Beth grinned. “See, you fit right in. Now you don’t have to tell us anything, but we’re here if you want to talk.”
“Full disclosure,” Hope said, holding her hands up. “I happen to know you’re sort of getting involved with Jesse and Cade, and you should know that I adore them. They saved my husbands’ lives a while back, but that doesn’t mean I won’t listen to you bitch about them. Even heroes can be jerks.”
“They saved someone?” Jesse had mentioned why they’d come to Bliss, but he’d left out that part.
Hope’s eyes got misty. “Oh, yes. My ex sent some men to kill Jamie and Noah, but Jesse and Cade intervened. They risked themselves. They’re good men. You couldn’t do better. Now, how did they totally screw up? Because that look on your face isn’t about some job or the town. That’s a ‘man done me wrong’ face.”
Beth nodded her friend’s way. “Hope would know. Several men have done her wrong. At least one is dead. She can advise you.”
Gemma deeply envied their obvious closeness. What if she could find some of that for herself? Was it worth taking the risk? “We’ve been sort of dating. Nothing serious until last night. I still don’t think it’s serious with Cade. He told me he only wants sex.”
Hope laughed. “Yeah, that’s what Caleb told Holly. He’s engaged now. Men lie, Gemma. Well, maybe they don’t lie, but they aren’t very smart. Go on.”
Could they actually help her understand what had gone wrong? “I didn’t think they needed to know that I’ve gotten a couple of letters.”
“Why would they need to know about your mail?” Beth asked.
Hope sent her a look. “I doubt she’s talking about junk mail.”
“I consider it junk,” she replied. “In my former line of work, we get people who don’t like us, and threatening letters are part of the gig.”
Beth whistled. “I got the spanking of a lifetime for doing the same thing. I know it seems reasonable to keep them out of it, but it isn’t worth the fight. You have to tell them.”
Had she made the wrong move? “Nate told them. And then they tricked me into admitting I should have told them without telling me what I should be telling them, and they made me scream with my mom in the next room. Not an angry scream, if you know what I mean.”
Hope’s lips quirked up. “Yes, I would kill Noah and James if they did that.”
Beth shrugged. “Trev would have done me the courtesy of offering me a gag. He has several. But let me ask you something. Have you been casual about them all this time? Really think to yourself. Were you seeing them because you had nothing better to do or were you interested?”
She’d been interested. If she was honest with herself, she’d been interested from the moment she saw them. Her heart had fluttered when she’d walked into the shop. Cade had been male perfection, and Jesse was so bad-boy biker hot she’d hardly been able to stand it. She remembered her first thought had been to wonder if they were taken and how nice it would be to fall into a typical Bliss relationship. “I was serious. I am serious. But it’s complicated.”
She had a chance to go back to New York and rebuild her career. She couldn’t give that up. Could she?
Hope leaned over and gave her a hug. It was…nice. No fakey hugs from Hope Glen-Bennett. Hope pulled her close and squeezed her. “You need to decide what you want. But you were wrong. You should have told them. If they care about you, even a little, then imagine how they feel right now knowing that you didn’t tell them. Knowing that Nate and Cam have been doing the job that should be theirs.”
She didn’t completely understand this. It was some code that was foreign to her. Maybe it would be best to pack up and leave with Patrick right away, but she knew she couldn’t. She would have to see them. Talk to them.
Figure out what she wanted.
“Thanks,” she whispered, her arms embracing Hope.
Beth smiled when Hope let Gemma go, her arms coming up. “Me, too! Hope and I were talking about the fact that we need another girlfriend. Friendships are like romantic relationships. They come in threesomes. It’s Rachel, Callie, and Jen. Then there’s Laura, Holly, and Nell. It’s just me and Hope because Lucy works so much she can never go out with us. And she hates game night. You can be on our team.”
“Don’t let it scare you,” Hope assured her with a laugh. “It’s mostly a way for the women to get together and drink. Although Beth won’t be doing that for a while. And neither will Jen Talbot. She’s only been pregnant for a few months, but she’s already cranky about missing cocktails.”
