Violet was dead. Roger had finally succeeded in destroying her. Taking her mate from her hadn’t been enough. He’d had to annihilate any traces of their former happiness. She had probably tried to get her revenge, and had been so blinded by her rage that it left her open to attack. Just like Ilene. It was weird to think that I would never again see the woman who had put so much on the line to help Quinten and I survive.
“Who else?” I asked, hating how hollow and mechanical my voice sounded.
“Six of the Council’s wolves, plus the two dhampirs Darren convinced to fight with us. They were acting as sentries at the edge of the driveway and got overrun. That’s how Roger was able to sneak up on us without being seen. And Brent,” Ray confirmed. “He and I got cornered by a group of vampires. While Carmen and I fought, Brent got overwhelmed. He kept me from getting my neck snapped when one of the cowards crept up behind me, but he left himself open to attack in the process. He was a good friend,” Ray said sadly, glancing over at Nolan, who hadn’t looked up from his hands yet.
Ray was clearly blaming himself for Brent’s death, just like I was blaming myself for Ilene’s. Like father like daughter, I thought morbidly. Thinking about Brent was almost as painful as thinking about Violet, and the thought of never seeing the red-headed giant whose lap I had played on as a child had my gut clenching painfully. Violet and Brent would both be missed dearly, and I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to get over their losses.
“What about Jax and Darren?” I asked quietly, dreading the answer.
“They’re fine,” Ray said, surprising me. “Darren isn’t seriously injured. He’s in your room keeping watch over Jax. Jonathon got swarmed by wolves during the fight; I’m not sure how Darren is taking that news. We thought it best to give him some alone time with Jax while they both recuperated.”
“What happened to Jax?”
“He saved my life, Alanna,” Quinten said, looking at me. I noticed that his eyes stayed locked on mine, and never once flickered over to my scar. “I was fighting with Roger after he killed Violet; I was so angry that she was gone, I couldn’t stop myself. Jax jumped in to help me, and while we were busy with Roger, someone came up from behind me and tried to stake me. They missed my heart by about an inch, and the only reason they missed was because Jax tackled them.
“Before Jax could get back up to properly defend himself, Roger was on him, and I was still busy with the vampire that had just tried to stake me. By the time I had taken care of him, Jax was on the ground covered in a pool of blood, and he was missing a giant chunk of flesh from his hip.”
I looked over at Jenna. “Will he be okay?”
“His body is slowly healing, but the bone was mangled and I didn’t get a chance to set it properly before his healing kicked in,” Jenna said. “Even though he’s healing, his right leg will probably never work right again. He’ll have a serious limp, and he’ll probably have to walk with a cane for the rest of his life.” Her gaze slid over to my scar. “And he’s not the only one that has injuries to live with…”
I sighed. “Ilene got me pretty good. The rest of me is healing slowly but surely. But this one is gonna scar. I can tell. It was deeper and messier than just about anything I’ve suffered through before.”
Jenna nodded her head slowly. “I think you’re right. That will probably scar.”
“It doesn’t change anything,” Quinten said, kneeling down in front of me. He took my hand in his larger ones. “I promise you, Alanna. You’re still the most beautiful girl in the world, with or without that scar. It will never affect my love for you. You have to believe that.” He leaned forward and kissed me softly, as if to reassure me that we were still okay.
“I’m like Roger now,” I said when he pulled away. The thought had been hiding in the back of my mind ever since I first laid eyes on the horrid scar that marred more than a quarter of my face. Roger and I both had ugly wounds from all the fights we had endured.
“You are nothing like him!” Quinten snapped, surprising me. “You are good; he is evil. You can’t get much different than that.”
“But I am like Roger,” I insisted quietly. “Both of us have been ruined because of our choices. Roger chose to seek vengeance for his family, and he paid the price for it. I chose to fight for what I thought was right, and now I’ve paid the price, in more ways than just one. I’ve lost friends, I’ve been hurt, you’ve been hurt, and now I’ve killed my baby sister. These are horrible things I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life. He and I have both been put to the test, and we’ve both been marked by the consequences.”
