by Trina M. Lee
For a moment I was afraid he’d say yes. I saw the hard set to his jaw and the ice in his eyes. With an exasperated, “Fuck,” he shook his head, and his gaze dropped. “You know I wouldn’t.”
“Then don’t you ever again ask me to watch you die.” My voice trembled.
Silence fell between us. Kale slid onto the barstool next to me. As close as we sat to one another, we were worlds apart. I knew then with sobering certainty that we were forever changed, irreparably damaged.
“I can’t live with the fact that you owe Shya in my place. It isn’t right.” Kale didn’t look at me when he spoke. “Your other half must be waiting. So, why are you here drowning your liver in whiskey?”
“Because the alternative is messy.” I picked at the label on the bottle I held as that truth fell from my lips. Booze was a poor substitute for blood.
Sitting beside Kale with his honey-drenched energy, I couldn’t help but think about the night we’d killed Abigail. That night was coming after us now, with a vengeance. The memory steered my thoughts down that forbidden path to the night we made love in the rain. I was reminded of the deep satisfaction that could be found in the pleasures of body and blood. I blushed and turned away so he wouldn’t see.
Awkwardness settled in to steal my words. There was a good chance I’d say something we’d both regret, so I bit my tongue and sipped my whiskey.
“I’m sorry about what happened with Shya.” Kale broke the silence between us, with a gesture toward the dragon on my wrist. “It’s not right that he marked you because of what I did.”
I shrugged and held him with a watchful stare. “It’s not right that you pulled a stunt that got us into a situation like that.”
He stiffened, giving away so much in that small motion. I was sure, if I dropped my shields and let his warm energy wash over me, it would be flavored with pain and rage. The emotions lurked there in his eyes. Kale felt betrayed because I’d refused to give him the easy out that he sought.
How the hell was I supposed to feel guilty about that? My intent had been to save him. Maybe he didn’t want to be saved, but he had no right to punish me for refusing to pull the trigger.
“I did what I did for you. And, the dreamwalker. It wasn’t supposed to blow up in my face.” With a deadly calm, Kale took my hand in his. He studied the dragon before running a finger gently over it. “I understand why you made the choice you did, Alexa.”
A fiery tingle raced up my arm, and my breath caught. He had done all he could to avoid touching me in recent weeks. Now he caressed me boldly, stirring a part of me to life that I’d tried so hard to vanquish.
I knew how passionate Kale’s touch could be. The way it felt to have his hands upon me, holding me tight while he buried himself inside me again and again. I felt the memory shining in my eyes and hoped he wouldn’t see it.
“I think I understand,” he continued. “I know your intentions were good, but I can’t help but feel… betrayed. That run-in with Shya got pretty bad, and it worries me. What if it’s worse next time?”
“It won’t be; Shya got what he was after. Look Kale, I know nobody holds a grudge quite like a vampire.” A growl laced my words. “But, I will not feel bad about this. I won’t!”
Desperation tainted his heady energy. I gave up trying to shield against him. It felt so much better to let him in.
Kale’s gaze dropped as if he couldn’t look into my eyes when he said, “I wish we could take everything back and have it be the way it was before.”
I stared at him with shock and dismay. His words hurt. “What gives, Kale? You’ve been a very willing participant so far. Don’t you dare accuse me of seducing you. I’m not taking the blame for anything else tonight.”
He released my hand suddenly, as if touching me was painful. “If only it had been as simple as that. This isn’t lust. It never was.”
No, it never had been. My anger deflated, and I no longer wanted the illusion of escape the bottle allowed me. I shoved it away with a sigh.
I didn’t know how to react in this situation. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the possibility that my choice to save him from Shya may have been the wrong one.
“So what do you want from me, Kale? I can’t take it back. I don’t even want to. And, I sure as hell won’t kill you myself.”
His eyes flashed with annoyance. “You can’t take this seriously, can you? Never mind. I should know better than to expect you to understand.”
