by Trina M. Lee
The discomfort we’d both been successfully battling settled over us like a heavy blanket. The love that could never be. Our story would have no happy ending; it was impossible. And yet, we were so inextricably, emotionally entangled.
I found it hard to meet his eyes and searched for any reason to break contact. “I guess this means I’m really big time now. Is this some kind of rite of passage or something?”
“Take this seriously, Alexa. We need to find out who’s got it in for you. Don’t be reckless or careless. That just makes it easy for them.”
“I know. I appreciate your concern. Really, I do.” Guilt settled in to taunt me for my suspicious thoughts a few minutes prior. How could I think he would be capable of double-crossing me?
“You know I would do anything for you.”
“Don’t get yourself killed for me. I mean it, Kale. I can handle this. I’ll deal with it somehow. But, I don’t want anyone I love getting hurt because of me.”
Strained silence settled over us as we both sat with the awareness that this was as close to acknowledging our feelings as we were going to get. Everything we could say had already been said. We had to move on.
Chapter Six
Nearing sunrise, I made the short trip down the highway from Edmonton to Stony Plain, my small but cozy hometown. Despite the insanity of my evening, my biggest worry right then was the lack of communication from Shaz. I’d expected to hear from him by now. It was driving me nuts. I couldn’t leave it this way. We had to talk.
When I saw my empty driveway and equally vacant house, my hopes took a nosedive. I parked in front of the house but didn’t turn my car off. Instead, I pulled out my phone and called Shaz. Holding my breath, I listened to the ringing in my ear, knowing he wasn’t going to answer. The call went to voicemail, and I hung up. He was purposely avoiding me.
With a sigh and a few choice curse words, I turned the car around and made Shaz’s apartment my next destination. The five-minute drive was spent attempting to come up with the right thing to say. So, when I turned into the parking lot and saw his empty parking space, I was both surprised and crestfallen.
My mind raced, conjuring up all the possible places he could be. None of them made me feel any better. Slamming a hand against the steering wheel, I turned to my phone in desperation and called Arys. It was close enough to sunrise that he should be home.
“Hello, beautiful wolf.” Arys’s voice was low and seductive. “I assume you’re looking for the pup.”
“Yes.” It was good to hear Arys’s silky smooth tone. Even through the phone, it sent a happy tickle down my spine. “He tore out of The Wicked Kiss earlier. We had a bit of an incident.”
There was a pause, and I expected Arys to start grilling me for details. So I was blown away when he said, “I know. He’s here.”
That was the last place I would have guessed Shaz to be. “Um, what the hell?”
“Don’t analyze it. Just come by. See you soon.”
I stared at my phone long after he’d disconnected the call. I wasn’t sure how I felt about Shaz going to Arys. It was just so unlikely. I didn’t know what to make of it.
By the time I stood on Arys’s front step, I was a mess of nerves. I tried to swallow my unease, knowing how obvious it would be to them. There was no shaking it; I fully expected to be the bad guy here.
The sound of their voices reached me when I pushed the door open. Any other time that would have been a welcome sound. I dropped my shoulder bag on the counter and crossed through the small, rarely used kitchen to the living room. Arys’s house was small but cozy. He had the blinds tightly drawn to keep out the sun, but a tall flood lamp bathed the room in a warm glow, creating the illusion of early evening rather than early morning.
Arys was the picture of comfort in a recliner, clad only in a pair of red and black checker pajama pants. Shaz stood stiffly in the center of the room, as if he’d stopped mid-pace. Our eyes met, and something crumbled inside me.
The carefully constructed neutral expression he forced did nothing to hide the pain and anguish in his jade gaze. He had promised this wouldn’t break us, but it was, I could feel it.
“Hey,” he said, and that one simple word was loaded with emotion.
So many things threatened to spill forth in a torrent of rushed desperation. It took a moment for me to sort my thoughts. “We need to talk.”