Beth winked as she pulled back. “I’m glad I have someone to go through it with.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a card, pressing it to Gemma’s hand. “You call me if you need anything. Or if you want to talk. I hope you stay.”
“You’re okay?” Hope asked.
She was as okay as she could be. “Yes.” She was going to have to swallow her pride and talk to Jesse and Cade before she made any real decisions. And she had to deal with Patrick. “I’m good. And thank you for the talk.”
She followed them out, kind of wishing she could sit down with them instead of dealing with her ex. She looked at him. His salad was in front of him, but he was attempting to talk on his cell.
“It’s going to be fine. Yes. We’ll be back in a couple of days. Don’t worry about it. You told me to get this done and I’ll do it. I just need time. Yes, I know what’s at stake.” He looked up and his eyes flared. “I’ll have to call you later.” His expression was right back to that smooth smile he plastered on his face at every client meeting. “Big case.”
There was always a big case. She sat down and looked at her salad. She didn’t want it. She wanted a burger and fries and maybe a vanilla shake. Hal made perfect vanilla shakes. She picked up the fork in front of her and forced herself to eat a bite of ham and lettuce.
“Gemma,” Patrick’s voice went soft, his eyes huge in his face. “Gemma, babe, don’t panic.”
Why would she panic? “What?”
And then she felt it. Her tongue got thick, swelling in her mouth.
“That was my fork.”
She took a long breath of air, knowing damn well it might be her last.
Chapter Thirteen
“You’re sure?” Jesse asked, his hand on the door to the station house. Despite the fact that Gemma had run, Cade still felt his partner’s will. Jesse had spent every minute of the last few hours looking for her. And he’d spent the last few hours with his heart in his throat. “Because I could come with you. I’m sure Nate can reschedule this meeting.”
“It’s his day off, man. He’s doing us a favor. Someone has to figure out how deep the shit she’s in goes. And one of us needs to find Gemma.” They had called all over the county. They’d checked anywhere they thought she could hide. And come up with nothing.
Jesse pulled the door open and then closed it again. “Why did she run like that? And with him?”
He felt his whole body sag. He probably understood in a way Jesse couldn’t. Everything had become real this morning. And it scared the shit out of Gemma. Jesse didn’t get it. He was ready for the whole relationship thing, but she wasn’t. Not entirely. She might be ready to have sex and date, but they had both pushed her this morning. “She’s a private person, I think. She was horrified everyone knew what she’d been doing. Especially her mom.”
Jesse sighed, a long, deep sound. “I didn’t think about it. I was too mad. And honestly, I don’t understand why it’s a problem. Her mom obviously knows we’re making love. I wanted to stake a claim in a way she couldn’t dispute.”
Despite the severity of the subject, he felt his lips tug up. “I think Gemma can dispute anything you throw at her. She’s not exactly a shrinking violet. You underestimated her. Now, I need to find her so we…so you can talk to her.” He’d almost said we. He didn’t need that. He was close to the edge. He didn’t need to start thinking that way.
Jesse’s eyes narrowed. “You were right the first time, Cade. We need
to talk to her. Go find her.”
“And if she’s thinking about getting back together with her ex?” That was Cade’s greatest fear. Smooth Asshole Lawyer Dude would waltz back in, and Gemma would make a decision matrix based on what they could offer her. Lawyer Dude could offer her fancy cars, jewelry, and apartments in the city. Cade could offer her non-commitment and orgasms. The good news was, Asshole Lawyer didn’t give her orgasms. The bad news? Cade had a tiny fucking apartment that smelled like motor oil. He had to hope she really wanted the orgasms.
“She’s not getting back with him.” Jesse, it seemed, didn’t have the same fears. “She wouldn’t get back together with that asshole if he offered her the moon. She’s got way too much pride. We have to hope we didn’t wound that pride too much this morning. When you find her, tell her I intend to hug the fool out of her before I spank her ass. And tell her I missed her. She was only gone for a few hours, but I missed her.”