He got up and turned to go. I grasped his wrist with more force than I intended. Our energy collided, creating a spark that lit up the area around us. Our eyes met, and the anger burning in Kale’s enchanting gaze slipped away.
“I can’t do this anymore,” I blurted, pulling my hand back. Something in those amazing eyes led my thoughts down a forbidden path. “I should go.”
“Let’s go somewhere quiet.” Kale took my arm and steered me along. “This isn’t the right place to talk privately.”
“In the back?” I dug my heels in. “Where you have your own private little playroom? No way. Bad idea.”
“Not in my room. Just in the hall.”
I let him pull me through the door that separated the club from the madhouse. We entered into a dimly lit sitting area furnished with a few bistro tables and two black leather couches.
A hallway branched off either side. One way led to the back of the building, to the bedroom where Shaz and I had killed Arys’s sire, Harley. That had been a hell of a night. The opposite end of the hall led to the parking lot exit. That door was rarely used by anyone except those frequenting the back rooms.
The lounge area was empty; everyone was lost in his or her own private world behind the closed doors lining the hall. An array of differing energies swept through as if pushed by a sinister breeze. Fear, lust, hunger. That was just scratching the surface. Goosebumps broke out on my skin in response to the sense-stirring atmosphere.
Kale pulled out a chair for me at the closest table, but I shook my head. I couldn’t sit still. Instead, I stood behind the chair, gripping it until my knuckles turned white. Kale perched on the arm of a nearby couch. He’d put a good six feet or more between us, evidence that the swarm of pulsating energy was teasing his senses, too.
“Now,” he gestured for me to speak. “You have a lot on your mind. Let’s hear it.”
“I feel like I’m going crazy,” I began, my words coming in a rush. An invitation was all I needed to let it all spill out. “It’s like I’m breaking down, and I can’t save myself from what’s coming. Lilah put the hit out on me. My sister comes back from the dead. My relationships with men are all kinds of fucked up, and I can’t help but think it’s because I fucked my mother’s lover. Where does Freud stand on that one?”
“You can’t beat yourself up over that. It was a long time ago, and you didn’t know.” Kale said softly. “You’re the strongest person I know. Strong enough to make a deal with a demon to save someone you care about. Weak people don’t do that shit, Alexa. Weak people don’t have hits out on them.”
“I’ll bet a lot of crazy people do.” My lower lip trembled, and before I could censor myself, I was telling him everything: the twin flame revelation, Shaz’s bad reaction to it, my internal conflict over my sister and why she had never told me she was alive.
Kale listened attentively, showing no emotion or reaction as I spoke. His poker face was good, not so much as a twitch during the twin flame stuff.
“I shouldn’t be dumping this all on you. I’m sorry. It’s been pretty overwhelming.”
“Of course it has. That would be enough to break most people.” His head tilted slightly, as Kale regarded me thoughtfully. “You aren’t most people, Alexa. You can handle it. Besides, it’s all good news for the most part. Your sister is alive, and now you know where your bond with Arys comes from. You should be happy.”
My inner cynic wasn’t too quick to agree. From the look on Kale’s face, he didn’t find any joy in what I had shared. Still, a silver l
ining could be found if I could look beyond the gathering storm clouds. It didn’t all have to be bad. What I’d needed most was to get it off my chest, and now that I had, I was already feeling better.
“I will be happy. Eventually. Once the shock wears off.”
A rush of thrilling energy came up like a sudden rain, stealing my words along with my breath. Desire fueled the immense force. The muffled sound of a woman’s voice reached us. Shrieks gave way to cries of pleasure.
I shuddered, unable to refuse the call of such tantalizing energy. It piqued my interest, stirring my hunger to life. I did not want to react to it. Not here with Kale. Yet, I was pulled by a memory, knowing how easy it would be to blow the door down and devour the power of the vampire driving this dizzying wave.
I shook with the effort it took to hold myself together. I’d come a long way in controlling my power in past months. The hungers, the ache to wrap myself in the ecstasy of letting go… it seemed to grow by the day. As my power grew, so did my weakness. This double-edged sword cut deep. It was going to kill me; I could feel it in my soul.