“Look, Alexa. You had every right to do what you did tonight. But, I don’t want to see a repeat of that.” Shaz paused, running a hand through his hair, a nervous gesture. “And, I don’t want to see that agony in your eyes every time you look at me.”
“You should have killed her,” Arys interjected. He shot me a direct look, one that clearly stated he expected me to do just that. “It wouldn’t hurt to make an example of somebody.”
Choosing not to address Arys’s comment, I kept my focus on my white wolf. It broke my heart to look at him, feeling this wall growing between us.
“You have every right to make your own choices, Shaz. I can’t stop you from being with her or anyone else. But, I don’t want to watch you lose yourself in that world. You don’t belong there.”
“I know,” he agreed, his steady gaze wavered. He looked down at the floor, studying the carpet at his feet. “There was a time when I believed that you didn’t belong there either.”
“I don’t.” My stomach was floaty and twisted. I felt ill. “I don’t want to.”
“But, you do. I saw what you did tonight. It proves more than anything that you belong in that world.”
The silence was deafening. Arys looked back and forth between us but said nothing. A series of memories swarmed me: Shaz and I when we were both still so new and raw as werewolves. Back then, we had sought comfort in one another, and I’d believed it was the worst life was going to get.
“I just want you to be happy.”
Shaz looked at me sharply. His eyes flashed with anger. “I want us both to be happy. But, you had to go do something stupid, and then I did something just as stupid. This isn’t the way it was supposed to be.”
It wasn’t. Life in our small town had allowed us both to harbor picket fence dreams. With the forest blanketing the edge of town, Stony Plain was perfect for us, but I’d always known that idyllic life would never be mine.
“I know.” I stood there with them staring at me, feeling put on the spot.
Without budging from his comfy chair, Arys drew our attention with a raised hand. “I think you two are making this out to be a bigger issue than it needs to be. It’s a less than pleasant situation driven by human nature. You have to let it go. And, staying away from The Wicked Kiss wouldn’t be a bad idea. For both of you.”
A muscle twitched in Shaz’s clenched jaw. “Let it go? Seriously? This coming from the man who is probably the most jealous, possessive one of the three of us. Funny, Arys.”
Arys smiled, a sensual flash of fang. “This isn’t about me. You’re both hurting, filled with remorse, jealousy and forbidden desires. Well… welcome to life. Never has a pair of devoted lovers walked this earth without facing their share of trials and tribulations. Why do you think wedding vows have all that for better or for worse stuff? Get over it or give up. There are no other options.”
Couldn’t argue with that. I knew he was right. That damn vampire was almost always right. I’d never admit it too readily, though.
Shaz nodded his platinum head and shuffled his feet. “I’m not willing to give up.” To me he said, “Are you?”
“No.” I didn’t have to think about it. “Not a chance.”
“Alright then.” Arys nodded approvingly and gestured to each of us with a hand. “I now pronounce you both over it. A month of the two of you brooding is more than enough. Precious wasted time, you know.” Casting his dark blue gaze on Shaz, he added with a grin, “Now kiss your woman and make it official.”
A boyish smile graced Shaz’s lips, and I adored him just a little bit more. He was so special. My emotion
s surged when he obeyed Arys and crossed the room to pull me into his arms.
His kiss was tender but restrained. I could feel his uncertainty, the same fearful doubt I felt. Scents of The Wicked Kiss lingered faintly on him, but beneath that was the heady aroma of wolf and Shaz. It transported me to a place where the forest embraced us and the moon was our only master. I longed for the pure simplicity of the wolf’s world.
Arys demanding that we just get over it wasn’t going to make this all disappear. Still, he’d made a point. Love was hard. Fight for it or fail. I was going to fight.
I became increasingly aware of Arys’s intense stare, but Shaz seemed oblivious. He nuzzled the side of my face, his breath warm against my ear. “Don’t let me lose myself in that place, Lex. I can’t live that way.”
It was something eerily similar to what I’d said to him not too long ago. Asking Shaz and Kylarai to kill me if I rose after death as a maniacal, blood-crazed vampire had been my way of ensuring I never had to live lost entirely to the consuming darkness. Yet, I was already halfway there.