“Alanna–”
“Quinten, you said that Roger was evil, and I was good, and you can’t get more different than that. But what makes you think I’m good? Sure, I’m fighting for my family and what we think is right, but what makes our cause more justified than anyone else’s? Look at everything I’ve had to do because of our choices. I’ve killed people, Quinten. People who probably had family and friends that will miss them. Even if we defeat Roger, my life will never be the same again. I’ll never be the same again. I’m a killer, Quinten.”
“You had no choice but to kill those people,” he said quietly. “Elias and Roger both forced your hand. You would never under any circumstances just go out and kill a random person, like either of them would. You’re good inside, Alanna. You have to remember that.”
“I’m not so sure there are such things as good and bad anymore. There are just people with beliefs that shape who they are. Roger’s beliefs make him a paranoid, power-hungry man who would do anything to succeed. My beliefs make me a loyal, sometimes angry person who would do anything for the people I love. And that’s the problem with all of this.
“Who’s to say that if my loyalties were somehow to Roger, I wouldn’t be out there in the woods right now, planning to kill all of you? I’m fighting and killing people for all of you, because you’re my family, and I love all of you, and we all think what we’re doing is right. But Roger thinks he’s right, too. If he’d been nice to me, and had won my allegiance, who’s to say I wouldn’t be a cold-blooded killer right now? I don’t think people are inherently good or bad,” I said, mirroring something I’d once told Ilene, before all of this had gone to hell. “I think our choices and the constant influences in our life shape who we are. I’m good because the people around me are good. Roger’s bad because the people around him were bad.”
“Alanna, you were always meant to be good,” Ray said, putting a hand on my shoulder for comfort. “There isn’t a bad bone in your body, and there never will be. I think to a certain extent you might be right; a person’s beliefs shape who they are. Maybe it was just luck of the draw that you have good beliefs while bad luck forced bad beliefs on Roger, or maybe it was something more, but either way, you can’t change that. You are a good person, and he is an evil person. You have to accept that.”
“Your father’s right,” Jenna said. “Roger is evil, Alanna. And if you start to wonder if different circumstances might have molded him differently, perhaps making him a better man, you’ll leave yourself open to an attack. And he won’t take pity on you just because you mistakenly think his vile nature isn’t his own fault. Keep your head clear and always remember that he’s your enemy.”
“I know he’s my enemy,” I said glumly. “I just wish things could be different. I wish I knew why he did the evil things he does. It would make me feel better about killing him soon if I knew for sure that there was never any chance he could have been good. I feel like if Charlotte hadn’t been lost, none of this would have ever happened. If Elias hadn’t destroyed Roger’s life, Roger might have even been our ally in another time.”
“Elias will get what’s coming to him too,” Ray said dangerously. “He’s caused my family too much pain and suffering to escape this time. One of us will finally put an end to his reign of terror. I just hope it gets to be me.”
“You said you fought with Carmen…”
“She
dead,” Ray said slowly, as if he wasn’t sure if he should believe it, or if he thought I might somehow miss her. “I mean, she’s actually dead this time. There’s no coming back. Darren helped me burn the pieces.”
“What happened?” I asked, trying to keep my voice from wavering. Carmen had been a horrible person, and the main reason Ilene had turned out the way she had, but she had still been my mother. I wasn’t sure right now how I felt about her death, and I didn’t want the others to know I wasn’t outright glad to be rid of her.
“She went after Jenna,” Ray said, threading his fingers through Jenna’s. They smiled hesitantly at each other. “Even though she had moved on years ago, Carmen wasn’t very happy that she had been replaced. She attacked, and nearly killed Jenna, before I jumped into the middle of the fight. She begged me to spare her, but I knew the second I did, she would turn around and try and kill me. I guess that kind of treachery runs in the family,” he said glumly.
