"Okay, so is there anything else I should know?"
"I think that's it, except maybe just let the beta-blocker issue go. At least until she's done subbing for me."
"I already did. Mac and I had that conversation in the kitchen when she brought in the dishes. I would like to find a way to help her so she doesn't need them to perform, but after tonight's horrifying revelations, I will hold off. Now about the play party on Sunday. I know you won't be playing, but do you think there's any chance you could get Mac to come?"
"I'll see what I can do. I've been known to play the guilt card on occasion. This might be an appropriate time."
"Didn't you use it to get her to play for you?"
"Nope. That was an act of love, pure and simple. The guilt card is only required if I ask something truly decadent of her."
"Gotta go, that's the door. I'll catch you later."
"G'night."
***
Mac stroked Gounod on her lap as she waited for Sully to answer his phone.
"Hey, how did it go tonight, sweetie?"
"Really well. I didn't even need to take a beta blocker."
"That's awesome. I knew you'd be fine."
"I know that won't be the case tomorrow night, though."
"That's okay, do what you can. Finn gets it. He won't be on your case about it any more, but that doesn't mean he won't work at finding another way to deal."
"Yeah, I know. We talked about it earlier. It was hard to believe he was the same person I met last night. He went from total asshole to sweet and thoughtful. It almost gave me whiplash."
"I told you he really wasn't an asshole. What happened with his wife warped his view of anxiety and medication."
"Yeah, I get it. At least we're able to have a functional working relationship."
"That's a start. So, Finn's got a play party coming up on Sunday. I won't be able to play, but I'm going to attend anyway. How about you join me."
Mac's answer was instant. "No."
"Aw, come on, Mac. It'll be fun. You don't have to play. Just keep me company."
"Fuck you, Sully. You aren't being fair. I know when you're inching towards a guilt trip. It's not going to work this time."
"It's not some random party, Mac. It's restricted to the quintet members and their subs. There's no pressure. It's just a social occasion where we get to let off steam. You aren't the only one who needs to decompress after performing. When we have a crazy concert schedule, like we do every December, Finn throws end of week play parties."
"No. I am not part of the quintet, and I am not anyone's sub."
"Right now you are part of the quintet, and while you may not belong to anyone, you are a sub."
"Fuck. Why are you pushing this? I agreed to perform a bunch of concerts in your place. That was all we'd agreed to. You never said anything about play parties, or any other social activities."
"True, I didn't include socialising in my request, but I'm asking now. I want to go to the party, and if I don't get to play, I'd like to have someone to keep me company."
Mac was torn. She'd spent years avoiding social situations. She felt safer and more in control that way, but sometimes she missed letting loose and having some fun with a group of people.
"I wouldn't be expected to play?"
"Not if you don't want to. You know the way it works. Nothing's changed. Safe, Sane, and Consensual. You know I'd cut off my lips and rip my own lungs out before I'd ever put you at risk."
"Yeah, but would you play a concert on a commercial reed?"
"In a heartbeat. So, will ya, will ya?"
Mac could feel herself being swayed. Sully had protected her for years. Her head knew he would never put her safety at risk, but that didn't stop her from being afraid.
"I don't know. It's been so long since I've been to any party, let alone a kinky one."
I know, sweetheart. Just give it a try. If it's too much for you, we'll leave. Who knows, you might just have a little fun for a change.
"I hate you, Sully. I really, really hate you."
"No you don't. You love me to pieces. You can pick me up at seven."
"Fine. G'night."
"Good night, sweetheart."
Miserable fucker. Yet another thing he'd talked her into. How much more upheaval would he wreak upon her before his ribs healed. Oh well, she'd had a pretty good rehearsal, and getting through without needing a blocker made it that much better. That hand rub sure helped mitigate the earlier unpleasantness of the evening, and now she and Finn were no longer at odds with each other, she hoped things would go smoothly until her obligation to Sully and his quintet was over.
***
Chapter 4
Mac was bombarded by the other members of the quintet the moment they left the stage.
"Great concert, Mac," Griff said, as he gave her a pat on the shoulder.
"Yeah, I thought I'd seen your A game, but, wow." Jack added.
"Thanks, guys. I think we all kicked-ass tonight and I'm glad I didn't let you down."
"You were completely fab. Wanna join us at the pub for a drink to wind down?" Wilson asked.
"I appreciate the offer, but I need to head home. I decompress better there."
"Okay, but we'll be at the Squeaky Wheel if you change your mind."
Mac donned her coat and grabbed her gear as she headed for her car. "Good night. I'll see you all tomorrow night."
The men waved to Mac as she left. Finn opened the door for her, watching until he she'd made it safely to her vehicle and was driving away. He appreciated that she checked the inside of her car carefully before opening the door and getting in. He would have preferred to walk her to her car, but based on what Sully'd told him, he figured she wouldn't be good with that, and he didn't want to put her on the spot by asking.
Baby steps. She rehearsed the night before without meds. That was huge to him. She'd agreed to come to the play party with Sully. That was huge in a whole other way. Well, off to the pub to drink with the boys. He'd have to give them some background on Mac so they could be aware of possible triggers. Why did he always have to fall for the damaged ones? At least with Mac, her anxiety was strictly limited to performance situations. As long as it stayed that way, he would deal.