The door closed behind Jesse, and he was left with a hole in the pit of his stomach. Jesse was in love with her. He hadn’t said the words, but there was no doubt in Cade’s mind. If Gemma returned his love, where did that leave a coward who was terrified of commitment? Where did that leave a man who cared about them both but knew damn well he didn’t deserve either of them in his life?
His cell chirped, announcing he had a text.
Gemma’s here. Stella’s. Who’s the jerk?
Ty. Well, at least someone had found her. He typed back, his thumbs forming the words.
Ex. Keep an eye on her. Don’t let her leave. On my way.
Cade strode toward the diner, his mind a damn mess. Did he want to confront her?
Gemma Wells was going to drive him completely and utterly mad. What the hell did she not get about the word “casual”? Casual meant things were to be kept on a superficial level, and he got to enjoy the sex without being too serious about any one woman. It meant he kept floating through life. No problems. No connections. No woman who forced her way into his thoughts.
So why couldn’t he think of anything but her? Why did he know deep down that no other woman would ever be as beautiful as Gemma Wells was when he slid inside her? He could still see her face as Jesse played with her ass. She’d viewed it as a challenge and she meant to win. She made his cock jump every time she crossed his mind. He was fucking hard all the time. There was that wonderful peace that happened for two minutes after he came inside her, and then the need built again. She was maddening, obnoxious, tart and sweet at the same time.
And she was going to get her ass whipped.
He couldn’t sit there in the station house and listen to Nate and Cam talk about all the ways someone wanted to kill her. He would go slowly insane because he knew she was somewhere out there with a man who’d broken her heart once before. Jesse would have to give him the rundown later. What he wanted to do was find Gemma, pull her over his lap, and smack her ass until she never thought about running out on him again.
He’d never spanked a woman in his life. That was Jesse’s thing. Cade’s thing was fucking them and then quietly sneaking out and leaving the tender care part to his partner.
His rage at her as she’d left this morning was only tempered by the deep sadness he’d felt at the same time. Gemma made him feel. He’d managed to waltz through life caring for only a few people, but that had started to change the minute they came to Bliss. What should have been a short mission of vengeance turned into something far more dangerous. He’d started to put down roots.
Everyone he loved with the exception of Jesse was dead, and it was his fault. He didn’t deserve roots.
“Cade!” a deep voice called out.
Cade waved as he crossed the street. James Glen had turned out to be one of those damn roots he couldn’t afford. James stood with his partners in the Circle G, Bo O’Malley and Trev McNamara.
He always thought it was surreal to see the former pro football star hanging out around Bliss. He’d seen Trev on TV and in magazines. Now he wore a cowboy hat and dealt with cattle.
“Hey. We heard rumors you were looking for someone.” Bo O’Malley was a big cowboy with a sunny smile and a happy disposition. “We can help you out with that. Our girls found your girl.”
Trev tipped his Stetson toward the diner. “Beth and Hope are redecorating the ranch house, and they claim they can’t plan without Stella’s pie.”
James frowned. “There’s nothing wrong with the ranch house.”
Bo’s baby blues rolled. “Dude, that place hasn’t been updated since 1968. I don’t even know how that fridge is still working.”
“I like it,” James replied.
Trev ignored them. “Beth said they backed you and Jesse up, but you better think twice before you make a girl look bad in front of her momma again. They’re already protective of her. Beth said she’s in. That means something here. Don’t piss those women off, Cade. They stick together.”
James went a little white. “I swear I think they write this shit down so no one ever forgets. I think that game night they’ve been having is actually a plotting session on how to take us all down.”
“Oh, you do not want Gemma joining in on that.” He couldn’t imagine the shit Gemma would come up with. “She’s evil. I mean that in the sweetest way.”
Bo gave him a slap on the back. “So you better walk the straight and narrow, man, or we’re all in trouble.”
“I don’t see how we made her look bad in front of her momma.” He was still confused. Lynn hadn’t had a problem with it. “Her momma now knows how well we take care of her.”
