’s Bailey today?” Em asked Rory. “She’s never out.”
“She called in, said she wasn’t feeling well. She sounded like shite,” Rory said with a frown. “Mam said that she didn’t drop Maude off, though. If she’s feeling as bad as she sounded, she should be taking the day to sleep.”
“I’ll go over there after my conference call and pick up Maude.”
Em quietly rapped on the front door, listening for movement in the house. She couldn’t hear anything from inside. She knocked again, and could hear the soft murmurs of Bailey’s voice.
“Bailey, honey, are you okay?” Em said through the door. “Can I take Maude to Sheila’s so you can rest?”
“I’m fine, Em. Just feeling under the weather.”
Em frowned when Bailey just spoke through the door and didn’t let her inside. “Bailey, open the door, sugar.”
“No, I don’t want you to catch what I’ve got.”
“I want to see your face. You know I have a house key, and I’ll let myself in if you don’t.” Em had a bad, bad feeling. “Bailey, sugar...”
Em heard the door unlock, but Bailey didn’t let her in. She twisted the handle and poked her head inside.
Bailey stood in the middle of the living room, Maude on her hip.
“Bailey, honey, what’s wrong?” Em flew to the younger woman’s side and touched her face. “Bailey?”
“He doesn’t want to see me anymore,” Bailey whispered in a broken voice.
“Who? Surely you can’t mean Colin.”
She nodded.
“What the actual fuck? What happened?” Em tugged on Bailey’s hand to go to the couch and sit.
Bailey took a deep breath and almost burst out into more tears when Maude silently patted her cheeks. She pressed her lips to the baby’s head and gathered herself.
“He said that he didn't want to be the one that prevented Maude from having a relationship with her father, that he didn’t want me to feel like I had to choose between him and Maude.
“That makes absolutely no sense,” Em said with an incredulous shake of her head.
“I know it doesn't make any sense. I don't know where this is coming from or where he got the crazy idea that he was making me choose anything.”
“Do you think Tripp talked to him?”
Bailey shrugged. “If he did, I don't know when he did it.”
Em was still stunned. “I....just don't know what to say, Bailey.”
“There isn't a lot to say, Em. He’s gone.”
Em patted her friend's hand.
“Junior, man, you need to see this.”
“Tig, I got more stuff to do than listen to you rattle today.” Junior turned to look at the small fighter and stopped at the look on his face. “What’s wrong, Tig?
Tig just waved Junior back towards the dormitories and set off down the hall.
Tig stopped in front of a door and threw it open.
“What the fuck is this?”
“I don’t know, but I think I may have been the cause of it, Junior.”
“Tig, spit it out.”
“Well, see, Colin wanted to talk to me yesterday afternoon...”
Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Junior stood in the middle of the small studio apartment with a pissed-off expression on his face. His jaw worked and his nostrils flared. Goddammit, Colin. What the fuck have you done?
Junior heard the door open behind and turned.
“Wha…what the hell are you doing in my room, Junior?”
“Your room? Your room? Colin, why the fuck are there suitcases on this bed?”
Colin didn’t answer him, but stared straight ahead, still frozen in the doorway.
“You gotta sweet little duplex with a sweet little woman and sweet little baby. What the fuck are you doing with your suitcase on the bed of a fighter’s dormitory, Gordo?”
Junior�
��s demands seemed to have spurred Colin to move. He shoved by his trainer to put a towel and water bottle down on a small table.
“Don’t have to justify myself to you, Junior.”
“Like fuck you do, Colin.”
Colin winced. The only time Junior called him by his given name was when he was getting ready to do or had done something completely idiotic.
“Colin, what the fuck is going on?” Junior’s voice was still hard, but his eyes had softened with concern.
Colin sank into a chair. “I’m backing off from Bailey.”
Junior squeezed his eyes shut and kept them closed as he tried to figure out what the hell Colin was thinking. “Why in the world would you do that, Colin?”
“To let her have a chance to be a real family with Tripp and Maude.”