“You’re dangerous like this.” Kale’s voice was low and rough.
Trying to keep my cool was a challenge. I eyed him curiously. “Dangerous for whom, exactly?”
The roar in my ears grew like thunder rumbling in the distance. Drawing on the energy humming freely around us, I let it sweep in and through me. Kale’s tension was palpable. He reached out to me metaphysically. The hypnotic pull of our hyped-up power mingled, dancing together.
“Dangerous for you if you keep that up.” His voice was low, a sexy murmur. A shock of electricity raced down my spine.
“I’m not doing that on my own, in case you didn’t notice.” I was always ready to devour him.
His energy moved over me, making my knees as weak as my will. I could feel his battle between intrigue and apprehension.
“I’m serious, Alexa. Be careful.” Heat emanated from him in waves. Fueled by emotion, his energy was dark and held the promise of violent passion.
“See what I mean,” I threw both hands up in exasperation. “Crazy. You, me. All of us. Just fucking nuts.”
Kale pushed away from the couch and came dangerously close. I backed up in response, trepidation driving my step. With the tornado of energy coaxing me to enjoy the promised delights, I was tapping some serious strength to resist.
“Crazy definitely covers it,” he murmured. His eyes were twin pools of absolute black. Only the barest trace of color was visible.
The sound of sex grew louder in the otherwise quiet hallway. Kale’s gaze went to my throat, lingering on the bites he’d left there. When his eyes once again met mine, the longing I saw in their depths was startling.
“I need to take off. Thanks for listening, Kale. I appreciate it.”
I shoved past him, my eyes on the exit. It seemed so far away. How did the hallway get so impossibly long?
“So soon? Come to haunt me like the ghost of a memory I can’t stop reliving and then leave me hanging?” His tone was low and deadly.
There it was, the dark side of Kale. The monster beneath the gorgeous eyes and friendly ear had emerged yet again. That evil, tormented side of Kale had led him to attack both Jez and me on separate occasions. Unpredictable and sinister, this creature was a result of several decades of torture at the hands of the one who’d made him.
Slowly I turned to face him. “We shouldn’t be alone together. Not like this. It’s not safe.”
“No. It isn’t.”
I never made it another step before Kale had me pressed up against the wall. With a hand on either side of my head, he stood painfully close but not quite touching. I couldn’t possibly slip past him without making it physical. Patience and restraint, I had to have them.
“Please,” I whispered, careful to keep my tone neutral. “Don’t do this. It can’t always happen like this. Let me go.”
He closed his eyes and pounded a fist against the wall beside my head in frustration. It was loud, echoing in the empty space around us. “Why didn’t you let him kill me? You could have set me free.”
When his eyes reopened, the pupils had shrunk down. In them, I saw pain.
I could offer him nothing. No words of comfort. No apology that wouldn’t be a lie. So, I shook my head sadly and didn’t say a thing. With a hand on the side of his face, I leaned in and brushed my lips across his.
Kale returned my kiss with a gentle passion that crushed me. Despite how dangerous he could be, I felt safe with him. Too safe. And, that made it risky.
With a ragged sigh, I broke off the kiss and said, “I’m setting you free now.”
I gave in to the urge to slide a hand through his hair. I had done a pretty good job at burying my confusing feelings for Kale, but this made the wounds new again. Raw.
He stepped back, freeing me from his hold. I gave his hand a squeeze before turning toward the glowing red exit sign. “Goodnight, Kale.”
Chapter Fifteen
“You reek like booze. And Sinclair.” Arys waited for me outside, leaning against my car with arms crossed and a sexy scowl on his face. “Sure you should be driving?”
Ignoring his jibe, I tossed my keys at him. “Feel free.”
I hated it when Arys drove. He was a menace behind the wheel though he somehow managed to escape incident. However, driving would keep him from glowering at me in the dark while I drove, which made it an easy decision.
I winced when he peeled out of the parking lot with a squeal of tires. “What’s the rush? It won’t be sunrise for two more hours.”