***
Mac's phone started ringing just as she settled into bed with a steaming cup of tea. She knew who it would be, even before looking at the caller ID.
"Hi, Sully."
"Hey gorgeous, great gig tonight. I don't think I've ever heard you sound better."
"You were there?"
"Of course I was there. Your first performance in years? I'd have to be crossing the threshold of death's door to miss that."
"Thanks for being there. You should have told me you were coming."
"Nope, you had enough on your mind. I didn't want to risk being any kind of distraction for you. Anyway, I know you have a post-performance ritual, so I will let you get back to it. I just wanted to let you know how awesome you were and how proud of you I am."
"Thanks. Sometimes, I think you know me way too well, but I'm really glad you do."
"Goodnight, sweetheart."
"Goodnight."
Mac sipped her tea as she considered her best friend. He would make someone very lucky one day. Too bad he didn't have a nice, regular woman to be taking care of him while he's out of commission. On second thought, it's probably just as well. His rampant libido and non-existent self control would likely hold back his recovery. Hell, that's what got his ribs broken in the first place. At least he wouldn't get a chance to over-do it at the play party. That was probably the only good thing she could come up with about letting Sully talk her into going.
Bugger. It had been so long since she'd been around any of that kind of activity in real life. She had been just getting involved when her world imploded. While her interest remained, she limited her indulgence to online lurking. She and Sully talked about it, but mostly in the context of his exploits.
While she often masturbated to Sully's anecdotes, it was only the sub's experience that turned her on. Because theirs was a sibling-like relationship, she consciously replaced Sully with the Dom of her dreams. Somehow over the last few days, the Dom of her dreams had morphed into Finn.
Finn. How on earth was she going to handle watching him play with someone else? True, the only playing she'd done in years happened in her head, and the prospect of a physical experience was too terrifying to contemplate. Of course, she didn't have to watch Finn. The rest of the quintet would be there. She could watch them. Besides, she was only going to keep Sully from feeling like a wallflower. Maybe just being there, watching the action live, would help her shift from fantasy-land to reality.
***
Chapter 5
Mac fidgeted as she and Sully waited at Finn's front door. "It'll be fine. I'll be there the whole time, but if I do have to leave you for any reason, you know, like taking a piss, I'll make sure you are safe and not left alone. Trust me."
"I do trust you. You know I do. That doesn't make this any less scary, though."
"It's okay to be scared as long as it doesn't hold you back. You've been letting it hold you back for too long."
Their conversation stopped as they heard the lock being released, and they both turned to face the door.
Finn appeared and smiled. "Great, you both made it. Come on in, we're just getting organised. Now that you're here, we can get started."
Mac and Sully entered and stowed their outerwear. Finn continued as he locked the door behind them, "I've set up seating for you in the after-care area, which should afford you both a good view of most, if not all the action. There is a refreshment table there as well, so please, do help yourselves."
They made their way through to the kitchen, where an open door revealed a staircase to the basement.
"Hold onto the banister and watch your step. It's a little steep. We can't afford another injured oboist."
At the bottom of the stairs, Mac got her first glimpse of the playroom. It was post and beam and seemed to span almost the entire footprint of the house. Her first instinct was to turn tail and run, but curiosity and her commitment to Sully won out. That, and Sully prodding her along from behind.
She spotted the after-care area in the far corner and they skirted the perimeter of the room to get there without disturbing those who were already playing.
"You're a real joker. A fainting couch? Fuck, Finn, why don't you just lop off my balls right now," Sully complained.
"Oh, suck it up, buttercup. It was the most comfortable option I could think of. I could go get you a ladder-back chair from the kitchen if you would prefer, because that nice comfy chair next to the couch is for Mac."
Mac smirked at the exchange and felt her shoulders relax a bit.
"Have a seat while our diva decides whether he requires an uncomfortable chair to prove his manliness." Finn indicated a recliner to Mac that would have suited Sully's needs perfectly, and feeling a touch mischievous, she accepted.
Sully huffed. "Fuck you, Finn. And you too, Mac."
Mac rolled her eyes at Finn and giggled. He responded with a wink, sparking that increasingly familiar tingle between her legs.
"Oh, settle yourself down before you disturb a scene." Finn reached for a Coke and waited for Sully to get himself comfortable before handing it over. "Can I get you something, Mac?"
"I'm fine for now, thanks."
Mac gave a little jump when she felt Finn settle on the floor and take her right foot in his hands. "What on earth are you doing? You should be attending to your sub, not fulfilling Sully's foot fantasies."
"And if I had a sub here, I would be attending to her needs. Since I don't, I am free to attend to yours. Now just sit back, watch whatever scenes interest you, and enjoy."
***
Finn kept a close eye on which scenes grabbed Mac's attention and filed them away for future reference. The activities she watched openly would be good rewards for her trying the ones she was uncomfortable about, yet found irresistible. He continued to rub her feet, but occasionally worked his way up to her calves, careful not to overstay his welcome.