“That is about the stupidest thing that I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth, Colin, and I’ve heard you say a lot of stupid shit over the years.”
“You don’t know what it’s like, Junior!”
“Oh, Gordo, you did not just play that card with me.” Junior got in Colin’s face. “How long have I known you? How long? How many times have you played the “poor me” card? Hmm? That’s right, none. You have never played the victim. What’s going on now? Why this time? Tell me, Colin, so I can feel bad for you.”
Colin looked out the window. Junior could see his jaw clench and couldn’t help but push. “What’s different this time, Colin?” he said quietly.
“Because I love her.” His words were so soft that he didn’t know if he really said them.
“What, Gordo?”
Colin cleared his throat. “It’s different because I love her.”
Colin felt Junior relax. “Well, thank fuck you finally admitted that, Colin. Dios.” Colin felt a big hand grip the back of his neck. “But why did you leave her then, if you love her?”
Colin looked Junior. “Because Maude deserves to have a real family with her mother and father under one roof.”
“What if her mother doesn’t want that?”
“You haven’t seen them together, Junior, and you didn’t talk to Tripp about this. He loves both of them, and they’re getting along so well. And...”
Junior interrupted Colin. “Did you ever think that they’re getting along so well because they’re not together?”
Colin snapped his mouth shut. “No.”
“No, you hadn’t considered it, or just, ‘no’?”
“Both,” Colin ground out.
Junior pointed at him, then put his hand down, and then pointed again. “You are making a huge mistake, Colin. Gigantic. I’m gonna let you wallow and fuck up for a while, but believe you me, I’m gonna put an end to this stupidity if you don’t get your head out of your ass.”
Colin didn’t acknowledge his friend, just sat with his elbows on his knees. He was still in that position when Junior left the dormitory room.
Chapter Thirty
“What the fuck is he thinking?” Em whispered furiously to Rory. “I have half a mind to go over to that gym and kick his ass myself.”
“I can hear you two, you know.” Bailey came and stood in front of Em and Rory and tapped her foot. “Is there something you two would like to share with the class?”
“I thought you could hear us,” Rory said, then immediately regretted it when Em punched him in the arm. “Fuck, Em, Ashley been teaching you to frog-punch?”
Em punched him again for good measure. “I’ve known Ashley for 30-odd years. That means I’ve known her brothers for that long. Believe me, I needed to know how to frog-punch as much as she did.”
Bailey rolled her eyes. “Y’all just need to leave me alone.” She shook her head and wandered down the hall to the front lobby. If she took deep breaths, she could keep from crying, because no client wanted to see a teary-eyes mess at the front desk. She slowed to open the door and Em and Rory both almost crashed into her. She turned and glared at them. Rory had the sense to look abashed and head to his office, but Em kept on following her to the front.
Bailey ignored Em by tidying up her already spotless workspace and checking paper levels on the printers and the copier.
“Em, you need to get your little nosy behind back to your desk or you’re gonna make me break one of your cardinal office place rules.” She took a deep shuddering breath.
“Oh, Bailey...”
Tears leaked out her eyes and Bailey said, with a watery laugh, “Dammit, Em.” She blew out a breath and huffed another laugh.
Rory slammed out into the lobby. “Fuck it. Em, you’re driving because you’ve got the biggest car now. Bailey, no fussin’, we’re going out to lunch.”
“Rory, it’s only 9:45...”
Rory halted and looked at his watch. “Okay, we’re going out for a late breakfast, then. Come on.”
“What about brunch?” Em’s lip twitched.
“Do I fucking look like someone who goes to fucking brunch?” Rory demanded.
Em and Bailey looked at Rory in his bespoke shoes, and his manicured hands buttoning up the vest of his custom suit, and then looked at each other, and then turned back to him.
“Yes.”
“Tuck into that, girlie, it will do you good,” Rory said through a mouthful of sausage.
Bailey shook her head as she slathered butter on a piece of sourdough toast. Only Rory Doyle could force his way into a restaurant that didn’t open for hours and get a full Irish breakfast served up.