“I won’t let it have you.” I held him tight, my arms around his neck as I hugged him close.
The creak of leather was loud in the quiet as Arys shifted his weight on the recliner. He waited until we looked at him before speaking. “I won’t lose either of you to The Wicked Kiss. It’s vile and filthy. Stay away from it. I mean it. It’s Sinclair’s problem now.”
There was no room for argument in his tone. Since Harley had first come to town almost a year ago, The Wicked Kiss had been nothing but a blight. I’d spent more time there than anyone should in their lifetime, and I wasn’t even a patron.
“That place is pure evil.” Shaz’s words were muffled in my hair. He held me like he’d never let go. “I’m not myself when I’m there. I hate what it does to me.”
“It needs to be burnt to the ground.” Arys’s offhanded remark set off warning bells for me.
“Don’t do anything stupid, Arys.” I pulled away from Shaz so I could look at Arys but didn’t release him entirely. I clasped his hand in mine, fearful of letting go. “If The Kiss was destroyed, everyone who frequents it would find somewhere else to carry on their business. I don’t want that.”
I saw the hard set to Arys’s jaw, and I was sure he was going to fight me on it. So when he didn’t, I knew he either planned to argue later or go ahead and torch The Kiss whether I approved or not.
“Alexa’s right.” With an exasperated sigh, Shaz thoughtfully rubbed his chin. “The majority of the vampires there are less than twenty years old. It’s a safe hunting ground for them while the death toll stays far lower than if they were hunting on the streets.”
“Besides,” I felt deflated as fatigue crept in. “It’s better not to have to worry about them in great numbers wreaking havoc on the streets. Too many other things out there are a far bigger threat.”
“You both really have been spending too much time there,” Arys observed with a frown. “It’s warped your brains. Those willing victims are just junkies like the pup.”
“Hey!” Shaz protested.
Arys continued as if he hadn’t been interrupted. “If keeping humans from harm is your goal, allowing them to become addicted to the rush of the bite is hardly the way to do that. Everyone in that place gets off on giving, taking and fucking.”
I made a frustrated sound that was mostly a growl of expletives. “I get it. The place is seriously bad news. I still believe something can be done with it. Even if it takes turning it into a church, I will change that place.” Arys smirked, and I pointed a finger at him before he could open his mouth. “You stop being right. And, don’t get used to it. That streak will run out eventually.”
“Hey, I don’t give a damn about that place or the people there, other than the two of you. It’s a den of weakness and addiction for everyone that delights in the naughty backroom playground. It’s a candy bowl of pills with something for everyone. Up, down or sideways.”
The Wicked Kiss had a way of seducing even the most strong-willed. Vampires readily got their fix of fear, blood and violent sex while humans got off on the rush of screwing a vampire and playing in a dark world that would only consume them. Adrenaline can be just as addictive as anything. Why skydive or bungee jump when you can let death taste you?
I didn’t want to encourage destructive behavior among the human clientele, but I had to ask myself, if they weren’t finding a thrill in the vampire’s bite, would they be on the streets sticking dirty needles in their arms in a desperate attempt to find that rush? Which was the lesser of two evils?
“I don’t care. I’m not making any snap decisions. It’s fucked up, but who’s to say what those people would be doing if they weren’t consorting with vampires?”
“Fine,” Arys said, stretching like a lazy cat. “You call the shots. I really want nothing to do with the place.”
With thoughtful intrigue, I studied him. “You don’t want much to do with anyone or anything outside your personal little bubble. Do you?” I was thinking about how Arys had refused to work with Shya.
“Not particularly. I prefer to look out for number one, and that doesn’t include demons pulling strings in the underworld or vampire junkies in tacky nightclubs.”
“Then what does it include?” Shaz suddenly looked exceptionally interested.
Arys smiled, secrets dancing in his eyes. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
There was a lull in conversation. The perfect moment for me to tell them what had happened outside the club. I still had the crossbow bolt sitting on the passenger seat of my car.