All three other men groaned.
“Dude, she knows how well you doubly penetrate her daughter. It’s not the same. Women are weird about stuff like this. They don’t talk the way we do,” James explained.
Yeah, he didn’t understand that part. “I don’t understand that. We’re involved. Jesse and I have been dancing around her since she showed up in this town. We’re dating. I’ve cooked for her. I made her lunch two times this week. Everyone knows where we were going with that. It’s not a big deal. But we haven’t. You know, the both of us. Not yet. She’s never done that. It takes time.”
What the hell was he doing standing around here gossiping about his damn sex life? It was right on the tip of his stupid tongue to tell them how happy he was that he and Jesse would be her first. And that she was an anal goddess. Most women shrunk away from it. Not his Gemma. She rose to the challenge. She’d fucked the fingers in her ass, begging for more. God, he wanted to fuck her ass. She really was a damn goddess.
“Preparation phase,” Trev said with a hazy grin. “I miss that.”
Bo laughed. “He’s gotten misty eyed over everything since our wife got pregnant.” The two men slid each other a long, meaningful look. They shared a family. It was more than mere friendship. It wasn’t two buds sharing a six-pack and meaningless women as they partied their way across the US. They were building a life.
That was what Jesse wanted. He wanted a family. He wanted a home with Cade and Gemma. Gemma would be the center of the whole fucking world. She was a woman he could trust with the title. But Cade wasn’t a man to be trusted. The thought of a kid depending on him made his stomach turn. And his heart flop a little. A baby who reminded him of his mom or dad. A baby with his name.
His family was gone. His sister dead. His foster mom dead.
But what if he could start over again? What if he could be better this time?
“I swear, you’re as hormonal as Beth,” James said, laughing.
Trev laughed with him. Cade had never met a man as comfortable in his own skin as Trev McNamara. The way Cade heard it, the man had gotten there the hard way, but the happiness Trev had now made Cade think it had probably been worth it.
“You just wait,” Trev said. “Wait until Hope gets pregnant and our kids run around like wild men all over the G. You’ll get sentimental, too.”
“Yeah,” James said, his voice going emotional. “I likely will. I
remember how good it was for me and my brother. It was our little kingdom. I’ve never known freedom the way I did when Noah and I were young. It would have been even better if we’d had more brothers and sisters.”
A home. A real home. A home where Gemma yelled at them when they did dumb shit and welcomed them into her arms at the end of the day. A home she would make the nicest in Bliss because Gemma didn’t do things halfway. If she loved a man she would be fierce, and she would never fall out of it. She would love that man or men until the day she died if she let herself. And if she had children, she would protect them with everything she had.
Like his mom. And his sister. And his foster mom.
How many amazing women would he be blessed with only to watch them die? How many chances did the universe give?
“Cade?”
Bo’s voice startled him out of his thoughts, and he shook his head. “Sorry.”
Bo smiled that sunny smile of his. “No problem. I was asking if you could take a look at Beth’s car. It’s acting up again. Not that she drives it much.”
Beth liked to cycle. She’d been known to ride her bike from the G into town, her torso encased in a brilliant yellow reflective shirt. He and Jesse knew cars better than anyone in Bliss. It was their natural place. “Sure.”
James flashed a grin. “Come out on Sunday and bring Gemma with you. We’ll have a nice dinner. The girls seem to like the hell out of Gemma. We can try to convince the women we’re good boys.”
Yep, Gemma was getting him in trouble. “I’ll let Jesse know. And thanks for the tip. Ty’s watching her. I better go and collect her.”
The other men nodded and waved him on his way.
He took a deep breath. The idea of sitting around a dinner table with friends and their wives, as he and Jesse showed off their girl, didn’t scare him the way it should. And that did scare him. He didn’t want to need her the way he did. She was starting to get her claws in, and they went deep.
What the hell was he going to do? Stay or go? Fight or flight?
If it came to a fight, he would like to take out Lawyer Asshole. That might make him feel better.
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