Swiping her finger across the mixture, she popped it in her mouth. “Perfect. Taste it.”
While the goop smelled good, it looked inedible. However, her hand had his mouth watering. He grabbed her wrist and folded his fingers over her small palm, keeping one out. Using the same digit that had been in her mouth, he swiped up a glob of green and closed his lips over the tip.
She gasped as he sucked. Wow, the stuff was delicious. Using his tongue, he cleaned her finger and met her gaze. Her brown eyes went from whiskey to dark chocolate. Her mouth trembled as he slowly pulled her digit away from his lips. “Delicious.”
“I…I’ll make the salad while you munch on that.” She turned and poured some blue chips into a bowl. Her eyes wouldn’t meet his as she placed the bowl in front of him.
He sampled the chips and guacamole as he watched the Ashlynn Fisher cooking show. She chopped ingredients for a salad and tossed them into a large bowl. “What’s that you’re putting on it?”
“I make my own dressing. This is a honey one I’ve been working on. It goes great with the strawberries.”
“I never had fruit in a vegetable salad.” His fingers plucked up a ruby berry.
“I love salads made with berries and nuts.”
She cleared off the table and handed him a plate. “Dig in.”
The salad was out of this world. Everything was so ripe and bursting with flavor. She offered him a glass of sun tea made with the mint he’d sampled earlier and that was also amazing.
“You’re quite the chef,” he complimented.
She lifted a shoulder. “I’ve been cooking for my dad for years. We used to eat a lot of beef, but I worry about him. He’s in his late fifties now and I want his heart healthy. We eat mostly off the land, but my land’s a little more forgiving than his.”
He smiled. “You and your dad are close.”
“He’s my best friend.” The moment the words left her mouth she blushed. Lowering her gaze she confessed, “I don’t have a lot of friends.”
Neither did he, at least not close ones aside from his brothers and sisters. Even they sometimes didn’t know the real him. “I’d like to meet him.”
Her mouth pursed in a tight smile and she giggled.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Tell me.” He pushed away his plate.
“My dad’s been waiting for me to bring home a man so he can act all threatening and show off his rifle.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time I had a father point a gun at me.”
She laughed. “I bet.”
“I’d still like to meet him.”
“Maybe someday.”
He sensed her father was someone she protected as much as the man likely protected his baby girl. He liked that meeting Roy Fisher would be meaningful. He’d use it as a grading tool for how close he was getting into Ashlynn’s world.
Everything halted, though Ashlynn didn’t seem to feel the shift in the universe. What the fuck was he doing? Meeting parents? Noooo…he was not that guy. Yet…maybe he was. Fuck. He had to straighten his shit out.
Kelly didn’t want to mislead anyone, yet whenever Ashlynn spoke he simply replied without thinking and the bullshit spewing from his mouth was tripping him up big time, because it wasn’t really bullshit at all. Since she’d called him out last night, he’d been keeping it pretty honest with her. He didn’t have to think around her. He could just say what he felt, but he knew that would eventually bite him in the ass because whenever he let his feelings show he took things too far.
Knowing he wasn’t acting like his typical self and knowing he was likely misleading the poor girl didn’t seem to knock any sense into him. He couldn’t get a handle on his words, couldn’t control the situation with this woman like he did with other women. She seemed to be the one with a firm grasp on the situation and that was putting his head in a spin bin.
“What time do you have to go to O’Malley’s?” she asked.
Before he glanced at the time his gut tightened at the thought of leaving. He didn’t want to go. “I have to open at three.”
She glanced at the small clock over the oven and turned, eyes wide. “It’s two-thirty.”
“I know.” So why are you just sitting here?
“Don’t you have to go?”
“I’m waiting for my kiss goodbye.” Again, words came out without thought and he was shocked at the honesty behind them. His common sense had obviously checked out for the day.
Her cheeks pinkened and she lowered her face, forming a small “O” with her lips.
Fuck she was hot. “Are you going to kiss me goodbye, Ashlynn?”
Her narrow shoulders lifted with each breath as she tightly nodded. So shy. So delicious.
“Come here.” His husky whisper had her lashes lowering. He’d waited all morning to put his lips on hers and really kiss that sexy mouth the way it deserved to be kissed.
Her chair quietly slid across the wood floor as she slowly stood. Her soundless compliance did crazy shit to him. His heart thudded in his chest and his nostrils flared.
Ashlynn was an independent sort of woman, but when it came to intimate situations, she was all innocence and trust sprinkled with a little bit of trepidation and a dash of curiosity. How exciting would it be to unravel all the delicious curiosity and watch her satisfaction come to light? Through her thin tank top, he saw the press of her nipples. God, he wanted to play there.
She stepped close and he turned in his seat, wanting to see what she’d do. Her bare feet stopped a few inches from his. His fingers reached for her hand as he parted his knees, drawing her into the space between.
“Are you nervous?” he whispered. He didn’t want her afraid, but liked the idea of turning her into a jittery puddle of nerves. Every emotion he suspected in her entranced him. She was fascinating, so different from other women.
“I’m always nervous around you,” she quietly confessed, not meeting his eyes.