The way Mac's eyes kept wandering to the corner of the room where Jackson sat in a chair, spanking the sub draped over his lap, gave Finn his first clue to what Mac found appealing. If it hadn't been for her slight shiver and the small, sharp intake of breath, he would have missed her quick glance at Wilson working his rope magic. Interesting. Something to keep in mind for the very distant future, if ever. He knew what seemed arousing in fantasy, could be disastrous in reality, and with Mac's experience, he didn't feel particularly optimistic on that front. While he liked to work with rope occasionally, it didn't get him all fired up like it did Wilson.
Mac interrupted his thoughts. "Finn, you can stop any time."
"I told you I would be attending your needs today, and unless there is something you need more than your feet rubbed, I'm happy to keep doing what I'm doing. Is there something more pressing you need?"
"Um, no. It's just that you've been at it for an awfully long time, and while it feels great, I don't want to monopolise you."
"We'll just carry on then, shall we?"
"Yeah, I guess."
***
Even though everyone else was leaving, Mac didn't want to go. She was completely relaxed, and one look at Sully told her he was perfectly happy to stay put. To hell with it. She wanted to spend more time with Finn and with Sully here, she was safe.
She looked up and smiled as Finn returned to the playroom after seeing the last of his guests out the door.
"Mmm, there's nothing I like better than a contented smile, especially if I helped produce it."
"Stop fishing. Yes, you're the main cause, but don't let it go to your head."
"I'll try not to. It's getting late, and Sully is looking rather comfortable. How about you both spend the night?"
Mac sucked in a breath and let it out slowly as she tried to control her panic. "Absolutely not. Sully can stay. I'll pick him up in the morning and take him home."
Sully piped up. "Oh, Mac, come on, it's just a sleep-over. You can even bring me breakfast in bed. It'll be fun. You may not think so right now because it's outside of your comfort-zone, but honey, you've gotta start pushing the boundaries, and with me here, and Finn knowing the whole score, it's probably the safest opportunity you could ask for."
"I can't believe you think the prospect of me bringing you breakfast in bed qualifies as incentive. I already moved out of my comfort-zone by attending this party. Don't you think that's enough for one day?"
"I know how hard it was for you to come tonight. But you are so strong, and so capable of pushing harder than this, and I think you should. You know about safewords. Stay a little longer, and see how you feel. If you're uncomfortable, just say yellow, and we'll do whatever is necessary to get you back to green, and if you really need to bail, just call red. Okay?"
"I don't know, Sully. I'm scared."
"I know, sweetheart. We talked about this. I want you to think very carefully, will giving in to your fear be holding you back?"
Mac waffled back and forth, but in her heart, she knew Sully was right. She was letting fear hold her back. She hated when Sully was right. It made him rather insufferable as he rubbed it in. Fuck it. Every time she let her fear rule her, that monster won. Maybe it was time to start taking back her life. "If I were to stay, where would I sleep?"
Finn spoke up. "I have a couple of spare rooms. I promise, absolutely nothing will happen you don't want to happen. Okay? Like Sully said, you have safewords, and they work for every situation, no matter what."
Mac hugged her knees, and rested her chin on top of them. She closed her eyes, took in a long, deep breath, held it, and waited for her heart to stop hammering before she let it escape. "Okay, I'll try."
"Good," Sully said, "now can we move this party upstairs? As comfy as this damned fainting couch is, I don't want to end up sleepin
g on it."
***
So far, so good, Finn thought as he followed Sully and Mac up the stairs. He and Sully figured they'd be doing well if they got Mac to stay until everyone else had left the play party. That she had agreed to spend the night, was beyond a bonus. Of course agreeing to spend the night, and actually doing it, were two completely different things. "Sully, how about you come with me to show Mac to her room before you head on to yours."
"We're going to bed now?" Mac asked.
Finn couldn't help but feel a little triumphant at the disappointment he saw on Mac's face. So far, the night had been a total success, and he was not going to do anything to jeopardise it. "Yes, we're going to bed now. One look, and I can tell you're both shattered. A good night's sleep is what we all need, so let's get a move on."
***
Chapter 6
The scream that jolted him from sleep had already stopped, but the muffled moans had him out of bed and through the door before his brain had really kicked in. "What the fuck?" It was fortunate he'd chosen to wear pyjama bottoms to bed, because he was already in Mac's room before his choice of sleepwear became a consideration. He raced to the bed and crouched next to it as he flipped on the lamp. He remained perfectly still and spoke softly. "Mac, wake up, love. It's just a bad dream. I'm not going to touch you, but you need to wake up, baby."
Mac continued to moan, and Finn let out a sigh of relief as he heard Sully come shuffling through the door. "Thank fuck. Get in here and do something. I don't want to touch her and freak her out more, but she's not responding to my words."
"Dammit, I thought she was over this. I'll talk to her, but you're going to have to hold her, because she might struggle, even with me. Just try and hold her so she'll see me when she opens her eyes."
Finn eased onto the bed beside Mac. As he slipped his arms around her and gently pulled her into his side, she went limp and stopped moaning. He rocked her gently as he stroked her hand and rubbed his cheek against the top of her head.
First Taste: A Collection of Hot Alpha Doms Page 35