She looked at her bossy friend as she chewed. He was impeccably dressed as always, but he had his tie thrown over his shoulder and one napkin tucked into his collar and another in his lap as he made quick work of the mound of food on his plate.
“Do you even own any t-shirts?”
“Sure.”
“That aren’t undershirts to be worn with your dress shirts?”
“Um...”
“That’s what I thought,” Bailey said with a grin. “I bet you even work out in some sort of fancy shirt that does...some sort of fancy work-out stuff.”
Rory scowled and muttered under his breath.
“You’re gonna need to get some regular clothes before those babies come.”
“She’s right,” Em agreed.
“Oi, leave it off. We’re supposed to go shoppin’ this weekend.” Rory continued to mutter while shoving food in his mouth.
“Bailey...” Em began.
“I don’t know what the hell is rattling around in that thick skull of his,” Bailey answered. “The night before last we did our usual stuff and then he got up early to go to Raptor Pryde...” Bailey’s voice trailed off. “He went to Raptor Pryde yesterday.” She looked Em and Rory. “Oh, fartknocker.”
“You’re thinking that Tripp said something to him,” Rory said, his hand clenching a third napkin.
“Damn straight.” Friggin’ Tripp.
“Yeah, I want three hundred on them. Yeah, right. Yeah, add it to my tab. The spread should cover things. See you.”
Tripp clicked a few entries on his fantasy baseball team and then turned back to the spreadsheet that was his actual job.
He scrolled through the list, muttering to himself. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. He was still looking at the spreadsheet when he heard a knock on his open door. Well, thank God I at least look busy.
“Tripp, there’s someone here to see you.” Roger dipped his head out the door and said, “He’s right in here. Nice to see you, too.”
Tripp leapt to his feet when Bailey walked in his office. “Bailey! I didn’t expect you today. Hell, I didn’t expect you at the office at all.”
Bailey snorted. “Office,” she said under her breath.
Tripp grinned. “Yeah, it’s a bit of a change from my old position.”
“But it seems to suit you, Tripp. I mean it.”
Tripp smiled at her. “Yeah, I have to admit it does. So what brings you here?”
“Well, I’d l
ike to talk to you about some things.”
“Em, I’ve gotta say something to you, so just let me say my piece and then we can move on.”
Em frowned. “I don’t like this already, Bailey.”
The two women and their girls sat in the floor, books and stuffed animals scattered around them.
“Em, I’m so sorry that I treated you so poorly right after you left the Holbrook Firm. I’m not going to make excuses for my behavior, either, because there is no excuse for it. Friends don’t do that to friends.”
“Oh, Bailey. I don’t know what Tripp told you about our relationship at end, but trust me, it had been over a long time before I started working at Tara. We were barely roommates. We hadn’t had sex in years.”
“He was telling the truth?”
Em laughed. “I think, for once, yes, he was.”
“Huh.” Bailey sifted through these facts. She didn’t know if they made what she was going to admit better or worse.
“I’ve agreed to go out with him,” she blurted.
“You’re going out. On a date. With Tripp.”
She has finally dropped her goddamn basket, Em thought.
“This is crazy, isn’t it? It’s crazy.”
“Well, it’s not anything that I’d say I expected, Bailey.” Em was trying to be as diplomatic as possible. “What...wh...”
Bailey cocked an eyebrow at her.
“Okay, Bailey, just what the actual fuck are you thinking is going to come of this? I mean, I get that you were involved with him before, and hell, I even tried again with him, but honey….”
Bailey blinked and then burst out laughing. Seeing her mother laugh, Maude clapped and toddled over. She fell into her mother’s arms and both of them rolled around on the floor and giggled.
“Oh, dear Lord, I have no idea what I’m doing, Em. I have no idea.” Maude patted her mother’s face while Bailey patted Maude’s back. Bailey sighed and said, “What I do know is that he hasn’t called me and hasn’t been back to the house since he left. Or at least he hasn’t when I’m home.”