He traced a knuckle over her jaw. “I’d never do anything to hurt you.”
“That’s not why.”
He tipped his head, curiously observing her. “Why then?”
Her chest lifted and she set those dark chocolate eyes on him. Her voice was husky and breathless. “You make me feel things I never felt before, this sort of excitement that rushes through my blood whenever you’re near. I get all wobbly and forget how to talk. You make me forget myself.”
Drawing in a long breath, he caught her fingers and pressed them to his chest where his heart thundered behind his ribs with anticipation. “You make me shake too, love. When I feel your skin under my lips it takes everything I possess to hold onto my control, but I promise I won’t slip.”
Her pale lashes lowered as her head went back as though under the same heady spell he was suffering. When she blinked at him, her brow kinked and she appeared worried. “Why did you wait so long to talk to me?”
His eyes shut briefly. It was more than her being a good girl and him being trouble. She’d been nothing but honest with him and he owed her the same courtesy. Bracing himself for whatever reaction she’d have, he gave her the truth.
“I liked one girl in my life—really liked her. The day I told her how I felt she laughed and basically told me I was a joke. You see, I grew up in a house full of love. My parents are ridiculous together. My siblings are openly affectionate for the most part. But I know what love takes. It’s work. When I told that girl I wanted more than just one night, she laughed in my face and told me I didn’t have what it takes to do long term.”
“Did you love her?”
“No, but I wanted to. I wanted to be the guy that was it for her. She never gave me the chance. That’s how little she thought of me.”
“So, because of one girl’s opinion, you gave up on ever finding true love.”
His mind retreated at the term true love. That was a big one. “When Kate, my oldest sister, got married, she started having babies right away. It was like sh
e changed overnight from the girl with messy hair who grew up eating cornflakes across the table from me to this…woman. She’s a natural at adulthood and motherhood and all those other things we’re supposed to turn into. I don’t know how to be that.”
She frowned. “That’s not true. You work every day. You have responsibilities like every other adult.”
“Yeah, but most of it’s an act, like you said. I put on a happy face and pretend all the shitty stuff never happened. It’s like I gave up.”
“That’s not giving up, Kelly. It’s called growing up. When I lost my mom I lost so much hope. There was so much pain and loneliness, so much emptiness that somehow took up mass and smothered my will to breathe, but I kept hoping and praying that one day I’d remember how to smile again. Sometimes I had to fake it, just because I couldn’t bear to see my dad cry one more tear. You’re lucky you smile so easily, that your life’s full enough to give you those opportunities.”
“That’s just it, though. All those people, they don’t really give a shit about me.”
“That’s not true. Your family loves you.”
“Sure, but it’s an unconditional sort of thing. Everyone else only seems interested in what I can give them in the moment. They don’t want anything long term from me, because they don’t think I have any more to offer other than a few laughs.”
Her expression turned guarded. “Do you? Do you have more to offer?”
Shit. His mouth opened, but he hesitated. “Ashlynn…” Fuck. Why did it hurt to admit this? “It’s not about holding on to my bachelorhood or my youth. It’s about not measuring up. Every time I try to do the right thing I end up letting someone I care about down. It’s easier if people don’t depend on me.”
She lowered into her chair. “I see.”
He reached for her hand, hating what he was about to say. “Do you want me to leave?”
Her eyes were pained. “No. I want you to try.”
Recalling her words from the night before, he tossed them back at her. “To what end?”
“I don’t know. I know I like you and you make me feel things. It can’t be all sex because we aren’t doing that. There’s something about you, Kelly, something I feel around you that I don’t feel around other men.”
“But I want to have sex with you.”
She laughed. “I want to have sex with you too, but I won’t.”
His laugh was dry and lacking humor. “There isn’t much else to me.”
“You’re wrong. You’re a nice person. You’re funny and not because you tell jokes, but because you’re clever. You’re patient when you try to be and that counts for something.”
But his patience was teetering on a thin thread and eventually he would screw everything up. She wanted marriage and he wasn’t sure what he wanted. And like she said the night before, she didn’t want to marry him. “You’re wasting your time.”
“And what have I been doing before now? I don’t date. I have no real friends. I talk to plants more than people. I know what this is, Kelly. I know we have different goals, but I can’t seem to make you leave.”
“I really don’t want to hurt you.”
“I know that too.”
“We’re playing with fire.”
Her lips tightened and she nodded. “I’ve never really done anything reckless. I’m so careful and meticulous about every decision I make. It’s like I have to be perfect and I’m not even in the same universe as normal.”
He chuckled. “Perfect’s overrated.”
“Tell me about it. There was one guy who was perfect and they nailed him to a cross.”
At that he did laugh. “Ashlynn Fisher, was that a joke about God?”
She smirked. “Maybe.”
He reached over and squeezed her hand. He was going to be late for work, but didn’t care. “If you’re looking for someone to break the rules with, I’m your guy.”
“Because you’re Center County’s quintessential bad boy?”
He’d heard it before, but never had he felt the pinch of regret that stung him as Ashlynn said it. “Exactly.”
“I don’t think you’re as bad as everyone thinks, Kelly McCullough.”
He smirked and arched an eyebrow. “Oh, I can be quite naughty. Give it time.”