“So, uh, there’s something I should tell you both. Someone took a shot at me tonight.” I launched into retelling all of the events of my evening. As I spoke, I could feel the atmosphere in the room shift.
This was the first time Shaz had heard about the hit. He paled but said little, nodding thoughtfully as I spoke. Arys’s temper quickly flared, and a muscle in his jaw twitched.
“You shouldn’t have gotten involved with the dreamwalker, Alexa. You can do nothing for him. Hell, you can’t even keep yourself out of trouble.”
“What?” I stared at him, unable to believe what I was hearing. “That’s what you focus on out of everything I’ve said?”
Arys looked annoyed. “This is demon stuff you’re messing with. Shya isn’t going to put up with any shit. If he wants the kid, he’ll have him. You have bigger problems, like almost taking a bolt to the head.”
“I can’t help but wonder what things would have been like for me if Shya and Veryl hadn’t lured me in. I can’t stand by while they do it to someone else. Don’t make me feel bad about that.” It wasn’t worth arguing with him, but my feelings on this were valid.
Arys scowled. “I don’t want to lose you. Why must you hold that against me?”
“You know I don’t. But, this is my life, and I’m tired of having it manipulated by others. I can make my own decisions. They may not be the best ones, but they are mine to make.”
“The dreamwalker’s life is not yours to save.” Arys’s tone was low and smooth but deadly. “You won’t be any help to him or anybody else if you’re dead. Or worse. I don’t control you and neither does Shya. If you want to run around alone taunting people to take a shot at you, go right ahead. Maybe fucking up a few too many times will cure you from your insane obsession with death.”
“Don’t be a dick, Arys,” I warned. I looked at him through wolf eyes, staring intently until he shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest.
We faced off across the living room, adversaries in the heat of the moment. Arys brought out my feisty, defensive nature like nobody else. I think we both enjoyed the conflict; we fed off the fire.
“So, if you guys are done,” Shaz broke in. “Well, even if you’re not done, I’d like to state for the record that I think finding out who has a hit out on Lex is more important than arguing about whether or not she can take care of herself. I think she’s more than capabl
e.”
“Thank you,” I said quietly. His support meant a lot, but it would have meant more if he hadn’t just been getting his rocks off with someone else. It wasn’t fair of me to think like that.
Arys smirked and Shaz gave him a derogatory look. It still astounded me how much Shaz had changed since we’d first met. I tried to pinpoint exactly when he’d matured from a frightened teenager to the Alpha wolf he now was. Had one specific event brought it forth, or was it always there beneath the surface? The years had gone by so fast. So much had changed, including us.
“I can’t let myself be intimidated by an asshole with a crossbow. I caught that damn thing, Arys. Inches from my face.” I refused to let him plant the seed of worry. “I know I’m not invincible, but I have power, and I’m finally learning how to use it.”
“We’ll find out who it is,” Arys declared. “But in the meantime, all I ask is that you be careful. Don’t be so reckless.”
He was hiding something, some thought or fear. There had been a time when Arys considered my ties to the human world to be little more than an inconvenience. What had changed?
The vampire looked between Shaz and me, contemplating. “As long as you’re here, pup, there’s something else you should know.”
“What?” Shaz was immediately suspicious.
I shook my head and shot Arys a warning glare that he ignored. Keeping his gaze on Shaz, he told him all about the journal and the twin flame revelation. Hearing the twin flame information repeated didn’t make it any easier to swallow. If anything, it was harder because I was coming to accept it as true.
My white wolf looked devastated. He sat heavily on the end of the couch, staring at the floor. “So it’s not just circumstance. You’re really part of him.”
I knew what he was thinking. He was wrong. I exchanged a look with Arys. He must have seen the helplessness in my eyes.
“Don’t miss the point, pup,” he said. “Alexa and I are halves of a whole, but we were never meant to exist together. Not without a reason. And, the odds of us finding out what that reason is before our bond destroys us are slim.”