“Only part of the family,” I reminded him. “Are you going to be alright?” I asked. “I mean, I know you and Carmen haven’t been in love for some time, but, you know…”
“I’ll be fine, Alanna. When Carmen faked her death, our bond broke, and the two of us never officially bonded again, like you and Quinten did. I just need some rest and time to mourn.” He looked over at Jenna, and I squirmed uncomfortably at the love in their eyes. “Plus, I think having Jenna by my side will help me heal faster.”
I looked away as they kissed, and my eyes found Quinten’s. He was staring at me much the same way Ray and Jenna were, and I felt my heart begin to race. It couldn’t have been too long ago, but I couldn’t for the life of me remember the last time Quinten and I had had any kind of alone time to just enjoy each other’s company. The day’s exhaustion hit me all at once, and I felt like I was going to collapse. After the horrible day’s events, I needed Quinten like I had never needed him before.
He nodded his head toward our bedroom, and I got up stiffly from the couch, leaving Jenna and Ray to grow even closer. I closed the bedroom door behind me, and turned to find Darren curled up beside Jax, resting his head on Jax’s massive chest. Jax was covered by a blanket, but I thought I could see the shape of some kind of brace slipped around his hip, probably holding it in place so he didn’t damage it even more while he healed.
He was sweaty and groaning quietly in his sleep and Darren stirred next to him, before moving even closer and wrapping one arm around Jax protectively. The two of them looked to be in perfect sync with one another. When one of them moved, the other moved. When one of them breathed, the other breathed. I wouldn’t have been surprised to find out they were dreaming about one another right now.
Quinten took my hand and I crawled into my bed next to him. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer, until our foreheads were touching. His breath was warm and soft on my face, and I sighed. “I’ve missed being so close to you,” I confessed quietly. Jax and Darren needed their rest, and I didn’t want to wake them.
“I know how you feel,” he said, opening his eyes. They were a darker brown than usual, and I could see the dark circles under them.
“How long has it been since you fed?” I asked. He flinched and didn’t answer me. “Quinten, you have to feed to keep up your strength.”
“Alanna, no–”
“I’m not asking, I’m telling. Quinten, you need to feed, and I want you to take it from me.”
“It’ll hurt the–”
“No, it won’t. Shifting doesn’t hurt them, being ripped to shreds by my sister doesn’t hurt them, and neither will this. They’re tough little buggers, Quinten. It’s you I’m worried about. Now, just feed from me so you don’t pay the price when Roger attacks again. Please,” I begged when he didn’t move. “If I were to lose you now…”
He sighed, and buried his face against my neck. Knowing that I had convinced him, I wrapped my arm around his shoulder, splaying my fingers through the hair at the base of his skull. He moaned quietly, before fastening his lips to the side of my neck. He kissed gently, before opening his mouth and pressing his fangs against the pale skin of my throat. For a brief second there was nothing but a familiar feeling of pressure. Just as the wait was becoming unbearable, his fangs broke the skin, and I stifled a gasp by burying my face in his shoulder.
My hand tightened reflexively, gripping a fistful of his hair as gently as I could. He angled his head better, and he began to drink from me. It had been so long since we had done this I had almost forgotten how immensely pleasurable it was to sustain him while asking for nothing in return. As he drank from me, I pulled myself closer, until our bodies were pressed together and our heartbeats synchronized with each other.
My heartbeat quickened as he drank from me, and my breaths came in short gasps. I clung to Quinten for dear life, hoping that this perfect moment would never have to end. Just as I started to feel dizzy from blood loss, Quinten pulled away with a gasp. His chest was heaving and his breathing was as harsh and labored as mine. “Alanna, that was just what I needed.”
“I know,” I said quietly, burying my face in his shoulder. “You should have asked for it.”
“I didn’t want to risk hurting you. Not now, when so much of the next day or so is riding on you,” he said, kissing my forehead lightly. “You should be at full strength tomorrow, in case you go into labor. We don’t know what’ll happen with these babies, and that little bit of extra exhaustion could make all the difference in the world. It was irresponsible to do, but man did I enjoy it.”