“Shaz needs you to give him a hand with your new wolf. When you didn’t answer your phone, he called me. Sounds like Coby’s losing his marbles.”
I groaned as the worst-case scenario played out in my head. “He wolfed out in public a few days ago. That can’t happen again.”
“Better keep your fingers crossed then.”
The drive back to town was spent in silence. I stared out the window as the scenery whipped by. Arys’s discontent marched across my skin like an angry troop of fire ants. So, he was ticked about my choice to save Kale’s ass. But, how could he expect anything less of me? Arys and I belonged together. That didn’t mean I would never form bonds with or have feelings for others. Kale and I were friends. I wasn’t turning my back on that.
Arys drove to the park on the edge of town. A concrete walking path wound through the grass and trees in a wide circle that led around a large pond complete with a fountain.
As I drew close to the gazebo at the park’s entrance, I saw Shaz and Coby. The glow of a streetlight illuminated their silhouettes. Shaz stood stiffly, braced as if ready to pounce. Coby’s hunched frame and arched back alerted me to exactly how close he was to the change. My pace quickened.
“Thank God you’re here.” Shaz’s tension was palpable. He fixed me with eyes that were pure wolf. The strain of keeping Coby from losing it was showing. A sniff in my direction drew him right to the wounds on my neck. He looked from me to Arys but said nothing.
I crouched near Coby and gently pulled his shaky hands from his face. Claws protruded from his fingertips. His hazel eyes were wild, all wolf. He bared fangs, and a growl rumbled low in his throat.
“What happened?” I asked Shaz though my gaze was locked on the man about to burst into a wolf. Coby’s energy ran hot. I focused on it, letting it flow over me. He was barely hanging on.
“We went to Lucy’s Lounge to have a beer and shoot some pool. I think it all just overwhelmed him, being there with so many people. So many smells.” Shaz shrugged as if it was self-explanatory.
In some ways it was.
A bar was filled with a wide array of human scents. Any one of them could trigger the wolf. Fear, pheromones, and sensuality all caught the wolf’s attention and enticed the predator to hunt. This wasn’t like the bloodlust; the change was confusing when it was new. If the wolf suddenly decided to break free and prowl after a particular enticing scent, it was
nearly impossible to stop it.
Coby stank of fear, rage and wolf. His energy was a mess of ever changing vibes, taunting the vampire power lying in quiet wait inside me. I took a deep breath, focusing on the night air entering my lungs. I could feel the bloodlust lurking, anticipating the moment when the quaking wolf would push me too far.
“Coby.” His head jerked at the sound of my voice. “You can control this. You have no choice.”
His eyes were wide as he looked from me to Shaz with a whimper. “It hurts. I feel like I’m dying.”
“That’s because you’re fighting it. You are the wolf, Coby. It can’t hurt you.” I waited, giving him a chance to believe that. I wanted him to handle this because I couldn’t bear the thought of having to watch it destroy him. It would be my fault.
He backed away, his body contorting violently as he fought the change. It was hurting him, I knew that. It did hurt, even when giving in and allowing it to happen, but then the pain was brief and quickly became relief and even bliss. Fighting it was excruciating. Watching him stirred my wolf’s sympathy.
“Alexa, do something.” The touch of Shaz’s hand on my arm pulled my gaze to him. He was trembling. Coby’s frightened wolf was affecting him, too.
I’d used my power to manipulate the wolf before. I had forced Zoey, a hybrid trapped in wolf form, back into her human body. I didn’t have time to think about the root of that power, the twin flame revelation or the events of the evening thus far. My wolf was in pain, and I reacted.
The moment I touched Coby, my wolf recognized him as mine. He was a part of me in a way that no other wolf I knew was. I sensed the connection of our wolves deep down inside me. Had Raoul felt this way towards me? As the one he’d turned, I had been unaware of our connection.
He growled and snapped but didn’t pull away. I rested my hand against his forehead, bracing against the onslaught of energy pouring from him like an angry wave. He was on his knees before me, our eyes locked.