“I plan to.”
What were they doing? “Ashlynn…” She glanced up at him and he knew one of them had to bring them back to reality. “It’s all good and fun to joke about, but at the end of the day you’re still a woman I have no right to mess with.”
“Kelly, I may be a virgin, but I’m first a living, breathing woman. Just because I don’t have sex doesn’t mean I’m not a sexual person. I’m cautious, not cold. Sex is everywhere. It’s on TV, the radio, on billboards. I’m not blind. I’m abstinent. The only reason I’m so utterly inexperienced is because I’ve never had the opportunity to experiment with the stuff that comes before actual intercourse. I’m not a complete prude.”
His cock pulsed. “What does that mean?” It took some of the romance out of the equation, but he needed everything in black and white at the moment. No grey, no regrets.
“It means you know sex is out of the question and if we reach a point that I can’t go on, I tell you and you respect that. Immediately.”
How much time did he have? Oh, fuck it. The bar could open late. Sue would be there soon anyway. “Come here.”
A tight smile pulled at her lips as she glanced at him through those thick lashes. “Are you going to behave?”
“Enough, but hardly.”
She laughed and stood. He took her wrist and pulled her closer.
Her virtue was a catch that made her more appealing in some primitive way. Yes, it would be incredible to be the man Ashlynn Fisher finally surrendered to, but it would also be like cutting down a rare and beautiful flower in its prime. Once cut, the bloom would never again be the same. It intimidated him. He wasn’t ready for the sort of responsibility that sort of act imposed. But if they could experiment, like she said, without crossing that line…oh hell yeah, he was into that.
Eventually it would have to end, but he didn’t want to think about that now. He tugged her closer. “Kiss me.”
Her mouth parted, her soft pink tongue darting past the plump pillow of her lower lip, moistening it. She leaned in with slow halting movements and he waited, enjoying her measured progress. So much patience, such a fucking turn on.
His hands went to her hips, teasing that slice of skin he’d spotted earlier and he pulled her closer. She gasped and caught her weight on his shoulders, her palms like two little brands burning through the cotton of his shirt. Every time she touched him, he caught fire.
He pressed his tongue past her full lips and caught hers. Always hesitant at first, he coaxed her mouth with his until she reacted, meeting his thrusts with gentle swipes of her sweet tongue. “Sit on my lap,” he whispered against her lush mouth.
Breaking the kiss, she turned as though to sit with her legs draped to one side.
He caught her hips. “No, no. Like this.” Pulling his thighs together he directed her legs on either side until she was straddling him. He pulled her hips to his lap and her cheeks turned a deep shade of red.
“This is inappropriate,” she said, but her mouth was tight with a sweet smirk telling him she was feeling the thrill of breaking the rules.
He bit back a laugh. What adult worried about shit like that? She did. Pulling his upper lip between his teeth, he cleared his throat. He didn’t want to laugh and come off disrespectful. Using a slow and calm voice, he said, “Appropriateness is overrated too. I won’t move my hands. I promise.”
Her wide eyes dilated, darkening to rich chocolate, as she nodded.
Keeping his hands firmly on her hips, he pulled her closer and found her lips again. Soft, slightly swollen, he sealed his mouth to hers and explored her. He kissed her passionately, aggressively, deeply, but never too fast. His pace remained a steady beat of temptation warming his blood.
/> Soft little moans of surprise and satisfaction escaped her throat. Her body melted against his. Narrow arms wreathed around his neck as soft keening whimpers passed her lips. He swallowed every sweet sound.
He was already late for work, but he didn’t give a shit. He was in heaven.
His fingers tightened on her narrow hips and he pressed his pelvis into the V of her thighs. She gasped into his mouth, her throaty voice causing his cock to twitch and strain. “Kelly…”
“Do you want me to stop?” Please say no.
He ground his bulge against her apex again and she whimpered. “It feels so good.” Her breathy voice was a soft rasp over his lips.
“This is only kissing, Ashlynn. There so much more.”
“Oh, God…”
His hands tightened, never straying, and he dragged her over the swell of his cock. She sucked in a breath. Her head lulled back and his mouth worked its way down her throat.
“What are you doing to me?” she whispered, her breath stuttering from her lungs as he continued to torment her.
“Just making you feel.” He repeated the motion and her legs quivered. “Do you feel me, Ashlynn? That’s what you do to a man, what you do to me.”
Her exhalation was choppy. Mouth parted, her eyes glazed with evident lust. Leaning forward, he slid his tongue over her lower lip, and sucked it into his mouth. She moaned as he continued to rock her slowly over her body.
“Feel me,” he whispered as he took her mouth. She tasted like sun-ripened berries. “Feel what you do to my body.”
Her fingers tightened in his shirt and suddenly she took charge, her sweet little tongue demanding more. She turned into an unrefined flame, burning his body everywhere she touched. His hips lifted as his hands itched to touch her. “I want to move my hands.”
She moaned and reached behind him, never taking her mouth off his as she rode him. Friction built beneath their clothes as her hand reached back and squeezed his fingers. “Yes,” she panted and that was his green light.
Chaste Page 12