I almost giggled. I wasn’t sure if it was because of the blood loss, or because it was nice hearing Quinten sound so relaxed and like a normal guy, but either way, I didn’t really care. It was nice to just lie next to him and enjoy each other’s company, even if we still had the fight of our lives coming up. For now, it was just the two of us lying here in perfect bliss, and I knew I would sleep better with Quinten’s arms wrapped securely around me and his face nuzzled against my neck.
I rested my head on his chest, and I listened to his heartbeat–which was still in perfect sync with mine–as I fell asleep. I wasn’t sure what would happen tomorrow, but I knew that as long as I had Quinten, everything would find a way to work out in the end.
It had to.
Chapter Sixteen
“Alanna, you have to wake up,” Quinten whispered urgently. He reached out and shook my shoulder less than gently when I didn’t move. After the exhaustion of yesterday, and the healing, and the deaths around us, I was still incredibly tired, and I didn’t feel like getting up yet. I was still trying to force my eyes open when he spoke again. “Alanna, the bed is wet!”
My eyes snapped open and I sat up quickly. The sheets were soaked and they clung to my thighs until I pulled them off with shaking fingers. The mattress was as soaked as the sheets, but it was centered mostly by my thighs. “My water broke,” I said, feeling oddly numb. “How did I not feel anything until now?” I asked, trying to force back the rising panic I was feeling. “Oh, god, we’re having a baby!”
Quinten gracefully leapt off the bed and raced out the door, shouting as he went. “Ray! Jenna! She’s having the baby! What do we do?” He rushed out of hearing distance, and I shifted my hands to caress my stomach. In just a short while, I would officially be a mother. If the day didn’t hold so much danger to me and my children, I would have been incredibly happy that this day was finally here.
Darren stirred from his sleep and looked up at me over Jax’s shoulder. “Alanna, what’s going on? What’s he yelling about?”
“My water broke while we were asleep,” I said, sounding much calmer than I felt.
“What?” Darren yelped, sitting up straighter. Jax sat up, groaning in pain with the effort. “How did you not feel anything until now?” Darren asked, climbing over Jax to stand beside me. “Do you need me to get anything?”
“I’ve got it covered,” Jenna said, rushing into the room in a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt of Ray’s. Her
hair was in a messy bun and she still looked exhausted. “Are you experiencing any pain yet? Any contractions?”
I shook my head, already preparing myself for the upcoming pain. I was focusing on evening out my breathing when Quinten burst into the room again, with Ray close behind him. “We have to get you out of here,” Quinten said. “This is Roger’s last chance to stop you from having these babies, and if he manages to get past everyone, you’re a sitting duck in this room.”
“Where are we gonna go?” I asked, sliding out of bed. Jenna helped to steady me as my legs wobbled, threatening to give out from beneath me. “It’s not like we can walk right past Roger’s camp and head to a hospital. And I doubt he’ll move if we just say please.”
“Dennis is on watch right now,” Ray said, eyeing my stomach with what looked like a mixture of joy and fear. “We’ve had someone on guard all night, in case Roger tried an early morning assault. Dennis will let us know if Roger’s forces begin to stir. Until then, we have a chance to sneak past them and get you to safety.”
“You can’t–”
“No arguing!” Ray snapped, startling me and everyone in the room. “Alanna, you did your part yesterday. You helped out, but now you have to think about those babies, and not about us. They’re more important. You’re our top priority right now. This is the reason we’ve all been putting our necks on the line the past few weeks. Now don’t argue with us, okay?”
I nodded, even though what I really wanted was to stay with him and everyone else I loved. “What do we do?”
“Quinten, Jenna, and I will be acting as your personal guard. We’ll get you away from the house while Dennis, Haley, Nolan, Darren, and the rest of the Council’s wolves hold off Roger’s forces. By the time Roger realizes we’re gone, hopefully you’ll have already given birth, and you won’t be so helpless. Is that alright with you?”
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